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2. Lost Bets
The day started nice. Sun was shining and there were little clouds in the sky. Forks showed up from his most bearable side. Edward had left a short time before sunrise, something mumbling about car tuning with Rosalie more to himself than to me. I was glad I had some time alone for preparing myself to call Renée.
I went downstairs to the kitchen. Charlie sat at the table, smiling at me. "Morning, Bells." "Morning, Dad." I was grabbing a bowl from the cupboard, filling it with milk and cerealia. Charlie waited for me to say something, but I saw no need to discuss my already decided plans. So I sat down at the table silently and started to eat. Charlie looked at me. His eyes were searching for a sign of weakness at my face. He couldn't find what he was searching for. I was so sure of my decision. It was the right one. The only one that opened the gate to the way I desired to go.
"Billy called this morning again. Jacob wasn't coming home this night. His friends told Billy, it'll take time until he will show up again. Billy is worry about Jacob," Charlie reported. I looked at his face. "He has known about the wedding for several days. My decision in favor of Edward hurts him so much….." My voice broke off. I swallowed hard. My throat hurt. I pushed my breakfast away. "I love Edward. I can't life without him. What should I had done, Dad?" I felt tears rising. Charlie was silent, glancing pitifully at me. "Honey, you are quite sure of your decision, aren't you? You love that Cullen boy really although he had hurt you so much. I think there aren't many possibilities. But a wedding is a big think. You'll have responsibilities," Charlie tried to shake up me. But I was already awake. "Dad, you'll have also responsibilities, if you love somebody so much. I've responsibilities for Jake, too. That was never the point." "You thought about this quite well, honey. So I hope you will be happy with this decision. But don't forget about Jacob. Also a wife can have friends", he smiled at me. I nodded, wondering if I would be the first vampire who would support a deep friendship with a werewolf. For any reason I doubted it.
"What are you going to do today, Bella?" Charlie directed the conversation to another topic, I thought. "Doing the laundry, going to the grocery and maybe I'm going to visit the Cullen's house."
"What about Renée," Charlie suddenly asked.
"Have you already told her about your wedding?"
"No," I admitted. "That's a special point for today. I'll call her in about an hour. You know, they've rescheduling in Jacksonville," I advised Charlie.
"That's a good think, Bella. A mother has to know that her only daughter is getting married."
For a short moment there was silence. Then Charlie said, "I'm going to visit Billy this evening. He needs some support after the thing with Jacob. Do you want to accompany me?"
I hesitated. How much I wished I could see Jake, my friend, my sun. How much I wished to feel his warm hands on mine. But I would hurt him again. He wouldn't be able to forget about the fact I was going to married one of his naturally enemies in a few weeks and finally got transformed into one of them. He wouldn't be able to forget about this even for a very short moment.
I shook my head. "No, not today, Dad. I think the time isn't right. Maybe next week," I whispered, lying to Charlie and to me.
After calling Renée I tidied up my room and did the laundry. Like I had expected she was quiet shocked for the first moment. Then her enthusiasm got the upper hand. If there wasn't Alice, my private wedding planer, Renée would have done the whole organization - after that call, I was pretty sure of it. She pestered me with questions about details I had no idea because Alice was managing the whole production. At the end of our conversation she fought back her tears and was looking forward the wedding. Phil should have been recovered from his accident until August thirteenth. So both would come to Forks for the celebration. I was glad, I had acquired all this. So now there wasn't a need to talk about the wedding anymore and I tried to avoid the whole topic. Charlie had already left for work and Edward wouldn't show up until the late afternoon. Thus I plumped for making a trip to the grocery. I proposed to buy some food for the next days. Charlie was going to have dinner in La Push today. So I decided against cooking this evening.
