A Long December
Chapter 4: Time and Time Again
Author: Starcrossedsoulmates
Rating: PG-13, possibly R later
Disclaimer: I don't own the show, the characters or the song titles. Rest assured that if I did own the show or the characters, Season 6 and 7 would've gone a whole lot differently.
Summary: Literati. Post Season 6 – slightly AU, future fic. One month, a lifetime of changes. Maybe this year will be better than the last.
A/N: I apologize for the delay in posting a new chapter. I had written this before Thanksgiving, but something about it wasn't reading smoothly. I went back tonight and tweaked some things, so I hope it reads as smoothly as it did in my head.
Tiny details about the time line of the story: Jess did come and find Rory and showed her his book and met Logan, but in my story, Rory never went to Philly to see Jess and the bookstore.
And some responses to reviews: First, thank you all SO much for all the positive feedback I'm getting on this concept and the writing. It makes me happy :-)
Second, to RBDFAN: It's my opinion that if Jess was single and not getting married, it would be too easy for him to fall back into the off-again, on-again situation with Rory, and I think that she deserves to work for it a little more than that.
On with the story…
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And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven... I wish you would
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Jess and Rory made their way to a nearby coffee shop, neither really saying anything on the way there, both lost in their own thoughts.
Jess paused in front of a place called The Mud House and asked, "Here okay?"
Rory gave him a small smile, "Sure, great, fine."
The two entered and were seated by a middle-aged woman who looked like she had seen better days. She gave them a knowing smile after they had placed their orders and left to give them their privacy.
"So…," Jess began, not really knowing what to ask.
"So…," Rory responded, not really knowing where to start.
"One of my favorite bookstores is near that place, you know, just in case you were wondering why I was there," Jess said, deciding that the best course of action was to explain himself rather than jump right in to questioning Rory.
"You mean Truncheon Books? I love that place!!" Rory exclaimed, "I'm surprised I didn't run into you there before. I go at least 2 or 3 times a week."
Jess nodded, "Yeah, I'm surprised, too. You would've thought…"
Both sat awkwardly in silence until Jess couldn't take it anymore.
"So, what happened back there?"
Rory laughed humorlessly, "I don't even know where to begin."
Jess smirked at her, "I hear the beginning is the best place to start."
"Seven years later, you're still a smart ass."
"Yes, well, such is the charm of me. Now, answer the question."
"I had a really bad night."
"How about we get to the part I haven't already deduced for myself?"
Rory looked taken aback, "When did you turn into such a pushy asshole?"
Jess sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, "Sorry, I just…I run into you on the street, it's obvious you're upset, you say you want to talk, I bring you here, you know I don't do the small talk thing very well, so just tell me, okay?"
"Well, I got home, and after breaking my heel and having to hobble 8 blocks to get home, Logan informs me when I walk through the door that there's a Huntzburger celebration for their newest newspaper conquer that we have to attend. I hurry to get ready for that, and from the time we walk in until the time I stormed out, it was just… 'a nightmare' doesn't even begin to describe it. First I'm forced to listen to how my role is to be 'arm candy' for Logan, and when I try to defend myself, his mother tries to blame it on my upbringing and 'what can you expect from a girl who was brought up by someone who was only a girl herself?' Then I went to find Logan, and he's talking to this complete jerk of a man who thinks that a woman's rightful place is barefoot and pregnant at home. I let him have a piece of my mind, and then I storm out into the hallway. Logan came and found me, then went back to say his good-byes, and while I'm waiting on him, I hear these two women talking about how my behavior is obviously that of 'the bastard child of a Hayden and a Gilmore' and 'how gorgeous Logan is looking these days' and 'how he's just like his father, willing to cheat and sleep with anyone'. Then Logan came back out, and it all just hit me. Everything that happened tonight isn't something that would've changed if we had gotten married. That's how that world is, and I hate it, Jess. I really hate that world!" Rory finally paused to take a breath in her story.
