Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse.

Thanks to all who reviewed.

Enjoy my story.


4. Seattle

When I did wake up, I wasn't sure, if I really did or I was still dreaming. I felt a cool finger, stroking from the edge of my mouth over my chin and my throat to my chest and finally stopping on my waist. I shivered, breathing in a delicious scent of sweetness. Opening my eyes, I looked at Edward's perfect, beautiful face. He was so gorgeous. After all the time there have been still moments like that, I could hardly believe he was real. "Good morning, love," Edward smiled at me, brushing fondly my cheek with his icy fingers. I smiled back, still too tired for saying anything. My room showed up gloomy. It was a rainy day. The clouds had won the fight against the sun once more. On the Olympic Peninsula this has never been a fair fight. The clouds have always held the majority. In other words, it was a perfect day for a shopping trip to Seattle like Alice had predicted a few days before. I stretched out my arms and legs, poking out accidentally my right leg of my blanket. The coldness scrambled up to it and I trembled. For August the temperature was too low, it was more adequate to a day in October. Suddenly Edward's melodic voice distracted me from my senses.

"How did you sleep, my beauty," he asked, glancing at my face. My head was dizzy and my limbs hurt. I felt like a truck had run over me.

"I slept well," I lied with a husky voice, reaching for his cool hand. I didn't want to lose my chance of visiting Seattle. A cold was the recent restriction I could need now.

"You're such a bad liar," Edward chuckled, wrapping the blanket tightened around me, isolating my body from his. I hated this every single time he did for getting my body warm.

"You look awful, sweetheart. You've got a cold over night and you've a temperature. I think, it is better, you'll stay in bed today," he advised me, palming my hair.

"No," I protested. "Give me some time and I'll be fine. After a hot shower and some cold medication there'll be no reason for not going to Seattle today," I smiled at him weakly.

"We will see," he countered.

"Please," I begged.

"We can put the trip off. That's no problem, Bella," he smiled, trying to convince me. Suddenly there was a vibration in Edward's pocket. He switched out his tiny, silver cell phone. We won't see, but Alice has already seen, I corrected his sentence in my thoughts. Like he was reading my mind, he glanced at me, "We'll go tomorrow. Get well soon from Alice," he said, after switching off his phone. At this moment I started sneezing for several times and my body was shaking from coldness.

Edward cared for me overall. He called Charlie at the station, reporting to him I had to stay in bed for the whole day. He brought me cups of hot tea and kept company with me all the time. He was so lovely. I couldn't believe there has ever been a time in my short life, I had been happy without him.

In the evening my physical strength allowed me to take a shower. The hot water brushed against my body and the warmth, failing for hours, returned in my limps. After a long time enjoying the shower, I toweled and got dressed. A quick glance in the mirror told me my hair was entirely impossible, so I pulled it back into a ponytail. Then I went upstairs. Edward was waiting in the kitchen, glaring at the newspaper. "Again any mystical murders in Seattle?" I asked in a snappish way. "No, but in Boston, Massachusetts, near Dartmouth," Edward responded naturally as if there was nothing else to expect. I stopped shocked beside him. "That's a joke, isn't it? That's not funny, Edward," I reproved him.

He looked at me with an anxious expression on his face. "We've to watch this. I can err."

"What had happened there?" I asked. But honestly, I didn't want to know that. My stomach twisted and suddenly my body felt weak again.

"Several people vanished without a trace. And that always happened at night time," he instructed me.

"How many?" I was gripping the edge of the table now. There was a black hole in front of my eyes and the room was spinning. Sweat came on my forehead and fear got the upper hand. My hands were slightly shaking. Abruptly Edward was beside me and I felt his arm tightened around my waist. He pulled me on his lap and pressed my body against his chest, waiting for a comeback of my shock. After a moment of strong sickness, I twisted and looked into his dark black eyes, being horrified.

"Fifteen," he answered involuntarily.

Then my sickness restarted. "That's a déjà vu," I sobbed. "My time is up. That will never end until I will get converted. And also then I'm not really sure if this will come to an end. I'm damned," I moaned.

