Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse!

Author's note:

Enjoy the story. I hope you'll like it!

Guess who's back ;-)

5. Back

The lights were off and I was lying on the sofa in Charlie's living room, glaring at the ceiling. The darkness gave me a feeling of calmness. Edward had left about two hours ago for his hunting trip to Alaska and Charlie was still sleeping. The clock showed five in the morning. I couldn't sleep and my thoughts were going in pointless circles. The last days weren't very agreeable for me. Edward had retired because of my overreaction in Seattle. But at this time there had been no strength inside me to suppress my feelings. I'd still suffered from my cold, had eaten less and had walked all the day - then I'd seen Jack, my Jacob without any warning or time to prepare myself. My reaction had hurt Edward much more than my whole aversion to our wedding. I'd seen the pain on his face and in his eyes. But why had he kept safe from me the facts he knew about Jake? And who had told him about Jake was in Seattle? Alice still couldn't see the wolves. I didn't understand this whole matter and I felt so awful.

Charlie had gotten up. I heard he was on his way to the bathroom. I didn't want to have a conversation this morning, thus I sneaked upstairs to my room when he got inside the bathroom. I shut silently the door behind me. The coldness let me shiver. I looked at the window. It was open. So I went to shut it. Then I scuffed to my bed. I was surprised, seeing a small folded piece of paper, lying on my bed. I opened it and recognize right away the awesome hand writing. I left my heart with you. Take care of it. Edward had written this before he left. I lay down and pressed the note against my chest until I fell asleep.

Waking up, I was in a strange mood – sad but fraught with confidence. I looked at my engagement ring still on the third finger of my left hand. Wearing it felt much easier in the last few days than before. And now at the time Edward was gone the ring tied me stronger in him than I was ever aware of. That was a wonderful feeling.

Suddenly there was a hard knock on the screen door. Who could this be? Alice wouldn't come over until in a few hours. I reached for the door, looking curious as I opened it. "Jake," I cried out in surprise. He threw his huge arms around me and kissed my forehead. "Hey Bella, are you all right?" He asked with a husky voice, pressing me against his hot chest. "Yeah, I'm fine," I responded in a calm but still surprised voice.

When Jake scuffed inside the house, still holding me in his arms, my feelings got the upper hand. They overbore me and the words spluttered out of my mouth. "Why did you leave? What did you do in Seattle? Has the pack allowed you to be there? And why are you here now?" Tears rose in my eyes.

"Bella, Bella, so many questions?! I'm only happy to be here now with you," he smiled. "Please, try to answer them," I pressed, sobbing. My head was still resting against his hot chest and his big hands started to pet my back. Comfort dispread in my body.

"I'd to fight the pain," he said abruptly.

"And did you win?" I asked so casually as possible.

"I'm not sure." He shrugged. "Seattle helped me a lot. I got a part-time job in a restaurant and a little room upstairs. Unbelievable but there had been moments I was happy. Now, since I've returned…." His voice broke and his eyes grew sad.

"What's now, Jake?" I whispered into his chest.

"I'm not sure if I can stand it," he whispered back and pressed me tightened against him. "The pack is happy about I'm back, but I don't know if I'm really back." He hesitated.

"And why are you then here now?" I wondered again. "Not that I objected, but why?"

"Your bloodsucker called me," he explained, surprised I had no idea.

"Edward called you? That's getting better and better. He knows your number and where you are to find all the time!?" I asked angrily. Jake nodded. "And why he didn't tell me?" I shook my head.

Jake shrugged. "Who understands bloodsuckers," he said casually.

"What did he tell you that you come straight on here?" I asked skeptically.

Jake looked at me silently for a long moment. "You are in pain," he responded then so naturally I was blushing.

I unfixed Jake's embracement and sat down on the sofa I had spent half of the last night. Jake threw himself next to me, wrapping his hung arm around my shoulders. "Are you still in pain, honey?" He asked, pulling me nearer to his warm body.

"I'm confused," I gasped.

