Author's note: Hey sorry for not updating in quite a while...I meant to, but with school getting started and stuff, I was really extremely busy. But trust me, I am NOT one to let something go unfinished. This story will be completed one day, you just have to bare with me and understand I am human (or at least I think I am :P) and I will get sidetracked. But don't worry, your reviews keep me going, and whether it's one or ten I don't mind, I'm just happy someone cares. By the way I plan to respond to reviews from now on. (That will be at the bottom.) Now as always...thoughts are italicized and in bold (except when there is a telepathic discussion, the main character at that moment will be the only one with their thoughts in bold, this way it'll make the discussion clearer- let me know if this helps or not). If ya'll have any comments or thoughts on ideas for this story or any other you want me to write just let me know! I'll gladly take it into consideration. Feel free to e-mail me too. Either than that I just want to say thanks for the responses I got on the question I had about Remy's name. I have some ideas...but we'll just have to wait and see which one I use. Also it seems that a lot of ya'll out there like the Rogue and Remy pair so I'm going to keep it that way, however if you are really into the Storm and Remy pair (or any other pair) e-mail me and I will probably be glad to write another story using that context. Well then see ya'll in chapter four...

Disclaimer's notice: none of these characters belong to me (cause then I'd be rich) they belong to marvel, etc. However the story line is mine.

To Feel Is Divine

By: Dark Elf

The view outside the window was more than inviting. It was an exquisite temptation that Jean Grey could barely resist from resting her eyes on. It was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, and most importantly no problems on the horizon. The sun showered light onto the world outside, reflecting off ponds and softly glistening on the fresh green leaves that the trees had once more come to bare. The world seemed to be in perfect harmony and Jean could only count the minutes when the school bell would release her for the rest of the afternoon. Then she could go out and be free with the sun kissed earth below.

Jean calmly rested her head on her hand. She was beginning to drift off, the teacher's voice becoming a slight monotonous hum in the background. Glancing at the clock she saw that there were only a few minutes left of her math class. Seeing as she really was not going to be learning anything new in the next couple of minutes, Jean decided to use the time left in her math class to arrange her daily schedule. She slowly reached for her purse and pulled out a small daily planner. It was a soft shade of pink scattered with pale flowers of different colors around the border. Jean let out an inward chuckle. It was a bit silly for a telepath to have a calendar book to remind herself of her plans. She obviously had an extremely good memory and never forgot anything. She was always on time for all of her appointments and even made a point to show up early at times. In truth it did see, like a waste of paper to write out everything she had to do, but it helped pass the time, giving her something to do.

After a short while Jean stopped. She had finished updating her schedule and everything seemed to be in perfect order for the next three weeks. She looked over her small neat notes once more and finally satisfied that she had not left anything out Jean closed the unique booklet. Languidly twirling her matching pink fuzzy pen around her long slender fingers, Jean sighed. There seemed to be nothing much more to do but sit and quietly await the close of the day. She let out a small frown as she saw a girl eyeing her coldly. There was nothing wrong with being organized or neat Jean thought. She really couldn't understand why some people thought she was too 'perfect', that was a quality that other girls shouldn't despise or even be jealous of. Well, she knew Rogue had an evident problem with her, but she could not figure out why.

I am most definitely not some princess.

Jean couldn't help but continue to contemplate what she could have possibly done to deserve Rogue's anger and spite. Everything she did had a good intent behind it and she never hurt anyone on purposely. She could not understand the least but why anyone would hate her. It was true that when she went out of her way to be kind, her peers might feel annoyed, as if she was handing out charity, but still. What seemed like 'charity' should not cause anyone to be upset with her, rather, in a way, she expected some form of thanks or gratification in return for her being so compassionate.

Jean did not believe herself to be conceited but she did think that it would be pleasant if once in a while someone, like Rogue, could see that it wasn't easy to be cordial all the time. Hell, it would be even nicer if they would ever return the favor. People like Rogue should be ecstatic if someone like her even bothered to notice her. Other girls would die to be Jean's friend; it just didn't make any sense why Rogue just had to shun everyone and everything.