I parked my truck in front of the grocery. The sun glared at me. I went to the entry and looked around. Inside the store I saw Mrs. Newton, Mike's mom. I wondered if I would be able to sneak past her without having a conversation. Alice has already sent out the wedding invitations and I thought Mike had gotten one. But I suspected the more I tried to be invisible the more I was able to fall down in front of her feet. My clumsiness was a curse. So I went straight on to her and tried to have a small talk, avoiding the wedding theme. "Hi, Mrs. Newton, nice to meet you," I said friendly. "Oh, good afternoon, Bella," she said when she caught sight of me. "How is Mike? I haven't seen him since graduation." I admitted casually. "He's fine. He prepares for college like the most of you," she reported. "And what about your store?" "We had a ton of business in the last time." She looked at me curiously. "If you like, Bella, you may help us again at Newton's for the next weeks until you'll leave for college." Mrs. Newton suggested. I thought about it a minute. Maybe the break was too long. Then she said, "Oh sure, you are going to get married to the youngest son of Dr. Cullen. Sorry, I forget about it. Mike told me. Congratulations, Bella," she smiled at me. "How was his name?" She asked, looking at the ring on my left hand. "Edward," I answered, suspecting to know how the conversation will end up. "Are you going to attend college nevertheless?" She demanded with inquisitive eyes on me. And there was it, the reason for I hated this whole wedding theme. I wasn't that girl and I would that never be. I swallowed hard, near the tears of horror and anger. "Yes, of course, I'm going to attend college. Both of us will attend college. Our marriage doesn't form an obstacle for a normal life," I gazed at her without understanding. Indeed, Edward's and my life would never be as normal as the life of two average humans. But it would never crop up like this, too. "Sure," she replied surprised. "So, are you willing to work this Saturday for Newton's?" She asked, doubting it. "Naturally," I returned smugly with a harsh tone in my voice. "Fine, then I'm going to see you on Saturday," she said, happy to take an advantage of our conversation.
Crap, I thought. Working in the last few weeks before my wedding wasn't really my intention. Although Alice managed the whole arrangements, there were some affairs I had to do on my own. But for not seeming to be that girl, I would do anything. I also would go in for extensive sports.
I would only be that girl - one time in my life - and that would be on my wedding day while I would try to talk at myself I would be fifteen years older at least. All other thoughts would make me run away.
I hasted to get my stuff in the grocery, paid it and rushed for my truck. There were lots of clouds in the sky now. It looked like rain. I started the engine and drove back to Charlie's house. My mind was still full of anger and embarrassment. I had known that would come. But I wasn't able to handle this. And that made me even angrier.
The roads showed up pretty empty. For one short moment I thought about driving to La Push. I would find somebody of the pack who could tell Jake I was there. I felt quite comfortable about that thought of being near by Jake. This was very selfish and I knew it. There were pain, anger and unease inside me. I needed my sun to relax and to let the bad feelings behind me. But my sun was only allowed to shine when I wanted it. And that wasn't right to do to Jake. He deserved a much better friend, a much better love.
I wondered if the need for Jake would vanish at that time I became a vampire. Maybe the blood thirst would manage that. This thirst would be stronger than every other need. I was quite sure about it. But wasn't it crazy to hope that one misery banished another. If I told Edward I was hoping for blood thirst to forget my need for Jake, he would send me to asylum. But maybe he would not. It was more likely he would try to persuade me that it would be wiser to choose Jake, if the need for him was so strong. I was grinning to myself for my absurd cogitations.
When I got to Charlie's house, I carried the stuff inside. It was late now and I was expecting Edward every minute. My desire for him was already unbearable. I wondered what he has done the whole day. I went upstairs to my room and looked out of the window. Thinking about what we had done last night, my body was reacting immediately. The butterflies were in every part of it.
