Chapter 7: Looks on the Future
I don't own Naruto, so get a therapist and get over it.
The city was silent. I was beginning to feel faint. Something was coming, but what it would be was the problem. Oro? Akatsuki? I stayed still and held my breath.
"Genma, what are you doing here?"
I blinked the vision of my world away and raised my eyes form the computer screen. Ibiki glared at me. Ugh. Do I really have to deal with this right now? I hate this guy! "You're not even part of ANBU, nor do you have any authorization, so why are you here?" he asked.
"Yeah, well, you're not ANBU either." I replied,
"I work in a field similar to them. You on the other hand, are Tsunade's personal slave." That set me off.
"No, I'm not. You hang out with the ANBU because you're a wannabe."
"Excuse me?" Ibiki said, taken aback.
"OH COLD! BURN IBIKI BURN!" announced Anko, striding in. Ibiki sniffed in disapproval. Anko imitated him. But she sniffed longer and louder. Ibiki glared at her. Anko mocked surprise masterfully. "What? I have a cold, Ibiki, is it a sin to be sick?"
"Whatever…" Before he took off, I decided to ask a bit. If he's so into ANBU, he should know where those yuppies are.
"Hey, where the hell is ANBU?" my question was answered by someone else.
"We were called for some large massacre. It was just some stupid kid with a prank…using ketchup for blood, how retarded is that?" answered Yuugao, appearing in the doorway. Anko and Ibiki laughed.
"Oh, that's messed up!" Anko looked at me. "Hey, let's get the documents and leave. Yuugao--"
"OH! Those documents are right here!" Yuugao shoved me aside and opened a drawer of the receptionists' desk and pulled a thick stack of paper. She shoved them in my arms. Why does everyone want to abuse me? The paper is freaking thick, and that would result in insane weight.
"Thanks…now let's go before the other ANBU come!"
"Oh, yeah." we took off. My ankles hurt thinking about the bastard that kicked them. Bruises are the proof. But the crap in my arms hurts more…
"Voila!" Anko dropped the stack of papers on Tsunade's desk. Tsunade nodded and took them, skimming the paper over. At one point, however, she raised her eyes over the paper and looked at me knowingly. That alone made me shiver. What does she know that I don't? Or does she…? No. It simply is not possible. She can't know about Anko and I. We never let it slip out; does she have spies on us? Probably. That woman, I don't know what she smokes, or if she smokes anything, but man, she can see right through me. I suddenly became nervous.
"Ah. Very nice, you two. Oh…one more thing…" Tsunade snickered. I shivered. "Well. Kakashi, Kurenai, Gai, and Asuma, will be, uh, busy, on November first. So, um, you two have to train the teens."
WHAT?! November first was scheduled for my hangover recovery day. I even marked it on my calendar! Besides…Kurenai can train them…she can't get drunk. Or get hungover, for that matter…
"NO!" screamed Anko.
"Yeah, what the hell? November first is…my great-great grandma's one hundred and nineteenth birthday!" I added…lying, of course. Tsunade raised an eyebrow.
"Your great and great-great grandparents are dead, Genm--"
"Well, she's on some sort of drug to--"
"You're doing it whether you like of not!" she thundered, banging a pen on the table.
"FUCK! I get all this shit to do! When can I do something bloody?" Anko hastily put a hand over my mouth. Tsunade stood up.
"What kind of disrespectful, scummy bastard are you?" she said in complete disbelief.
"The kind that is way above you! You're the bottom, you fat slut!" I replied. Tsunade's eyes bugged out.
"EXCUSE ME?" she yelled.
"You heard me! Go rape Jiraiya! He'd enjoy it, and maybe someday you'd be invited to a social event!"
"Genma--" Anko began nervously. "Let's go now."
"Social event? What are you saying?"
"I'm saying everyone hates you! Well, except for the pimps that have raided your body--"
"THAT'S IT!" Anko pulled my arm and dragged me out before Tsunade could maniacally throw a book at us. Once outside, in safety, we spoke.
"What was that all about?" Anko asked me.
"I HATE HER SO MUCH!"
"You can stop screaming…" Oh, right. Stupid me.