"Bella, we are talking about fifteen people over the last half year. That pointed at one at most at two of them, staying to long at the same place. They'll push along until September. And after that newspaper's report, I'm quite sure they will," he tried to comfort me.

I glared at him, not able to say anything.

He padded my hair. "You're only a danger magnet. You're not damned, sweetheart," Edward teased.

"That's not funny, Edward. What would be, if they decided to go to college? They are certainly looking forward to be friends with me in their own special way," I said sarcastically.

Edward glared at me thoughtfully. "Alice would see that. But if there still show up problems, we'll chance college; we'll go to Alaska. So don't worry, love." Edward kissed my hot cheek.

Then I stood up and paced around the kitchen, trying to displace this horrifying information about my prospective college. It took me a long time, but I was successful. Suddenly I felt at ease.

I gripped the rest of the pizza Charlie had brought yesterday and sat down at the table, glaring at Edward and investigating his beautiful face with my tired eyes. "You look thirsty," came suddenly over my lips. He glanced surprised at me. There were dark purple, bruise-like shadows under his eyes. He seemed to be more tired and sick than me. For days Edward was suffering from thirst, but he didn't want to leave me. He retarded hunting as long as possible. I didn't understand why he bothered himself so much. I hated Edward was suffering. And I hated even more he was suffering because of me. Edward nodded, "On Friday Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett and I will leave for a weekend trip. We'll go to a hunting ground near Alaska." This would have been the last weekend before we would turn into wife and husband, I thought, slightly shivering. I was scared of this fact. Time has passed so quickly I still wasn't able to understand properly what happened to me.

"That's sounds like a stag night. Only the guys and you," I was kidding.

He nodded again. "That's one," he grinned at me.

"You hold a stag night while you all were hunting?" I asked a bit shocked, imagining a blood debauch.

"Sort of," he commented, again glaring at the newspaper thoughtfully.

And that seemed to be the only explanation for this stag night, he was willing to give. After eating the pizza I felt much stronger. Life returned slowly to my body. I stood up and touched Edward's shoulders, standing behind him and looking at the newspaper, still displacing my knowledge. He gripped softly my wrists with his cool, endearing hands and pulled me on his lap again. I realized pleased this was exact what I wanted. His hands stroked over my spine. I pressed my face against his cold, hard chest and breathed in his sweet scent. It wasn't my intention to bother him more than necessary because of my closed presence but the need for him was so much stronger than my regard. I was surprised of my own behavior. It was pretty selfish and a new side I discovered at me. "I hope that's the last disease I get until I'll….," my voice broke off. I groaned, touching my head. The headache was starting again. Edward fixed me sadly with his deep black eyes. He knew exactly, what I was going to say until my head started spinning. "You'll return better to your bed, if you want to be fine tomorrow and able to visit Seattle, Bella," Edward advised me seriously. I ignored him, still suffering from my headache.

"What are you feeling right now?" I asked hesitantly after a while.

"I love you," he said, watching my face, and his dark eyes grew very soft.

"No, I mean, is it pain?"

Edward looked at me bewildered, not understanding what I was speaking of.

I decided to specify, what I wanted to know. "What is thirst like? To what is it comparable?

Now he understood what about I was talking and his eyes fixed me seriously.

"Bella, I don't think you want to know this. I'm pretty sure you will find out that soon enough."

"But I do want to be prepared for what will come. I've already known the sort of pain that will come while I will get converted. So now I do want to understand the need I will feel when I will belong to your kind." I chose my words aware of their effect. And they didn't fail.

Edward took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He seemed to be very concentrated. Then he spoke with a clam voice and a nauseated expression on his gorgeous face. "The thirst burns through your throat like fire. Your mouth is baked and desiccated. Your stomach twists with hunger that is a result of the thirst. Your jaw tenses like the muscles of your whole body. There's no escape. In the worst case, there is no image violent enough to encapsulate the force of what happened to you. You catch a scent and that drives you insane. You could barely think through this scent and you struggle with self-control all the time. In that instant, you are nothing close to the human you had once been. You're a predator, reaching for your prey. There's no denying what you are. There's nothing else in the world but that truth. The only range between that what you are and that what you nauseate to the core is your self-control, getting weaker ever second your prey is near by you."

