Disclaimer: I do not own POTC, not do I own the poor artists I chose to parody in this section, which I can do beause of some sort of Parody Law...and hte first Ammendment. Thanks!

Aboard the Interceptor, Gibbs said, "Hey, boy, where's Jack?"

"He fell behind," Will muttered.

"I'll go with Elizabeth," Abigail said. "Wh ydon't you talk to him, Will?"

Will nodded as Abigail went below decks with Elizabeth. "How do you know Will?" Elizabeth asked.

"Ssshh! You love him, right?"

Elizabeth appeared startled for a moment. Then, she slowly nodded. "Why?"

"You know, Ellizabeth, Will likes girls that play hard to get."

"Really?" Elizabeth asked.

Abigail nodded sagely. "Oh, yes, I suggest you 'ignore' him for a few days. It'll really turn him on. He asked me to marry him when I ignored him, but I said, "No, Willykins, you love Elizabeth! He likes being called 'Willy Wonka' and 'Willy-kins', too."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, do it, and I promise Will will notice you."

Will came below decks. "Elizabeth!"

Elizabeth crossed her arms. "We were just talking, Willykins."

Will's eyes widened, and Abigail whipped out her camera phone. "I'm getting gold!"

"Wh-what?" Will asked.

Elizabeth winked to Abigail and strode above decks.

ILOVEJACKILOVEJACKILOVEJACK

"How the blazes did you get off that island?" Barbossa asked.

"He's Captain Jack Sparrow! He can do anything, and he's the reason…"

"For what?" Barbossa asked.

Jack's eyes widened as a spotlight randomly appeared. "How did you-"

Rose began to sing in a horrible voice that would've made glass burst into pieces.

Jack looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I know I'm beautiful, I want to be the girl he talks about
And he's everything that I can't live without

Jack talks to me, I laugh cause it's so funny
That I can't even torture Will when he's with me
He knows he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my Hello Kitty guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a sparkly star
He's the song in the ship I keep fight for, don't know why I do

Jack walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
Lucky Elizabeth and her corset laced so tightly
The kind of thing I wish would happen to me
I'd would hold him tight, give him all my love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know he's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my Hello Kitty guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the ship I keep fight for, don't know why I do

So I walk home alone, without a car in sight, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my Hello Kitty guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the ship I keep fighting for, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Jack looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

"That was…interesting," Barbossa said, nervously uncovering his bleeding ears.

"It's Taylor Swift," Rose replied. "I can sing it again-"

"NO!" Jack and Barbossa yelled.

"The girl's blood didn't work, did it?" Jack asked.

"You know whose blood we need," Barbosa said.

"I know whose blood you need."

ILOOVEJACKILOVEJACKILOVEJACK

"Who trades a man's life for a ship?" Elizabeth asked.

"Pirate," Will said.

"I wasn't asking you! I was asking Abigail, Wily Wonka!"

Abigail nodded. "Perfect."

"I get the feeling I'm missing something," Will said.

The girls shook their heads. "Nothing, Will, dearest, but Elizabeth and I wrote a song for you."

"Y-you did?" Will asked. "I suddenly feel really scared.

Abigail cleared her throat and grinned as she and Elizabeth began to sing (suddenly, Rose seemed like she could be an angel):

Right now you're probably thinking about a bleach blond sea goddess,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, you'll probably buying her some fruity little coconut milk cause she can't shoot rum...

Right now, you're probably up behind her with some lacy lingerie, asking her to put them on...EUNUCH!

And you don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of your pretty little souped up 4 sail drive,
carved my name into your leather boots...
I took a big cutlass to both the masts,
slashed a hole in all 4 sails...

Maybe next time you'll think before you cheats.

Right now, she's probably up singing some
white-trash version of Rose's famous Pirate Song..
Right now, she's probably saying "More rum; I'm drunk"
and you're thinking that you're gonna get lucky,
Right now, you're probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth on some generic Dollar Tree off brand...

That I dug my key into the side of your pretty little souped up 4 sail drive,
carved my name into your leather boots...
I took a big cutlass to both the masts,
slashed a hole in all 4 sails...
And you don't know...

Maybe next time you'll think before you cheats.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that you cheats...

Oh, you know it won't be on me!

No...not on me
'Cause I dug my key into the side of your pretty little souped up 4 sail drive,
carved my name into your leather boots...
I took a big cutlass to both the masts,
slashed a hole in all 4 sails...

Maybe next time you'll think before he cheats.

Oh.. Maybe next time you'll think before he cheats...

Ohh... before you cheats...

ILOVEJACKILOVEJACKILOVEJACK

Somewhere in Nashville, Tennessee, a blond woman gasped, and clenched her chest as she sat upright in bed. "My song!" she wailed. "What happened to my song!?! I'm calling my lawyer for copyright infringement!"

And still, another girl, about seventeen, screamed as she woke with a start. "What's wrong, Taylor honey?" her mother asked.

"Ow…my ears! I heard this insane wailing, but I think it was my song…something about a corset."

"Hush, honey. It's just a bad dream."

Taylor Swift nodded, nervously glancing over her shoulder.

Kay, I hope you liked it. To all my reveiwers, I love you soooo much! To those who've sat through this and NOT reveiwed, revwie again. Reveiws make me happy. And when I'm HAPPY I dont beat people up.

PREVEIW

"Blacksmith hands. I know they're rough."

Elizabeth ignored him, and Abigail threw Will a pink bottle. "What is this?"

"Lotion- for your rough hands. It's lavender- perfect for eunuchs."

"But I'm-"

"WHAT!" Elizabeth yelled. "And you never told me?"

"Elizabeth, wait!"

Elizabeth punched him in the face and walked above decks.