Nobody Knows
Not bother to clean up where he had been working on his invention, Fred apparated home, got a bottle of Firewhiskey out and started gulping it down. He flopped down in his recliner, not knowing what had just happened. He can't believe he lied to Hermione. He told her he didn't love her, he told her he loved Rose, AND he told her Rose was pregnant. All of the above were lies. But he just couldn't leave Rose; it would hurt her too much.
Rose had been so good to him during their time together. But she was no Hermione, and he knew he wasn't in love with her. But he did love her. It was so weird for him to think that the way he just told Hermione he felt was actually how he felt about Rose. He did love her more as a friend and sister. He did think she was a terrific person. He knew she could find someone better than him. But she loved him, and he couldn't hurt her. Could he?
I
pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more
every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
He
reclined his chair and finished off the bottle of firewhiskey and
began recalling times he and Hermione had been together. One
specific memory came shooting into his mind.
He started to cry as soon as the memory started to play in his mind, and he started sobbing like a baby when he remembered what he just did to the girl in the memory.
Like
a clown I put on a show
the pain is real even if nobody knows
and I'm crying inside
and nobody knows it but me
Flashback
Hermione's birthday was today and Fred had planned a grand date. He had told her to get dressed up fancy but he wouldn't tell her where they were going.
Hermione came down to the kitchen after 2 hours of getting ready, which paid off. She was wearing a dark green dress that had a high, thick black belt, which accented her tiny waste, she had her hair up in a French twist, with curls coming down to frame her face with black diamonds placed in various places within the twist to accent it. She had on a pair of black stiletto heels and a black clutch purse. Her makeup was subtle but beautiful with light pink lip gloss and baby pink blush and a shimmery eye shadow.
Fred's mouth dropped in awe of the beauty that was Hermione Granger.
"You-u l-look….amazing." Fred had never stuttered before. She always had a huge impact on him, but he couldn't believe how beautiful she was and how it took him so long to realize how much he cared about her.
Hermione only blushed and then kissed Fred's cheek. She took his arm as he apparated them to a beautiful restaurant in…FRANCE. Hermione had always loved French art, architecture, and food.
The host seated them and a waiter took their order. The food magically appeared on their table.
"Fred, is this not a muggle restaurant?" Hermione was confused. She had assumed looking around that every thing was nonmagical. Fred let a sly grin cross his face. He loved surprising her.
"Yes it is magical. Charlie was dating a French witch who brought him here once. I knew he had been here with her a lot so I owled him asking him to suggest a nice place to go."
She couldn't believe how beautiful it was. The tables were all covered with lilac tablecloths. The booths were a beautiful cherry wood with dark purple cushions. There were candles in the middle of the tables that were lit giving off a beautiful glow. The light had been dimmed, except for a few spot lights on some beautiful painting she didn't recognize, but she loved them all the same. Then she looked up at the ceiling, which she hadn't noticed until now. It didn't have lights, it had floating candles everywhere.
They ate their food, enjoying each others company immensely. No matter how often they talked, they always had something they could say to each other. After paying for the food, they left the restaurant and started walking down the streets of the city, enjoying the lights and sounds. People were amazingly friendly, quite to the contrary of what both had heard.
Fred had rented a hotel room for the night so they wouldn't have to go back to the burrow. They found the hotel, which was a muggle place so they actually had to appear as muggles, which was quite hard for Fred. He was amazed by the littlest things. Hermione had to do all of the talking. Once up to the room Hermione drug Fred down on to the bed and cuddled next to him, giving him the queue to hold her. She looked up into his eyes and kissed him more passionately than she ever had. It was the first time she realized she loved him.
"Fred," Hermione started, pulling away with him still wanting more, "I love you."
"You do?" Fred was startled. He wasn't sure what to say. He had known all along that he was in love with this girl with him, but he hadn't had the nerve to say it. And he was worried she might feel the same.
"Yes, how could I not?" Hermione giggled. She could see the happiness in his face and loved that she was the one that brought it there.
"Mione, I love you too!"
