I would like to apologize for taking so long in updating. This chapter was two paragraphs from being done a few days ago, but before I could finish, my brother got on the computer and just like that, I forgot what I was gonna write. I don't think it came out as good as it could've, but I keep getting ahead of myself in the chapters and can't wait to do the next one. I already have the basic storyline done for it, but I can't tell you when to expect it, because I now realize how hard it is to update consistently.

Anywho, I would like to thank my reviewers, especially Reverse Psychology, (a.k.a. Amanda) for reviewing and just being my best friend. Love ya sweetie :-)

Disclaimer: Life with Derek is not mine. It belongs to the meany-beany writers who are making us wait until the end of season 4 before they put Dasey on.

The Older I Get

The older I get
Will I get over it?
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think
The older I get
Maybe I'll get over it
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I can't believe it still hurts like this

The Older I Get-Skillet

Derek woke up the next morning in a cold sweat. As he predicted, he had another dream about Casey after he fell asleep. Unlike the others however, this was about the actual crash. More of a memory then a dream. He saw the accident exactly as it happened, even Casey's face as she saw the car coming toward them. Just as the car hit them, he woke up, his heart racing. He heard the loud noises of cartoons coming from the living room, meaning Marti was already awake. Slowly, he got out of bed and went down the stairs. When Marti saw him, she ran over to him. "Morning Smerek." she said as she jumped into his arms, hugging him.

"Morning Smarti." he said, looking at her face as he held her. A small smile appeared on her face as she squeezed him. Derek envied the smile she had. How can she be happy while my life feels like it's falling apart? he thought. He put her down and made his way to the kitchen. Edwin was eating something that resembled scrambled eggs. "Did dad try and make breakfast again?" he said, staring at the plate of 'food.'

Edwin nodded his head. "Yup, then he went to work."

"This early?"

"Derek, it's already eleven."

Derek looked over at the clock and shook his head. "Oh. Where's Nora?"

Edwin frowned and pointed to the basement door. "She's been in there since we came home from the funeral."

"Must be hard for her."

"Well, she just lost her daughter. Maybe you should go and talk to her. You know, since you both are going through the same thing."

Derek nodded his head and sighed. Guess it couldn't hurt, He thought as he walked to the basement door. He could hear her crying from the top of the stairs. Not the loud, sobbing kind of cry, but more like the soft whimper that he had heard with Casey many times before. The sound alone nearly made him start again.

When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he saw Nora sitting at the edge of her bed holding a framed picture of Casey, tears scattered across the glass. "Nora?" he said, walking toward her.

She turned to see who it was. "Derek, sweetie, hi." she said, wiping her eyes. "Um, did you need something?"

"No," he said, feeling somewhat out of place as he kept his eyes on the picture Nora held. It didn't look like one he had seen before, yet somehow it was familiar to him. In it, Casey was sitting on a bench in the park with Nora and Lizzie on either side of her and a man sitting with Nora, his arm around her shoulders. Derek recognized him as Casey's dad, Dennis, from when he had come to dinner. His eyes drifted back to Casey, her smile seeming to brighten the entire picture. She looks so happy. Derek thought, as the tears threatened to come again. He fought them backas he spoke up again. "Ho- how are you? With everything, I mean."

Nora motioned for him to sit next to her. "Not good. I mean, I know she's in a better place now, but it's hard. I can still remember the first time I held her in my arms like it was yesterday. She was so young, she had her whole life ahead of her. Her graduation was in two weeks, and she was looking forward to it so much."

Derek looked down at the floor, feeling the horrible feeling that he had been dealing with the last week come over him again. It's all my fault, he thought, as the tears that had been threatening earlier slowly rolled down his face and onto the concrete floor below. It's because of me she won't be here to graduate. How could I be so stupid?

Nora looked at him, sensing he was upset, and put her hand on his back to comfort him. "Derek, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Derek kept his eyes on the floor. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

Nora's eyes widened as she slowly moved her arm up and down, "Is that what you think? That it's your fault? Sweetie, no one meant for it to happen. It was an accident. I don't blame you for Casey's death."

Derek looked up at Nora, "You don't?" he said.

"Of course not. Like I said, it was an accident." Nora said in a quiet voice. Something about her voice made him do what he was dreading. Telling her the truth.

"Nora, I have something to tell you." Derek said hesitantly, staring at the floor once again.

"What is it?"

"Me and Casey…" he said, sighing, "Well, we… We were dating. We had been for about a year. Since the end of junior year."

Nora looked at him and smiled. "I know."

Derek's eyes shot up in disbelief, "What?"

"Derek, I'm a mother. Did you really think you could keep something like that from me? Besides, Marti let it slip one day."

"And here I thought she was good at keeping secrets." Derek mumbled.

Nora chuckled lightly, then looked back at Derek, "Are you going to be okay?"

He really didn't know how to answer. As of right now, no, he wasn't going to be okay. His life was torn apart at the seams. Every thing that was good in his life was taken away in an instant, and it hurt. It hurt more then anything he had ever felt. It hurt to eat, to talk, to move, to think… To live. Every thought, every memory, revolved around Casey, and it killed him inside more and more every time. "I don't know. Like you said, she's in a better place, but there's a part of me that wants her back in my arms again. Like the best place for her is right here with me." Derek said, pausing to wipe away a stray tear from his face. "I guess I'm just being selfish."

Nora just gave him a sad smile. "You're not being selfish. I want her back too."

Derek went to look at her, but saw that she was already gone. Sighing, he got up and went in his room to get ready for the busy day ahead. Kendra and Emily had decided to throw Sam a surprise birthday party. Being Sam's friend, he was expected to bring a few things, such as drinks and chips. He really didn't feel like going to a party, but he knew he had to get out of the house somehow. Just being here brought back memories to painful to think about.

As he walked up the stairs, he glanced at the wall, looking at the pictures that decorated it. There were some of Edwin and Marti, Nora and his dad's wedding picture, a cute one of Lizzie, and one that had been added today, by Nora he guessed. It was the picture Casey always used as a bookmark. It was a photo strip he and Casey had taken a month or so ago. In the first picture he had his arm on her shoulder. The second, They were making funny faces to each other. The third was them laughing at something, (probably at a joke he had told.) And the last was his favorite. Just as the camera was about to take the picture, Derek had turned to her and kissed her cheek.

Derek loved that picture, and was tempted to take it to his room, but knew it was better to keep it on the wall. That way everyone could enjoy it.

I actually had it a little different in my mind, but I think it came out okay. I've always liked when they put Derek and Nora talks on the show, but they're few and far between, so I thought I'd put my own in here. I'm changing a few insignificant things in some of the earlier chapters, so you can either go back and look for them, or just forget it. They're not important anyway, I'm just a perfectionist when it comes to my writing.

I'm very sorry for my long authors notes, but I always have a lot to say. Anywho, Please review, because this time I'm serious, I'm not posting until I get ten reviews. That's not to much to ask for, considering I have, like, 300 views or something. Even if it's to say to hurry up and update, I'd like to hear from you.

I think that's it. Review my pretties!
---Riss