Disclaimer: I have never, do not, and probably will never own POTC. 'My' characters are the crazy ones, but Will's kind of becoming crazy, too, so... ANYWAY- I want to thank all of my reveiwers. I seriously doubted anyone would like this. This might not be my best chapter, but hang in there; the next one hsould be good.

Abigail, Rose, Will, Jack, and Gibbs stood before a line of pirates. "Feast your eyes, Captain. All of them, faithful men before the mast, each worth his salt. And crazy to boot!"

"But not as crazy as us!" Rose chimed in.

"Speak for yourself. I'm perfectly sane!" Abigail said.

Rose's eyes widened, Will looked as if he were about to throw-up, and Jack was too busy looking over the crew to notice.

FLASHBACK

"WHY?!?!" Abigail screamed, clenching her D+ math test.

The girl dropped to her knees on the floor of their high school auditorium. "Why? Why me? KARMA, WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME?" Abigail screamed. "Whhy?! I hate the Renaissance! What was wrong with those Muslim scientists? Curse you algebra!"

END OF FLASHBACK

"No,"

"This is your able-bodied crew?" Will asked uncertainly.

"Hey, where's Chuck Norris then?" Abigail asked.

"Who?" Will asked.

"Chuck Norris, the world's strongest guy. He isn't the hottest guy, though. Do you know who that is, Willy-kins?" Abigail asked, batting her eyelids.

"I don't think I want to know," Will muttered.

Everyone turned their attention to Jack, who'd just finished with speaking with Mr. Cotton's parrot. Next he turned to another pirate, and Abigail's eyes became as wide as cupcakes. Uh oh…she thought. This is where Jack gets slapped by Anamaria!

"Anamaria," Jack said.

Anamaria slapped him across the face, and Rose screamed. "You get away from my Jackie you…

"CENSORED!" Abigail screamed.

"You need to go and take your-"

"CENSORED!"

"-and stick it up your-"

"CENSORED!"

Abigail clamped her hand over Rose's mouth. "Shut-up! I hate having to scream 'censored' every time your mouth opens!"

"Sorry," Rose muttered, muffled by Abigail's hand.

Rose grabbed Jack's hand and said, "My Jackie-kins! Take Will instead!"

"Hey! Stay away from my fiancé!"

"WHAT!?!" Will screamed. "I am NOT marrying you! You're mad!"

"Which is exactly why I'm coming on this voyage, sweetheart. I bet you'd look good in blue."

Will's eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted- right there in front of everyone. "Oh, I already picked out the flowers! I got on the internet on my cell phone and ordered them!"

"You don't want to marry him," Rose said.

Will gasped as Jack grabbed a pail, filled it with water, and dumped it over his head. "That was cold!"

"Why don't I want to marry him?" Abigail asked in confusion.

"Beepp…" Rose said grinning.

"STOP BEEPING AT ME!" Will screamed, jumping to his feet.

The girls burst out laughing. "What is it?" Will asked helplessly. "This isn't funny! Be quiet, you-"

Rose stared open mouthed, and Abigail reached to cover her friend's ears. "Willy-kins! Don't use such foul language!"

"Aye, watch yer mouth, boy. That talk isn't meant to be heard by young lasses," Jack said.

"B-but they started it! You're a pirate! Don't tell me you never curse!"

"Not in public, lad!" Jack said.

The pirate glanced around at the line of bewildered pirates and said, "Well, go, go. Why're we waitin' here?"

ILOVEJACKILOVEJACKILOVEJACK

Abigail wrapped a rope around herself, her hair blowing in her face while Rose's flew in her mouth, preventing her from talking save for a few mumbled words before she had to spit it out of her mouth (Will personally wished that Abigail's hair were longer, so she wouldn't be able to talk, either). "How can we sail to an island nobody can find with a compass that doesn't point north?" Will yelled over the storm.

"What, Willy-kins? Do you need me?"

"NO!" he screamed.

Gibbs chuckled. "Lovers' quarrels," he said.

"What? She is NOT my lover!"

"What, Willy? I love you, too!"

"Now," Gibbs said. "We aren't trying to find north, are we?"

Looking up to Jack, Gibbs said, "We should drop canvas, sir!"

"She can hold a bit longer."

"What's put you in such a good mood, Captain?"

"Abigail falling into the ocean and drowning would put me in a good mood," Will muttered darkly.

"I heard my name! I love you, too, Will!"

"We're catching up," Jack said grinning.

"Yah!" Rose yelled. She paused, angrily holding her hair against the side of her head. "Then, Jackie and I can be together forever!"

"And me and Willy-kins!"

"Why me?" Will muttered.

"Oh no! My baby-waby is going emo!"

"I am NOT- whatever you just said," Will said.

ILOVEJACKILOVEJACKILOVEJACK

Will glanced at Jack. "How did Jack come by that compass?" he asked.

"Why, dearest willy-kins, not much is known of Jack Sparrow before he arrived in Tortuga, sweetie."

"Aye, that was before I met him when he was captain of the Black Pearl," Gibbs added.

"He failed to mention that," Will said suspiciously.

"Hey! That. Is. Jack's. Personal. Life! Keep your nose in your own business!" Rose yelled.

"Hey, leave my Willy-baby alone!" Abigail yelled back.

"I am NOT your baby!" Will said in disgust. "I'm almost old enough to be your father!"

"At least I don't have to beep when Jack moves!" Rose yelled. "BEEEEEEPPP!"

"Why is she beeping at me?" Will screamed.

"Uh…aye, Jack told me to tell ye…"

Will's eyes widened as Gibbs explained all about the eunuch detector to him. "Wha-WHAT! I am NOT!" Will screamed. "JACK! You knew about this!?!"

Jack shrugged. "They're girls. I guess they'd know more than I would…"

"What? Why didn't you TELL me? These two are MAD!"

"Look who's talking!" Rose yelled.

"Hey, sea turtles!" Jack said, leaning over the ship to avoid a tube of mascara aimed at Abigail's head that missed.

"Make-up fight!" Rose screamed. "Get Will!"

"CHARGE!" Abigail screamed.

Will screamed ( a noise sounding remarkably like a girl…) and ran with two girls carrying purses and armed with their assortment of make-up. Jack watched, taking a swig of rum. "Good kids. Lots of energy," Jack said. "I like 'em."

PREVIEW

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rose screamed. "My Motorolla!"

The girl's eyes blazed with fury. "Run, Willy-kins, run!" Abigail screamed.

"Uh...why?"

"Because she's about to kill anything in sight."

I love you all! Please review, and thanks to those who have!