Thanks so much for the feedback everybody! I really appreciate it! This second part was kind of my baby, so I nitpicked it to death. It gives a little more insight as to why Jude is on a downward spiral. I hope it's alright and that everybody enjoys it! This part contains a bit more language than the last one, so you've been warned.
Thanks must go to my beta, gwynwhyver! She got an inconsistency, so thanks!
Also, something you should all know that I forgot to mention in the first post is that there's no little girl involved in this story. Tommy just left and that was it.
Also, there might be a sequel to this, depending on the feedback these next two parts receive. I've got ideas spinning around in my head, so we'll see.
Now on with the story. Here it is, part dos.
Please let me know what you all think! I'm always anxious to see my reader's opinions. They make my day.
HALO
Part 2
I always said that I would make mistakes,
I'm only human, and that's my saving grace
She froze, her eyes widening at the sound of that voice. She'd know it anywhere. She immediately shut her eyes, not wanting to see him. Make him go away, she thought desperately. Let this be my imagination. The last thing she had ever expected was for him to show up. After all, he said he wasn't coming back, so why the hell was he here?
"I said what are you doing?" He walked over to her and pulled her up off the couch, lightly shaking her, forcing her eyes to fly open at the contact. He looked angry—angrier than she had ever seen him. "Answer me, damn it. What the hell is this?" he said as he grabbed the rest of the coke from the coffee table and waved it in her face.
Her eyes traveled over his body, taking the almost unfamiliar sight of him in. He looked older, worn out, and just plain exhausted. There were a few wrinkles on his face that hadn't been there before, but if anything, they just enhanced his features. He had new stubble and Jude angrily acknowledged that it made him look even sexier, when normally she found that look to be skuzzy.
She finally found her voice and remembered that she was angry with him. "None of your business, asshole."
He blinked, momentarily taken aback by her poor attitude, but quickly pulled himself together. "You were about to do coke in my office. How is that not my business?"
"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was still your office. I thought you had to actually be here in order to have one of those."
His jaw clenched and he backed away from her, clearly frustrated by this new faucet of her personality. She knew he was going to try and get the old Jude to come out, that he was going to try to get her to talk to him, but she wasn't going to give into him. She wouldn't.
"What's going on with you?" he demanded.
She rolled her eyes at how predictable he was. He was a mystery to her. Sometimes he was so hard to read; other times, like now, she could read him like an open book. "As I said already. It's not any of your business. Now if you'll excuse me…" she started to grab her things and head out the door. Just as she had gotten to the exit, he quickly beat her to the door and slammed it shut, blocking her path.
"Like hell," he spat.
"Move away from the damn door, Tom. I have places to go."
Now he rolled his eyes and she wanted to kick him in the shins. She watched as he grabbed the bag of coke again and poured the contents on the floor. Her jaw clenched, angry that he did it, but somehow, unsurprised. "Somehow, I find that hard to believe, considering you were about to snort a line of coke in my office. Unless you're just leaving so you can go get high somewhere else, is that it?"
"Who the hell do you think you are?" She was surprisingly calm as she spoke. She kept her tone at a low decimal and couldn't quite believe that she was pulling this facade that she didn't feel off. "You left. Nobody could get a hold of you. And then, you come back here, out of the blue, thinking that you have a clue? Well you don't! Who are you to judge me and make assumptions like that? My life is no longer your concern, Quincy! So butt out!" she screamed. Towards the end of her little speech, her true emotions finally started to come out and she was unable to hold back any longer. She felt the anger coursing through her body, threatening to eat her alive. Who was he to come back here and demand an explanation?
He laughed and shook his head. "Same old Jude. You—"
I fall as hard as I try
So don't be blinded
"I'm not the same! I'm not the Jude Harrison you left behind, so don't come in here and act like you know me, because you don't!"
"But I do know you, Big Eyes."
"Don't call me that," she stated through clenched teeth.
He ignored her and continued on with his little spiel. "Believe me, I've been well informed of the goings-on in your life. I'm far from ignorant as to how you've 'changed.' But we're going to get one thing straight. It's going to stop right now," he stated confidently.
Jude was indignant. "You're not my boss—"
"Actually, I am," he replied smugly. Silence filled the room, the only audible sound being the clicking of his shoes on the wood as he walked over to his desk, apparently confident that she wouldn't try and escape. Well, he would be correct in his assumptions because she was too curious to know what was going on to leave.
Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. "What the hell are you talking about?"