His eyes were still closed. I swallowed hard. I was so perplexed because of his honesty that I hadn't expected. He'd described his thirst so detailed I was able to feel the force. I shivered and my mouth was dry. "Is that what you felt when we met first?" I asked sheepishly. He opened his eyes and nodded, looking ashamed at my face. "I'm a monster, Bella. Are you really sure, you want to be such a monster?" He asked. I could hear the sadness in his melodic, wonderful voice. He'd been right; I hadn't wanted to know this. There seemed to be no possibility for preparing. It was only practicing for years that could help to handle this force. Now I was pretty sure of that. "You're not a monster. I'm still alive. That's proof enough," I advised him with a strong feeling of respect. "And I'll make you responsible for to eliminate me with a motor saw, if I turn into such a monster without self-control and conscience," I chuckled, trying to bear down the tense atmosphere. "Oh, you prefer a motor saw. In my case I always choose an ax, but my brothers had refused to act all the time I'd been asking for," Edward said seriously, waiting for my reaction. I wasn't sure, if he was kidding or continuing with his honesty. So I looked at his face with wide eyes, knowing exactly he'd tried to die in the past not only once. Then he laughed, guessing my thoughts. "That was a joke, Bella," he put me at ease, stroking a strain of my hair behind my ear. "But now it's really time for you to go to bed," he smiled, lifting me on his strong, pale arms. Then he got me upstairs to my room.

Tuesday, eleven days till the wedding. The count down was running and my fear was rising. I felt a chronic sickness, dispreading in my stomach, although my cold had got much better. Two hours ago Alice had called and given instructions about our Seattle trip. She was going to search for blue and silver, silky ribbons for the wedding decoration. But she also had promised there would be no strong confrontation with the wedding theme for me. So I was looking forward to the trip again and felt at ease. Alice knew exactly about my aversion to that theme and she'd given me the promise not to tell Edward about my feelings concerning the wedding. But it wasn't really necessary to tell him about such things. Sooner or later he would read this in your mind. Thank goodness, not in my mind, but that didn't make thinks better. Thus I wasn't sure, if he already knew about my rising aversion to our wedding. I didn't want to hurt him, but I was a victim of my human time feeling.

My mind has still been occupied with the force Edward had described so detailed last night. I tried to find something comparable in my human life, but I wasn't addicted anything. The only exception I was addicted was Edward. But the last and only time he'd left me, I'd felt physical pain. This pain had hurt so much that there had been any reactions impossible. I had been suffering from his absence but I hadn't been reaching for him. That way didn't seem to offer comparability to the force of thirst.

A slight knock on the front door gave me my coven for Seattle had arrived. I opened the door, gripping my coat. "Hey, are you ready," Edward brushed gently my cheek with his icy knuckles. I nodded, forcing my mind to stop searching for comparable feelings at least for the next few hours. I shut the door and paused on the porch. There was it again; Emmett's immense, big monster Jeep. I was looking curiously at its engine hood. But my eyes didn't find what they were searching for. Red on red – that didn't make sense. They fooled me; but why? Emmett and Alice were waving from behind the windshield. I waved back. Emmett was on the driver's side. The last time I got inside that shiny red Jeep was when James had decided to hunt me. The tires were still higher then my waist and the four large spotlights enlightened the gloomy day like sun was shining. The engine roared. Edward had lifted me easily to the back seats before he followed, closing the door. "Hallo everybody," I breathed. Then Emmett started driving. "So, what about the…," I paused, making sure I caught their attention. "….red cow?" I asked innocently. Edward looked at me confused for a second. "Yes, what about that, Emmett," Edward said in a teasing but reproachful way, grinning at his favorite brother. "Oh, that didn't look cool. Rose is working out a templet for a new image," he explained, trying to sound more seriously than he used to be. That made me ever more skeptical. But I decided to wait and to watch this "Red Cow" until I would find out what it was standing for. Edward distracted me from this topic. He pressed his cool lips to the hollow under my ear. Then he whispered, "How are you today?" "Fine, thanks," I muttered, inhaling deeply the sweet scent of his skin.

