Hello, my lovely readers. Sorry about how long it took to write this chapter. Writer's block comes and goes. On with the show…
Chapter 3: Women and Other Headache Producing Anomalies
A week after Klaus had spotted the blonde he assumed was Caroline, he had worked very hard to avoid anyone in his family. Since everyone in his family felt the urge to call him, ring his doorbell or to leave notes on his front door of late, this was not easy. Why did they suddenly want to be around him? Usually Klaus' family tried their best to keep their distance, unless they wanted to fall victim to his endless barbs.
On this particular morning, Klaus was suffering from the mother of all hangovers thanks to going out with some "friends" from work. A long day became an even longer night and Klaus ended up leaving Rousseau's with what some might refer to as his stalker, Aurora de Martel. A glamorous way to end an agonizing week.
Groaning, while his head pounded out a heavy metal song from a late 80s group, Klaus gritted his teeth in agony. "God," he moaned, gripping the side of his head.
"Need some painkillers?" Aurora chirped, her eyes wide with mischief as she emptied the contents of an orange vial into the palm of her hand.
"Ummm," Klaus grunted, eyeing the pills that the red head held out with an innocent smile. He knew by this point that there was nothing about the spoiled, little rich girl who was used to getting whatever she wanted, except for Klaus, at least until his faculties had failed him the previous night, that was innocent. "No, thanks, love," he muttered before scooting to the end of the bed, wrapping a sheet around his middle and standing.
"Come on, Klaus. They won't hurt you," Aurora teased, moving so that she was balancing on her knees and the sheet she had pulled around her slipped an inch with every word. "I would never hurt you. I love you," she told him gleefully.
"How… nice," Klaus retorted, looking around the room for a t-shirt and pair of jeans. At this point he would put on an Easter Bunny costume if only he could rid himself of this girl's company. Going to the bar had been a mistake. He had been hoping to run into Cami. Once he had seduced her, he could cross her off his list. But the blonde had not been there. Unfortunately for Klaus, Aurora had been there instead.
"Do you want to get some breakfast?" Aurora asked, climbing off the bed and coming to sway from foot to foot in front of Klaus with a dreamy look. "Or I could cook for you! Oh, let me cook! It will be so much fun! I swear I will not burn the apartment to the ground."
"Why don't you go out and get something. Here," Klaus found his wallet under his bed but not his pants. Retrieving a twenty dollar bill that was slightly wet, from what Klaus had no idea, he took Aurora's right hand and jammed the money into it. "Treat yourself to a pastry. I have to get to work."
"But…" Klaus could feel Aurora's eyes on him as he collected her blue mini-dress, heels and purse before dumping them into her arms. "I…" Aurora looked confused as Klaus spun her around, unlocked his door and shoved her out.
"Keep the sheet," Klaus called, waving at the girl who looked horrified when his neighbor from across the hall exited his apartment. Closing the door, Klaus went back to look for his own clothing. Finding a clean t-shirt and pair of jeans under a couch cushion, he strode across the room, intent on finding a bagel and getting to work. When he noticed that his answering machine's light was flashing, he pressed a button causing Elijah's voice to fill the room. "Niklaus, we're having a family dinner tonight. You are expected to attend. No arguments."
Klaus shook his head, biting back an insult and looking for the bagels as the answering machine continued to spurt out messages. "Nik, Elijah said he called but I wanted to remind you that none of us have seen you for over a week and we'd like to see you're smug mug tonight. Right then." Rebekah snapped before hanging up.
The last message was from Freya who had been out of town for a year. "Niklaus, I hear that we're having a family dinner. If you do not arrive promptly, I will send Finn and Kol to collect you. Don't make this like last year. Please."
Growling, Klaus kicked his fridge door closed before he marched over to the answering machine and deleted all of the messages. He would not be threatened with being physically carried to a dinner, not by his own bloody family. The phone rang again and Klaus sneered at it while taking a healthy bite from his bagel. "Klaus, are you going to get your ass to work, your few fans are missing the sound of your wit," Damon snapped into the phone, his sarcasm loud and clear.
Picking up, Klaus smirked. "Oh, Damon, what is the matter? Did you strike out with the brunette from last night?" he asked with fake sympathy.
"Nope. Scored a home run with that one," Damon told Klaus who rolled his eyes. "Get your ass to work. Now! Or I get to fire you, for good this time!"
When there was the sound of a dial tone echoing in the air, Klaus dropped the receiver. "Bugger him," Klaus grunted before yanking his boxers off and his pants on. Anyone who didn't like his going commando could sod off.
Most of the calls that Klaus took that day were from sad saps with no life of their own. Klaus was about to give up when a new voice filled his ears. "Hello, Klaus. Where have you been? I was beginning to think that you had decided to do the female population of New Orleans a favor and join the priesthood." Caroline's words would have made Klaus chuckle before he saw her with his brother-in-law. Now all they did was make him ache for the perfect girl he had dreamt of. "What? No snappy retort?" she teased.
"Yes, Caroline, I am still here. Still on-air. Still leaving the ladies of New Orleans begging to hear my smooth voice fill their hearts and still leaving their panties on the floor of my flat."
"I see that a little vacation has done nothing to flatten that ego. Do you think an anvil would do anything to change that?" Caroline joked.