He snickered and leaned on the edge of his desk. "Well, apparently your new work has been so shitty that Darius felt the need to bring me back from my home in Chicago. He called me a week ago, asking me to come back here to see if we could get something salvageable out of you. So you see, I'm your producer again, which, therefore, makes me your boss."
Chicago. So that's where he'd been for the past four months. He'd gone to the U.S., a completely different country, leaving everything behind here, not once giving it a second thought. It hurt more than she wanted to acknowledge. They had been a team, close friends, or so she thought, and he had tossed it aside so effortlessly. People had always told her that he was selfish and didn't know how to hold a stable relationship, romantic or otherwise, but would she listen to them? No. She was Jude and she thought she knew best. Well, 'fool me once, shame on you… fool me twice, shame on me.' She wasn't about to be fooled a third time.
She had to talk to Darius about this. She couldn't work with Quincy again. And more importantly, she wouldn't. So he could just scurry back to Chicago for all she cared. Good riddance. "Screw you. There's no way in hell I'm working with you again."
His eyes twinkled with amusement. There was a mocking glint to them, giving off the air of the familiar child-hood taunt 'I-know-something-you-don't-know.' It was as if he could guess what she was thinking because he tilted his head to the side and asked, "Want to know?" She remained silent, unwilling to play the game. "Come on, girl—"
"Don't—"
"You know want to."
"—call me that."
He rolled his eyes, walked behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders, and leaned his head over her shoulder. "Guess again," he whispered. His statement momentarily confused her, but the confusion only lasted about a millisecond. She had other things on her mind. Like the contact his hands were making on her skin. It left tingles all over her body; she could feel his breath on her skin and her resolve was starting to crumble. Her confusion about his earlier statement was cleared up with his next statement. "If you don't work with me, you're done."
She froze. "What?"
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him nod. "That's right. New orders from Big D himself. If you don't cooperate, you no longer have a job at G-Major." He removed his hands and walked back in front of her, intently studying her as if he were trying to anticipate her reaction.
She carefully weighed her options at this newfound information. Maybe it was time for her to quit. If her boss could bring back the bane of her existence and force her to work with him, then who the hell needed this place? Everybody had left her anyway. Her dad left when she was just barely sixteen, Kat had decided she couldn't be friends with her anymore because she was too successful and was constantly jealous, her mother left the country to be with her divorce lawyer, Tommy left, she and Jamie weren't talking anymore, even Sadie had left, well not physically, but she wasn't there anymore. Jude had made quick work of pushing her away because she had been so certain that Sadie would eventually just give up anyway, and figured it would be easier if she pushed it, that way it would hurt less when the inevitable happened. And she had been right. Sadie did give up.
Everybody she had ever cared about abandoned her, so really, what did she have? She could just leave, take her money with her, and never look back. She had made such a mess of things here, anyway. It would be a chance for her to start over after she created the hole she dug for herself.
She thought back to how things had gotten this bad. Aside from the night of her record release party, things weren't bad after he had left. She had been surprisingly okay after the night at Barrie. Things had slowly started to return to normal and she felt okay. In fact, she was better than okay. She was writing some kick-ass songs and her album sales were still climbing. She had been on top of the world, despite the fact that her producer, her partner, her best friend had left. She was good; life was good.
And then she got the envelope. The package that ruined her. She had hated the idea that somebody else was trying to be in control of her life after she had worked so hard to pull it together, so she had decided to take matters into her own hands. She placed the pictures on her own website, refusing to let some complete stranger dictate her life. But her plan backfired. After she had put those pictures up, her reputation was ruined. She had zero credibility and everybody thought she was some two-bit whore. So she stopped trying to live up to the 'golden girl' image she had established for herself and embraced the rockstar cliché life. She hadn't seen the point in trying to fight it anymore and at least this way she got to have some fun.
And it had been great fun. Her life was carefree now. The only thing she let herself worry about was when the next decent party was. She was having fun and it felt great to not give a rat's ass anymore. But, she supposed it was as they said… all good things must come to an end. She couldn't believe she was in jeopardy of being put on the chopping block. Although, she supposed it wasn't entirely shocking if she were honest with herself. She was costing Darius money and she was actually surprised she still even had a job.
She sighed and quickly realized that even though things were bad right now, if she were to lose her job, things would get even worse. She knew that; she knew she could never quit her music. But she didn't know if she could work with him again. She wasn't prepared to lay it all out on the line as she had when she was sixteen. She wasn't that naïve girl who believed in fairy-tales anymore. She was in touch with reality, and the reality of her life was that if she trusted anyone, they would throw it back in her face, leaving her to pick up the pieces.
