A/N: I can't resist! Writing clichés are the most fun I've had for a while. Aheehee.

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.: And More Clichés:.

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"Oi, Sasuke, why you have such pointy teeth?"

Sasuke chuckled, because it was a very Sasuke-like thing to do. "Because, Naruto…I am actually a vampire!"

"I don't believe it!" Naruto gasped.

Sasuke then bit Naruto on the neck and drank his blood- What, did you think he was just going to stare at him for the entire story? Oh, no, far from that. So he drank the blood of his soon-to-be-lover, enjoying the mewls and gasps Naruto gave in response.

Oh, wait! What was this? Was he actually enjoying it? (It was kind of like having tubes connected to your neck and draining your body of energy, but whatever. Naruto obviously had a sick, twisted interest in those things.) Sasuke smirked. (He never smiled- Never. It was not possible. He only smirked.) "Naruto, do you like it when I suck your blood?"

"I do not know, Sasuke," Naruto whimpered like a puppy dog. (Dogs whimper, right? Yes, so he whimpered, thus making him like a puppy dog.) "Why don't we have sex and find out?"

"What does sex have to do with anything?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto shrugged. "Sex has to do with everything, Sasuke. Now shut up and stick your-"

MESSAGE DISCONTINUED BECAUSE THAT'S IRONY AND IRONY IS VERY IRONIC IN STORIES LIKE THIS.

So Sasuke and Naruto had sex, and Naruto ended up becoming a mutant vampire thingy with five toes and braided hair.

That is, until he died. He died, and Sasuke got sad. "My precious little thing!" he cried, holding Naruto in his arms. It began raining. How angst-filled it was. "I haven't yet the chance to hold you through thunderstorms, because apparently you get afraid during them! Oh, woe is me!"

He took out his handy-dandy razor and started cutting himself up. He cried too. Then, he put on eyeliner to make it more efficient, so it was smeared all over his face and stuff. He cut himself so much his left arm fell off, and he couldn't cut anymore because the blood loss was too great. So he died too.

He and Naruto's very dead bodies stayed there until a magical pixie came along and brought Naruto back to life. Naruto then saw the dead Sasuke, started crying, and picked up the used razor. It was practically a gift from the gods! he thought, and began cutting himself.

He ended up with tetanus, so he didn't cut himself anymore. Instead, he went on to get a job at McDonalds, where he worked undercover as a secrety-secret agent.

And Sasuke- well, he was a very dead vampire from that day forward.

(UNTIL A UNICORN CAME ALONG AND MADE HIM ALL BETTER LOL)

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There are no words. And tell me anymore clichés. I'd be happy to write them out. :D Maybe I'll write something about all these chat-room stories...