"What about?" He wondered.

"Why are you in contact with Edward and why he knows even your address and phone number in Seattle?"

"Because of you," he answered in an easy way.

I gave him an even more confused glance than before.

"If you change your mind and maybe even your husband-to-be," Jake ginned at me, tightening his arm around my shoulders.

"Stupid vampire. I can't believe this," I mumbled to myself, shaking my head. "Why didn't he tell me?" I asked now stunned.

"That was his decision, I don't know why. Maybe he is your husband-to-be." Jake's eyes grew sad again at these words. He kissed my hair. Then he asked hopefully, "Isn't he?"

I looked seriously at Jake. "Did Edward doubt this in your call," I pressed. Jake shrugged.

"I think he did. But he didn't speak it out loud."

Then guilt hit me with such a force I was trembling, thinking of Edward's pain. "Did you only come here because you thought I'd changed my mind?" I asked still stunned.

"Maybe," Jacob chuckled.

"That's not funny. You both are not funny, you know," I advised him angrily.

Then Jacob asked again, "Isn't he, Bella?"

"Yes, he is and you can't change this." I petted his cheek with my hand, looking sadly into his brown eyes. He came nearer to kiss me; but I pressed gently my hand onto his warm, soft lips. "You can't change this," I repeated. "Please accept."

Then I tried to lead the conversation to another topic though I felt sick, guilty and still awful. "Who was this girl next to you in Seattle? She was pretty." I said with an excited voice.

"Oh, that was Mel. She works with me at the restaurant," Jake smiled.

"Do you like her?"

"Not close to you," he answered honestly, looking into my eyes.

"Not again Jake. Is she your girlfriend?" I tried to distract him again.

"Sort of," he glanced at me.

That gave me a stab I hadn't expected. I smiled, hoping he didn't notice my pain. "That's fine," I confirmed him.

"I didn't have more physical contact to her than you to your bloodsucker. I would say even less. So you hardly can speak of a girlfriend. But on the other hand you'll marry him. Thus she must be," Jake explained himself.

I gave him an angry look. "What know you," I mumbled to myself. But his ears caught this. "What does that mean?" Jake asked skeptically and in a certain way jealously.

"That only means we had more physical contact than you maybe can imagine." I fought back.

He looked scared at me. "What do you mean exactly by "more"," he pressed.

"That's not your business," I nagged, already being sorry I'd mentioned this and hadn't only nodded in agreement of his provoking commentary.

"Tell me Bella. He's dangerous, you know."

"He isn't more dangerous than you or your kind. Think of Emily," I advised him.

Then he changed his strategy. "I'm your best friend, am I not? Isn't your best friend allowed to know this?"

"Jake, it is private. But for your satisfaction, he gave me exactly what I wanted," I couldn't suppress a smile at the moment I thought of Edward and this was my fault. That smile said more than hundred words to Jake.

"No, you didn't do this," he said in disgust.

"That depends," I challenged.

"Depends on what," he asked, making a face.

"What do you mean by "this"," I ginned sarcastically. He started getting on my nerves.

"Bella stop that. Did you sleep with that leech? I can't believe it. Please say no," he glared at me hopefully.

"Guilty. Your Honor. Are you now satisfied?" Tears rose in his eyes. "What did you expect? He's my fiancé. Isn't that the way couples show their love each other? And you know I love him."

"But he's a leech, Bella," Jake cried out.

"So will be I," I provoked. Then there was silence. Jake wasn't able to speak for a long moment. He trembled and tried to get a grip on himself.

"Jake, clam down." I petted his big hand.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then his trembling stopped; but his eyes were still closed.

"Jake, I love him, you know that. So please let us stop discussing," I almost begged.

"Don't convert," Jake also begged with closed eyes. His voice was so sad.

I shook my head. He didn't see but he knew my answer. I squeezed his big, hot hand.

"So it seems I have to catch up a lot with Mel," he said suddenly in a sarcastic way, looking into my eyes.