Yes she did know about Rogue's so called 'problem' with her mutation, but didn't everyone have problems? It wasn't like life was fair all of the time and the sooner Rogue figured that out, the better. Jean guessed it must be horrible to be unable to touch anyone but she would think Rogue would know better and try to make friends instead of completely alienating herself of any human contact. Wouldn't it be more useful to at least be able to talk to someone then to be alone? Jean knew that if that were her, she would rather try to get as close to someone as she could even with such a harsh inhibiting mutation. There was really no point in secluding yourself more than you already were.

Of course Jean knew that things were not as simple as that, but why couldn't they be? Even for her life was not a Sunday picnic. It was hard to be her too. She had to be nice to everyone and slave over all of her decisions and choices to make sure that nothing ruined her status at school. On top of that she had to keep up with the stupid Brotherhood members and their dumb antics at the same time. Everyday was definitely not a pleasant walk in the park. She also had to hide her mutant gift and control it. Jean always had to remember her morals and avoid the enticement to invade other people's private thoughts. Just as there were good thoughts there were nasty or mean ones, and Jean didn't enjoy 'hearing' the mean ones. She would love to boost her ego on the 'happy' thoughts of the people around her, but she was not one to take a gamble and become severely depressed after listening to any 'bad' thoughts. It was always a risk, you never knew what a person what thinking unless you 'went in', and then it was too late to ignore it. Hearing the thoughts of the guys who fawned over her usually made up for the angry and resentful thoughts that crossed her path now and then. But it was highschool and there tended to be jealous people around. Jean grinned.

Who wouldn't be jealous of me?

She did seem to have a great life, aside from being a mutant. She knew that she shouldn't worry over such trivial people and their thoughts, but all in all it did bother her sometimes. Jean would then continue to wonder why some people could not seem to agree with her. Why some people, like little miss gothic Rogue, didn't think she was a great girl. Why some people had to be extremely rude and actually think they had a reason to dislike her. Just because she was very close to perfect should not give anyone cause to be envious of her, rather they should praise her. Jean smiled at that thought, that would be fun. She could already easily picture people like Scott bringing gifts and alms to her, and even building temples to her image. Too bad that she wasn't born in ancient Greece, when gods and goddesses were respected because of their super human abilities. Jean was sure she would have been a goddess that everyone would love. She frowned again.

Well, everyone but Rogue probably. Some people just...

~Ring Ring Ring~

The bell to sound out the close of the day went off. Its shrill scream pierced itself through everyone's ear, seeming like a blessing to anyone who heard the small high pitched sound. Sluggishly coming out of her daze, Jean dropped her book back into her purse. She gave a last glance out of the window knowing that she herself would be out there soon too. She stretched and laughter danced in her eyes.

What would people think of me if they heard my thoughts?

Giving a toss to her red silky hair she arose from her wooden desk and walked to the door. Jean quickly surveyed the gathering crowds of students in the hallway with a quick sweep of her eyes. The constant psychic buzz of people's minds was comforting in a way. Though she couldn't 'hear' what they were thinking, without going into their heads, she enjoyed being able to feel their presence all around her. Giving one last thought to Rogue she again concluded that being alone was asinine.

Jean waved down the hall at Scott and Kitty. Kitty immediately waved back, and pulling a reluctant looking Scott behind her, quickly barged through the flocking students. Jean smirked slightly, she was right all along; people like little Shadow Cat there did love her. They wished they could be her, and rightly so.

I am perfect aren't I?

Jean gave a diminutive shake to her head. She was never ordinarily this distracted. More specifically she customarily never spent such a vast amount of time thinking about herself so much. It was peculiar, but nothing attracted her attention at what could be causing it.

"Plus", Jean consoled herself, "There is nothing wrong with liking who you are."

* * *

He watched her from a seclude corner next to a locker. She hadn't noticed him yet and he planned to keep it that way. He could tell that she was a bit confused, however, she seemed to dismiss it as nothing of importance. Remy grinned his devil smile. Every time he used his 'charm' powers on someone it just seemed to make him stronger for the next time. He had been a little wary about trying to mentally sidetrack a telepath, but now that he knew his powers where this far developed, he wasn't going to stop. Of course if it had been a normal human he was planning to steal from, he'd have no need for charming them. Jean Grey was different though, and he knew that if he got caught now, it would all be ruined. All his plans had already changed and he most definitely could not go and alter them once more. He didn't fear her reading his mind, his natural mental barriers took care of that, but then she'd go and tell the others of a lurking danger and they would be on guard.