I sat down on my chair and stared at the wall. My breath was fast and my heart was racing. I shook my head. This reaction was much stronger than I was accustomed thinking of Edward. My human hormone, like Edward called it, were a cruse. Physically, there was nothing else I wanted more than him - the sooner the better. Intellectually, I was trying to consider his point of view, although it was so old-fashioned. Indeed, he indicated me that I was off the hook. But I knew exactly he would prefer to sleep with me not until we got married. It was amazing he worried more about our virtues than about my safety at this point of discussion. Whereas my safety would be only at risk because of my facile vulnerable, human body and don't because of his desire for my blood. This issue he controlled more than perfect since we had been back from Italy. He was much more afraid he could injure or even kill me with a careless move. But I was confident this couldn't happen because he was able to control his body and his strength perfectly, too. I regretted betting against him I would stand it until our marriage. Now I wasn't really sure I would win. I didn't saw the gain to wait. Sure, I would do him a favor. But I was already going to marry him in a few weeks. Wasn't that doing favor enough? And what was he trying last night? Did he want distract me from my pain and the whole thing had gotten out of control – more precisely out of my control – or was that the next step and he demonstrated me my bad self-control? I really hoped I would be able to control my future thirst a hundred times better than my desire for him. But in this case the gain would be immense – my self-control would save lots of human lifes – that would be a great challenge. My personal aim was to beat Carlisle. No, not to beat him, because his self-control was more than perfect. Just to be on the same level. I looked up to Carlisle like Edward did. I've never told both of them.
My breath was clam again and I've come to a decision. If something like that last night would happen again, I wouldn't be the one who cared for stopping it. Never mind I would lose my bet. Suddenly there was a slight knock on the front door. I stood up and looked out of the window. Now I saw his silver Volvo, parking in Charlie's driveway. I wondered what else he could tune in or at this car. Everything seemed to be perfect by now. Maybe it wasn't his car they tuned the whole day. I stepped downstairs speedily and opened the door.
"Hey. I smiled at him. "How was your day?"
"Unfulfilled."
I nodded in agreement. "For me, as well."
He pulled me close to his chest, touching my wrists, and kissed my lips softly. I closed my eyes and tried to control the reaction of my body. He didn't need to know I was on the edge of losing my bet, even when he guessed it. I opened my eyes and he slipped into the house. Now I was registering a thick envelope, sticking in the pocket of his light brown leather jacket – my favorite one. "What's that," I asked curiously. He grabbed at the envelope, went to the kitchen table and put it down on it. "Find it out by yourself." He smiled. His whole face glowed of excitement. I hadn't a clue of what would come. I sat down at the table and opened the envelope. He was standing next to me. I read only a few words of the letter: Accepted, University, Congratulation Miss Swan, Dartmouth. I gazed at Edward, shaking my head. "You actually did it. I can't believe this. Why?" I was shocked. I knew he preferred to go to Dartmouth, but I had doubted he would really pay a bribe to get me in.
"It was the best alternative of the other colleges. You know, Dartmouth offered even courses at night and the forest is pretty near. Alice and Jasper are also accepted. They probably decide to go there. So I thought you want to have the choice. Now you can choose between Alaska and Dartmouth, love. I will go there, where you will decide to go", he smiled his crocked smile and tried to look as innocent as possible. And this really worked on me.
"How much was the bribe?" I asked.
He eyed the kitchen, ignoring my question.
"How much, Edward?" I tried again.
"You promised you will let me pay for Dartmouth and even won't complain about the bribe to get you in. This was part of the deal, remember Bella." He smiled, trying to dazzle me with his golden eyes and his beautiful face.
"You forget about, I'm off the hook," I glazed at him. This fight he'll lose. "So do you spend your money on a whole new library? I guess because of your reaction a wing wasn't enough in this case," I said reproachfully.
"No, not exactly. It wasn't a library, but a new indoor swimming pool," he grinned at me.
"A what?" I looked with wide eyes at him, too shocked to say anything more.
"A new indoor swimming pool," he repeated. "It's quite nice and we can use it by night. They also send you a key with your acceptance," he smiled, showing up a small key.
"The new Cullen indoor swimming pool," I spluttered bewildered and suppressed a little laughter. It was too obscure.
"No, that's hardly right. It wasn't correctly me who spent the money to Dartmouth. In the strict sense it was you. So it's the new Swan indoor swimming pool." He chuckled, waiting for my reaction. I was wrong. He won this fight.
