Okay so it's been a while. Sorry about the wait. But I had midterm exams, and then I went on a weekend trip to a farm with my girlfriend, so I really didn't have time to write anything. But here I go again. Got behind my laptop with a cup of coffee. damn I feel like a prof writer, lol. Anyways...I hope this is going to end up the way I want it to. tell me what you think! (the big pieces of italics are flashbacks. I will put "flashback" in front of it the first time, but in case there come more, now you know...)

"I don't know Spence...This is a little too much for me to handle." It was the second time Ashley has said that. And Spencer was about to snap. She knew it was difficult for Ashley; she never knows how to deal with stuff bigger than what they already have. But it's not like it's easy for Spencer either. She didn't get pregnant on purpose. And yeah, I know. I got myself into this, so I have to get myself out of it. But I don't know if I can...

"Ashley. Do you think this is easy for me?! I just found out I was pregnant. As in...last night. I obviously didn't know how to handle it, I fell asleep after crying on the couch. I really don't know what to do if you don't even give me a chance to explain this. I know what I did was wrong, and I shouldn't have done it. But I did, and this really is something that I can't hide for you for your own good. And I need you Ash...I need you to understand me...Because I can't live without you."

Ashley always had a weak spot for Spencer when she said that.

"Okay...I'm listening." Ashley sat down on the couch with her head in her hands, listening but trying to avoid looking Spencer in the eyes.

"Okay...here we go." Spencer took a deep breath. "Remember about two months ago, we got in a fight, and we ended up deciding that we needed a break? It happened three days after that. I was so upset and devastated that I sat down in my apartment and cried for three days straight. I started drinking every night, and the third night it got a little out of hand."

FLASHBACK

Spencer threw back another shot of tequilla. She got to the point where she didn't even taste the stuff anymore. During the first three shots she was still thinking about how she probably shouldn't be drinking every night. But after the third she didn't care anymore. She needed this pain to go away. Secretly she hoped that Ashley was coming back to her apartment, found her passed out on the floor because of all the alcohol, and take care of her while falling in love again. But she knew that wasn't going to happen. She screwed up majorly. Well...she didn't really. The fight wasn't her fault. It wasn't Ashley's fault either. It was just a misunderstanding but it turned out to be a big fight, ending up with them two on a break.

So there she was...sitting on the floor, drinking herself away. When she decided, hey! I'm single now...I need to go out. The alcohol didn't make her think twice, she just got up and left. It was difficult to find the club she wanted to go to, not the Shout, because Ashley would probably be there. Swaying over the sidewalk, barely able to stay on it and not end up on the street, she got to the club. She was able to act sober for the two seconds she needed to get inside. Once inside, she started dancing on the dancefloor like she was the only person in the world. She didn't see anyone else. She didn't hear anyone else. She didn't feel anyone else. Until there was someone grinding up against her...

"Wait...How did I...did we...who are you?!" Spencer woke up in an unknown bed, next to a boy with dark brown hair and deep brown eyes. The sun was shining ironically through the curtains, making this day seem like a blossoming day. However, Spencer didn't know what happened and had a huge headache, and she frowned at the sunshine. The boy next to her layed on his side and looked at her. He just looked at her...nothing more. Just a big grin and playful eyes, staring away. Spencer got a little freaked out, since she didn't know who this guy was, so she got up and was ready to walk towards the door and leave. Then she noticed that she was not wearing any clothing. She squeeked and jumped back into the bed. With storming eyes she looked back at the boy.

"Okay, that's it. Who are you. What am I doing here. And what happened last night?!"

"Whoa, calm down. Nothing big happened." The boy said, with still the same grin on his face. Spencer sighed, relieved. "Well...besides the fact that we had amazing sex."

Spencer's eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. She turned her head around to see if perhaps the boy was talking to someone else behind her. When she saw that she really was the only other person in the room with the boy, she felt tear drops rolling down her cheeks. She looked back at the guy and her eyes turned dark.

"How dare you take advantages of me in a state like that."

"Whoa, hey, don't blame me. You were alone, dancing, tipsy, and a hot girl. Who would not want to sleep with you? You didn't seem to object last night..."

"Tipsy?! Tipsy?!! I wasn't a little tipsy! I had been drinking for the past three days! I was totally drunk and out of my mind. And yeah..I know someone who would have wanted to sleep with me instead of you. But since she and I had some problems, the cause of my drinking, that wasn't going to happen now was it? I wasn't planning on sleeping with someone..."

"Wait...she?"

"Yes..My girlfriend."

"Dude...I slept with a lesbian. I slept with a freaking lesbian." The boy layed down on his back with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Oh you're just so cute." Spencer said sarcasticly. "Be proud of yourself...You're a jerk." And she got out of bed, quickly put on her clothing and walked out the door. "Fuck fuck fuck." She leaned back against the door and looked at the beautiful, sunny morning. The bright sunlight did not cheer her up in any way, there was nothing that could make this situation any better. Thankfully she knew where she was and it wasn't too far from her apartment, so she was able to walk home. At home she layed down on her bed. Her head was throbbing and this whole situation didn't make the hangover any better. She didn't know what to think about last night or what to do about it. Maybe it was best if she forgot about it all together.

END OF FLASHBACK

"So I decided to forget about it and move on. I knew that I wouldn't make our situation any better by telling you about it. I thought that it wouldn't come back to haunt me and we would make up and just keep going with our lives...But then I didn't have my period after two months..so..."

"How in the world would you think that we could just keep going on with our normal lives?! I can't believe this..."

"I'm so sorry Ash...You have every reason to be mad at me."

"Mad? Oh I'm not mad. Just disappointed. I thought you, of all people, would be able to keep yourself together during one of our fights. I normally am the one who gets drunk and does stupid things, not you."

Spencer bowed her head. It was even worse if the one you loved was disappointed in you instead of mad at you. She wished she hadn't started drinking but just layed in her bed crying all those days. But wishing doesn't help anymore. This is what happend. And obviously she wasn't able to turn it back, now that she ended up being pregnant. Tears rolled down Spencer's cheeks, but she didn't wipe them away. She knew there was no use, they would keep falling down anyways. Ashley saw her girlfriend breaking down inside, and couldn't keep herself from soothing Spencer. She moved her hand to wipe away the tears falling down Spencer's cheeks. She forgot how soft they were. A shiver went down her spine when their skin got in conctact with each other. She knew that she loved the girl. And even though Spencer hurt her a lot by this whole issue, she knew she couldn't make it worse than it already was and that she had to help her girl. So she sat a little closer to Spencer and held her in her arms, letting the blonde cry on her shoulder. She smelled her hair and butterflies filled her stomach. Even after the three years they've been together, she still got the same feeling from back when they were still in highschool whenever she holds Spencer in her arms.

"I promise I'll support and help you, whatever you decide to do. I'll be there babe. I won't leave you over this. We will figure it out together. I promise." She whispered in Spencer's ear. She felt the girl crunch down a little more in her arms and sob a little harder, finally letting all the fear come out.