Chapter 11: Assassination

IDON. Figure it out, son.

I have never been so wrong in my life. While I stood, petrified with surprise, the rest of people were kicking ass. Oro was drenched in vodka, courtesy of Kurenai, and had short hair now, thanks to Yuugao's obsession with cutting people's hair off for no reason. His tongue, once so long and…sleek…was being hacked through by Tenten. Put simply, I was shocked.

"HEY! Come get your girlfriend over here and try to wake her up!" Kiba called, his dog nibbling on Oro's ankle happily. Oro was trying to kick him off, and apparently he hadn't learned he was outnumbered something like fifteen to one. I dodged more vodka and knives and dragged Anko somewhere where blood and alcohol wouldn't be flying around.

I kneeled down next to her and studied her. She seemed to be alive…seemed. I couldn't resist listening to her heartbeat for proof though. The steady bum-bum-bum of her heart was such a nice contrast to my spastic BANG BANG BANG. But with the hit Kurenai gave her, Anko would be pretty brain dead for a while-- if not forever…Well, now's not the time to think that, now's the time to watch some ass kicking. Since Oro hadn't realized imps were all over him and a drunk lady was near killing him, he just stood there shocked--but permanently shocked.

Now, I don't know if we should kill him yet, but Tsunade said to, so I'll watch Neji freeze his life. The kid, though fourteen or fifteen, has mad skills. 'Nuff said. After doing the fancy thingy where he goes all fast with his arms, Oro was laying on the ground, and I noticed Kiba's dog, whose name I think is Akamaru had bitten through most of his leg…eww.

"PEOPLE! I think he's dead!" I yelled, walking over to inspect the damage. Raidou leaned over Oro and stretched out his arm to poke him.

"Don't touch him!" shrieked Ino. Raidou shrugged and tapped Oro's forehead. Orochimaru did not move. He was stricken by Neji's skillz, or dead.

"How 'bout we figger' 'dis shit out old school?" Kurenai had her last bottle, and was about to slam Oro with it, but Asuma plucked it from her hands and tossed it somewhere else. "Da' hell whazzat for?" she asked. Asuma smiled and waited patiently until she fainted into his arms, and that didn't take too long.

"Too much alcohol?" questioned Shikamaru.

"YES," replied Asuma, smiling proudly. Shika snickered. No one did anything, but they all looked at me.

"What?"

"You're the leader so--"

"OH YEAH!" it's kind of pitiful I forgot my position. "Uhh…someone check for heartbeat or something…and then go wait for the others above to finish their hole. Yeah."

"Do I have to? I don't want to check Oro's pulse…"

"FINE!" these people are freaking sissies. "I'll do it." I took Oro hand and waited until I felt a small pound. Nothing came. "Kiba."

"Yeah?"

"Make sure he's dead."

" 'Kay!" Kiba went off doing an autopsy, and I sent everyone else to either help him or record the happenings of this gay mission, and I went and sat next to Anko. While they were busy, the ceiling caved in perfectly. Up above, past the shaft of light, I heard "Hey, Mr. Squirrel!". I couldn't resist smiling for some reason. Kotetsu jumped down some forty feet to join me, but stopped a few feet before me…smiling in a totally sardonic, psychotic, knowing way.

"I'm not a leper, geez."

"I know!" he answered with a giggle.

"So, what's your fucking problem?" Is he going to hide something from me forever or will he tell me and prevent pissing me off? Seriously, what is it with people? Kotetsu pointed to my lap. I looked down, thinking there was some sort of bug crawling on me, or that I was bleeding heavily. I suddenly understood.

I didn't take note of the fact Anko's head was in my lap, and that I was stroking her hair. My mouth went dry and my cheeks bloomed a blush quickly. Rudolph spread holiday cheer in my veins. Kotetsu smirked, but said nothing.

"You, Kotetsu, say nothing, okay?"

"Alright…" Kotetsu raised an eyebrow slyly. Uh-oh, I'm screwed. "Hey, everyone, come here for a sec!" I was surprised at how fast everyone dropped their work and walked over, "Oooh"-ing. "Ready, people?"

"Anko and Genma, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes sex and a baby carriage!"

