This Life of Gray
PART 5
I eventually let go of the door and take a seat on the steps outside. Why does he insist on hiding his feelings? Why can't he just scream and let it all out? "Momo, where do you think Renji would go at a time like this?" Momo sits next to me and shrugs. "Uhm, well let me think, I'm not quite sure." A few minutes later she comes up with a place in the Soul Society. A place covered in a thick wooded forest, where Renji first developed overly strong feelings for Rukia. He has always liked her but that place is where he confessed his lover for her. I'm running and it almost feels like my chest is going to collapse, which means there's high spiritual pressure. "Shields? I thought that was you!" Kenpachi came flying down from atop a building, "Hey Kenni!! I've missed you and little pink!" Kenni grabs me and pulls me into a giant hug. "Have you seen…" "Abarai Renji, yes he was headed in that direction. Hop on and I'll take you over there." So I do; I climb on his back and off he runs. We finally arrive at the place where Renji confessed his love for Rukia. "Ah, there he is, I'll leave you two to speak alone, eh?" I nod and thank Kenni for lending a hand.
"Renji-Sama; why did you run off like you did?" I kneel down beside him. "I couldn't take it is all…" I sigh and look down at the grass. If only he would open up to me. "Well you can't keep running from your problems Renji, you have to face them, you can't keep the issues bottled up inside." Renji looks into my eyes deeply and then looks the other way towards the woods. "I understand that completely. But Rukia, why was it her time, I loved her with just about all of my heart KiKi." My eyes water for him, since he can't cry, well he hasn't really tried. "I realize you loved her and you still do but stop sulking and live life to the fullest, use Rukia as an example of that." Renji takes my hand in his and hushes my tears, "Then stop crying for me and be happy, seeing you sad doesn't help me at all." He lifts his hand and places his fingers under my chin, lifting my head up. "Be happy for me, and I'll try to be happy as well." I nod and wipe the tears from my eyes. I can't take it anymore I wrap my arms around him. Renji hesitates and then finally places his arms around me.
"Do you want to say goodbye and then go home, or just go home?" I listen to Renji's heart beat slowly in his chest, almost like he's calmed down a little. "Let's just go home ok, I can't look at her, it hurts too much." I agree and he helps me up. We reach the gate and proceed through to the living world. "Hey it's about time you guys got back, I didn't want to sit here for a whole four minutes, and I have the shop to run." Mr. Hat n' Clogs says sarcastically. "Very funny; thank you for opening up the portal/gate thingy." Renji grabs my hand and we walk towards our home. When we arrive we stop Ichigo on the steps. "Hey Ichi, why are you here, all alone on top of that." "I was going to wait until you two got home, to check in and see how you were doing because no one was answering the phone." I look at Ichigo and smile as in a thank you for caring. "Well come on in and I'll make you some dinner." Ichigo politely turns down my offer and strolls down the street to head back home. "Well, I'll still cook for you Renji come on let's go inside." We step inside and Renji freezes in place about ten feet from the door way. "What is it Renji?" Renji hushes me and closes his eyes and spans his arms out from his body. "I feel her, its Rukia!" He stands there as a gust of air hits his body and he finally puts his arms down. "She told me to be brave and stop cowering in my sorrow, to make sure I never forget her, and most of all to love and take care of you, to never let you go." I blush and say thank you to Rukia in a muffled whisper.
Renji turns to me and hold his arms open. As if he's saying come here and I'll hold you forever in my arms. I run towards him and wrap my arms around him once more. "I think Rukia's right, I should love and protect you, I should love and protect you with my life KiKi, I've never thought of it until now. I do truly love you, and I'd give the world to make you happy. Will you have me then?" My whole body is frozen and numb. I've wanted to hear him say something like that all my life so far. "I was always here for you Renji, waiting for that day you would hopefully say something like that. I will have you by my side." Renji squeezes me tighter and looks down at me. "So you should go make dinner, I'm hungry." Happy moment over, gee Renji thanks for ruining it. "Oh sure boss man, right away, you love me huh?" "I never said I was going to treat you any different!" Renji yells after me like he thought I was serious.