She had been so lost in thought that she hadn't noticed Tommy inching closer to her, so she was surprised by the sudden contact his hand made with her cheek. It was then that she realized he was wiping a stray tear that she hadn't even felt escape. "Jude," he whispered. "Talk to me."
She avoided his eyes, knowing that if she were to look directly into them that she would crack. His eyes had always been like weapons to her; he had always been able to persuade her to do anything with those tantalizing blue orbs.
See me as I really am
I have flaws and sometimes I even sin
She quickly pulled away from his grasp, unable to stand the electricity that jolted through her body any longer. "I tried that already," she declared vehemently. "I guess you forgot how to pick up a ringing phone while you were in Chicago."
"I'm—"
"Don't even say you're sorry, Quincy. I don't want to hear it." She was livid that he thought he could make this all better with a simple 'I'm sorry.' That just wasn't going to cut it this time. He wasn't going to be able to give her one of his puppy dog looks that he had mastered and make her cave.
"What do you want me to do then? Huh?"
She thought about it and realized that there really wasn't anything for him to do. There wasn't anything he could do to repair the damage he had caused to their friendship. For months, she had wanted nothing more than for him to materialize in front of her and now that he was here, she wanted him out of her life again. She wasn't prepared to let him back in again. So she said the only thing she could think of to say. "I want you to leave. I want you to go back to Chicago and make good on what you said the night you left. Don't come back."
She was surprised when she saw a flash of hurt filter through his eyes. "You don't mean that," he whispered.
"Actually, I do," but she knew in her heart that she didn't. She figured if he left now, it would be easier. She couldn't let herself get attached to him again because she knew if he were to stay that that's exactly what would happen.
Anger quickly replaced the hurt on his features. He was absolutely livid. "Well I'm not going anywhere, so get used to it!" Jude blinked in surprise. Did he just say 'no'? As she studied him, unable to think of anything to say, she realized that in a nanosecond, he had reverted back to the Tom Quincy she had first met. He was, once again, the closed off, unreadable, if-you-look-at-me-the-wrong-way-I'll-punch-you-in-the-face Tom Quincy. "Go home. You need to get some sleep. Your studio time is seven a.m."
"What?!" He had never made her come to the studio that early before! He hated mornings just as much as she did!
"You heard me, Harrison. Now get out of my office and go home." She gritted her teeth, but grabbed her things anyway and headed for the door. "Oh and Jude." She paused with her hand on the doorknob. "This conversation is far from over. If you think I'm letting you get away with this bullshit that easily after what I saw tonight, guess again. We will talk about this."
She didn't reply as she headed out the door. She was frustrated and angry, so she slammed the door behind her as she left and let out a satisfied smirk when she heard him let out a curse as a picture fell off the wall. He may be her boss again, but she sure as hell wasn't going to make it easy for him.
So pull me from that pedestal
I don't belong there
Tommy let out a frustrated curse as he went to go hang the picture back up on the wall. After the picture was in its rightful position, he then proceeded to clean up the sugary-white substance he had spilled moments earlier. God, he couldn't believe there was even coke on the floor to begin with. Darius had said it was bad, but he didn't think… he shook his head, letting the thought trail off.
Needless to say, he was shocked as hell when he had come back to his office to find Jude Harrison getting ready to do a line of coke. He had always thought her to be above that; he had always wanted her to be. He didn't want her to get into the same shit that he had when he first joined up with the Boyz. He had been weak and had nearly gotten addicted to that junk. It had almost ruined his life… it had turned him into a guy that he wanted to forget ever existed.
There was so much about him that she had no clue about and he didn't want her to ever find out. He didn't know if he could handle the disappointment that would be sure to grace her features. Before he had left that night, she had held him in such high regards; she had believed in him and sometimes he didn't know if he had always deserved it.
When he saw that stuff getting ready to go up her nose, his heart practically stopped. It was then that he realized he had failed her. He was supposed to be her mentor, the one person that she could always come to and he let her down. She didn't trust him anymore and he didn't know if she ever would again.
Not that he wouldn't deserve that. He couldn't believe his own coldness at the 'goodbye' he gave her, especially after knowing how many people had abandoned her in her life. Sometimes he thought if he could ever get a hold of Stuart Harrison that he would strangle the man with his bear hands. He had been Jude's hero and he just left his family to be with his mistress, hardly ever bothering to call or check up on his girls. And then, less than a year later, her best friend called it quits with her and then her mother does the same thing. She left.
And less than a month after her mother fled the country, he left her with barely a goodbye.
He groaned. He was an ass. It was as simple as that.