"Ugh! I can't explain. All this time I've had shit to do! I need to do something or I'm going to crack!" Anko studied me.
"You already did. Look…how about, since it's almost dinner time, we go out to eat. I think we both need to relax a bit. Even me."
"Okay." I mumbled. Oh, boy. Santa pals are here, spreading their Christmas spirit, aka hell for me. We started to walk around the twilit town.
"What do you like?"
"I don't care-- Oh, you're not paying." I said to her. Anko frowned.
"Why not?"
"I'm going to pay!"
"Why?"
" 'Cause…it's not cool for you to have to pay. You're a…"
"Spit it out," she teased. I forced the words out of my mouth.
"…lady. Not that you're a damsel in distress or anything, but I strictly believe the man should pay. So…I'm paying." I replied reasonably. Anko smirked and decided to cling on my arm.
"Hmm…you're a lot more noble than you look. Thanks, though." Anko said solemnly.
"Anyway, what should we eat?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Oh, right! Almost forgot. How about…" Anko looked around at the lighted signs quickly. "Um…crap! Why don't we just go to my house? I've got a lot of stuff to eat."
"Oh, no, come--"
"I won't go to your house! You've been good enough. Also, with the party, you'll have to know where I live. It's a bit far off though. Kind of out on the outskirts and a bit…old." she said.
"Okay. Sounds nice."
We continued walking until I had no idea where I was. Then, in the distance, I saw a faint light, and like a firefly, it was going on and off in different patterns.
"Oh, dang it! I have to change the light again. Crap." she mumbled. Looking closer in the darkness, I realized that there was a lantern hanging off a torii. And behind the torii…a traditional house. Paper doors, wooden floors, all that. As I walked under the torii, I studied the surroundings excitedly. It was pretty, and I could even hear some crickets left over from the summer. How nice! Where I live, well, let's just say it's shit compared to this…manor, I'll call it. It seemed pretty big so far. I always thought Anko lived somewhere in a box hidden in the alley…don't ask, okay?
"It's so nice!" I exclaimed. Anko slid open a door and beckoned me in.
"Oh, thanks." she flicked on the lights and went somewhere. I followed, and I noticed we were in the kitchen. Anko went about pulling out sushi from the refrigerator.
"I'd love to live in a place like this…" I continued my streak of marveling. Anko met my eyes for a moment, but a moment was enough for the reindeers to spazz.
"Maybe you will, soon." I smiled.
"Yeah-- wait…do you mean…?" Anko shrugged and looked away with a snicker. I blushed and cringed to relieve Rudolph spreading holiday cheer. No…we wouldn't get married. Besides, we don't even have a relationship. The kiss popped into my head. Great, now that has to rub in…the non-truth. I mean, seriously, we argue 24/7. we're just not compatible, right? …are we…?
"So, Genma, what's your favorite thing to drink? Alcohol-wise, I mean." Anko asked me over our sushi. That's a tough question…
"Hm, probably zinfandel or cosmopolitans."
"That's a girly drink!" Anko started to laugh. I smiled.
"Yeah, well, I like it. Martinis are nice too. I don't really care, actually." I replied. Anko nodded.
"I wonder if we can get Kurenai drunk this year? I've wanted to see that for quite a while!"
"Doubt it. The other day, I saw her training her students…with a martini in hand!"
"Oh my god!" exclaimed Anko. "Is she alcoholic?" I shook my head.
"Oh, hell, no. That'd make her…" If she was alcoholic, it would make her the slut she's not, but it would also make her less hot. Even I had the mind to not say that to Anko. "…retarded." I finished after some delay. Anko agreed.
"Let's see…Hayate and Yuugao RSVP'ed. And so did everyone else I invited." she sighed dreamily. "Alcohol is so sexy!" I spit out my food and went into a fit of laughter. I was literally rolling on the ground like some crazed teenager. Anko didn't find in funny and looked over our food across from her where I was losing my mind.
Seriously, how can alcohol be sexy?