I looked at him stunned and speechless. After a long moment I found my voice again. "No, Edward, no. That's against my personal rules," I advised him.
"You have personal rules?" Edward asked and seemed to be very surprised and curious.
"Not many, but this broke one of that," I explained still stunned.
"Come on, Bella, the money has helped people. It was right to spend it. And as a nice side effect you are accepted at Dartmouth. Please, be good, Bella, please. I love you," he begged.
He was sitting on the chair next to me now, opening his arms. I couldn't withstand. I sat on his lap, nestling into his cool embrace.
"But couldn't you spend the money anonym?" I asked, investigating his face.
"No, that wasn't possible in this case. They needed your name to know who was going to be accepted as a reward. Furthermore in my opinion Swan is more beautiful and goes better with an indoor swimming pool than Cullen." He chuckled. Then he grabbed my face with his cool hands and kissed me softly. At this moment my anger began to fade. I took a deep breath of the sweetness of his skin to steady myself. "The new Swan indoor swimming pool in Dartmouth," I said, shaking my head kiddingly.
'What we are going to do this evening?" I asked, not having a good mind to discuss anything anymore. "Well, what do you prefer to do this evening, love?" Edward asked with a huge smile and palmed my back gently. He was happy I stopped the discussion about choosing a college, seeming to be agreeable with Dartmouth. "I'm thinking about visiting your home. I've nothing heard from Alice for a whole day. Is she still alive?" I was joking. "Yes, but she isn't really accessible. She is too busy with the wedding production. But she is having a lot of fun." He chuckled. "So let's go. Esme will be happy to see you."
It was a quick drive. Edward was still glad about the in his opinion positive outcome of our discussion. "I haven't said yes," I advised him softly. "But you also haven't said no in the final stage of our talk. And that's really positive for you. So everything is still possible," he smiled. "You're such an optimist," I chuckled. He knew exactly in most of the cases it was him who had won at the end and I suspected this was again such a case. But I preferred to keep him on tenterhooks for a while before I said yes. That was the reward to him for the Swan indoor swimming pool that I couldn't still believe. I hoped Alice wouldn't smash up my little revenge. But I doubted it because I've already made my decision.
The Volvo was now on the Cullen's driveway. The white house appeared still so beautiful and regal like on the day of my first visit. I felt like at home. It was a feeling of safety, confidence and love. I loved every member of the Cullen's family, sure especially Edward. For him I felt more than only love. He was the oxygen I still needed to survive. But even for Rosalie there have been strong feelings inside me since our last one and only conversation. It wasn't already love, but more solidarity.
I thought about my future. One day, maybe in eighty years I would come back to Forks. I would arrive at this driveway in a fast car with a decent color Edward had chosen and bought for me. I would get out of it and slip into the white house. It would be more than normal I lived here because at that day I would be for a long time a full member of the family. I would be a vampire and Edward's wife for about eighty years. Edward would kiss me softly on my lips when I met him in the great hall. Yes, that was it what I really want. My heartbeat was picking up speed. When I came back of thoughts still agitated, Edward opened the passenger door. He looked at me irritated. "Nothing. I'm only happy," I said. And that wasn't a lie.
We went up the stairs to the front door. Edward opened it and I got inside behind him. Carlisle was sitting on the big white sofa in front of a new huge, very flat TV that hung on the wall. Since Edward has smashed up the old one Emmett was betting against Jasper all the time how long the new flat screen would survive, although Emmett was very angry with Edward because the old one was a special import from Japan. Carlisle wasn't watching TV. He was reading a thick book. "Hello, Bella. How are you?" he asked, smiling at me. Err, thanks, I'm still fine," I muttered, grinning at him. My broken arm was almost recovered, but I still had to take care of it. We sat down next to him and started watching TV. It was a real highlight for me. The flat TV was amazing. It was like in the cinema. "Where are the others?" I asked disappointed. "Esme and Alice are shopping wedding stuff in Port Angles. It was a current decision. They left a short time after Edward had driven to you. Jasper and Emmet are hunting, but they will be back soon. And Rose has been tuning…," Carlisle broke off. Edward gave him a look as he tried to remind him of something. "…a car in the garage since the early morning," Carlisle continued.
