Author Notes: Get ready, world! Here's comes Buffybot to put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo.

Five weeks later...

"How are we doing today, my dear?" John asked as he booted up his robot.

Springing to life, the Buffybot said directly, "I have to return to Willow. I need service."

John peered out from behind his wiring diagram.

"That's exactly the same thing you said yesterday," he remarked. The work he performed to correct her gyroscope imbalance, while outwardly successful, must not have been enough to return her internal sensor results to operational specifications. Either that or there was another error that he just hadn't been able to find. That was what the wiring diagram was for.

Still, John thought it was amazing what he'd been able to accomplish. He was able to learn from her that her name was Buffy, a contrived and silly name if ever he heard one. For the past two weeks this simulated girl was puttering about, only occasionally falling down, and able to carry on a conversation. Usually the conversation was about getting repairs and finding someone named Willow, who John surmised must either be the robot's previous owner or it's creator or mechanic or something. "And just what is the problem with you that needs service?" If the robot was so talkative maybe she could help him help herself.

She puttered, internal CPU working for several seconds, her eyes - those cleverly disguised digital cameras - focusing at infinity until the diagnostic operation was over. "I/O port 7 on 555 timer reading ground fault. Cause unknown."

Dammit. John opened her up again. That just didn't make any sense. It couldn't be the gyroscopes, since they were working, if not calibrated correctly. He used his multimeter to check the wires from her damaged left arm. Though some of the numbers were low there was nothing present that could be interpreted as a ground fault, or cause a ground fault somewhere else.

"I don't know if I can figure this out," he mumbled to himself. He would need some better diagnostic equipment if he was going to track down the problem. This was going to take time, unless it was just a damned loose wire. He sighed.

"I'm going to the store, Buffy. Stay put." John was preoccupied with his problem. He never stopped to think that this was the first time he ever left the robot activated while he was gone.

Stay put? Compute meaning: Stay: 1. be, keep, remain. 2. period of staying. 3. rope or a wire supporting a mast, pole, etc. Put: 1. move so as to be in a certain place or position. 2. see putt (golf). Extrapolate to mean remain moving so as to be in a certain place. Action acknowledged. Will continue to be in a certain place. Query: How does one not be in a certain place? Action undefined.

Buffybot did not like having relations with this John. It was unnecessary and he did not have Spike's sexy abs. Having sex with this man did not facilitate her priority task at this time. She needed to find Willow.

Search: homing device...

Homing device not found.

To locate Willow, Buffybot needed more information. She found John's telephone and dialed 411.

"I need to find Willow. She's my best friend and a witch. She's recently gay."

There was no response for several seconds. "Ummm... Okay..." said a tentative female voice. "Does Willow have a last name?"

"Yes, she does," said Buffybot. This conversation was proceeding in a logical manner. Again she waited for the 411 lady to speak, but there was nothing. Was she alright? Would this be an appropriate moment to contact emergency medical services? Buffybot was computing the likelihood of the woman needing medical attention when she spoke again.

"Hello?"

"Hello!" Buffybot said, cheerfully. Cancel computation.

"Well? What's Willow's last name?"

"Rosenberg." Buffybot heard typing in the telephone's earpiece.

"I'm sorry, miss. There's no Willow Rosenberg listed in the United States. Can I assist you in some other way?"

There was a possibility that the 411 lady could help her.

"Are you capable of repairing high voltage electro-mechanical systems controlled by an Assembly PIC and packaged within a humanoid-shaped polymer autonomous vehicle?"

"I'm sorry?"

"There is no need to apologize, 411 lady. Thank you for your time."

It was apparent that she would not find anyone who could help her track down Willow in John's house. Buffybot needed to go someplace where she could. Without another thought, she opened the door and stepped out into the real world.