Bill was too upset to go near his wife, Cornelia didn't want Charlie within fifteen feet of Fleur for obvious reasons, Ron was out again, probably drinking more, and Percy was trying to play piano, but everything was off-key. Mum was making herself busy in the kitchen, so that left me to comfort the quarter-veela. After all, she stormed up to my room.
I stood outside my door, not wanting to go in. Nervously, I ran my fingers through my hair. It was one of Harry's idiosyncrasies that I picked up from being around him so much. Carefully, ready to be received by screaming, I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open.
" Fleur?" I poked my head through the door.
Thankfully, she was quietly sitting on my bed. "I feel so stupid. Je ne peux pas croire moi-même." She sniffled. It was the first time I realized that she lapsed back into her native tongue when upset. "I made such a fool of myself. I'm sorry." Her eyes and face were red but she had stopped crying for the most part. It almost felt surreal to sit down next to her in the tranquility of the summer twilight that was leaking in through the opened window after being surrounded by such chaos.
"Fleur, it's all right. They-they'll understand." I couldn't be sure of that, but it sounded like the right thing to say.
She smiled weakly at me. "I don't know what to do." She whispered. "I don't want to bring a child into the world if 'is father will be incapable of loving 'im."
I never pitied her so much before. "Hey, I mean…h-he'll get better." It was a pathetic comment that in no way could be classified as helpful or comforting, but I couldn't think of anything better to say. I couldn't shake the idea that I wasn't the right person to be giving her this talk and I felt uncomfortable. Evidently, she caught onto my uneasiness.
"I'm sorry." She apologized again as she started setting her already perfect hair back into place in an attempt to put herself together. "Zis izn't appropriate." She took a deep breath in and let it out in a sigh. "So, what's new with you?" Her voice was still thick from crying, and I couldn't help but chuckle at her effort to sound casual.
"Nothing much." I lied as I stared out the window.
"I'm sure zat's not true, considering your family." She smiled.
"Good point."
Silence stretched between us before I finally figured out what to say that I had been neglecting since entering the room.
"Congratulations. When are you due?"
Fleur chuckled. "Thanks. April 3."
"That's great." I couldn't help but smile at the prospect of a new baby.
Fleur didn't respond and I couldn't help but take it to mean that she disagreed.
"Listen." She finally said after a pause. "Do you mind if I stay 'ere a bit? I don't vant to face everybody…yet."
"I know the feeling." I took a deep breath. "Take as long as you need."
"Thank you."
Several minutes passed with no sound piercing the atmosphere except her occasional sniffling.
"Ginny, I know it iz a bit of a…sensitive topic, but…'ow is George?"
That was the last thing I could have hoped for her to ask. "He's…the same. I haven't seen him since the funeral." The very thought of George and the word 'funeral' sent a fresh stab into my chest, ripping right through the band-aid I'd worked so hard to glue over my heart.
Fleur just nodded and sniffed again.
After several moments in which the very atmosphere seemed to be frozen in time, I grabbed my book and started looking for the spot I'd left off at. What can I say? I couldn't think of anything else to break the tension.
"This is so…'ow do you say it…surreal." Fleur said just as I located the last sentence I'd read. "I've always thought that announcing my pregnancy would be 'appy." She chuckled in spite of herself before getting up and walking over to my window. It was dark by that point, and Fleur pressed her forehead against the cool glass and watched as her breath made a circle of fog below her nose. I watched as she drew random, indistinguishable shapes into the mist with her fingertip, too entranced by the stark, velvety night on the other side of the glass to return to my book.
"Do you think 'e will ever be 'imself again?" She asked the black sky softly.
"Yes." I was surprised at the conviction in my own voice and couldn't help but wonder who I was trying to convince more; Fleur or myself.
-
"Fleur?" Mum's head poked through the door several minutes later. When she saw that we weren't engaged in serious conversation, she allowed herself in, squealing as she pulled her daughter-in-law into a tight hug. "Oh, congratulations! When are you due?"
Obviously, mum chose the road of ignoring Fleur's qualms over her pregnancy.
"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley." She said in barely-audible voice. For some reason, I was overcome with sadness at that moment and wanted very badly to leave my room, but couldn't think of a good excuse for doing so.
"I'm due April 3."
"Oh, how wonderful! Arthur's forty-fifth birthday is on the tenth; it will be a month to celebrate!" She exclaimed in a high-pitched tone. "Come downstairs, darling. Everybody can't wait to congratulate you."
Somehow, I found that difficult to believe. Apparently, so did Fleur.
"Er…in several minutes, Mrs. Weasley. I need a moment."
"Oh, of course, dear!" She kissed both of Fleur's cheeks before rushing out of the room. Part of me didn't want to see her go just because I felt uneasy being alone with her again.
Fleur turned away from the window and leaned up against the sill, staring at the floor, an expression of grief on her face. She quietly sighed and left the room, a cold, resigned expression on her face.
When she was gone and the door clicked softly behind her, I glanced around my room, taking in the emptiness of the space as though not yet ready to acknowledge that I'm finally alone again.
I had read twenty full pages of my book before hearing another soft knock on my door.
"Come in." I called, all at once tired from the long day, slightly exasperated, and hopeful that it would be somebody I could deal with.
As luck would have it, Bill entered the room.
"Gin?" His voice was nearly hoarse.
"Yes?" I tried to sound understanding, but couldn't help but think that my exhaustion – and my fear of my own brother – came through in my tone.
"Gin, is Fleur mad at me?" He came into my room but lingered by the door, evidently ashamed of himself.
"She's just…" I didn't know what exact adjective would appease him, so I ended up saying what I really thought. "scared."
Bill sighed and dropped down into the nearest chair as though about to collapse.
"I – I can't really say anything in my own defense."
Since when was I the person everybody came to with their problems?
"Just…I didn't mean for it to happen. A-and at first I tried to pretend like nothing was wrong but…" He shrugged.
I didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry." Even as I said it I knew it wouldn't help anything.
I didn't think it would turn out like this I mean, I don't…" He sighed as though it was causing him pain to say this. "I don't want this kid." He said it so quietly I almost didn't hear it. In fact, I would have been very happy not to have heard it, because his confirmation of something I already had a feeling about sent something cold plunging through my chest. I felt a huge rush of pity for the not-yet-formed baby somewhere in Fleur's stomach.
"Oh."
Bill looked around a bit awkwardly before finally getting up and clearing his throat. "I'm sorry about that." He then quickly left the room.
As soon as he was gone, I collapsed down onto my bed. Why? Why did everybody want to confide in me? Why did mum have to be so happy that nobody could trust her anymore? I wanted to get away from my family before somebody else would come in to pour their heart out to me. I wanted to punch something out of rage. I hated all the sudden responsibility. And then, of course, a knock came at my door.
"What?" I said bitterly.
The door opened slowly, cautiously, and then:
"Harry! Oh my god." I couldn't help the enthusiastic greeting as I was flooded with joy at the sight of those bright green eyes. As quickly as possible I rushed over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, squeezing him close enough to smell the laundry detergent on his shirt. There was possibly nothing more comforting right then than the feeling of his arms around me, the feeling of ultimate safety in a universe about to shatter.
"What? Did I miss something?" He asked, surprised at my excitement.
I just sighed and muttered "yes" quietly into his shoulder.
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Okay, guys, that's chapter 4. Hope you liked it. Please review (please!) because the reviews make me feel like it's worth posting this stuff because somebody actually reads it.