The stab returned and I squeezed my eyes. This time Jacob seemed to notice my pain, waiting for my reacting. I wanted to scream, no, don't do that. You are mine. But how could he be mine, when I was Edward's. So I suddenly nodded "It seems so," I said with a lump in my throat.

He threw his arms around my shoulders and pressed me against his chest, kissing my hair. I closed my eyes. "Will you show up on August thirteenth? You can bring Mel too," I suddenly said.

Jake shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'll try, if it's important to you."

Without hesitating or thinking about a minute how much this day will hurt Jake I nodded and said, "It's important to me."

"So then I'll give my best," he grinned. But this grin didn't reach his eyes. They were still sad.

After I'd told Jake, Alice will come over soon; he decided to make a short visit in La Push. He intended to stay in Seattle for a while again but he announced to show up at August thirteenth. And a selfish part of me was happy about this announcement.

The wedding was so close now Alice couldn't take me out of the arrangements anymore. One week and a half day, then I would be a wife. I touched the ring on my hand and suddenly the thoughts of being tied in Edward the strongest human way existing pushed me at ease. It was the first time thinking of the wedding didn't terrified me; instead of I felt relief. That was amazing. I grinned to myself. Alice looked bright-eyed at me. "You'll love it. It's going to be a perfect wedding," she said with an excited voice. Then she informed me about the order the guest would sit at huge tables standing on the big property in front of the Cullen's and soon also my new home. I could hardly believe that wouldn't be a rainy day in Forks. But I had given up betting against Alice for a good reason – you wouldn't ever be able to win. So I changed the places of some people on Alice's note. There should be some space between my new family and members of the Quileutes, if anybody of the wolves or their families really decided to attend my wedding. But with the one exception of Jake; he would sit next to me. Alice was looking amazingly at my face as she saw Jake would sit next to me. I shrugged.

"Edward didn't need to know until this day. He also kept secrets from me Jake concerning. And Jake is my best friend."

"He will know before," Alice advised me in an almost singing voice.

"Then forget about it and he won't," I smiled slyly at her.

Alice rolled her eyes. "I think that's no good idea. But it's your wedding," she smiled innocently.

Edward had left twelve hours ago and I already missed him badly. Sure I was angry with him because he'd decided to keep the knowledge about Jake from me and handled this whole matter his way, but I needed him close to me for being relaxed. Alice tried to distract me with the wedding stuff but that even made things worse. "He'll be back soon. Don't worry. He wouldn't want you're worry," she comforted me. But this comfort held only for a very short time. After the conversation with Jake I felt emptier than ever without Edward near me. I felt lonely – forgotten – lost. Alice touched my hand with her icy fingers and brought me back of my senses. "Don't be sad. He'd to leave. He'd retarded hunting as long as possible," she said with her pixie-like voice. I nodded. Then there was a long silence.

I decided to speak to Alice about Edward's behavior Jake concerning that I still couldn't understand. "Why Edward didn't tell me about Jake, Alice?" I asked reproachfully.

She grinned at me but the edges of her mouth showed clearly there was no reason for grinning. "Would you tell him, if things were the other way round?" She asked back.

I thought about it a minute. Alice didn't really expect an answer. Certainly she already knew it. I tried to imagine Edward would like one of the hundred girls who adored him. At school almost every girl had adored him in one or another way, only their deeply hidden human instincts and Edward's rejecting behavior had kept them away from him and had been the reason for he'd been single until he'd met me. But if there were a girl right now he would like the same way I liked Jake, I would die. Even if he would tell me she would only be a friend. I couldn't describe the strange pain I felt at this thought. It made me angry and sad at the same time. This pain was very similar to the stab I'd felt when Jake had told me about Mel; but it was much stronger. If that girl Edward would like vanished, I would do anything but tell him where she was to find, even if I knew. Alice was right. Edward's behavior was quite comprehensible. But the fact he cared for Jake was insane. Maybe he was still hoping masochistically I would decide to stay human and with Jake. Not maybe, I'm pretty sure he did; at least the former.

