Chapter 3: Panic Attack

I don't own Naruto. Obviously.

A new day, a new problem. That's how my life works. I hate but it, but well, what can you do. I'm already dressed…well, to not suffer in the morning, I just slept in my jounin uniform. No one has to know, nor will they ever know. It's my secret. But, I'm really sure something retarded will happen so that by the end of the day associating with me would be social suicide. I'm used to it. Today, I didn't have to get up so ridiculously early. I got to get up at eight instead of six. Tsunade called last night telling me to chill out for an extra two hours. Coming from her, that's a miracle. It also put me in a better mood. Not by much, though, but enough so people can almost tolerate me.

As I walked calmly to the building, I was reminded of the coming holiday: Halloween, in a week. That made me wonder what us jounin would plan to do. Scare the genin shitless, have a wild party…yeah. The one Kakashi hosted last year was insane. Everyone got drunk and the next day we all missed work because of hangover! How fun! Not fun. Tsunade was pissed with us just because we had a party. Well, hey, not my fault no one would ever invite her to even a get together. Raidou suddenly flanked me, carrying papers. "Hi!"

"Hey."

"Guess what today is?" Raidou said, grinning. Wow. This guy must be on some sort of drug to make him so happy. I'm never that happy. I do get close when Anko is around, though. I scowled at him.

"Um…a week till Halloween pre-celebration?" I guessed. Raidou would tell me anyway. We established that a while back when I almost strangled him. It was morning, and suspense isn't that great at such an hour. He shook his head.

"Today is Anko's birthday!"

"WHAT?!" I said that a little too loud. I got stares that suggested I needed a straitjacket. "Oh, I mean, uh, no big deal." Damn. It almost slipped-- wait, what almost slipped? Nothing, because I'm not in love with Anko. Never will be…if I can help it. Geez…this won't work…

"O-kay, whatever you say, Genma. See ya!" Raidou took off somewhere happily, leaving me to panic. What do I get her? I'm broke, I seriously have nothing in my wallet but some spare change and my jounin license. Oh, old receipts too, but that's not going to help at all. I could pick flowers off the side of the road…what's the difference between a weed and a flower? They all look the same! Well, who cares, the little thingies that are all poofy should do. Then I'll find something else. Along the way. Or do something that I'll never do, and I'd really be the social reject if I did do it…a little kiss won't hurt…WAIT, WHAT?! Where the hell did that come from? Ew! Ugh! I don't want that thought in my head. Okay. I have the flowers, I'm all set.

Gathering all my confidence quickly, I carried myself proudly, even though people looked at me weird. In the distance I could see Kurenai. So I walked quicker. As I was about to say "Hi", she stopped me. "Genma, why are you holding dandelions?" she asked, frowning. I looked down at the poofy flowers, and that made a memory vivid. "Genma! Don't blow on that, our whole yard will be full of those!" Right. How many times did mom tell me to not blow on them? I was pretty embarrassed.

"I…was, er…trying to clean up the community!" Wow, I'm getting good at lying! Kurenai looked at me funny.

"Dandelions are weeds. If you would've given them to someone, they'd hate you! It looked like you were going to give them to someone the way you were carrying them so proudly!" Kurenai plucked the flowers from my hand and threw in a nearby trash can. "There. Alright, I'll see you around." She went right past me.

"Yeah…bye." I'm so smart, look at me, giving weeds to Anko! I don't even know why I'm giving her anything, but oh well. My intuition has been really fucked up lately, as I'm sure you can tell. I was probably blushing at that time.

Now I have nothing to give to Anko. No flowers, not even a petal…there was that last option…I could plant one on the cheek…heheh-- NO! That's violating her! Then again, she has touched me several times too. Without my permission. And I have nothing else to give, so…pssh, how hard can it be, right? She's Anko, not Shizune. Anko's brave, it won't hurt.

I stun myself. The things I do are so retarded. If I do give her a kiss--more like a peck-- everyone will know within twenty minutes. When I do, IF I do, I'll have to make sure that Kiba kid isn't around. He's the source of outgoing and incoming rumors. I haven't even walked into the main building and here I am, heart punching and kicking my chest and the reindeers attacking unrelentingly. I put a sweaty palm to my cheek, which was equally warm and pasty. I could just turn around and call in sick or I could face it and tell her I have nothing for her. Hmm…intuition says to kiss her, common sense says to run. Whatever, I'll go with intuition today. My common sense can go screw itself. Last time I took its advice I ended receiving punishment from Tsunade. Then I remembered the kiss wasn't going to float from my lips. I had to give it to her.

