A/N: alright guys, I'm pretty much writing this as I go along now, I know how I'm going to end it, I'm just trying to add a little bit of length onto it so I don't disappoint my readers but I'm thinking I'm going to end this story at 10 chapters with the possibility of an epilogue... I'm just anxious to get this one finished since I've got another idea that won't leave me alone (I've pretty much written that entire story in my head) but I'm not going to write it until I'm finished with this one. Let me know what you think!

i.L.L.

Chapter 9

When I woke up the next morning on the couch, I took a moment for me to realize my situation. When the memories came back to me, tears started to well up in my eyes. Pretty pathetic of me, huh? But what can I say, I'm mushy like that. But before the tears could fall out of my eyes, I heard a quiet knock on my door. I forced composure on my face before opening the door.

There was a cool breeze and the light sound of rain falling onto the pavement could be heard.

And there he was.

Drenched in rain he stood in front of my door. I was speechless. What could one say when someone you unrequitedly loved showed up covered in rain on your doorstep?

"I don't know why I'm here" he said in a confused voice, "I just went for a walk in the rain and I ended up here."

After a silence I realized it was my turn to talk but I still couldn't find my voice, I managed to let out a soft "Oh!" and stepped aside, allowing him inside, "Why don't you come in and dry off?"

"Very well" he said, walking in, hands in his pockets, back hunched over.

I went into the bathroom to get a towel. I handed it to him which he examined it as though it were the strangest thing in the world. "What am I suppose to do with this?" he asked.

What kind of question is that? How many things can one do with a towel? (Rhetorical question!) "Honestly!" I sighed and took the towel out of his hands and unfolded it, throwing it over his head and ruffling his hair. After a few minutes, his spiky raven hair was nearly dry. "Do you need some different clothes? You're probably freezing in that."

His dark eyes wondered up to the ceiling for a moment, thinking, before he said in his emotionless voice, "No, personally I'd rather not wear the clothes of a dead man."

I was shocked. I hadn't thought that far ahead. Of course Darrel's clothing was the only that would fit him and it was obvious that I had access to all of his clothing as we were engaged and anyone could guess that we lived together, not to mention it would be very awkward for him and myself for him to be wearing my fiancé's clothing two weeks after his death when my feelings for L were obvious to the both of us. If only his feelings were so well-known.

"I just don't want you to get sick." I explained. He nodded.

"Perhaps I'm over-exaggerating how strange it would be…" he pondered for a moment.

I went to the closet and was able to find a plain white shirt with long sleeves that I had never even seen Darrel wore. His pants weren't too unbearably wet and I doubt that any pair of Darrel's pants would fit him, he was so skinny.

I walked back into the living room where he was sitting and examining photos on the mantle. When he saw me coming with the new shirt, he started the process of taking off his soaking shirt.

I was surprised that someone as skinny and lanky as L could be so defined. His perfectly sculpted chest and arms were glistening from the moisture that soaked through his shirt and took all my might not to let my jaw drop.

This man was truly socially challenged. I suppose it came from all the years that he spent in that orphanage when I wasn't there or perhaps it happened gradually after I left and wasn't able to keep track of his behavior. Whatever the reason was, the fact was that he was standing in front of me shirtless and wet and more attractive than I had ever known him to be. I knew that I would be reliving this moment in my head multiple times after this but he thought that himself wearing Darrel's clothing would be strange? Was this not strange at all to him?

He looked up at me with those dark, emotionless eyes and reached one of his arms to take the shirt out of my hands. My first instinct was to resist and not give him the shirt. This caused my grip on the clothing to tighten. He must have noticed this because he gave me a questioning look. Once I was able to regain my thoughts, I released the shirt and he took it, putting his arms through the sleeves and pulling the shirt over his head and finally down to his waist, covering up his perfection.

"Thank you, Marie" he said, finally, breaking the tension, "you were right, this is better. Before, I had a 78 chance of catching some sort of illness."

I rolled my eyes, much like I did when we were younger, "you and your percentiles. I swear, certain parts about you are exactly the same and at other parts, it's like I'm talking to a completely different person than I knew" I said with a faint smile.