"I don't know, Caroline, can you think of anything like an anvil that might injure my ego because last night I had a very eager young lady stroking it," Klaus retorted. He was hoping to get a rise out of Caroline. No doubt, she was too occupied, screwing Jackson, to actually care what Klaus was up to but it was worth a try.
"Oh, so you had another one-night-stand? Why am I not surprised?" Caroline laughed, causing Klaus to clench his teeth.
Who in the bloody hell was she kidding anyone? Running around with a married man for pity's sake. Sitting back in his seat, Klaus steepled his fingers and tried to think of the best way in which he could make her sweat. "Caroline?"
"Yes, Klaus," Caroline sang into the phone, all sunshine and perk.
"Do you remember our first conversation about cheating?" Klaus asked in a solemn tone.
"Yes. How could I forget? Is this about the girl that cheated on you? She's not the one night stand is she? Oh, Klaus, when will you ever learn? People who cheat, don't stop. It's like a compulsion. Like when you start eating chocolate and you say 'I'm just going to eat this one, little piece. The next thing you know, you ate an entire box and have to go to the gym and run like a billion miles."
Caroline sounded so relaxed that Klaus almost felt bad about what he was about to say next. Almost. "Caroline, I think you should have your own show. You can give women advice."
"That does sound like a good job for me," Caroline replied with a giggle. "Does your manager have any openings?"
"I don't know. You could come by the studio and ask him," Klaus continued, without allowing Caroline to respond. "Where was I? Oh, yes, tips. I think your first segment should be about cheating, yes? How about you begin with giving women advice on how to keep their husbands faithful? Or you could place yourself into the shoes of a mistress? Give married ladies an idea of why men might find a woman outside of their homes attractive?"
"Hmmm. Well, I like the first one. I'm not so sure about the second. I really frown on cheating," Caroline told Klaus, and for a moment he almost fell for her act.
"Are you sure, Caroline? Are you sure you would have no idea what it was like to be the other woman? Are you sure that you have never crossed the line with someone who has declared that they would live the rest of their lives with someone else? Are you a hundred percent certain that you have never in your short life taken anyone's husband into your bed?" Klaus cried, knowing that he had lost his temper and he was practically shouting into the speaker.
"Seriously! What is your problem?" Caroline yelled back and Klaus felt his cheeks redden as his pulse raced with barely contained anger.
"I'm sorry, Caroline, we'll have to do this again sometime soon but my program is at a close." Hanging up on Caroline, Klaus ran a hand over his face before speaking again. "That is all for today, listeners. Thank you for tuning into Lonely Souls Radio. Have a good night and try to not cheat," Klaus said before he yanked his head phones off.
"What was that about?" Marcel asked, popping his head into the booth and giving Klaus a confused look. "I thought you liked that girl."
Klaus shrugged, giving his friend a fake smile. "You know that I have never been one to fancy one girl for too long."
"Yeah. You're a real love 'em and leave 'em type of guy. Speaking of which, Damon told me that there's some girl by the name of Aurora who's been calling for the past two hours and now she's in the lobby, looking for you." Marcel stated, folding his arms over his chest.
Shaking his head, Klaus got to his feet, slowly. "Yes, that would seem to be my luck these days. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to take her to the family dinner tonight. If my family doesn't scare her off, then I'm afraid I'll have to have her killed."
Marcel's eyebrows rose at Klaus' comments. "Are you sure you're feeling okay? I don't remember you ever taking a girl to a family dinner before."
"Marcel, there is a first for everything. Maybe Rebekah will not threaten to kill Kol. Maybe Elijah will stop trying to love Hayley. Maybe we will all be crushed by a meteor instead of having to eat whatever vegan delight that Freya concocts." Klaus listed off the impossibilities of a night with his family on his way into the lobby.
"Klaus, there you are! I've been waiting for you for hours. That man who runs the station is very rude," Aurora told Klaus with a pout, reaching out and yanking him closer to her.
"Yes, Damon is an ass. I would have him fired, but I don't own this station," Klaus replied, mimicking Aurora's pout.
"My daddy could buy this place and fire him for us. He could make you into the manager," Aurora gasped, clapping her hands together when Marcel let out a snort of laughter.
Suppressing his own desire to laugh out loud, Klaus slid his arms around Aurora's waist. "How would you like to attend a dinner with my family tonight?" he asked her.
Aurora let out a shriek before leaping into Klaus' arms and wrapping herself so tightly around him that he could barely breathe. "Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. Please! I will be on my best behavior. Oh, we're going to have the loveliest time and I will make your family love me. I swear on my life."
Klaus forced a smile when Aurora kissed him. Oh, yes, this was going to be a memorable night. Now if he could make sure that he and Jackson were not seated too closely together and if there were no sharp instruments within his reach, then everything would go along wonderfully. If not, who could tell? Maybe Caroline really would become a new host for the station after Klaus went to jail for ending her lover's life.
Thank you for reading, faving, following and reviewing.
Answers to guest reviews:
Guest: Thank you. I hope you're still enjoying the fic.
NikMik: We will see more of Klaus and Hope and some cute, fluffy moments next time. In a round about way, Klaus will make it obvious to Hayley what Jack's been up to. We will have to wait a little longer before Klaus and Care meet in person, but trust me, it will be worth the wait.
Guest: Finally, I updated. It's only been a billion years.
Peace,
J