Jess sat back and took everything in that Rory had just said. He didn't respond for a few long minutes, until something seemed to click and realization hit him.
"What exactly do you mean 'if you had gotten married'?"
Rory took a deep breath, closed her eyes and let the breath out slowly. She dropped her eyes as she said, "Right before I got in the elevator, I told Logan that I wasn't happy and that I didn't want to be part of that world. I broke off our engagement."
Jess's jaw proceeded to drop open at her words.
"Wow, Rory…you…wow…"
Rory looked up and watched Jess looking very much like a fish, opening and closing his mouth every few seconds.
"Speechless?"
Jess let out a chuckle, "To say the least. You walked away from what I'm sure was going to be the Gilmore social event of a lifetime with a groom that they would've handpicked for you. Definitely took some guts. Not that I don't support what you did. I always thought you deserved better than that rich, prick bastard."
Rory shook her head sadly, "To be honest, I don't feel very gutsy right now. I feel…I don't know, exhausted? Emotionally spent? And, I guess starting tomorrow, I have to find a new apartment and pack all my stuff. And I'll probably have to deal with Logan because it's his apartment I'll be moving my stuff out of, and wow, I didn't actually think it was possible to be more tired than I already was, but thinking about all this stuff is making me future tired."
Jess gave her a small grin, "Take a breath, Rory. It's not the greatest thing to have to deal with, but at least you've already taken the biggest step. You'll figure something out, you always do…or, well, you always used to, anyway."
He reached across the table and put his hand on top of hers. Rory smiled back at him and his comforting gesture.
At that moment, the waitress came over with their order. She smiled at them and said, "Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but I was curious at how long the two of you have been together."
Both Jess and Rory looked up, wide-eyed, first at the waitress, then at each other, both resembling a deer caught in headlights.
Rory was the first to respond, "Oh, we're not…" followed very closely by Jess saying, "Yeah, we're not…I'm engaged, she…was…engaged," and Rory finishing up by saying, "My mom is engaged to his uncle…"
The waitress looked confused and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I just thought…well, you both just look like such a nice couple…really in love, you know? You don't see too much of that anymore these days. Oh, well, I guess I was wrong, then. Enjoy your coffee," and left the two with their orders.
Neither one had much to say after that, and they both finished their coffee quickly and walked back out in the cold. They seemed to be wandering somewhat aimlessly, when Jess began to laugh. It was such a foreign sound to Rory's ears, that at first, the sound startled her.
Once she realized what it was, she smiled, "What's so funny?"
"How awkward was that when the waitress thought we were together?" Jess let out in a burst of laughter.
It was contagious, and Rory found herself beginning to laugh as well, "I know! Geez, you would think that after 7 years and us being in completely separate relationships that it would be a little more obvious that we aren't together, right? I mean, it's not like we have feelings for each other anymore!"
Jess nodded noncommittally and just let the subject drop. After walking a few more blocks, he finally pointed out the obvious.
"Which way are you heading?"
"Oh, um,…well, it looks like I'm not too far away. I'll probably just catch a cab or something."
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather walk? I know it's cold, but sometimes the cold can help clear your mind."
Rory nodded and smiled, "Okay, then, I'll walk. Will you walk with me? After all, I might need someone to catch me if I have another crosswalk and heel debacle."
Jess managed a smile back, "Sure…I can do that."
Luckily, it turned out to only be a few blocks to Logan's -- Rory's soon to be former --apartment. When they arrived outside, Rory looked up at the penthouse, which appeared dark, closed her eyes and sighed deeply.
"Don't want to go in?" Jess asked knowingly.
Rory let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, "Not even a little bit. I'm so tired. I'm in no condition to deal with what happened tonight, and I know when I go up there, I'll have to."
Jess reached out to give her a hug and rubbed her back comfortingly.
"Hey…I know it's going to be hard at first, and I don't envy what you have to deal with when you get up there. But postponing it is only going to make it worse. At least it's a weekend, if you go up there and hash it out with him now, you can crash and sleep and rest for 2 more days."