He knew what she was thinking about. He had looked into her soul and brought it out. There really were no tricks to his 'charm' power. Usually what he chose to bring out in a person was already there. Remy would simply amplify it; blow on and give life to the small dormant spark. He could 'feel' her confusion and ecstasy as she viewed herself through complacent eyes. He gave her another little dose of this rapturous feeling, keeping her from being receptive to his menacing presence. She was beautiful though, that's why he had felt no discomfort in bringing out the feeling he had in her. Her red hair was captivating, and the way it flowed down the length of her full figured body was enticing to almost every male around. The small sway of her hips was tantalizing and the soft delicate skin of her arms was enough to make anyone look twice. He could feel the hormone levels rise and fall all around him, he could feel the hatred and the love, and for a moment he wished he could immerse himself in them. The throbbing of the student's hearts as they walked echoed silently in his veins, in his soul. He could almost touch the stench of 'feelings' that came off the people around him, it was hard to describe but in a way he could feel the mustiness of all the wild emotions running rampant through the air. It was everywhere, it forced itself into every corner, drenching the space around him, clogging every pore. No matter how hard he pushed it away it just came back, encircling him, luring him into its endless circle. He wanted to simply lose himself in the innocent feelings and dreams of the high school students around him. Dreams that were still youthful, dreams that didn't haunt you at night.

Remy shook his head. Now he was letting himself get sidetracked. He reminded himself over and over that he had given that life up long ago. Just because he was devoid of feeling did not mean he should let himself become lost in those that belonged to others. It was dangerous but worst of all, it was more lonesome than the way he was now. If he ever lost control, he would hurt himself and the innocent people around him.

Yo' not'in but ah fool Remy. All dose other people who y' hurt, willin'ly, dey were innocent too. Dey needed no mo' f'giveness den y' did...but y' didn' care did y' Remy? Den why do y' pretend t' give a damn now?

Remy reprimanded himself every time he let himself think about the sadness and pain he felt. He didn't deserve his own pity...he shouldn't even try to comfort himself with false words. The truth was, and always had been, that he was just simply looking out for himself. His subconscious knew it, and he did too. He didn't care if he hurt others, he just didn't want to hurt himself.

The feelings and emotions that pervaded the people around him had at one point been comforting, but when he lost control it was like being drowned in a heavy torment of water. He would try to rise up for air, that pure air devoid of anything, the air that let him breathe and feel free for a second. And then when he was finally reintroduced into the air, the air that he had longed for, it would chill his bones and dry his soul. He would crave for the flood of emotions around him, all the while knowing it was better to stay away. He knew this from experience, he had learned that once you became aware that what you were feeling wasn't real, wasn't yours, it became a much lonelier place. Lonelier than not feeling at all. When he realized that the people around him could feel love, joy, anger, and even sadness, he also painful remembered that he couldn't...because if he did, it would be hell.

His life hadn't been perfect, and he knew that the minute he let himself feel, remember, he would break down. He had detached himself from everyone and everything because the only way for him to survive was to be alone. And god how he wanted to live, even if it meant living without the feelings that made people human. Some might argue that without feeling you were not truly living, but he always said that it was better to at least be able to view the feelings around you, to know they were there, even if they were out of reach. It was like being in an infinite dark tunnel but being soothed by the light that you saw at the end, even if you knew you would never reach it. Although it was torturous it was so much better to be able to see the colors of feelings around him, even if he knew he would never be allowed to experience them the way they should be. Of course it wasn't as if he couldn't feel, he could, but the only feelings left to him after everything he had done where very much like his soul; torn, ragged, and beaten. There was no point for him to try and feel anymore, to care. Remy knew that in his situation, with his work, it was better to ignore what was inside you and concentrate on what was outside. If he had concerned himself about his past, if he had brooded over it constantly, he would have been dead by now. Even though to some people that may not have seemed like a bad alternative, he had been born with a natural will to fight and survive, even if it meant deserting the last thing that was his. So in order to be able to continue to live he had chosen the air, he had consciously abandoned all the drops of replenishing water around him, because for him, no matter how beautiful it looked, he new that the water was poisonous.

