Six
"Serena darling you must try the goat cheese salad" Eleanor Waldorf Rose simpered over her menu at Trellis Café where she was having one of her sporadic luncheons with Serena Archibald. Serena was already ploughing through a butternut squash soup with helpings of white buttered rolls on the side which said to everyone that it's been said before but life truly is not fair. Serena was working a yummy nautical mummy look with a Tommy Hilfiger striped blue and pink dress, a white cashmere cardi and her voluminous tresses pulled into an elegant chignon. They ordered their meals, Caesar salad for Eleanor, filet mignon for Serena, and made small talk.
"How is Yale doing? I heard she was doing a violin solo in the school orchestra."
"She sure did, her and Chopin bind together like a silk tapestry when she plays. Poor Blair was never musical; she was more of an actress I suppose. Anyway dear how are you? I haven't spied too much of you on the social scene since you hit the second trimester."
"Well Natie wants me to take it easy, I'm due in three weeks" Serena said breathily.
Eleanor clapped her hands excitedly," Three weeks and you will have a glorious little replica of you and Nate! I can't believe how fast it has gone darling! It seems like only yesterday I was at your wedding. Actually it seems like only yesterday that you and Blair were having all those silly fights over Nate. If Blair hadn't left who knows how things would've turned out".
Serena bit her tongue and in her always calm happy demeanor replied "Who knows Eleanor?" The comment had stung a little because in truth, Serena really didn't know. Serena and Nate started dating on and off when Blair left. Serena felt like they were in love but too many times she had seen the look on his face when they were in the midst of sex, the searching look begging her to be someone else. He had cheated now and again of course but she forgave and they got married. Their wedding was beautiful, Jenny Humphrey, Kati Coates and Isabel Farkas were bridesmaids, Erik gave her away, and no one would've known that the happy couple had had a blazing argument that very morning.
Serena had been changing in her church dressing room, applying finishing touches to her flawless make up when Nate came in the door stony faced and somber. Serena grabbed her bathrobe, "Natie! Get out you're not supposed to see me before the wedding it's bad luck." She giggled, "Unless of course you want a little pre marital fumble!" Nate's lip quivered slightly,"Nate? What is it? What's wrong" Serena whispered, hoping it wasn't what she expected. "I just don't know Serena. I don't think I can do it" he whispered. Serena felt tears welling up potentially destroying her face so she turned to the mirror, "It's okay it's just nerves, jitters. It happens to everyone honey. Once it's over you'll feel fine because we're going to be happy together". She smoothed her dress and turned to him putting a hand on his cheek, he took it in his and dropped it "No I've felt like this for a while Serena. I don't think this is right, I'm not sure we're meant for each other".
"Why not? We've been together for so long. Since kids practically."
"Any doubt is too much Serena"
"This isn't about doubt. It's what it's always about. Her. Blair Waldorf." Serena started to raise her voice." You could never forget her ever. So you strung me along for years as the next best thing is that it Nate? And you decide on our wedding day to tell me you were wrong?" she yelled.
"That's not it at all. You're not so innocent yourself Serena. You weren't saying no. You never could to anyone especially me" Nate shouted coldly.
Serena felt punched, "How could you say that to me? I sacrificed me and Blair for me and you. And if you really loved her why did you keep running back to me?"
"Serena I just can't. I need time to think. Maybe it's too soon."
"Well it's too late to reconsider Nate."
"The guests will understand. We're rich enough to do this in a little while if we still want to"
"That's not what I mean. I wanted to wait until Hawaii to tell you but I'm pregnant" she blurted. Nate's expression dropped. Instead of an explosion of fury or even happiness he simply said quietly and evenly, "I see. I'll see you on the altar" and left the room. They had smiled and cut the cake and flew to Hawaii where they frolicked on the beach and made love every night. Serena neglected her pill and fell pregnant for real in Hawaii.
"Serena?" Eleanor prodded, Serena jerked back to reality," Excuse me what?" she said. "I said speaking of Blair, she got a job here in New York. I'm sure she'll be so glad to see you again". Serena's eyes bulged, Blair back? What would Nate do? What would she do? How could Blair see her this fat? "I'm sorry Eleanor I really must go lie down, excuse me" Serena apologized, exiting the restaurant quickly. Blair was back. Serena's first thoughts; shit shit and double shit.