Since when did the song go like that? I remember it is as "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes whoever with a baby carriage". I don't know, but man, that was degrading. I don't think my face should be shown ever again, but for now, I have to think of an excuse.

"Who changed that part?" I asked that sharply, as a demand, but what I got was guilty laughter from everyone. "Hey, retards, guess what? I'm giving her a head massage 'cause of Kurenai!" Big time lie, and they apparently sensed it.

"SUUUUUUUURRRE…!"

"Well, I was…" Think, Genma, think! Use the brain God gave you! "Picking bugs out of her hair! Seriously, no one wants things crawling around in their hair, right?" Shino sniffed loudly and folded his arms. Haha, what a loser. Everyone else bought it, though. Saved myself from a lot there. PHEW.

"Good point, good point."

"Bugs are gross!"

"Yah, that's smart, Genma."

Everyone went back to their jobs, but Raidou stayed, watching me. I think I'm going to kill someone right now.

"What, damn you, what do you want from me?"

"I was wondering if I could borrow your kunai. Remember, I asked you this morning?" I stared at him blankly. What is he talking about?

"When did you ask me?"

"At, like, seven."

"Raidou…"

"Yes?"

"I was fucking asleep." Can he not tell the difference between a sleeping person and an awake person, or is he just so happy it doesn't matter? Raidou cocked his head.

"I thought you were awake."

"Why?"

"You were cussing." In my sleep? Oh, please.

"…I was?" I don't talk, much less cuss in my sleep.

"Yeah." Raidou replied. "It was funny. You were like, "that lil' bitch…oh damn right… 'f' that…what the 's'. That's why I thought you were awake." I can't believe this guy is my best friend. Ever since the third fucking grade. I can't believe I didn't notice being his friend was social suicide. Another thing I find strange, is that, why, why did he not say the actual cuss word? Really, who's he going to offend? I swear a lot, it's not like saying "fuck" or "shit" will make me uncomfortable, much less offend me. I don't think I'll ever understand him.

"…okay…" I took one of the tiny knives out of my pocket and tossed it to him.

"Thanks."

"What are you going to use it for?"

"Kiba asked for it. I think he's ripping Oro's guts out…"

"Well, tell him not to. Gimme that kunai." I caught the kunai he tossed back. "KIBA!"

Kiba jerked his head up.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing to Oro?"

"Um…nothing…" Kiba quickly returned his attention on Oro. Since when was he the surgeon general?

"Kiba,"

"Fine. I'll stop eviscerating him." A shudder crawled up my back. Kids are pretty advanced these days…

I gently put Anko on the ground and went off to see exactly what he was doing. Kiba tried to cover it up, but I really think the blood that was everywhere kind of gave it away. "It's nothing!" he said. "Besides, you're too squeamish."

"Sure, whatever, now move." I gently kicked him, and I saw that Kiba's progress was pretty far. I see that he had severed ties with the stomach and bladder, and had managed to cut the intestines apart. I scowled at him. "Where did you learn how to do this?" he smiled at me.

"I saw my sister doing it to a dog for autopsy!" An Inuzuka? I bet he forgot to add the part about the wails and tears from them and all that when eviscerating a dog, even for scientific purposes. Inuzukas are way too emotional. And what an Inuzuka was doing eviscerating Oro, don't ask me. I had no idea they loved gore.

"Well, stop." I hoarded everyone in a circle and gave further instruction. "People, go back to the camp and pack up all the crap. I'm going to get Anko into the hospital."

"What do I do about Kurenai?" asked Asuma. "She's drunk…and she passed out 'cause of it."

"Um, I think you should come with me. Due to her present conditions, I think medication will be necessary…" Asuma smiled gingerly and nodded.

"From now on, you are under…" I looked around. Gai was too preppy and had no common sense I knew of, Kotetsu and Izumo are busy with their "Pimp", and Raidou is just too happy to be holding such a job. "You will be under the command of Kakashi and Hayate. What any of them says, goes. Second in command…Neji." Neji raised an eyebrow. Will he stop being his sarcastic, angst-y, Hyuuga self for a sec? "Yeah, you, because you're sane. Alright, go pack up, and get to Konoha ASAP. Asuma and I will be on our cell phones. Understand?"