* * *

The institute was warm and comforting. Love and understanding filled the small mansion, making it a home for all who needed one. In the distance the sounds of laughter and cheers of children reverberated off the walls. The wall around the living room caught the sound of their play and softly muffled it. The fire crackled voluptuously on the wooden logs in the brick fireplace, even though there was no need for heat. Though the room was a little stuffy the current inhabitant didn't seem to mind. He was lost in his thoughts, ignoring the world around him.

Logan paced the room with loud down trodden steps. He was thinking again, about her. Rogue. Why had she seemed so angry the other day? He couldn't figure out what was wrong, and all he wanted to do was comfort her. She seemed so lost. Like he had been. Like he still was. If only she would just talk to him.

I know the feeling my friend.

Wolverine raised his head. With no show of surprise he viewed Charles Xavier as he entered the room.

" I just wish she'd open up to us Chuck. We don't even know her name. What kind of life is that?"

"It's hers Logan. Though I don't agree with how she treats herself and others, she just needs time. I just hope it doesn't take her too long to realize how much she means to us. I finally came to the conclusion that there is no possibility of her controlling her powers unless she emotionally calms down."

"She's just a child. I seem to forget that sometimes. The way she's so quiet and calculating, it's not how a teenager should spend her time. She's so lonely, maybe we should encourage the other kids to hang out with her some times, maybe wheedle her out of her room for a while. I just hope her time here will be better served then mine was in trying to sort out my problems. I still have no idea about my past Charles, what all the images mean."

Charles sighed. A tired look crossed his face and he rested his hand on his wheel chair.

"I know Logan, I know. But you of all people know that progress comes only when the person is willing to help it come. I don't think she's ready; at least not yet. Just promise me one thing Wolverine, don't become too attached to her."

A dark looked crossed Wolverine's face at the implication. He knew that his past was not settled, he clearly remembered how he almost hurt Kurt and Kitty that one time when he had gone in search of answers. Charles was right, but Rogue was like the daughter he never had.

"Don't worry Chuck. You know I'd never let anything hurt her."

"It's not that, that I'm worried about."

Charles slowly made his way out the door. He glanced back at Logan who was extending his metal claws in and out.

I don't want Rogue to hurt you.

* * *

Jean glanced around the hallway as she made her way to Scott and Kitty, something was off, and she sensed it. She quickly walked by a set of lockers, ignoring her feelings, her friends were waiting.

* * *

A hand slowly slipped in and out of a pink purse. Clutching a flowery planner, the hand retreated into the darkness by the lockers. Remy smirked. It was all too easy.

* * *

Author's Note: So I wasn't sure if I made Logan too paternal. If you think that attitude is too different from him, we'll just call it a one-time thing. Don't worry he'll be acting normally for the rest of the story. (Just wanting to get you an idea of he feels about Rogue...that way it won't come as any surprise how he first feels when he meets Remy J ) Now on to the reviews...

Review Responses:

^^chunsah: Thanx for the review! And in truth * looks around * I don't know how it will turn out! Hee hee...

ShojoAngel: I'm glad you like it, but no worries, I don't follow trends. And I will finish this story. J

Lynn: I'm glad you liked Gambit. (I really hoped I was keeping him in character.) I totally understand, you're not the only one. Sometimes I don't know if Rogue deserves Gambit. But I am trying to stick to the comics/tv show as closely as possible. Maybe I'll write an Ororo/Remy pairing one day.

Kelly: thanx for the kind words. I've been trying to keep Gambit's character and history like it should be. Yah know with all those charming flaws...J

Wildcard00: thanx for responding to my question bout Remy's name. Keep readin' and you'll find out what I'll use whenever we get to know our Cajun better.

Trepidatio: thanx for the info 'bout Remy's speculated names. It's just what I was looking for. However, I'm not gonna say which one I'm gonna use. You'll just have to wait! J

Ice Angel: I'm glad you're interested in the story J it makes me soo happy. Well this was the next chapter. I hope I don't keeping ya'll waiting as long for the next one.

bluefirez: I'm sorry I didn't update sooner. But allswell. I'm so glad you enjoyed my story. I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. J