Hi everyone. Sorry about the long wait for the update, but I've been busy and I really didn't want to write this story anymore, but I'm going to give it a try, because I try not to give up. Thank you to Darkangel1890, Bohimiangirl, and Littlemissrockstar1111 for your support and wanting me to continue. It means a lot. I don't know how this story will turn out, but it's all for you. Rosalie
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Meredith stared out the window, not even aware that she was doing so. She was so lost in her thoughts. And it was all the time too. She didn't seem to be able to focus on anything anymore. Her mind would wander back to Derek, and what had happened. Her stomach turned when she thought about that. She hadn't really...realized it yet. It was hard when he kept staring her in the face.
When she slept at night visions of those few days she had lost went through her mind, so many times she wished she'd forget them again. The hardest thing was seeing him, hearing his voice...when he had actually talked to her. Not his ghost or a figment of her imagination. When it was him. And she had been angry at him. That went through her mind more than anything. Telling him to hurry on the phone. And he did, and look where it got him. Definitely not where she wanted him to go. More where she wanted to go herself.
The door opened. Meredith did not even notice this. She was completely oblivious to the world around her. She heard someone clear their throat from far away and jumped. She turned around quickly to see her friends standing there, looking strangely optimistic, though she knew it was fake. Underneath their fake smiles were the looks of uncertainy that they always gave her these dats. They were the ones that questioned her sanity and whether or not she would freak out on them. This alone angered her. She was still Meredith. This was only a phase, only a little knot in time that she was currently working to untie before she got stuck there forever.
"Are you ready?" Izzie asked with her fake grin, wanting to be supportive. Meredith appreciated it, but that didn't mean that she didn't get an urge to fit her across the face and say something to wake her up. Stop treating her like a child.
"I'm more than ready," she said instead, and that was very true. She was going home today. They were finally letting her out of this place that made her more crazy than anything else did. "Are we leaving now?"
"Yeah," George said. For a moment she was actuallly afraid to leave. What were people going to say when they saw her? Everyone had to know, they aleady were probably talking about her. Now she took the place as the crazy one. And what about work? They wouldn't let her come back, not at this point. She hadn't thought of these things before this moment. She was always thinking about everything else. Now everything else was coming back to smack her in the face.
"Are you coming?" Cristina asked. "You've been bugging forever to leave."
It was Meredith's turn to put on the fake smile. "Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking."
The others looked at each other, only for a second. But Meredith still noticed. They didn't trust anything she did anymore. To them she was probably having conversations with Derek in her head.
"Let's go," she said, and left the room that had been forced to be her home for way too long.
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When Meredith arrived back at her house, it was like it was a whole other world. It was strange to be back there. It was like this place had been a dream for so long, and now here she was, back where she had said she wanted to be. But she remembered this was the last place she spoke to Derek-the real one at least-and it made her feel slightly uncomfortable.
She stood in the hallway for a moment, letting everything sink in. The others came in behind her and seemed to be waiting foe her to say or do something. She then turned around quickly, making them jump, surprized at her sudden action.
"I'm going upstairs," she said, and turned back around and headed up the stairs.
"Mer? Do you need-?"
"No," she said without looking at them, and continued on her way. Izzie looked at George uncomfortably, but Cristina said, "Just let her go. Give her some time to herself."
Meredith opened the to her bedroom. She stood in the doorway and saw Derek waiting for her on her bed. He smiled, but she ignored him and went to put her things away, because she did not know what else to do. Maybe ignoring the problem would make it better.
"I've been waiting for you," he said, but she did not turn to face him. "You aren't going to say anything?"
She said nothing. She wanted to say something, tell him to go away and let her move on, but ignoring him was what she did. For now. Until he gave up, if he ever did.