Stainless, Chap 4

It was Christmas Eve. Nearly 11 at night, and I was running. I had been running for the past half an hour, running blindly through the torrent of rain that soaked through my cloths and hair. I didn't know where I was running, all I knew was that I had to get as far away from 12 Grimmauld place as possible.

I'm not sure when all of this started, but to me its been this way for as long as I can remember. But I guess it started when I was sorted into Gryffindor. That was when they really started to hate me, not just dislike me, hate me. I remember clearly the morning after, when they had sent me a howler. I had acted as though I didn't care, masking everything I felt. But I did care, and I always have, no matter how much I claim to hate them. Because no matter what they do, they are still my family, and you just can't hate your family.

I slipped and fell. Somehow, I managed to land in a large puddle. I sighed, not having the energy to get back up again. What did it matter anyway? I was worthless. And so I laid in the puddle for a few minutes, before I finally realised that I would probably catch phenomena if I stayed in it. Forcing myself to get up again, I limped forward. I knew where I was going now, James's house. The one place in the world where I felt safe, maybe even loved.

I had been walking for nearly fifteen minutes, when I finally reached Potter Manor. It was magnificent from the outside, and even more so on the inside. I limped up to their front door, and knocked three times, passing a hand over my face in an attempt to regain my composure. I realised I must look awful.

Suddenly, the door swung open, allowing light to filter out onto the porch. James Potter stood in front of me, clad in snitch-covered pyjamas. His favourite.

"Hi," I greeted pathetically. He simply stood there and stared, ogling. Maybe I looked worse than I thought. "Um…James?" I asked, trying to regain his attention. He finally seemed to come back to his senses.

"What the hell happened to you Padfoot?" was the first thing he said. How charming.

"Do you think I could come in first Prongs? It's freezing out here," I asked. He nodded faintly and stumbled out of the way, holding open the door as I trudged into the house. He closed and locked it behind me.

"Mum, Dad! Come down here, quick!" he called, as soon I was in the house. I groaned inwardly. Why did he have to make such a big fuss? I wasn't that badly hurt…right? But then I realised that I probably was. Now that I was finally here, in the cosy and warm household of the potters, the effects of the many stinging hexes sent my way were starting to take their toll. I leaned against the side of the banister, waiting for the pain to subside. James approached me, looking extremely concerned. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked. I almost had to bite back tears at his show of caring; no one in my finally had ever been concerned about me.

I was about to reply when suddenly I heard the loud rumbling footsteps of Mr and Mrs. Potter on the stairs. A moment later they appeared beside James. Mrs. Potter gasped, while Mr. Potter, like James, just stared in astonishment.

"Sirius!" Mrs. Potter cried out, throwing her arms around me in a bone-crushing hug that made my cuts and bruises scream. I didn't care though, I could never be angry with Mrs. Potter. "Oh what happened to you?" she asked, tears forming in her eyes. I guess I really do make people miserable.

She led me into the living room and made me lie down on the coach, James and her husband following us. She flicked her wand, switching on the light and causing me temporary blindness. However, I soon got used to the light, and when I did, I noticed a Christmas tree standing silently in the corner of the room. It was beautiful, lit up with a hundred different coloured lights, a fairy crowning the top. Under it, at least 30 presents, sat, awaiting the next day. I smiled, we never had Christmas trees at 12 Grimmauld place.

"Where did you get all of these cuts and bruises from?" I heard James ask from beside me. I turned my head a little and locked eyes with him, hoping he wouldn't notice how bloodshot my eyes probably were.

I was silent for a moment, and nobody said a thing, knowing that eventually I would talk. "I ran away," I finally said. I let out a low rasping breath, glad to have finally gotten it out. James stared at me dumbfounded for a moment, before grinning joyfully and clapping me on the shoulder.

"That's great Pad-Sirius!" he exclaimed. In a way he was right, but he was also wrong. Did he know what it was like to be hated by your own family? I don't think so.

"Yeah…" I replied, trying to sound as convincing as possible. He believed me. I looked over his shoulder to see that his parents had left the room. He said they had gone to get some muggle medicine for my cuts and bruises. And soon enough, they returned, carrying with them a bowl of warm water and some tubes of medicine. Mrs. Potter administered the water and medicine, and all the while it was silent. Eventually, she was done and I knew this was the moment in which I had to ask. Bracing myself, I breathed in a shuddering breath.

"Mr and Mrs. Potter…um…would it be okay if I just well- its fine if you don't want me too- but could I stay here for a while? Just for a few days-," I started. However, Mrs. Potter quickly cut me off.

"Of course you can stay here Sirius! You're practically my second son anyway! You can stay here as long as you like…" she said, smiling at me. "But please Sirius, tell us what happened," she added, making me shiver slightly. I think James noticed. To be honest, I didn't care. I wasn't sure if I could relive the events again, well, without having a mental break down. But I knew I had to tell them; they were letting me stay in their house, they deserved the truth. And besides, James was my best friend; he had the right to know…

"Well, it started at dinner…" I began. I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder and realised it was James's. I breathed in shakily and continued, "My parents were discussing this new dark lord that is rising in power…and how I should join him." At this I heard a quiet collective gasp from the Potters. Ignoring them, I continued, "They said I was the Black heir, and it was the only way to redeem myself. They said…if I joined, we could be a family again. That I would make them proud, and everything would be okay again. Regulus wanted me to do it too; he said it would be a great honour. Yeah right, I'd rather die," I let out a bark like laugh at this, but did not stop. "So I said no, that this dark lord was a heartless murderer and I would never join him. My parents started screaming and shooting stinging hexes at me. I ran for cover, out of the house. My mother screamed that I was no longer part of the Black family and I was no son of hers. Then she slammed the door, and I ran," I finally finished my story, my eyes squeezed tightly shut. I was afraid of opening them for the fear of the tears which I knew would escape. "I suppose she's probably blasting my name of that darn tapestry right now," I added.

I suddenly felt something fling itself onto me, and I opened my eyes to find James hugging me. "How could anyone be that cruel?" he asked, whispering. I shook my head. I didn't know.

James finally let go of me and sat back, watching me with pity in his eyes. I didn't care. I just felt empty inside, cold and empty, as though something had been ripped out of me. Why did it hurt so much? I didn't even like my parents, so why did it hurt to know they would never love me? To my horror, my eyesight suddenly blurred, and I felt wetness leak from my eyes and slide down my cheeks. Why the hell was I crying? I had nothing to cry about. Blacks weren't supposed to show emotion. Of course, I wasn't a Black anymore, I reminded myself bitterly, causing a new wave of tears to build up in my eyes.

I tried to hide them. I tried to inconspicuously rub my eyes, but it didn't work. Mrs. Potter had already moved forwards and grabbed my hands, before pulling me into another hug. My third today.

"Sirius, its okay to be sad about leaving your family," she whispered in my ear. "It only shows you're human," I didn't trust my voice, so I didn't speak. Just nodded, letting the tears cascade down my cheeks into her jumper.

After a while, they finally slowed and I let go, sitting up. James was still beside me, smiling a little. "I've always wanted a brother," he said simply when I sent him a questioning look. I smiled at him, and he returned it. And then, when I looked towards the clock on the wall, the hands both pointed towards 12. It was Christmas day. A new start. A new day. A new life.

James grinned madly at me. "Merry Christmas Padfoot,"