Listen To Your Heart
Hermione
didn't go home that night, instead she went to the hotel and called
the only person she could think of, Ginny Potter. Ginny apparated
straight to Hermione's hotel room and brought with her a big box of
chocolates and a huge bottle of firewhiskey, thinking this was
going to be a long night. Hermione had already changed out of her
mood dress, but Ginny didn't need her to be wearing that dress to
see the smile that Hermione had on her face was fake. Hermione's
eyes gave her away.
I
know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion
from the look in your eyes, yea.
Hermione just sat on the bed, her knees drawn into her chest and lowered her head. Ginny sat next to her friend and placed her hand on her back trying to comfort her.
"Mione, are you okay? I mean, I know you aren't okay right now, but are you going to be?" Ginny wasn't sure how to comfort her friend. Hermione had never really seemed this broken before. Ginny was afraid for Hermione, not sure what the girl would be capable of in this state.
"I don't know. I said no to him. I was strong and held my ground and told him no. He wanted me back." Hermione sobbed quietly into her hands. She felt so lost and alone, why did he have to do this to her? Why did he have to play with her heart at a time when it was so fragile?
"Why did you say no?" Ginny asked, finally taking in the room she was sitting in. The walls were painted a dark blue color with a white border around the ceiling and floor. There was a light oak armoire and desk in the room as well as a TV, a small refrigerator, and microwave. The bathroom door was closed, so she wasn't aware what it looked like, but noticed a huge Jacuzzi tub sitting in the corner surrounded by mirrors and candles. There were a couple of floral paintings hanging on the wall and a large bouquet sitting on top of the armoire. She then turned her attention back to her broken friend, awaiting an answer.
"Ginny, you don't know the pain I went through when he ended things. Then he told me he no longer loved me and that he never really did. It broke my heart. I don't know if I can trust him not to do it again." Hermione was looking at Ginny with bloodshot eyes. Her face was puffy and blotchy from crying so much.
"Hermione, when you told me about your time with Fred, I had never seen your eyes shine like they did. I had never seen such a huge smile on your face. The way you described it was like heaven. You should give him another chance. Let him prove he has grown and realized his mistakes. " Ginny wanted her friend to be happy, and she knew her brother must love her to go through all of this just to make Hermione happy.
"But Ginny, what if he hasn't? What if he does it again? I don't think my heart can take any more of this dark sadness. I can't handle that." Hermione was being honest. She had been in a dark place since the day he told her he never loved her. She felt dead inside, like her heart was no longer beating, but she was living off of the stale blood that already flowed through her veins. It was cold.
You've
built a love but that love falls apart
your little piece of heaven
turns to dark
"Do you love him?" Ginny looked imploringly at Hermione, hoping for an honest answer. She didn't get one.
"I don't know." Hermione lied. She knew she still loved him, and had trouble believing that she had said no when he had asked her to come back to him.
"What is your heart saying?" Ginny knew the truth. Any sane person could look Hermione in the eyes and see the love she held for Fred Weasley. Now, it was just a matter of convincing her.
Listen
to your heart when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
"My heart is crying out for him. But my head is telling me to run and not look back." Hermione got up off the bed and started pacing.
"Mione, I think you need to fully think about this before you make a decision. Owl him. Tell him you just need some time to think. Tell him it's not a no but it's not a yes. Tell him you will let him know." Hermione knew that Ginny was right. She was in no state to make such a big decision that would affect her life so drastically. Maybe she should think about it. But how could she be sure that he wouldn't do it again.
I
don't know where you're going and I don't know why,
but listen to
your heart before you tell him goodbye.
"Ginny, is it really worth it though? Is it worth getting my heart broken again?" Hermione's eyes had a fresh round of tears playing at the corners. She was afraid of never being able to come out of this without him.
"You are the one that has to answer that question. Is it worth the chance to have his arms around you? Is it worth it to relive your night in Paris together? Is it worth it to maybe one day marry him and have little redheaded bookish prankster children with him?" Ginny was hoping to get a smile out of her friend when she said this. But she didn't. Hermione only sobbed harder.
Sometimes
you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are
all lost in the tide, yea.
"Those hopes were burst when he told me he didn't love me. Those dreams, those wishes were broken when he gave me up to Ron. My dreams are no longer my dreams. I don't dream about things I want anymore. My dreams belong to a land of nightmares, and a land of loneliness and helplessness."
They're
swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging
to your dreams.
"But you still love him and you can take those dreams back. I'm not saying go run to him now. I'm not saying to go elope and get married without thinking and acknowledging what has happened. I'm just saying listen to your heart and what it is saying to you. Right now you have no other choice but to become a crazy cat lady, which you are well on your way to already."
Listen
to your heart when he's calling for you.
Listen to your
heart there's nothing else you can do.
"But Ginny, I- wait a minute…I am not on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady. I only have Crookshanks." Ginny laughed and amazingly so did Hermione. Hermione plopped back down on the bed, lying on her stomach with her feet dangling off the side.
I
don't know where you're going and I don't know why,
but listen to
your heart before you tell him goodbye.
"Mione, all I am saying, all I think you should do is listen to what that tiny little voice in your heart wants…because as much of a bookworm as you are…brains don't always have the answer. And sometimes your brain just doesn't know how to feel or what to say."
Hermione laid her head back down on the cream comforter that covered the bed. Her makeup had caused stains all over it, but she didn't care.
And
there are voices that want to be heard.
So much to mention but
you can't find the words.
"Imagine if I hadn't given Harry a second chance. He left me heartbroken. But I swallowed my foolish Weasley pride and when he asked me to marry him I said yes. I took that leap. It's been magical ever since. From the way you have described it; your relationship with Fred was beautiful. Full of excitement from the fear of being caught, to the passion you felt toward each other and the love that you held in each others hearts. "
Hermione knew that Ginny was right. She had given Harry another chance and they are happier than ever. Maybe it would work. But what if it didn't?
The
scent of magic, the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than
the wind.
"How do I know he is for real though?"
"There is a person who knows Fred's every thought and move. I'll apparate and bring George here." Ginny stood, finally realizing what she needed to do.
"Your right Ginny, George will know. He has too." Hermione looked hopeful for the first time in a long time.
Ginny and George appeared in just a couple of minutes. He ran over to Hermione and hugged her to him. She felt safe in his arms, and knew it was because he reminded her so much of Fred. How could he not? They were twins after all.
"George, what are you doing?" Hermione managed to say through the fabric pushing against her mouth.
"I am just buttering you up for me not telling you sooner what I am about to tell you."
"What are you talking about?" George finally let Hermione go. Her face was red from the lack of oxygen.
"Do you remember the first time you kissed my brother?"
"How could I forget? I have thanked you for that several times."
"You remember what was supposed to happen when two people kissed?"
"The berries- wait, are you telling me you seen what color they were?"
"Hermione, I never wanted to tell you guys before but Fred
forced it out of me a few weeks ago and he has acted crazy since. I
wanted the right thing to work out on its own but I don't think it
will. Not with everything that's happened. I don't know what you
are planning on doing or what your thoughts on Fred are at this
moment, but I think you have a right to know whether you were meant
to be together or not. I think you have a right to know before you
decide whether you are going to give my brother another shot."
"Just tell me, George."
"Hermione,
they were red."