Not Letting You Go

Chapter 2

"CHARLIE!!!"

Margaret's scream, over the sound of the 'Code Blue' announcement, caught the attention of both Alan and Donnie. His mother's cry snapped Donnie's thoughts back into focus. He was up and running before either Alan or the nurse realized.

"CHARLIE!!!", he called out, mirroring his mother's own anguished cry, as he ran past her and through the forbidden doors of the trauma unit. Alan and the nurse were quickly on his heels. Donnie froze at the door, watching as nearly a dozen people worked frantically to save his brother's life.

"NO CHARLIE!," He cried, feeling a pressure on his shoulder, but not acknowledging his father's presence beside him. They watched as Charlie again reacted to the current being sent to his heart. "Don't You Give Up CHARLIE!!!" Donnie watched as the third shock was sent, painfully arching the small form off the exam table, "I need you Charlie……I Love You!!!……Don't You Leave Me!!!!!"

Donnie had been struggling against his father's grip, but that grip was now replaced by a firmer one, "Sir, you have to leave, you can't be back here…..now, sir." The security guard seemed to materialize from nowhere, but now he had a hold of Donnie's arm, pulling him through the door.

"I Love You Charlie…..DON'T….." Don continued to struggle against the guard's grip, who nonetheless gently, but firmly pushed him through the doors and up against the wall outside them.

"Donnie….Donnie, please", his mother was pleading with him, "Calm down." He didn't listen as he continued to struggle, needing to be with his brother.

"Sir, if you don't stop, I'll have to ask you to leave the hospital."

That got his attention. Alan gently pushed the guard aside and took his son's face in his hands. "Donnie, listen to me," Alan's remarkably calm voice, hiding all the emotion he was feeling, had a soothing effect on his son, "You have to calm down, this isn't helping Charlie. They will make you leave if you don't." Donnie looked at his father, understanding crossing his face. He felt a gentle touch on his hand as for the first time that night he truly looked at his mother.

"Donnie, please." Tears were streaming down her face, her emotion-laced whisper getting his attention.

He'd never seen her like this, she seemed so vulnerable, so terrified, "Mom?" He pulled her to him and held her, "Mom, I'm sorry….It's my fault." He cried into his mother's shoulder as he felt her hold him tight. "No baby, no" she whispered.

The security guard backed away, sensing the young man before him was no longer going to be a problem. He glanced back at the grieving family as he walked away, watching the father step up and wrap his arms around the remaining members of his family. His mind drifting to the sleeping children he had at home waiting for him. His children were younger, but the older one did show the same type of protectiveness toward the baby. He couldn't imagine how his family would react to the life and death struggle this one is enduring. He silently sent up a prayer for the family, then stepped toward the nurse's desk to find a phone. He felt the need to let his family know he loved them.

After a few moments the three made their way to a row of waiting room chairs. Margaret sat between Alan and Donnie, whose hand still gripped hers tightly. The nurse who had followed Donnie approached him with the notebook that he had discarded in her hand. "You dropped this," With a shaking hand he took it. Giving him a sympathetic look, one she had mastered after years of emergency room work, she offered a quiet, "I'm sorry," then turned, walking away.

Margaret watched the nurse leave, her attention turning toward Donnie, "What is that?" She whispered. He looked at her, then his eyes met his father's. Alan remembered what Donnie said was contained in that notebook, "Son, let me have it."

"Alan, what is it?" Margaret's voice took on a more confused tone. She could tell by the way they were acting that there was something about the notebook that they didn't want her to see.

"I really don't think right now…."

His protest was cut off as Margaret's voice became stronger, "What Is It?" She reached out for it as Donnie tried to pass it to his father, neither expecting her to grab it from Alan's grasp. They watched as she started reading the scribbled words that covered the page, her face paled, not believing her baby had wrote this. She started shaking her head, murmuring to herself. "No……Oh God…..How could he think that?….." she looked up, then, at Alan then Donnie. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at her son. Donnie saw something flash in his mother's eye. When she spoke again, her voice was unexpectedly angry.

"What did you do?!" Donnie just looked at her, confused. She raged on. "What did you say to him?!"

Donnie knew deep down that his mother wasn't truly blaming him, but her words were hurting like nothing had ever hurt him in his life. "Mom….I…."

"He thinks he ruined your life…..Is that what you tell him?!" She was on her feet now, looking down at him. Donnie had never seen his mother so angry.

"Mom….No…..I"

A loud smack stopped his words, as his head snapped to the right. Alan was on his feet in an instant, pulling Margaret back a few steps, "MARGARET!" He'd never raised his voice to his wife, but he had never seen her lay a hand on one of the boys, either. Donnie's hand had automatically gone to his cheek as he brought his head back around looking up, tears in his eyes, stunned, at his mother. The anger that had just been on her face was now replaced with fear and shock. Shock at what she had just done. She looked into Alan's face and saw anger there. He had never truly been angry with her, "Margaret, that was uncalled for…" He released her arm and looked at Donnie, eye's full of concern, "Son?"

Donnie still sat with a stunned expression on his face. His mother, who had hardly ever raised her voice at him in his near eighteen years, had just struck him. He looked up at her with tears trailing down his face, "I'm sorry." He whispered out, unsure what else to say. He stood, pushing by his parents, heading toward the hospital entrance.

"DONNIE!!" Margaret called after him, but Alan held her back, "God I'm so sorry, Alan I didn't….." Alan stopped her, "You need to give him a minute, he won't leave."

"How do you know?…I never meant…." Margaret started crying again.

"He won't leave because his brother needs him," Alan answered, taking Margaret into his arms. He prayed that what was happening wasn't tearing his family apart for good. Alan stood holding his wife, watching his son walk out the doors of the hospital, torn as to what to do, when he heard the words they had been waiting to hear:

"Family of Charlie Eppes?"