I'm back!

All right, I'm absolutely sorry that I haven't updated in so many months! I can't believe this… I've probably lost my readers' interest along the way… (sighs) I suppose new readers could come, though…

I do believe my writing style has changed quite a bit, and I don't know how that's going to affect the story. But ah well! On with the story!

To refresh your memory, Dib has fainted due to the sickness patch that Gaz planted on him. That may not be as horrible as you might think, but he fainted right in Zim's lab! (giant gasp)

--

Zim was not very happy.

First of all, the second he got down to the lab, he found out that the headless penguin-squid thing he created had escaped from its container and was now slithering/waddling its way around the floor. After taking care of that with his AMAZINGNESS (e.g, running quickly after it while screaming idiotically until the computer, who got bored watching the Irken, shot it with a giant laser), Zim realized that the coop of chickens, while still in their cages, seemed to have turned a strange purple color and were sporting eyestalks out of their foreheads.

Whether that strange new factor would affect the experiments he planned to do on them, he didn't know, but he really did not care. Rather, when he discovered the new appearance of the chickens, he started proclaiming his greatness (something along the lines of, "IT IS I, ZIM, THE PURPLE-CHICKEN-MASTER!") and tried to get the chickens to bow down to him. However, when he proceeded to drop one in a tub of dangerous Earth water (one of the 'experiments'), the moment the water touched the chicken, its head exploded in a mass of blood and feathers and eyeballs.

Hee-hee. Headless purple Earth chicken. Well, that had been his initial reaction. Then, he came up with a plan to invade Earth using the purple chicken bombs.

Yes… chicken bombs.

His mood had uplifted quite a bit with that plan, but then Gir had come down spouting all that stupid STUPIDITY about him LURVING the Dib-thingy-creature-thing! And, while he tried to convey to the stupid robot that it was all for the plan, what irritated him even more was when a voice inside his head murmured, "Of course that was for the plan, but wasn't Dib cute when he was blushing?"

Blush. Something the alien was not aware he was doing, until Gir pointed it out with a gasp and a squeal. "You blushing, Master!"

"Grrrr…Gir, I told you, THAT WAS FOR THE PLAN TO CONFUSE THE DIB!!!" Zim glared dagger-like at the robot, but then, he heard an unmistakably Dib-bish voice.

"Ha! Zim, I--"

EHHH?!

Looking up quickly, Zim saw the very human he and Gir were just… "discussing."

But then the human slumped down as though shot by a laser gun. Purely by instinct, Zim put his hands up in a grand manner and declared, "HA! I, THE AMAZING ZIM, IS VICTORIOUS!" Gir, by his side, let out a happy squeal and started hopping up and down, cheering. "Yeah! Whoo-hoo!"

After about five seconds of Gir cheering and Zim smirking victoriously with his hands up, the alien realized that he and Dib had not just had a large, violent fight and that the Dib had just dropped down on the floor on his own. Putting down his hands slowly and his smirk disappearing, Zim turned to the SIR unit beside him. "Gir…"

Gir stopped cheering. "…Yes?"

"Gir… didn't I tell you not to let anyone in the house?"

The robot hung his head. "Aww… I SEE MONKEYS!" And off Gir went, giggling hysterically as he took off in pursuit of the "monkeys."

Sighing, Zim shook his head, very much frustrated. But then his crimson eyes fell on the still Dib, and a bit of anger flared. He stalked his way over to the human. His chest was faintly falling up and down, and from what Zim learned of humans, this meant that the "lungz" were working, and from what Zim knew of the human "lungz," when they were working, this probably meant that the human was breathing. And when something was breathing, it was usually alive.

But his eyes were closed, which could mean one of two things. Taking a deep breath, Zim shouted at Dib, "DIB-STINK! WAKE UP! YOU ARE DIRTYING UP MY FLOOR WITH THE STINK OF YOUR PATHETIC EARTH HUMAN-NESS!"

There was no stir. Zim frowned. So the human was not sleeping. He was… merely unconscious.

Dropping down on one knee, the Irken peered at the boy's face. Curiously, but rather hesitantly, he reached out and ran a claw down Dib's face, which was strangely flushed. He had never been this physically close to Dib before, and…

Abruptly, Zim jerked back as though burned. He was feeling very weird, indeed… especially as he stared at the way light pink played with Dib's cheeks, and the way his breath rose up from his small, delicate mouth…

The green Irken let out a horrified scream, backing away from the unconscious boy. "AH, NO! The Dib is succeeding in making my brain into MUSHY GOO! MUSHY GOO!!"

And in the background, in a sardonic voice that oddly sounded like it teetered on the edge of dry amusement, the computer remarked, "D'you want me to carry him up to the living room? Because right now, I don't think you're planning on killing him anytime soon."

--

Dib's POV

My eyes fluttered open. All I could see were bright fluorescent lights.

Oh, my. I believe I'm in a hospital. No… I don't believe it, I just know it. It's exactly like in movies and such: a character faints, wakes up, seeing white light, and finds himself dead or in a hospital bed with a doctor grinning frighteningly down at you.

Or, sometimes in my case, in a straitjacket with blank white walls staring at you.

But this was no hospital, I realized as my eyes came into focus. This was Zim's living room, as could plainly be seen by the creepy painting of the monkey that I could just barely see out of my peripheral vision.

And I was in a couch, not a hospital bed.

And, grinning shark-like at me, was not a doctor bedecked in a blindingly white coat, but a green Irken, whose large crimson eyes only widened further as I stared at him.

I think I'm going to die.

--

Gasp! I can't believe I actually finished that. I'm afraid it's as short as ever… but I'm working on the next chapter, which, I promise, I will not make you wait for, like this chapter.

I'm horrible… (sighs) I'm afraid I'm not very dedicated.