Alice was so excited. She dithered on her seat, giving us a full account about the progress of the wedding arrangements. That sounded strange to me, like she was talking about the wedding of a closed friend but not of my own one. Edward squeezed my right hand, guessing how I was feeling. I gave him an apologizing look. He padded softly my hair and pulled me closer to his side. "What are the others doing today? Why didn't they join us?" I tried to lead the conversation to a new direction, fixing Alice seriously with my eyes. But she was too involved in the whole wedding theme she didn't realized she was getting on my nerves. Suddenly Emmett saved me, answering my questions. "Carlisle is working at the hospital today and Esme get involved with a social project in Forks. They collected clothes and money to spend that on people in need. Jasper supports her." Emmett stopped his report. "And Rosalie, what is she doing today?" I pressed. And there was it again. The typical short silence by the time the Cullens tried to hide something from me. A foreigner wouldn't realize that. But I knew better. Before anybody could answer, I'd said, "No circumstances. I guess she is working with the Red Cow. And I hope she is having a lot of fun because she is going to miss a really enjoyable day." I laughed, shaking my head. Three pairs of surprised eyes looked at me. I shrugged and glanced back innocently. Emmett broke out in a big laughter. He could barely hold himself. "She's a real Cullen by now, isn't she?" He snorted with laughter. Edward rolled his eyes. "I told you," Alice advised him. "She found out on her own what we are in a considerable time. I bet finding out what the Red Cow is like, will take her - let me think about it - three more days. Who accept this bet?" Emmett asked excited. "Stop betting!" Edward frowned. Emmett switched out his cell phone. "You can call Jasper later after we've arrived. So we'll get around your betting stuff," Edward glared at Emmett, shaking his head disapprovingly. Emmett pushed the phone back in his pocket. I glanced at Edward with curious eyes. "You aren't going to tell me the truth, are you?" "No, not yet", he said quickly. "Why not?" I asked with a soft voice, looking deeply into his dark eyes. "Stop it, Bella, you're a tiny monster. It's a surprise," he struggled. Alice and Emmett laughed. "When will you tell me?" I asked in the same lovely way. Edward looked away and gave me a quick "Soon." "What about your self-control," I teased, grinning at him. He glanced at me, "What happen to you. You are such a tiny, lovely monster. I'm not going to tell you anything until the right time. So there's no need for you to try it anymore." Edward blamed. I smiled, pressing my lips on his. He kissed me back and pulled me closer to him. "Hey, hey," Emmett groaned. "Not until we've arrived. Let us a chance to get around it," he laughed again. This time we joined in.

Seattle was lovelier than Phoenix and less rainy than Forks. There were lots of stores, cafés and restaurants. The sky was cloudy, but it didn't rain. After a first impression we got separated. Alice decided to make a trip on her own. On the one hand she wanted to do me a favor, but in the other hand she was very afraid it would take too long and it would be impossible to mange her program she'd resolved before, if we all stayed together. I was glad and gave her a big hug, whispering in her ear, "Thank you so much for your efforts, Alice. You do such a great job. You know, I love you like my own sister." She kissed my cheek. "That's alright, Bella. I love you, too, "she said. Then she vanished in the crowd.

So there were only two points on the agenda for today. A music and a book store. That seemed to be manageable. Emmett, Edward and I messed around all the time. Emmett tried to convince me to join in his betting passion, teasing me with indirectnesses. Edward saved me. And my brother-in-law-to-be groaned disappointed. First we arrived at a music store. Emmett and Edward enjoyed the whole offer of the store. Edward loved music. He was listening to several CDs and bought a lot of them. I didn't know how many CDs he already owned. Now he owned fourteen more. Emmett was a bit more moderate than Edward. At the end he bought two CDs less than his brother.