Rory nodded and started to pull back from him. She looked down as she did and quietly said, "Yeah, you're right." She nodded even more and finally looked up to meet his eyes.
"Thanks, Jess. I really appreciate you listening and walking me home."
Jess gave her a half smile, "No problem. I couldn't very well let you walk home in the cold by yourself after the day and night you've had, now could I?"
Rory smiled, and the two seemed to be lost in each other's gaze momentarily.
After a few moments of silence, Jess spoke quietly, "By the way, you really do look beautiful tonight."
Rory smiled, and they both moved in infinitesimally closer to each other. Rory's eyes started to drift closed, and right before she expected to feel Jess' lips on hers, he pulled back.
"Rory, I can't do this," Jess took a step back from her, "Dammit!! This isn't supposed to happen again!!"
Rory quickly recovered from the surprise of almost kissing, then not kissing, Jess and his reaction. She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder as if calming an upset child.
"It's okay, Jess…"
Jess cut her off and turned and pointed at her, "No, it's not okay!!! This," he gestured between the two of them, "was not supposed to happen again!! I hurt you, I get that, and then you hurt me back. I was okay with it, I had moved on, I met someone else…geez… Sarah! I'm happy with Sarah!! I'm marrying Sarah in a month, a month, Rory!! And you! You just got out of being engaged tonight, for God's sake!!"
Unfortunately, neither one had noticed the car that pulled up in front of the building or the seemingly very drunk man who stumbled out of the car or the fact that he had heard Jess's entire rant.
"Rory!!" Logan slurred loudly as he tried to make his way to her.
Rory turned and finally noticed Logan standing there. She looked up at the sky and muttered, "Seriously? My day and night weren't bad enough already?"
By that time, Logan had reached Rory and was slurring all his words and speaking incoherently.
Rory managed to catch a few "left me…you left me" and "love you…want to marry you…fuck my parents"
She reached out to steady him and started speaking to him, her main concern being getting him upstairs without too much of a scene, "Okay, Logan, you're drunk right now. Why don't we go upstairs and you can sleep it off, okay? Doesn't that sound like a good plan?"
Logan seemed to sober just enough to speak clearly, "No!! You left me!! You don't want to be with me anymore!!"
Jess was still standing close by, and at that point, Logan looked up and focused on him.
"Hey!! I recognize you!! You're that author guy...the next Hemingway, right? I heard you saying something when I got out of the car! You were talking about you and Rory, weren't you? What wasn't supposed to happen again?!"
Logan started to make his way over to Jess, and Jess tried to keep his distance, not wanting to be the subject of drunken anger.
"Look, man, it was nothing. You're really drunk, so why don't you do what Rory said and just go upstairs, okay?"
Logan's slurred words had turned angry as he stepped even closer to Jess.
"What were you doing with my fiancée, huh?"
Rory tried to pull Logan back, "Logan, nothing happened. Jess is an old friend. You know that! Nothing happened, okay?"
Logan looked back and forth between Jess and Rory, "This is the reason you're leaving me, isn't it? You've been cheating on me with old Jack over here. No, no, I was blind at first, but now I see…isn't that how the song goes? Except there is no sweet sound…"
"Fine!" he spat at Rory, "You're nothing but a heartbreaker anyway!! Broke my heart, that's for damn sure!! I hope you and John will be very happy together!"
By this point, Rory'd had enough of drunk Logan and was quickly losing her patience.
"Jesus, Logan!! His name is Jess! J-E-S-S, okay? And I haven't cheated on you with anyone!! Now, let's just go upstairs, and we'll talk about this more tomorrow!"
Logan finally let himself be led to the door by Rory. Turning back to Jess, Rory mouthed the word, 'Later?'
Jess nodded and turned to find his way home, hoping to clear his own mind on the way there.
A/N: Reviews are love and inspiration and happiness...