I'm a Nobody
By: Moony
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"Nobody is perfect. I'm a Nobody, therefore I am perfect." –unknown
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Roxas brings the tip of his gloved fingers over his forehead, brushing away the strands of strawberry blonde. His eyes glisten against the shadow of the leathery hood that is tucked over his head, resembling two smoldering embers against the pitch darkness that overshadowed his face.
Time pauses at his advantage. Before him a girl is frozen in time, and he has taken the opportunity to study her from his position leaning easily against a lamppost. He does this routinely, and yet at times his own actions puzzle him. He can not go a day without seeing her, ogling at her, observing from afar like some pathetic admirer. But he is rather curious than admiring—he will never admit himself to be an admirer; he will never tolerate the idea with any sort of emotion besides resentment.
The girl sparks something at the deepest recesses of his mind, a memory that pulses angrily, demanding freedom. The more he stares, the more easily his mind corresponds with the memory. It is most curious, for he knows that Nobodies do not harbor memories to begin with.
She has been running franticly, her satchel flailing around in one hand and a bland piece of overcooked toast upon the other.
Roxas has seen blue eyes before. He himself has eyes of similar coloration, but he has never seen eyes that seem to dance like the flow of the deep ocean. But it has been a long time since he has seen the ocean—or perhaps he is just imagining that he had?
Roxas is blonde. In fact several of the Organization's associates are blonde. But he has never seen a young woman whose hair is under the appearance of one whom has been kissed upon her head by the very sun itself, perfecting her pale stresses into a brilliant golden sheen that whisks up into a childish, albeit cute style of twin pigtailed buns. The manner of hairstyle seems so familiar, and yet all together not at all.
He hates her, this young blonde woman. She is completely inept in everything that she has ever done or attempted; clumsy and childish, temperamental and boisterous, with a self-esteem that might have well been none at all. She is everything a beautiful young woman shouldn't be, everything that little girl's aspire not to be.
But that is not why he hates her.
Hiding beneath the surface of the bungling impression the blonde conveys is something so much more beautiful, so much more alluring, and ever unforgettable. Underneath the veneer of ineptitude was someone pure, someone that beautiful women dream of being, that little girl's can never grow upto be. She is kind, loving, and utterly loyal. She is so raw with purity, so effortless in her ability to express love and kindness that they seem to emanate from her blue eyes like an ethereal shine.
No, he can never hate her because of what she is—for she is someone that can never be hated, someone that should forever be loved.
He hates her because she makes him feel. She gives him the painfully false hope of believing that he has a heart, and with it he is able to feel and think like any normal human being should. He hates her because she makes him yearn—yearn for humanity, for love…
For her.
She makes him dream. Before her, he never dreams. He does not allow himself to indulge in such false emotions, he does not pretend. He knows what he is, and he lives with the fact without regret. He has always lived without regret.
But that is before he discovers this enique slip of a girl. Now, he does not know anymore. Now, he feels emotion. He feels uncertainty, hatred, and affection, and they lunge at him in one chaotic leap. He wonders how human beings remain competent in handling such potent sensations, such immoral thoughts, and he hates and envies said creatures for being so capable of controlling the ability to do so. He hates himself for having that ineptitude.
He hates that he has fallen in love, fallen so deep even when he has never pesonally met the girl. Knowing that from that day on he will always remember her even as her world was slipping away like dust against the breeze, slowly being consumed into darkness.
He will always remember her.
"You've given me a heart, Tsukino Usagi..."
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Author's Note: Aw! Roxy-poo is in luuuv! XD This was suppose to be a chaptered fic, but i really couldn't think of anything else to write. The inspiration was lost to me. Anyway, if your still reading this, Roxas is a Nobody. No surprise there. I bet a lot of you've finished Kingdom Hearts II. But he's Sora's Nobody, and since Sora knows Serenity in my fic "The Hearts" Roxas thinks Usagi is familiar. Yup. Nuff said.
Thank you!
Sincerely,
Moo-chan