Thank you for reviewing. I'm glad I still have some of you reading. Special thatnks to bohimiangirl, MissRe, and Darkangel1890 who are my usual reviewers, and thank you to bohimiangirl and Darkangel1890 for your advice and opinions. It means a lot to me guys:)

I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Rosalie

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Regret does terrible things to people. Guilt does terrible things to people. It eats them alive and till you aren't able to handle it anymore and you break. You think of what could have happened if it weren't for you, or what you could have started or stopped. Some people find ways to deal with these feelings. Maybe they do something about it, try to make things right. But as I said before, it also eats some people alive until they aren't themselves anymore.

Meredith Grey was one of those people.

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George and Izzie were standing outside her bathroom door , trying to get her to come out and talk. They had been there for some time now and were not giving up. Meredith wanted to go out there and yell at them, but she was of course refusing to leave the bathroom. She wanted nothing to do with them or anybody else. They didn't understand. She had killed the man she loved. Not directly but close enough. As he had said, it was her who made him hurry home. She was the one that cause him to crash into that other car and cost him his life. And he was such a great person. He was kind and brave and good. He was everything she or anyone else could ever ask for. And she took him out of this life because of her selfishness. What kind of a person was she?

"Didn't she like freak out in surgery today?" she heard Izzie ask George.

"That's what I heard," he answered, and Meredith felt anger swelling up inside of her. "Maybe that's why she's acting this way."

"But she's never freaked out in surgery before."

"Well that was her first really stressful surgery- "

"But still, after all she's been through. And the year anniversary of- "

They stopped as they heard the door unlock. A second later it swung open and they had to jump out of the way so they wouldn't get hit. Then Meredith was standing in the doorway. They had never seen her tat way before. She looked mad. And more than one kind of mad.

"So you just talk about me like that?" she said, advancing toward them. They both backed away further and looked quite frightened. This just made her more upset. Now her friends were afraid of her. How could she call them friends if they didnt want her near them? They probably blamed her too and just never mentioned it to her. They probably talked about it behind her back. They proved just now that they liked to do that.

"Mer," Izzie said carefully. "We just wanted to make sure you were okay."

She laughed, and it was a scary sound. They didn't understand. She had been fine all this time. And now she was worse than before. Why did she have this relapse so suddenly?

"Maybe you should just sit down," George suggested. "We can all sit and just talk about this. No need to get upset."

"I don't want to talk to you anymore than you really want to talk to me," Meredith told them, and after a moment of consideration she merely pushed passed them. They followed her.

"We want to talk to you," Izzie said quickly.

"It's you who doesn't want to talk to us!" George said as they reached the stairs. "Meredith- "

he stepped in front of her, blocking her way. "Come on. Let's just- "

Why wouldn't they just let her be? How many times would she have to tell them that she wanted nothing to do with them? They were stupid, that was what they were. They couldn't take a hint. They were always so nosy.

"I said I don't want to talk with you," she said in a frightening voice. George didn't want to talk to her at that second anymore either. "I don't want to sit with you, I don't want anything to do with you. So just get out of my way!"

The last part she screamed loudly, startling her friends. George went to do as she wished and get out of her way, but Meredith in her rage thought she'd handle it for herself; she grabbed his shoulder and pushed him wit conciderable strength, making him lose balance and crash down the stairs.

"George!" Izzie cried from behind her, and Meredith turned to look at her. She did not look frightened or sorry for what she did. She gave Izzie more of a I told him to get out of my way so there look and went down the stairs, walking around George as she did so with Izzie speeding along behind her. But she did not follow Meredith out the door, which she was happy about. She went outside and got back into her car. She sat there for a moment, unsure of where to go or what to do. But she could not sat y here with these people hounding her. She had to go.

So she did.