He kissed her sweetly, lovingly. Hermione would have none of that. She pulled him deeper into her and rolled onto her back dragging him on top of her. She wrapped her long slender legs around his waist and gently ran her fingernails up and down his back. Fred moaned into the kiss, praying in his mind that he wasn't dreaming this. Hermione pushed up on his chest ever so lightly, and swiftly removed his shirt and ran her fingers over his muscular chest. She could see the goose bumps form all over his body. He slipped her dress off revealing a very innocent looking pink lacey bra and panty set.
End Flashback
Why
didn't I say The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel
get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can say it so
clearly But you're nowhere around
Fred had tears in his eyes, remembering the first and only time they made love to each other. He had never felt so complete, so happy.
He got up and went to take a shower, a very cold shower.
The
nights are lonely, the days are so sad
and I just keep thinkin'
about the love that we had
and I'm missin' you
and
nobody knows it but me
After feeling the water hit his bare skin, Fred allowed another memory to invade his mind, a memory that was not so pleasant.
Flashback
Fred and Ron had been talking about Quidditch that morning at the burrow. Ron asked Fred to come over that morning because he needed to talk to him about something important.
"Ron, we have been talking for over an hour now, what is it you needed to talk to me about? I have to get back to the shop."
"You've been spending a lot of time with Hermione haven't you?"
Fred's throat formed a lump that he almost couldn't swallow. "Yea, she's been helping out with the shop." It wasn't a complete lie. After all she had been attempting to help when they kissed the first time.
"I have been thinking of asking her to be my girlfriend. Do you think she would say yes?"
"I don't know Ron. You will have to ask her."
"Alright, but if you see her today, would you put in a good word for me? I am going to ask her tomorrow night at the family dinner."
"Sure little bro. I'll do that."
Fred had never seen Ron's eyes so happy as when he talked about Hermione being his. He couldn't take that away from him after all that he had been through with the war. Once Ron left the room Fred disapparated to the shop and found Hermione waiting upstairs in the flat for him.
"Hermione, we need to talk."
"Fred, what's wrong, love?" Hermione walked over to Fred and went to kiss him, but he backed away.
"I can't do this anymore. I hate lying to the family, and I just can't hurt Ron so I think we should end this little relationship we have developed."
"Don't I get a say in this?" Hermione was furious that he wouldn't stand up for their love.
"No Hermione, you don't. They are my family and I don't want to hurt them." Fred was dying inside telling her these things. He could feel his breakfast rising in his throat. He knew his eyes were glistening with unfallen tears, but he had to be strong. He had to help out Ron. He couldn't hurt him.
"You always said they were my family too. I can't believe you are doing this to me. I knew as soon as you shagged me you'd leave me. I kept lying to myself and saying you loved me and you would be different. But you weren't. I wish I could say I hate you, but I can't. You know I will always love you. But, of forget it."
With that, Hermione left, without seeing the tears in Fred's eyes and hearing him say, "I do love you Hermione, always and forever."
And of course we all know what she said to Ron when he asked her to be his.
End Flashback
I
carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without
someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me
By the time he came out of the memory his skin was wrinkled and he had yet to even wash himself. Fred climbed out of the shower and owled Rose asking her to come over as soon as she could.
I
lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night as if
I thought You'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And
nobody knows it but me
He had to talk to her, he needed to do the right thing for Hermione for once. He had for so long abandoned her feelings to keep from hurting other people. It was time for him to not hurt her anymore, and tell everyone the truth.
He got ready and sat on the couch with a fake smile on his face waiting for Rose to appear.
How
blue can I get You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw
puzzle it's been torn all apart
He
didn't have to wait long. "Fred honey, what's wrong?"
"Rose, I have something important to talk to you about."
A
million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from
now you know
I'll be lovin' you still
"I have some important news too. It's quite exciting actually. You go first though."
"That's okay, Rose. You go ahead." Fred wanted Rose to go first because he was worried that one of the lies he told Hermione was coming true. Rose had been awful moody and eating a lot of food she normally wouldn't, such as lots of American food, like pizza and burgers and such.
Tomorrow
mornin' I'm hitting the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever
you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to
me
"Fred,
I'm…"