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I have a problem with typing what I'm thinking in my mind so sometimes I think quicker than I can type so the words come out in a jumbled mess on paper. So I my spelling, grammar and sentencing are a little strange, cut me some slack because I AM trying….truly I am.

Disclaimers go as Usual…Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all it's characters, concepts and Overall greatness are too ingenious for my feeble mind to create…so All credit (except the occasional original character) Goes to the creator of Buffy….the Amazingly talented Joss Whedon ! And all his Co-creators…. I own nothing…. Hakudoushi

Chapter 1: Simple Life

"Willow?"

the voice seemed far off, and echoed in Willow's head. then everything came rushing back to her and pounded her mind. Pain shot to her head and she sat up with a scream. She was in her favorite pair of pajamas, the ones Tara had bought her for her birthday a few years back. She sat up in her bed frantically, a deep terror coursing through her veins and quickly took in her surroundings. Everything was unfamiliar for a moment's time. The Four poster bed with deep burgundy curtains pulled back in clumps in the bed frame. The round sky window that let in the slightest hint of morning sunlight that shone past the colored shaped crate paper that made colors in the floor beneath. The walls where white and covered in simple art that made the room beautiful and serene. There were bookshelves covered in a collection of vintage volumes, and adored with antique artifacts that let of a musky smell of age and ancient beauty. Willow finished scanning the room as everything became familiar once again and the veil of sleep wore off. Willow rubbed her eyes as the person sitting next to her came into focus. Willow felt like she had been socked in the stomach when she realized who was looking back at her. Bursts of fragmented memories that seemed like far off dreams surged through Willow's head. Memories of death and murder, Betrayal and retribution. It was maddening that Willow couldn't get her mind to rest for a moment and comprehend what she was looking at and what all these thoughts meant. They had never happened, Willow thought to her self.

"Honey, you look pale. Are you sick. Will, baby are you ok?"

Tara wasn't dead like Willow's head was telling her. Beautiful and gentle Tara was sitting right before her in her own pajamas with a look of worry and agony on her precious face. Willow shook her head. Tara had never been killed and Willow was sitting beneath the covers of the bed she shared with her dear lover and life partner. The false memories were quickly overcome with the truth as Willow remember the years she had spent living and loving Tara.

"Is everything ok? I heard screaming?"

Willow looked to the door of her room, which was slightly ajar. A curious face was looking in.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Willow had a nightmare I'm guessing."

Tara reached up and stroked Willow's cheek gently. Her touch, so warm and sincere was what brought Willow back to reality and away from her mind.

"Dawnie, I'm sorry I scared you!"

Willow said, sounding groggy. She patted the comforter on the bed and invited her to sit down. In her silk nighty and red slippers, Dawn scooted along the wooden floors to the grand bed where the three girls laughed and talked happily as though it were the normal morning routine.

Willow still felt lost. Though she could play the part almost perfectly, it seemed the memories of day to day life routine where written as she lived them. Dawn was to be at the bus stop at promptly 8am and Willow had to drive her there. She remembered that they lived in a rural home in Massachusetts. The small, and rather old house was occupied by Dawn who was turning 18 in the coming months, Willow who worked as a librarian at the local museum and Tara, whom Willow called 'waitress extraordinaire'. there were also three cats running around the farmstead, a dog or too who kept guard over the acres of land, chickens that had nested somewhere near the house long before Willow had ever moved in, and an old horse named Zen who also outdated the Rosenberg party by decades from the look of him. Xander was also a wholesome addition to the farm scenery. For a small price (which was food other than Anya's cooking), Xander fed the animals, and managed the land. Upon moving into the farm, the group had discovered a small house on the edge of the property that was once used for slaves in the 1800s. It was a shack that looked on the brink of hell, but with a little of Xander's expertise in construction and Anya's constant nagging, they managed to turn it into a little cottage where the Harris family could live. Willow churned over the memories in her head. It all seemed too perfect. She sighed as she sat at the breakfast table, her face tired and twisted with fatigue. It all seemed too perfect, but then she remembered the flaw in this 'simple' life. Her eyes darted to the kitchen wall which was treated like a shrine for memories. Photographs lined the walls, all of happy smiling faces and better times. There were pictures of Dawn first day at school and Willow and Xander by the stream as kids. There were Willow and Tara's wedding pictures, pictures of Xander and Anya greeting their new child into the world. There were pictures of the Scooby Gang at the grand opening of the Magic Shop and the graduation day photo which made Willow laugh each time. But the pictures that stood out the most where the ones with Buffy with a smile on her face and a spark in her eye. She was so beautiful, and it almost scared Willow how hard it was to choke back tears when glancing at the pictures. There were childhood photos of a cute Buffy with little blonde pigtails holding infant Dawn as a proud older sister, and her with scrapes on her knees as a rowdy school kid. There was a rare picture of her and Riley, an old boyfriend who had disappeared . There was one with her and Giles simply talking, and another with Joyce and Buffy in a silver frame that read "In Loving Memory"

"Will? You look distant"

Willow jumped, letting her cup of hot tea slop over the edge of her mug into her lap. She shrieked and spat out a spell that instantly removed the coffee stain and burning sensation from her legs. Xander was pushing through the kitchen door, carrying a box and a baby in his arms. Willow stood up, trying to look dignified.

"Xander, so nice of you to knock"

Willow said.

"I did. You were a million miles away"

Xander smiled and tried to shut the door with his full arms. It was hilarious watching Xander struggle and in the end he dropped the box which spilled apples all over the kitchen floor which amused the child in his arms. The little pigtailed blonde squealed with laughter and clapped her hands with delight as her father made a fool of himself yet again. Xander blushed and set the child down on the floor.

"Lexi, you're suppose to be on my side!"

Xander tasseled her hair.

"Sorry Will, you know how it is"

Xander leaned forehead and kissed Willow on the forehead. A simple, friendly peck from good old Xander, the man that brought spice to the lives of everyone who knew him. Lexi was like a female clone of Xander, personality wise, but had Anya's easy beauty and naive sense of wisdom that made her so tolerantly adorable.

"And where are Tara and Dawnie this morning?"

Willow was brought back from admiring her friend and looked around the empty kitchen.

"Tara had to work the morning shift and Dawnie is probably procrastinating…."

Willow stopped suddenly as Xander responded with a laugh. He was standing right in front of her, with his big goof smile and his eyes lit up, but for some reason Willow couldn't explain, he looked distant. It was as if she were seeing Xander through the eyes of another person. His voice seemed to echo and fade from her ears until all she heard were the faint remnants of a distant laugh.