" 'Kay." was their monotonous reply.

"Alright."

I took Anko bridal style and jumped out of the hole with Asuma behind me. Anko was very light, and easy to carry, at least in her current state. I couldn't help but wonder what they'd do to her at the hospital. Oro was dead, he couldn't control her, but did he still remain in her mind? Will she even have a mind after Kurenai's whack today? She better for crazy bitch Kurenai's life! But still, Anko forgetting me is serious…I was hoping, praying, she would at least recall me.

Hooray, another six hours of tree hopping…but this time I'll have the moon watching me. It's maybe six or seven, so that means we should make it in six hours at our previous speed, and If we go four times as fast…the trip should be done in a hour. "Hey, Genma, I have an idea!" Asuma said brightly.

"Yeah?"

"Why don't we just teleport to Konoha? It is really a lot easier!"

"If I had energy to get two people there…" I replied. I was tired--physically, but especially mentally. "I guess I can try." Asuma was replaced by some smoke that quickly passed. I'm so tired! Ah, well, the worst that can happen-- actually, I don't know what can happen…heheheheh…

I summoned what I had left in me, and before a heart can beat or an eye can blink, we were in front of the Konoha hospital. Before I mentally passed out, I quickly took Anko in and she was admitted. I was kind of out of it then. The world and minutes went by, but my mind was frozen in thought. I don't know if it was because I was so tired, but I couldn't think straight. Everything was fuzzy, my perception of the world was fading in my eyes. I got home, and obviously skipped dinner. I don't feel like eating at all. There's no point in changing, so I simply threw myself onto the sheets and fell asleep in seconds.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Fuck you…" My alarm clock. The source of hell on earth. I mean, with those red numbers, so possessed and red…and the shape…disgusting. For some reason, the alarm wouldn't turn off. Pissed off, I took it in my hand and threw somewhere randomly. My surprise came when I heard glass shatter. It couldn't have…broken my window? I can't throw with that steroid strength. I opened my eyes and saw, sure enough, that my window was indeed broken. Not broken, but nonexistent now. Where there was once glass had been replaced by air. I haven't been awake for a minute, and hell had already broken lose…all because of my damned alarm clock. It wasn't worth shit anyway, but now I have no window. I'll worry about the window later. Let's see what Tsunade wants. I called her and waited for her to answer.

"Ah, Genma, good morning!"

"Hey…"

"Tired?"

"I'm freaking brain dead." Tsunade laughed. Good sign.

"Well, come on up to the office whenever you can. Be here before nine thirty."

"What kind of shi-- What are my errands for today?" Now for the twist. I get a lot of crap to do.

"Mm, that'll be discussed here. I had something else I wanted to talk to you about." Hoorah. Fun for me.

"Okay."

"Bye!"

She hung up. Let's see, it's eight, so that means I can shower, and then waste time by eating or something. I'm not very hungry, though. It's like my appetite faded along with my acumen.

I'm clean, I have my coffee, I'll survive. Walking out of my apartment, I was hit with warmth and sunshine, with an exotic breeze. Seriously, though, this weather is insane-- one day it's raining and cold, the next day it's freaking summery. Oh, yes, it's fall, so imagine what spring is like. Bipolar weather. On my walk there, I was still partially brain dead and trancelike.

Upon walking into the building, hands were waved in front of my face.

"WAKE UP!"

"Eh? Oh, sorry."

That's what I got. I was too slumped in a stupor to care, really. I walked into Tsunade's room and flopped into a chair. She looked up from some papers and smiled.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"How are you?"

"Tired." What an interesting conversation we're having.

"I noticed! Well, Anko is the hospital--"

"Yeah, I know." I sighed heavily. "What are my errands today?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"You get the day off," she replied.

"Huh?" Amazing! "I do?"

"Yes…now, off you go, off you go…" Tsunade waved me off, and I just left. If I had nothing to do today, why did she call me up here? God only knows, God only knows. Then, my fuzzy mind got an idea! I'm going to go visit Anko! Why didn't I think of this before? I'll go buy flowers, and all that stuff…heheh. I'm a bit anticipant, though. Anticipant about my nonexistent image in Anko's memory banks.

Damn writing is fun. REVIEW, and have a nice day!