Better Than Me
"Hermione, please don't leave. Don't you love me anymore?" Ron sat on the queen size bed he shared with Hermione and watched her pack her suitcase.
"No Ronald, I don't. Why are you worried about it? Go cry to Lavender."
Hermione disapparated out of the flat before Ron could respond. Ron, left alone with his tears, completely understood why she left. He had done nothing but tell lies to her and cheat on her during their 2 year marriage. But he did love her. She meant the world to him, but he needed comfort that he was not receiving from her. He never had proof, but he had the feeling before they ever were married that she loved someone else.
I
think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I
made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
Ron
went up to bed, and laid down. He rubbed his hand over her pillow
where her head would normally sleep next to his. The nave sheets
still had her scent all over them, as did everything in the flat
they shared as husband and wife. He walked down the hall
to the living room and seen her books in a pile next to the
tan couch and the lavender colored blanket she always
curled up with. Seeing the color made his mind turn to
Lavender which brought back the reality that Hermione was
gone. He couldn't take the loneliness of her not being there.
Ron decided to apparate to the burrow.
The
edge of the bed Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I
won't miss you
But I remember What it feels like beside
you
Arriving at the burrow he expected to be able to tell his side of the story and get a bit of sympathy from his family, but everyone already knew what had happened because Hermione had owled them that morning before she left for her parents' house. They all tried to bite their tongues around Ron, but they couldn't hide the angry and disappointed looks on their faces, especially Harry and Ginny who were in for Fred's wedding.
He couldn't believe that his family wouldn't even listen to his side of the story. They had no idea how his marriage to Hermione had been or how much he loved her. He would have stayed with her forever and would have ended things with Lavender if Hermione would have only touched him one time like she actually wanted him. But she just went through the motions, and that was only for the first few months. After that, their physical relationship had dwindled down to a kiss goodbye or a hug to welcome him home. Even with Hermione living right there, he missed her. She just wasn't the same.
I
really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence
tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much
better than me
Ron went up to his old room and sat staring at the wall. His walls were covered with quidditch posters and wizarding band posters. His bed had an old handmade quilt on it that was so worn out, yet the most comfortable blanket you could find. He couldn't take the quiet so he started pacing. Even as lazy and sloth like as he normally was, he couldn't sit still. He walked over to the closet to see if he had a change of clothes here so that he could take a shower when he spotted an old muggle shoebox sitting in the floor. It was from a pair of Hermione's shoes. She must have left this here before they got married. He lifted the lid and was amazed at the things he found.
While
looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I
took That you were looking for
There were old letters and pictures in the box from when they had first started dating: letters telling him about her job at the ministry, and how much she enjoyed helping the twins out at their shop. She told him how much she missed him. He received an owl from her everyday at her lunchtime. They were such good friends until they got married. When they said I do, their friendship went out the window.
If
there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
He
kept digging deeper in the box, which seemed to be bottomless. He
came across a picture that he remembered vividly. It was him and
Hermione; they were standing in front of the Eiffel Tower in France.
Hermione had dreamed of going there, and when Ron had decided to
propose to her, he knew it was the perfect place. The picture was of
him proposing, he was on one knee sliding the ring on to a crying
Hermione. He couldn't believe how messed up everything had become
in just 3 short years.
I
told myself I won't miss you
But I remember
What it feels
like beside you
Ron
couldn't keep looking, it was hurting too badly. He had no one to
talk to, because of the choices he made. He pissed everyone off being
the prat he was. He decided to go see the only person he knew could
comfort him, the person who made Hermione hate him so…Lavender
Brown.
I
really miss your hair in my face
and the way your innocence
tastes
And I think you should know this
you deserve much
better than me
He knocked on Lavender's door and as always she welcomed him with open arms. Lavender had always loved her Won-Won and would be there for him anytime he wanted. She didn't care if she was the other woman if it meant getting to be with him at least sometimes. A tear stained Ron bore his heart and soul to Lavender which led to an afternoon of shagging nonstop, as if that were any different than usual. Lying in Lavender's bed, rose colored sheets tangled around their naked limbs, Ron held her close realizing what he needed to do.
He got a shower and changed clothes, which proved how much he cared for Lavender and how often he was there considering he didn't even have a change of clothes at the burrow. He left to go back to the burrow to attempt to explain to everyone what had truly happened, to get his side of the story out. He promised Lavender he would be back that night. He kissed her, leaving her alone to ponder her affair with Ron now that Hermione was out of the picture. Would things change? Would he stay? Did he love her too?
The
bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said
it's over
Everyone at the burrow was sitting down for dinner: Fred, Rose, George, Ginny, Harry, Molly and Arthur. Two seats stood empty, two seats that he normally shared with Hermione. Nobody said a word; no one even acknowledged he was there. He stood at the head of the table, and cleared his throat.
"I know that none of you care too much for me right now, as I have been an awful git. But I have to let you know why I did what I did. I love Hermione with all my heart."
"You prat, don't you ever say that. If you loved her you wouldn't have hurt her. You are an ignorant arse!" Fred was gripping his wand below the table, but George would not let him raise it, he knew that if he did, he would be down two brothers, because Ron would be dead and Fred would be in Azkaban for killing him. .
"For one, I know I am an arse, but I did love her and always will. Not wanting to sound like I am blaming it on her, I am going to let you in on a little secret. She hasn't touched me in over a year. When I tried to give her a kiss she would always turn so it hit her cheek, she wouldn't snog or shag me and we are bloody married. I have a right to it."
Fred's face was turning more and redder with each passing second. George had to use both hands to hold Fred's arm and wand in place. He knew how this must be sounding to Fred, but no one else knew, least of all Ron.
"I needed to get relief from somewhere, I needed to get some attention, some comfort and I couldn't get it from her. I seen Lavender one night when I went to the Leaky Cauldron and we ended up back at her place. I regretted it the first time, but after a fight with Hermione I went back and she was always there for me. I grew to care about her and she cares a lot about me. She is always there. Even when Hermione was physically there she mentally wasn't. I can't explain it but when we did make love she never seemed to fully be there with me. She seemed to be fantasizing about something, or someone, else. She didn't love me. It is better this way and I hope she can find happiness."
"Alright Ronald, that's enough. I am sure Hermione wouldn't want her love life discussed at dinner, with us especially. Truly it is none of our business so let's just sit down and eat and we will all try to get past this and be there for you both."
And
I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause
we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
Nobody noticed when George grabbed Fred and dragged him out to the garden.
"So, what are you going to do?"
"What do you mean, I am getting married next weekend." Fred knew what George meant. Now that Hermione was free he could be with her without question. But he couldn't just break off his commitment with Rose. He cared a lot about her.
"Fred, you love her, and now she is free. You let her slip away the first time. Are you going to let her go again?" George plead with Fred, wanting him to finally be with the one person who has made him happiest.
"Yes, because I am getting married. I love Rose and have made a vow and commitment to be there for her. I will not leave her."
"You are a prat. You are not in love with Rose. You aren't married to Rose. You will regret losing her and you will start doing to Rose what Hermione did to Ron. You know she did all of that because of you. She may have loved Ron but as a brother, she was not in love with him. I still can't believe nobody knew about you two. I wish someone else would have seen how happy you were together and maybe they could help talk some sense into you."
George
walked away from his brother, which is something he only does when he
is rightly pissed or downright disappointed. And tonight, he was
both.
I
really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence
tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much
better than me
In the end, everyone went to bed miserable, except Ginny and Harry, whose favorite part of the day is going to bed with each other at night.