Suddenly Edward stood up form the white sofa. "What is it?" I asked surprised. "Rosalie needs my support. She's such a great car tuner, but coming to a decision isn't really her talent." He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "I'll be back in a minute." Carlisle nodded, grinning at Edward. Then he disappeared. I glanced at Carlisle, glad I've gotten a chance after a long time to talk to him alone again.
"Are you looking forward to our complex wedding production?" I smiled innocently at him. "You know I'm a bit older than Edward. I prefer clearly this one to a short trip to Vegas," he smiled back, showing me he knew exactly about our discussed possibilities of getting married. "Edward is really happy about your decision on a traditional wedding. He would never admit to you before the wedding day because he'll give you the possibility to get back to the Vegas option." Carlisle looked at me now seriously. "I know that and this was one of the reasons I've made my decision in this way. It was hard for me to agree about this early wedding. I'm born at the end of the twentieth century. People get married after they are thirty or older but not before college," I stared at Carlisle. "But then I thought about time. And time means to humans something else than to….," I looked deeply into Carlisle's eyes and swallowed. After all the time the word made me still shiver when I had to speak it out loud. Carlisle smiled softly, he also knew about my little problem with that word. "… vampires. I believe it won't be important if I get married now or in fifteen years. For a vampire, it doesn't matter. It's almost the same time. Only my human time feeling put me at unease," I continued. "You are grown up, Bella. I'm so proud of you like a father. I love you like my own daughter. You are a real enrichment for our family," Carlisle said with an almost ceremonial voice. I felt tears rising. "I love you, too. And I'm glad to get the chance to be a part of your amazing family." Carlisle touched my shoulder with his cool hand. "We are all looking forward the wedding. We love great celebrations, especially Alice," he chuckled. And at this point I was really glad Alice forced me in a way to have a complex wedding. They deserved it absolutely. But I also owe this Charlie and Renée. They have always supported me in each way they could. And so the day had come I lost my first bet against Alice, I grinned at myself. Probably she has already known. I thought "thank you" and smiled.
"Ah, my sons are coming back and they are in very good mood", Carlisle chuckled again. I looked up and saw Emmett and Jasper, slighting into the living room. "Hi, Bella, are you fine?" Emmett and Jasper grinned at me. "Hi, yes, of course," I smiled. At this moment Rosalie appeared next to Emmett. "Edward is so stubborn," she argued. "Now he is trying something on his own I've already told him this noon that is impossible. It won't work." She rolled her eyes. "Edward is a specialist to implement things others had told him that were impossible," Emmett looked at me with a huge smile. I blushed and smiled back. "So, whose car you are tuning the whole day? I demanded, looking at Rosalie. She glanced at me with wide eyes. Then she said quickly, "Emmett's". Emmett looked up, "Yeah, I'm getting a red cow on my engine hood." "A red cow?" I asked bewildered. "Is this really cool?" Everybody tried to suppress a big laughter. I didn't understand their reactions. This whole tuning story was strange.
When Edward had gotten back, we played cards with Emmett and Jasper. They had no chance to win a single game. Edward was grim. All the time his two brothers made indirectnesses I wasn't able to understand. Edward rolled his eyes and hissed "Shut up!" or "Stop it, it's enough!" After a while Edward was really pissed off. He shook his head and grabbed my hand. Then we left.
