AN: Thanks for the reviews! Glad people are enjoying this.

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.:Oh snap:.

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The truth is, Sasuke and Naruto were really in high school. Konoha High School- that was the name (because no one was original enough to think of anything else). And in secrety secret, Sasuke was really the lead singer of a rock/emo/grunge band that everyone in the entire world loved!

This band was huge. So huge, in fact, that Naruto never even noticed the lead singer, Sasuke Uchiha, was sitting in the same classroom as he. He never talked to anyone. But everyone liked him. God knows why- he had hair that looked like a four year-old put super glue and paint on a chicken, oversized T-shirts that made him look like he was trying to steal and smuggle things at the same time, and the most boring catch phrase anyone in the entire world has ever heard.

"You're such a loser."

Naruto rolled his eyes nonchalantly (what a fun word, by the way). "I hate emo pricks like you. Why can't you leave the nerdy, geeky, troublemaking kids, I.e. myself, alone?"

Yes, Naruto was the geek/nerd/troublemaker. He pulled pranks on the school and teachers all the time because really, he had no life. At home, he jacked off all alone and wished he had friends.

"Loser."

And then dozens of blood-thirsty fanfolds would push Naruto (poor Naruto!) out of the scene and smother Sasuke in attention that everyone knows wasn't deserved. Or earned. But whatever. "Oh, Sasuke-kun!" with the nice suffix. "We love you so much! Go on dates with us! Have sex with us all! At the same time! We'll do anything- wash your car, make you a sandwich, we'll even clean your poodle and paint its nails!"

(The last one almost convinced him.)

But Sasuke- oh, he was not swayed. He simply said, "No," and walked away. All the girls swooned. "OMG," they said, "he, like, talked to me!" Then they all spazzed and turned into a pile of pink goo.

It was gym class. Sasuke was a jock. A jock that could play instruments and sing. The mean kind too. He liked to beat up little kids and steal things from homeless people. Naruto was not a jock. He sucked at all sports because that's something ukes do. So of course, during basketball and baseball and football and soccer and tennis and golf, Sasuke whooped his little tush. Naruto was not happy. "I am not happy," he said.

"You're such a loser," Sasuke said.

After school that day, some kid somewhere threw a party. Sasuke went. Naruto did too. How lovely. Now, Sasuke's agent didn't really want him to go. But the raven (What the fuck do ravens have to do with Sasuke? What, was he a new species of bird or penguin or something?) was defiant, and he wanted to go! So he went.

At the party, there was lots of alcohol and music. Everyone was going crazy! Yeah! Then everyone started making out! Sasuke didn't though. He didn't like other people. He was asexual. Naruto looked at him. Then he looked away. No! He could not be feeling anything for that jock/musician/maybe vampire but definitely not gay dude rather than hate! He hated him. He hated him lots! He wished he would choke on something or get hit by a bus and die!

But then two surviving fan girls started giggling and squealing to themselves. Naruto ignored it though. That is, until he and Sasuke were pushed into the nearest closet (right beside them- how handy), and he heard the lock turn. He twisted the handle desperately. "Oh, shoot!" he would say in a K-T rated fic.

"Hey," Sasuke said to him.

Naruto looked behind him and saw Sasuke. He was smirking. Smirking like a fox, because that is cool symbolism. "Yeah? What is it, guy that I hate?"

Sasuke leaned close. "I'm going to kiss you now," he said huskily (Ha-ha, makes it sound like I just called him a Husky). Naruto nodded in understanding. Sasuke then kissed him, and Naruto gasped. Why did he gasp? No one knew. The blond was completely aware of the kiss. Gasping was the new fad, or somethin'. So he gasped, and he and Sasuke had lots and lots of hot, steamy, totally unexpected sex for the whole night and maybe next week but I don't know.

(Like I'm telling you.)

The point is, they did it for a long time. So long that Naruto called Sasuke "Mr. Hankey Pankey". Not really, but wouldn't that just be great?

The next whenever they woke up from having sex, Sasuke had a brilliant idea! "Hey Naruto, why don't you join my band?"

"I can't play anything, Sasuke. I is not talented." Naruto started to cry. How sad.

"In my eyes, you are!" Sasuke said. "You are the best thing in the entire world, and I love you."

Naruto smiled. "I love you too, Sasuke."

It was the sweetest and most and corn-filled moment EVAR.

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AN: I'm just glad people don't flame me for this. -laughs- I still have more clichés to write. Here's the ones you can expect in later chapters:

Rich Sasuke/Poor Naruto

Kyuubi the Hermaphrodite

Hot and Cold scenarios

Reincarnation

Any more suggestions:3