I moved my lead legs forward and managed to make it up to the very floor of Tsunade's office. I could hear Anko and her friends talking excitedly, and each squeal from them made the reindeers surge in power and my heart was beginning to thrash. I still think I have heart problems, but I'm not visiting any doctors until I'm absolutely forced to…even then, I don't think I'll take any chances, so I'll probably go to young, non-senile, doctor. Right now, I'm standing against the wall, debating on going in or not. Now I'm beginning to feel nauseous, and I think I'm shaking. I don't even know for sure if I really am so tremulous. I'm numb with fear, and all that's going on in my body, from spastic reindeer to earthquake plagued hearts, has taken my senses, so all I think and see is Anko. I took a deep breath, swallowed my nausea and stepped in.

Anko, though surrounded by people, primarily women, waved at me. I smiled and walked in, ignoring all of their stares, and joined the group. I was about to do something social, but then I saw Anko, and my senses froze over. She was so beautiful. Anko was dressed up because it was her birthday, and she had a light brush of make up, and make up or not, she was beautiful. She was wearing a nice, sharp brown coat over a deep, autumn-ish, purple sweater and had khaki pants on. So romantic, yet lovely and young. She was only twenty five, as of today. I felt a thick blush creep across my face, and the reindeers were threatening to rip me apart; if my heart hadn't exploded already, I didn't care. My senses failed me because of looking at Anko. How was I going to live with her as my partner if this kept happening? I swear, my life just gets more and more complicated and surreal. Will this ever change?

Anko told her friends to leave, and they emptied the room to go work and do other things. Anko looked at me and grinned. She ran up to me and hugged me. Somehow, I relaxed, and I sigh flew from me. "Happy birthday, Anko." I managed to say. My throat closed up to prevent the reindeer from making me scream. My nausea wavered, and disappeared. So I have a little bit of anxiety. For Anko. No problem, I'm not in love…not in love and never will be… Anko took my hand and squeezed it. I squeezed faintly back.

"Thanks, Genma. How did you know, though? I don't remember telling you."

"Oh, a little robin told me this morning. I don't have anything for you…I'm so sorry." I couldn't take any chances. Anko shrugged, and smiled softly.

"No prob--"

"No, I do actually. Come over here for a sec…" Life was made for retarded, opaque risks, and right now, I needed to take one…it would determine my social status, but I didn't care right now. I took Anko's hand and ran up to the top of the building, where you could see the whole city of Konoha. It was cold, but I was burning up, and the wind that came blew Anko's hair into her face. Pulling her close to me, combing her hair out of her face and holding it back, I stared into the sweet eyes for a second. "Anko, keep this a secret. Don't tell anyone."

"Okay."

I had never kissed a girl before. Ever. This was the closest I'd ever been to a person of the opposite gender. My heart's pound slowed down and I felt my mind relax, and my muscles released anxiety off into my bloodstream. Here it was. The risk. Whether my life flashed before my eyes as I bent down slightly, I'll never know, but when my lips touched hers I nearly fainted. So soft, so sweet. The reindeers diminished to steady hum and my senses returned to full blast. And I melted away and nearly flew in with the wind when Anko didn't pull back from me, but held me tighter with her. Anko held me by the shoulders, and when her arms slid down mine to her sides, I pulled back gently. How many seconds? Did it reach a minute? Nah, of course not. I'd say…five seconds. At least. But those were the best seconds of my life, for sure. Anko looked up at me, and I must've been blushing furiously or something because she giggled and leaned on me.

"Thanks for the surprise. I'll treasure it." I smiled and put an around her waist.

"You're welcome." I wasn't going to add that I probably enjoyed it more than she did.

Why is it when you're always relaxed something has to happen to make you spazz? I was reminded that Anko's my partner. I'm not supposed to have feelings for her. Not that I-- Oh, screw this. I'll only admit it to myself this time.

I really am I falling in love with Anko Mitarashi.

OKAY! Chapter 4 might take a bit longer. I need to get ideas. I already have a few, but I'm trying do decide how it should work! REVIEW ! I need to know people read this. Anonymous reviews welcome! Keep reading!