"What's so funny?" she asked, folding her arms. My reply was:
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Anko sighed, but then smiled. Getting out of the position she had of tucking her legs under her, Anko crawled over to me. I hadn't improved in mental stability, and she was looking over me with a smirk. I wasn't paying much attention to the smirk, I was gasping for breath in my hysteria. Anko raised her arms. What happened next I couldn't defend myself from. I was laying on back, hands folded over rising and falling stomach. My knees were bent up, and I was rolling from side to side slightly.
I never mentioned the fact Anko has long, flex-y fingers, did I? Well, she does, and that's a scary sight when she writing or typing. The bend to lengths that pain me in thought of that. I'm used to it now, but I wasn't prepared for what she did next.
"Let's find out if Genma is ticklish!"
Oh, shit. I happen to be unnaturally ticklish.
The fingers crawled all over my stomach and sides, causing more insane laughter and loss of oxygen. I couldn't defend myself, her hands were totally ubiquitous, and it was pretty futile to make an attempt. If I didn't have a strong stomach…
Anko was laughing now, too. Laughing at my expense. When I managed to roll onto my stomach and curl up into a gasping ball, she gave up…AFTER FIFTEEN MINUTES. Then it struck. I forgot about the diaphragm…it was fine this morning! Well, another reason to kill Oro. I stopped mid breath and stayed like that. I didn't know what pain was until this. Oh my god. I couldn't breathe. At all. The muscles were not working down there, but at the same time a tightening, ebbing force was taking my stomach and contracting it. Now, I'm really sure this is the end. If I don't take a breath soon, as in within theses coming thirty seconds, I'm going to pass out. Anko didn't know what to do, so she flipped out.
"Talk to me!" Anko slapped my face gently. "Wake up!" I held up a hand for her to stop, and she understood, but without more squalling and spazzing.
The little black dots painted my vision about thirty seconds later. I could not scream, not only because I had no breath, but because I was pretty much frozen. The pain suddenly broke and the muscles let go. I took a huge gulp of air and pretty much laid there, Anko holding my hand. I rolled onto my back and took a deep intake of breath until I was at a steady pant.
"What happened?" demanded Anko, rubbing my arm.
"I…the diaphragm…" should I reveal the Orochimaru thing about him coming into my house? I think Tsunade will assassinate me if she finds out. "Was punched a few days back, hard, and…it froze up after all the laughter…"
"Oh! You poor thing." Anko said sympathetically. Last thing to deal with, more pain. It returned to me. I moaned and cringed, folding my hands over my stomach. Ow. OWW. SHIT! It ebbs in variety from searing to dull, and tight to loose. At least I can breathe, now… "Roll onto your stomach."
"Why?" I asked wearily.
" 'Cause." I didn't want to respond to the unclear reason, but I did so anyway. Anko ripped the heavy jacket off of me, leaving the warm undershirt…sweater thingy…
I expected more tickling, but I was wrong. Anko was rubbing my back. Just sweeping a hand back a forth, up and down. "You, rest. I see you're in pain, don't go around hiding it. You hide it well, but relax."
"Whatever…" I returned. From this point on, I was kind of in a stupor. The tatami under me was so cool and smooth, and Anko's hand was putting me to sleep. I looked up at her out of the corner of my eye. She looked really sleepy. On the verge of falling into sleep right there.
That's exactly what happened. Anko slumped slightly, then fell to the ground next to me. So, I'll leave. Anko felt me move. "You're not going anywhere. Stay the night, I don't care. Let me get the blankets."
"I can do it…" I mumbled.
"No…" Anko got up and went off somewhere, but returned momentarily and tossed a heavy blanket on me and a pillow hit my face. "Oh, sorry."
"That's fine." I made myself comfortable and fell asleep with eerie speed. My back tingled where Anko had touched me, and Rudolph just had to spread holiday cheer in my dreams.
That was fun to write! Not that you care, but guess what, I do. And who's the author…?
I think you get the idea!
Anyway, I leave review for you, so leave reviews for me. PLEASE REVIEW!
Hey, everyone that reads this, thanks. I like it when people read my compositions.
OH, BY THE WAY! I HAVE CHPT 27 DONE FOR THIS STORY! WANNA READ IT? REVIEW!