But to be fair, he didn't know that his leaving would have catastrophic result. And maybe he was sounding egotistical in presuming that her spiraling out of control was because of his leaving, but he had a sneaking suspicion that it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Or that it at least had a profound impact. After all, he knew that she looked up to him, cared about him, considered him to be a close friend, and what's he do? He throws it back in her face because he's a fucking coward, that's what.
The night of their would-be date still sends chills down his spine. The big, scary-looking bouncer type was his father's bodyguard. That's right. His father had a fucking bodyguard for crying out loud. How ridiculous was that?
But, he supposed it was for good reason since he came from a very prominent, wealthy family. He thought back to the fight that he got into with him that night.
"Thomas."
He stiffened, knowing immediately who it was without even turning around. "I would say that it was good to see you, but I would be lying if I did that. Go away, Louis."
"I'm afraid I can't do that Mr. DuTois."
Tommy clenched his teeth, still refusing to look at him. "It's Quincy. I'm not a DuTois anymore. Remember? Jonathan made sure of that."
Louis ignored him, as he often did. He and Jonathan were like two peas in a freaking pod. "All past squabbles aside, I'm going to need you to come with me."
Now he did turn on Louis, angry that he thought he could waltz in here and drag him away from his home. "Like hell I'm going to go with you! You see that girl up there?" he pointed up to the stage, but Louis wasn't paying attention. "This is my life now. I'm her producer and you know what, I'm in love with her and I'm not abandoning her at the drop of a hat like I know you want me to!" He blinked. It was the first time he had ever admitted that he loved her. And he admitted it to his ass of a father's bodyguard.
But Louis seemed un-phased and continued on. "If you don't come with me, I'll be forced to reveal past discretions of yours to this 'girl' that would ensure you would want to come with me afterwards. You know she wouldn't look at you the same way. They never do. Do you understand, Thomas?"
Tommy didn't say anything, but complied, knowing that Louis wouldn't hesitate to tell Jude those horror stories of his misspent youth. He stormed out of the hall in a rage, not being able to look Jude in the eyes…
He really was a coward. He should have just told her the truth and then he wouldn't be in this mess. She wouldn't be in this mess. Or, at least, he was almost positive she wouldn't be acting this way.
This new Jude was a Jude that he didn't necessarily like. Sure, he still loved her, but he missed seeing the sparkle in her eyes, the smile that he loved, the glowing, radiant skin that had now turned dull. He wanted his girl back. He didn't know how he was going to do it, but he would find a way to bring her back. He had to. He loved her. And he wasn't going to give up.
One thing is clear
I wear a halo
The next three weeks were so monotonous Tommy wanted to shoot himself. Everyday, he would get up, go to the studio, try and talk to Jude but get ignored, go home and have a beer to try and relieve some of the tension in his body, go to bed, then get up and do the same thing all over again.
He was growing frustrated and impatient. Jude wouldn't talk to him unless it pertained to work and he never had the opportunity to talk about the coke incident. And he never told anybody else about it, not even Kwest.
Sadie was suspicious that he and Jude had spoken before he arrived for his first day of work because her sister's actions were un-Jude like, apparently. She was being completely professional and shocking the hell out of everybody. Sadie had questioned Tommy about this and he had simply shrugged his shoulders and told her that he had no idea what was going on with her. Which wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth, either. He had a feeling that if Sadie knew that her sister was trying to get into drugs that there would be hell to pay. And he didn't particularly want to be on the receiving end of her wrath again. He had had enough of that when they dated.
So here he was, sitting in Studio A, watching Jude text on her cell phone, laughing because apparently something was funny. "Jude, put the phone away. We've got work to do."
She rolled her eyes. "Like you've never texted on your crackberry while you were supposed to be working? As I seem to re-call, you did that back when you produced my second album all the time when we weren't talking."
He sighed in frustration. "Jude—"
"Fine. I'm putting it away now." He heard her mumble something that sounded like 'asshole' under her breath and that was the last straw. He angrily got up out of his seat and locked the door to the studio. She turned around, surprised at his actions. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Unlock the door right now!"
"We're going to talk first. No interruptions."
"Unless it pertains to my album, then I have nothing to say to you!"
"Well I have a great deal to say to you and you're going to shut up and listen," he replied stubbornly. He was momentarily stunned when she didn't say anything back to him, so he carried on, determined to try and work through this. He couldn't take it anymore. "This is going to stop. All of it."
"All of what?" she quipped, more than likely playing dumb.