Alice had still a lot of things to prepare for the wedding so she was already half on her way to the door for leaving. I gave her a disappointed and reproachful look because I had no nerves for staying alone and having time to think. Looking at my face, Alice came back and petted my hair. "Get your stuff. You'll stay with me until Edward will come back," she suddenly said. I wasn't surprised. This was exactly what I wanted. When I'd got my bag we reached for the car. I expected Alice had taken Edward's Volvo as she always did when he was absent because in Edward's opinion her Porsche was too ostentatious for driving it in Forks. But she hadn't taken the Volvo. Instead of Rosalie's shiny red BMW was standing in Charlie's driveway certainly not less ostentatious than the yellow Porsche. "Why didn't you take the Volvo?" I asked bewildered.

"Edward had preferred to drive on his own. Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper had taken the Mercedes," she informed me causally.

"Oh," I said, getting into the car. It was the first time I drove in Rosalie's car. Inside a strong scent of leader came to my nose like in the Volvo. I took a deep breath and my body relaxed the first time for that day. The scent was too familiar there was no other chance as to relax. Vampires seemed to like this smell or in fact the Cullens.

The time passed very fast while I stayed at the Cullen's house. Esme and even Rosalie cared touchingly for me; so I decided to spend the rest of my weekend at the Cullen's place. I called Charlie. He was at home but already half on his way to La Push. Billy had called him this afternoon. Jake had shown up. What a surprise, I thought sarcastically; informing my father I wouldn't show up at home until Monday. He seemed to be a bit disappointed but he mentioned nothing that way. Thus it was a short call.

This night I enjoyed watching TV. Rosalie was sitting next to me on the huge white sofa. I loved the big flat screen, hanging in front of us on the wall. Rose also seemed to like the big display. We'd a lot of fun together. More than I'd ever imagine we could. We laughed all the time and I discovered our humors were the same way. Like Edward and me she was the sarcasm in person. Her black humor even seemed to beat mine. When I fell asleep exhausted of laughing all the night she lifted me carefully on her arms and got me upstairs to Edward's room. I opened my eyes for a short moment, looking at her beautiful face. She smiled at me.

"Sleep now, Bella," she said with a clam and friendly voice. Then she laid me on the huge, golden bed and I curled into a ball. My dreams were starting at once. I saw Edward standing next to me and kissing my hair; in front of us stood Jake and Mel. Jake wrapped his huge arm around her waist like he'd done in Seattle. We were all laughing. Suddenly a pale but beautiful and young woman came across us. After my fancy she was a little too pale and beautiful for being human. I looked afraid at Edward's face; but he smiled. When she has almost arrived at us he stepped up to her. She smiled widely at him. Edward wrapped his pale arms around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. My mouth fell open. Who was she? I couldn't recognize her. Jake and Mel were still laughing. But my high spirits passed at this moment. Edward took the woman's hand and pulled her to us. "That's Tanya. She's here for a visit and had arrived much sooner I expected." He kissed her hair again. Tanya. That Tanya from Denali who had been once interested in a closer relationship with you than good, old friendship, I thought alarmed, pressing my lips together I was able to suppress crying out this question. I nodded in her directing. "Nice to meet you, Tanya," I said, tying to sound friendly. Then Edward left without another word, accompanied by her. I gazed at their backs, not able to cry for them. My voice was too weak and my body started shaking. "Edward, no, please don't do that. Come back. Edward. Edward. Edward," I begged with a weak, quiet voice. I looked around. Jake and Mel were disappeared. I was alone. Slowly tears came to my eyes and I stared in disbelieve in the direction Edward and Tanya vanished. I cried. My face was hot and wet. Then I fell on the ground, sobbing. Suddenly I felt the sun on my face but it was dark around me. There was nothing except pain. I was confused.

At that moment it came to my mind I've already woken up. I opened my eyes. My face was wet and my whole body hurt. I decided to take a shower and to displace this nightmare at least for the next few hours until I was recovered.

