This Life of Gray
PART 3
Renji swallows hard and asks me to pull over. "Ok Renji, but promise we you wont go ff and do something stupid!" I yell at him. "I won't just pull over unless you want puke in your car!!" I stop the car and Renji jumps out and gets on the ground, the rest was disgusting. I rush over and hold his hair above his head, my poor Renji, why is his life falling into pieces? He spits, and grabs a leaf to wipe his mouth off with. "Come on sweetie let's go home ok?" My mind is running a mile a minute; I don't really know what to say to him. But, how can this be, I've known him almost all my life, there's got to be something. We pull up outside of the house, and Renji hasn't said one word to me after that little pit stop we made. "How are you with this KiKi?" Renji looks down at his hands remembering Rukia's beloved smile. "Well I was never that close to her Renji and I don't really know how to deal with the situation just yet." I move the hair from his face, and I try to smile, but the energy wasn't right.
Renji takes my hand and rubs it against his cheek, I wonder how confused he is inside, I know he's really hurting and I probably shouldn't leave him alone for a while. "Ok let's go inside." I get out of the car and help him to the door. "I want to see the kitchen, did you clean it yet?" Renji's voice is rough. He holds into the wall and stumbles into the kitchen doorway. "All that blood is mine? I-I, I can't believe I went so suicidal!" Renji punches the wall. "Abarai! Stop it, you're only going to hurt yourself even more, so sit in the living room and I'll make you some lunch." He's acting so weird, he wants to let it out but it's like he has to be strong in front of me or something. I grab a pack of Ramen Noodles out of the cabinet, and read the directions. "KiKi?!" Renji calls out from the living room. "Yeah honey?" I pause, "Where's my cell, I want to call the soul society." "Are you sure that's a good idea right now?" Ignoring the sick feeling in my stomach, and run upstairs to get his phone, but I really think this isn't a good idea.
"Thank you." I hand Renji his phone and turn to go clean the kitchen up. Should I call Ichigo and tell him the news? Or should I let him find out on his own? Or maybe, he already knows? I'm confused in my thoughts I think I need to lay down. Almost telepathically Ichigo calls, I pick up the phone. "Hello?" There's no answer for a minute or two. "Uh, yeah, hey KiKi, I heard about Rukia, are you guys ok?" Sighing I tell him all what had happened, peeking around the corner at Renji ever five minutes or so. "Yeah, ok well I was just calling to check in on the two of you. I'll check back in a couple days. Later." I agree and hang up the phone. It's later now and I'm sitting in silence with Renji In the living room. I can't help but stare at him he's too quiet, I can't stand it, he's so sad. I still haven't thought of what exactly to say to him yet. "KiKi? Do you think maybe we could go to her funeral?" My eyes swell with tears for him. "Yeah Renji we can go I promise, when is it?" Renji swallows as a tear finally rolls down his face. "It's tomorrow, in the Soul Society." I nod my head yes. "Well Renji, it's late and I'm tired you can stay up if you like but…" "Don't leave me here yet… Please stay a little longer, for me..." My heart races in my chest, he doesn't want to be alone, he wants me here. But I can't get ahead of myself, he's in pain, he's not longing for me like I wish he was.