"Jude, you know what I'm talking about. Talk to me. What's going on with you?" She looked down at the floor, which shocked him. Never once in his time of knowing her had she ever done that. "It's still me. You can still talk to me, Jude."
She let out a bitter laugh. "So you can just leave again? No thanks."
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so
His heart tore as he heard her say that. So that's what she thought was going to happen. That he was going to leave again. His gaze softened and he walked over to her, taking her cheek in his hand. "I'm not going to leave again. I promise."
For a moment, their eyes connected and he saw the longing in her eyes that said so much. She wanted his words to be true. But then, she closed off again, putting that wall back up and she slapped his hand away. "Your promises don't mean shit, Quincy."
He winced. For the most part, that was a pretty true statement. But it wasn't like he tried to break them on purpose.
"At least let me explain why I left, then," he sighed. He knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with her today as to why she was choosing the self-destructive path, so he decided to try a different approach. One that would hopefully work.
"You actually think I give a damn as to why you left?" she stated forcefully.
"I know you do! So stop pretending like you couldn't care less because I know it's not true. You've been dying to find out why I left with barely a goodbye. You forget that I know you, Harrison."
"So what if I want to know. It's not like it's going to change the fact that you left!"
"It might," he whispered. He could see the hesitation in her body, the curiosity. She wanted to know why he left just as much as he wanted to know why she was acting this way.
"I somehow doubt that."
"You'll never know unless you listen to me!" He was getting impatient and he was growing tired of constantly trying to get the girl to look at him, let alone talk to him. He knew that girls could hold grudges, but good Lord, this was ridiculous. Three weeks and she barely uttered a hello.
Her eyes grazed over his body, as if she were searching for something. It made him feel slightly uncomfortable because the way she was looking at him could definitely be interpreted the wrong way. But, he knew better than to think along those lines because he highly doubted that her thoughts were straying anywhere near his.
She let out an impatient huff. "You asked me to listen and now you aren't even saying anything. Typical."
He raised an eyebrow. "You mean you're going to listen to me? You're not going to fight me on this?"
She clenched her teeth, clearly agitated. "If you don't start talking, I'm going to change my fucking mind. Now get on with it."
He took a deep breath and tried to figure out what to say. He really didn't know where to begin and he was starting to feel flustered. "Okay. We'll start with the obvious. Do you remember that bald guy that came into the club the night I left?" She nodded. "That was my dad's head bodyguard, Louis."
She stared at him skeptically. "Bodyguard?"
He rolled his eyes and nodded. "My dad's an ambassador for the U.S. My family is filthy rich and there was a threat to him, so Louis came to personally drag my ass away from here. They didn't think anybody placing a threat on my dad would connect me to the family, but they had to take all necessary precaution. I ignored your calls in the beginning because I couldn't take them."
Jude bit her lip and looked away. "But after that? After the threat was cleared?"
He took another deep breath and tried to be as careful as he could with his wording. "I didn't call because I had to get myself together, Jude. When I was with my family… when I was with my family, it just reminded me of all the reasons I left them in the first place. They're so suffocating and horrible. I had a lot of self-doubt to work through after I finally got away from them again. It wasn't pretty; I was a fucking mess."
You wouldn't say so, if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you
"Why Chicago?"
He shrugged. "Honestly? I closed my eyes and pointed. That's where my finger happened to land." He could have sworn there was a smirk gracing her lips. But, just as quickly as the smirk had appeared, it died. He sighed. Baby steps.
Silence passed. It was so silent it was almost deafening. If there was ever a moment that he wanted to get inside of her head, it was now. He just wanted to know what she was thinking. He wanted to know if he made any type of progress with that. "Jude?"
She turned away and he wanted to shake her. "Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking, please."
"You're keeping something from me," she whispered.
He froze. Shit. He thought he had been so careful. He wanted to tell her everything; all of it. But he didn't know if he could. He was scared shitless. So he backed out at last second and decided to leave out some minor details. Like the fact that Louis had blackmailed him to get him to leave in the first place. It was a good thing she was turned away from him. That way she couldn't see the panic he was sure was etched on his face. He tried to calm himself. "What are you talking about?" he feigned dumb.
"I know you. You're not telling me everything." She turned around and took a step closer to him. "You say you want me to talk to you, to trust you. How can I do that if you don't trust me?"
With that, she grabbed her things, brushing past him as she unlocked the door. She paused and looked back. "You know? You almost had me," she whispered. And then she left.
He kicked at the chair after the door clicked shut. He placed both hands behind his neck and tugged roughly at the hairs. He had been so close. And he screwed it up again.