I was looking forward to the book store. It was a long time ago since I've got a chance to visit a good book store. Such a visit meant a lot to me. It was a special, private event. I loved the scent of the books and the silent atmosphere. It gave me a feeling of freedom and peace. Good book stores always invited to reflect on your day or on things you put off. Normally I did prefer to go there on my own. My companion would only be bored to death. I was able to spend there hours in silent, enjoying the offer of new books. I had warned Edward, but he insisted to accompany me. Emmett had decided to buy a present for Rosalie, so he went to a jeweler across the street. As we entered the book store the atmosphere took possession of me. I slid silently throw the shelves, breathing in the exquisite scent of new books. Edward glanced at me curiously. He was looking for a new exemplar of Wuthering Heights because my old one was dissolving in his single components. I started my search for a new book Angela had advised me to read. I tried to remember the title. After a minute it came to my mind: "A Certain Slant of Light". That ought to be a great love story. I was pretty excited when I got an exemplar in my hands, reading the backside of the book. I decided to buy it. The story sounded interesting.

About an hour later Edward appeared in front of me. He was holding a new special exemplar of Wuthering Heights in his pale, right hand. "Are you ready, Bella?" he asked and gave me an appreciative look, pulling softly my ponytail. I nodded, still enjoying the silent atmosphere. He gripped the three books I'd chose and went for paying them. When Edward returned he was carrying a bag. "Emmett called. He is waiting in a small café across the street. We'll also meet there Alice in about an hour. Let's have a break," he smiled at me. I nodded again in agreement and we left for the café.

The day had been so enjoyable and normal I forgot about who we were and what differed us from the other people around. Well, what differed my companions from the other people around. But I belonged to that coven now and soon to the same kind. There was already a stronger feeling of belonging to the Cullens inside me than of belonging to the human kind.

As we arrived at the café Emmett was sitting behind a big window, waving to us. We entered and joined his table. He pushed his soda to my side with a huge grin on his face. "Did you find a present for Rosalie?" I asked casually. The waiter was standing next to me. I ordered a chocolate-raspberry muffin and Edward chose a soda, "Yes, I bought for her a new pearl necklet. Her old one looks terrible. And she does such a great job on the Red Cow. So I think, she's worthy of an award," Emmett grinned at me. Edward gave him an angry look. I ignored them, eyeing the small café. There were only a few tables inside. The waiter was wearing black trousers and a white shirt. A small counter with a glass pane was standing in one corner. Behind this pane there were lots of cakes placed. They looked delicious. The scent of coffee came suddenly to my nose. I breathed in and glanced out of the big window at the book store. Across the street a young couple showed up. The boy wrapped his big, brown hand around the girl's small waist. His black hair was pulled back into a ponytail. He appeared so familiar to me. I felt a strong desire for reaching him. At this moment Edward's cool hand touched mine. I gasped. My brain had come to a conclusion of my strange feelings. That boy was Jack. I stood up, my mouth open and my eyes wide. Tears were rising. Edward pulled me back to my wooden chair.

"That was Jake," I spluttered.

"No. You err," Edward said in a low voice, shaking his head.

"No, I didn't. That was him." I looked skeptically at Edward. "Did you know he went to Seattle?"

Edward glanced at me. He seemed to balance what to say.

"Don't lie to me," I pleaded.

Then he nodded, wrapping his cool arms around my waist and pulling me on his lap. I hid my face, pressing it against his hard chest. Tears were running. My face felt hot. Edward brushed my spine softly with his icy hands. "Emmett is getting the car and picking up Alice. So we can leave soon, love. Don't worry. Jacob is fine. I love you, "Edward whispered in my ear. A few minutes later I found myself in the car. Alice looked at me worried. I shook my head. "It's nothing, I'm fine." Then I lay my head on Edward's shoulder. He stork my side gently and I closed my eyes.