Five
Aaron felt faint, his eyes started to cloud and he staggered a few steps backward. His kid? This little girl, Blair's little girl was his? He mumbled trying to make sense of it all. And yet it wasn't shock that initially washed over him, it was just disappointment. She didn't come back for him because she cared, it was just because he'd knocked her up. He turned and walked towards the balcony, "Aaron? We need to-" Blair called,"I need a cigarette Blair" he snapped "That's what I need" he said slamming the balcony door shut. Blair sighed, she should've expected he'd be angry and surprised. Madison's stubby little hand remained in her's,"Mommy? Did we make him mad?" she whispered looking up at Blair with her gentle green eyes. This was Madison, so quiet, so kind and worrisome and so unlike Blair. " Honey why don't you sit on the couch and colour him a picture while I talk to him?" Blair replied. She nestled the little girl on the expensive suede with her crayon boxes and sheafs of paper and followed Aaron to the balcony. He was standing slouched at the railing, looking at her moodily with his hair ruffled and blowing smoke out his mouth. "Why?" he snapped "Just why Blair? Why did this happen? Why did you leave? Why didn't you tell me and why are you back?".
"I got pregnant because we slept together Aaron, I thought you'd figure that out. And I left because I was ashamed of who I'd become. I was ashamed of the fact that I'd stoop low enough to use you for sex, to get back at Nate and Serena. I dumped Nate just to toy with him and then I found Serena and him together and felt like the victim even though it was as much my fault as their's. Well maybe a weensy bit more their fault than mine. And well I'm back because firstly I got a job here a few weeks ago working for Blaze magazine and because I missed New York. It's my home, it always has been and eI never should've been gone so long." She whispered the last part and put a hand on his shoulder which he shrugged off,"You still didn't say why you didn't tell me about her. Does your Mom know? Or any of your old friends? Or Nate?" he demanded. " My Mom knows, I never told her who the father was and I told I was too ashamed for any one other than my blood family to know until I was ready. I guess Mom was a bit embarrassed about an unwed teen pregnancy too. And I haven't talked to anyone else, including Nate. Aaron you have to understand, I was in France with my Dad when I found out I was pregnant and my reaction was basically 'Holy shit I can't have a kid'. I was sure I wasn't going to keep her, I booked myself into the clinic dozens of times but I never could muster the courage to do it. I'm hardly the maternal type but this was a little person that belonged to me, I couldn't kill it. So then I told myself I'd have her adopted, I found a family and everything, my Dad begged me not to, he even said he and Dave would adopt her for me. Anyway when I went into labour and she was born and I held this warm little bundle for the first time, I just fell in love. It was more than I ever thought I felt for Nate. So I kept her. And I should have told you but I didn't want to come back, not yet, and I felt like by telling you I was punishing you for what happened which wasn't even your fault, I was drunk and sad and you were there for me. I would have ruined your relationship with Vanessa. I finally decided I had to come back because Maddy asked me once if her Dad was dead because she never met him. And if he wasn't dead did he not like her? I can't punish her for my mistakes anymore. And I am sorry" she finished. Aaron ran his hand through his hair, " What's she like?" he asked timidly. Blair smiled gently"Like you. She's not like me at all. She's thoughtful and shy and cares about everyone. She likes to draw and paint. She loves horses. Her accent is awful, it's a mixture of my upper class New York and middle class London where she grew up while I was in college. And I think you two would really hit it off" Aaron sniffed and nodded. "I still don't know if I can fully forgive you. And I want our parents to know who her father is" he said. Blair nodded and opened the balcony door. Aaron went inside to meet his daughter.