The next two days were fun pure although I spent all my time with Rose. Alice was either in Port Angeles or on the phone, dealing with suppliers of wedding stuff, and Esme was still involved with her social project she supported. On Saturday Rose worked at her BMW and taught me lots of tricks to get a car engine up to speed. She showed me what she exactly meant by tuning a car. Rose was a great mechanic and suddenly a good friend to me. Now I understood why Edward liked it so much to tune cars with her. When we both looked at his hardly driven motorbike we decided spontaneously to make a tour on the next day. My motorbike was again in La Push so I called Sam to ask him for permission Rosalie could drive me to Jake's garage for getting my motorbike. Since the Cullens and the wolves have fought together Victoria's army the borders indeed exist but they weren't so absolute than before. So I got his permission in an easy way.

As I woke up on Sunday morning I was looking forward to the motorbike tour with Rose. My sleep had been dreamless. Until now I was successful in displacing the last nightmare. But if I thought of it, I would still suffer from pain. I could hardly expect Edward's return. After that dream I wasn't longer angry with him because oft that chicken feed with Jake. A slight knock on Edward's door caught my attention. "Coming," I whispered still dozy. "Morning Bella, are you ready?" Rosalie's excited voice prompted me to hurry. "Give me five Minutes," I responded, getting dressed. "Okay, you'll find me downstairs, Bell," she called.

Having gotten my motorbike from La Push fun started to the full. Rose was a speed freak. We drove our bikes with an enormous speed along the roads that were almost empty. I had to struggle very hard to follow her. Edward's motorbike was much faster than mine, especially when Rose drove it. My behavior was reckless and stupid. I was still human and too breakable for driving that fast. But I enjoyed the speed too much for being reasonable. So I hoped Edward wouldn't meet Rose this night and read her mind. By now I liked spending time with Rose badly. In most cases she dealt with me as I was a vampire too. She wasn't so careful and didn't make me believe I needed a babysitter or any support. That gave me a feeling of independence. I liked it, I guessed much more than I should. Edward would kill her, if he knew she put me up to be reckless.

Speeding along an empty road behind Rose, I decided to have a break. Speaking it out loud was enough and she stopped.

"That was fun," I grinned at her.

"Yes, you're right," she nodded. "We should do that more often."

"Yeah," I breathed.

"For your next birthday you'll get a better motorbike," she announced. "And don't refuse!"

"You mean a faster one," I corrected her.

"We should take care of Edward's heart, he isn't the youngest anymore, you know. Let me think a saver one," she grinned diabolically.

I grinned back. She was really slyly but exactly after my fancy. "He will kill you, if he find out," I advised her.

"I will survive it," she said casually after a while. "You are great, Bell. I'm happy about you join my family although I would prefer you'll choose to stay human, you already know why," she looked at me seriously.

I nodded. "We are friends then," I asked.

She laughed, "More then friends, I guess."

After that long and fast ride I was dead on my feet. When we arrived at home it was almost dark. Rose pulled me off of my bike and got me upstairs again. Alice was walking next to us, blaming her. Rosalie rolled her eyes and said, "He won't find out." "He will and then you are in trouble. I won't help you. He is going to be furious," Alice said in a singing voice, stroking my hair. Then I fell asleep.

It was dark around me when I felt cool fingers, touching my forehead. "Edward," I mumbled, reaching for the hand the fingers belonged to. "No, Bell, it's me, Rose," a voice said quietly. I opened my eyes, looking at her face. "What is it, Rose," I asked with a husky voice. "Edward isn't back," she informed me. "Oh, I'm sure they will come back in the next hours. Don't worry," I tried to comfort her with a dog-tired glance. "No, Bell, you don't understand. The other have already arrived. Edward had decided to visit Tanya and her coven in Denali," Rose added. Now I was sitting straightly in the bed. "Tanya," I gasped, felling abruptly sick. Rose nodded. Then I jumped out of the bed and hurried downstairs, calling for Alice.