"I have changed, Marie, a lot" he stated. "And believe it or not, you have, also."

"I haven't changed at all," I mumbled.

"Quite the contrary," L mused, a finger in his mouth, thinking. "You've matured quite a bit over these years and you don't seem quite as foolish as you were before—"

"That simply comes with getting older" I interrupted.

The look of his annoyance soon passed from his face, he always hated be interrupted when he was speaking. "But you're so much stronger than you were back then, Marie. In all the years I knew you, I would have never guessed you could handle the death of a loved one so well. You've got your pride and you won't let anyone tarnish it." He said looking into my eyes.

Then I did what I swore I would never do in front of him again. The tears started coming. "I may look like I'm handling this well, but the truth is, I can put on a good act" I said, my voice squeaking from emotion. He looked at me with surprise. My knees started to shake and for the second time, they gave out except this time, he was too far away to catch me and I hit the floor with a 'thud'.

I wasn't alone on the floor for long. I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me into a comforting hug. I was too torn up to register that he was holding me again, I only thought of how life was cruel to give him back to me at a time like this.

"I'm sorry, Marie" he said, "I know that you and Darrel—"

"No." I cut him off, at the moment I didn't care if I irritated him, "It's not just that. It's you." I wheezed.

"Me?" he asked, confused.

"All this time, since I left, I've been waiting for you. Then I gave up and found Darrel and started to love him but now he's gone and I finally find you, who I wanted all along, at the most inopportune moment when I won't allow myself to have you!" I wailed against his chest but I was sure he caught every word judging by how stiff he had become.

"Marie…" he said, his voice, the softest I had heard it yet.

"I need you to… help me, L." I said, looking up at him, his face bewildered, "I need you to make me forget all of this!"

"I… can't" he said, weakly.

"Yes you can, I know you're the only one who can do that for me, only you can make it stop hurting!" I said, he looked slightly frightened by what I was saying, "Please?" I whispered to him. I felt a shiver run through him and I looked in his eyes, though he was trying to stay masked, an unknown emotion was starting to show in them.

I moved so slowly that he had time to think about it and make his decision as I wrapped my arms around his neck. When he didn't resist, I slowly pulled him closer. The emotion was now gone from his eyes and I feared that I would once again, come into contact with a statue of him.

But what I happened was very unstatue-like. Before I could even pull him to myself, I felt his lips crashing onto mine. He didn't bother taking his time or setting boundaries like he had before, his mouth moved ravenously over mine and he had immediately accomplished his task of making me forget because at that point, he was the only person in the world that existed for me.

Once the shock wore off, I kissed him back just as fiercely. His arms pulled me so tight against his chest that there was no resisting even if I had wanted to, yet his hands were still placed delicately on my back. I began to tug at the hem of the shirt he was wearing and he momentarily released me, allowing me to lift his shirt over his head. He raised his arms to allow the shirt to come off more easily and for the second time today, he was shirtless in front of me but in my opinion, this time was beetter better. My hands started memorizing the feeling of his chest and back outlining each of the defined muscles as he softly kissed my neck. I pulled him closer and managed to place a kiss on his collar bone and shoulder before his lips began to attack my jaw. My fingers ran through his raven hair and down his back. I found myself messing with the front of his pants as his delicate hands found their way up my shirt. I was perfectly content with what was happening.

Apparently, he wasn't.

Once he realized what I was doing with his pants and what he was doing up my shirt, he let out a sigh and pulled away.

"Marie," he said in his husky voice, out of breath, frowning at me, "I think that would be taking it a step further than what was required."

"How is it any different from what you were doing?" I asked, still gasping.

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

"I'm sorry, too" I said.

I was sorry.

Sorry he had such a strong hold on me.

A/N: Wow that was a long chapter compared to the others… nearly 2000 words! Sorry if I disappointed anyone in this one, but it just wouldn't be the same if they went any further, it wouldn't make the ending the same… which I think is going to be next chapter…

PLEASE REVIEW!

i.L.L.