"They are unbelievable," Edward blustered, slipping into his car. When I also got in, I looked at him curiously. He stared the Volvo and we drove away. "What were they talking about all this evening?" I asked. "It was less what they were talking about, but more what they were thinking of," Edward said still angry, smiling at me. "So please, tell me. I don't understand anything," I begged. Edward looked at me for a short moment. Then he touched my hand with his cool fingertips. "You will learn there isn't much privacy in my family. And sometimes my brothers carry this to an excess. Alice let something slip out about us when she was talking to Jasper. It wasn't really her intention. She already said sorry for that. But Jasper couldn't manage to keep it private. He told Emmett. And you know they both love gambling," he glanced at my face. "They bet if we will stand it until our marriage or not. And this bet was the most innocent they did," Edward said disgustedly. I was blushing right now. Edward smiled. "You are so beautiful by the time you blush, love," he said with his velvet voice and brushed gently my cheek with his icy fingertips. "What did Alice see about us?" I demanded embarrassedly. "Shouldn't I ask you that?" Edward said with a dirty grin on his beautiful face. His golden eyes looked into mine. "Why?" I gasped. "Because you came to a decision on your right order," he whispered loud enough I could hear. His cool hand was on my leg now. I was breathless. My body felt hot and I wasn't able to control my reactions. "Your heart is fluttering, love. Do you like to make a trip to the wood? The sky is clear and you can see the stars," Edward said almost alluringly. I glared at the sky and was surprised. He was right. The sky was really clear and I could see the stars. I wondered if Alice had exactly seen this.
"Yes, I do," I answered confidently. He smiled at me again. Now I was sure Alice had precisely seen this.
The shiny Volvo arrived at the edge of the wood. Edward opened the passenger door, glancing at my face. He scooped me up in his strong, icy arms and kissed my forehead. I looked into his golden topaz eyes. They were burning in the night. His mouth was on my lips. Suddenly he started to run. I didn't actually realize because I was still caught by his eyes. Then Edward stopped. I recognized our meadow. Sure, where else should it happen? He laid me gently into the cool grass and I looked into the sky. "The stars are so beautiful. This night is amazing," I whispered. He stared at my face. "You are more beautiful, love. That's our night," he whispered back. I smiled at him. "Edward, are really sure you want to do that by now?" "I'm sure I want to make you happy," he glanced at me. The moonlight was reflecting on his beautiful, pale skin. It was hard for me to have a conversation. I took his answer as a "yes", because there wasn't any motivation inside me to discuss "the right order" again. I wanted him and now I wasn't able to suppress that anymore. "But are you sure, Bella, you want to share this special moment with me," he asked innocently.
I locked my arms around his neck, not able to speak, and kissed his cool lips devotedly, pushing myself tighter to him. He kissed me back. This kiss was different from the others he ever had given to me. It was so strong on an edge I hardly could think. There was so much tension inside I was pretty sure he wanted me as bad as I wanted him. I rolled and wrapped my legs around his waist, sitting on his lap His hands slighted from my face over my chest to my waist, straining me closer to him. I pulled his shirt over his head and my hands drifted from his awesome shoulders over his back to his jeans. I felt his cool skin against mine. "I love you so much, Edward," I gasped. His mouth moved from my lips to my jaw and his breath was so fast; I could strongly feel it against my skin. My head was dizzy. I could hardy breathe. "Are you really sure you want to do this with me," he asked breathlessly. I nodded and my hand opened his belt. Now he got with his icy fingers throw the buttons of my blouse. It was the first time he did this, I was thrilled. For a short moment my breath stopped. My blood was sputtering to my head and my blood heat rose enormously. He didn't stop kissing me. There weren't anymore safety rules. We had broken every single rule by now. I slipped off my blouse, kissing his cool, pale chest. His icy hands were on my bra touching my overheated skin. I was near to faint, gripping his strong arms. Suddenly he wrapped his arms tightened around me and his cool lips were on my ear, "I love you, Isabella, you are the reason of my existence," he whispered heavily breathing. A second later we were lying in the grass. Edward was onto me, pressing me softly on the ground. He was so closed to me like never before. I was lost in the feeling of him, breathing in the sweetness of whole body. I could taste him, I could feel him, I could smell him, I could see him and I heard his fast breath. He loved me. That was a feeling I've never felt before. I was his. I gave me up to him. I trusted him. He was the man I would love for the rest of my existence.