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BPOV

I looked down, my heart was screaming stop, but my head was urging me forward. I felt torn in half; I felt immense pain. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. I hit the figure. I was now over Edward. My eyes were closed; I had at least made my brain do that much for me. I lunged forward to open my eyes. It wasn't Edward-thank god-it was Jasper. He grabbed my shoulders shaking me slightly. My brain felt slowly cleared. The cloud of immense physical and mental pain ended.

I shook my head, turning my head from left to right searching for Edward. Was he ok? What had I done?!

There he was; on his back 20 feet away from me. His eyes quickly changed from panic. He now looked composed. Standing up, brushing of his shirt, he walked over to me. Carlisle stopped him.

"Edward, let's give Bella a minute to compose herself and gain control."

"Edward, I don't want you to come anywhere near me," I told him in an almost inaudible whisper.

Esme walked over to help get me off of Jasper. "Bella, honey, all you need is a few minutes to gain more control, and you'll be fine. All of us have to learn how to control ourselves."

I shook my head in debate.

"No Esme, Edward can't come near me. That was way too dangerous. I couldn't even live with myself if I hurt Edward! I should move. I should move very far…."

I slowly turned my head to look at Edward. He face was molded into a gentle smile; mocking none the less.

I realized what I had just said. "Oh…"

I opened my mouth to try to regain some composure, but nothing came out.

"But..uhh…mh..ig. Oh…" that was all that came out with my mouth.

Edward smiled, now a gentle smile, and walked towards me slowly. I started to stop him.

"Edward, no, seriously. At least give me a few more minutes."

He, of course, didn't listen to me. He continued towards me. When reached out to grab my hand. He touched my cheek.

"Bella, you yourself now just realized, what I had to realize those many months ago."

I looked at him, and slowly nodded.

"Thanks for stopping me Jasper. I don't know what I would have done."

He nodded once. "No problem."

Carlisle interjected, "Edward, I think it is time to take Bella hunting."

I froze. I knew that it was dangerous to be around Edward if I didn't get some sustenance in me, but the thought of hunting, worried me.

Edward saw the look in my eyes. "I think we better get home to Charlie first. We have to reassure him that I am still safe." He looked at me a winked.

He ushered me out of the door and into his car. I couldn't object to him getting into the driver's seat.

He decided to drive slowly, we were in no rush to get home.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I was trying to stop…I just…couldn't. It felt…painful, but more mental. The struggle between the 2 things I wanted. It was horrible."

"Bella, you have nothing to apologize for. That would be utterly absurd. I know exactly what you went through, and I am just extremely sorry that you had the unfortunate experience. I should have taken you hunting earlier…we could have avoided this whole mess."

Again, I began to panic.

"Edward, I know this sounds unbelievably juvenile, but, I don't know if I can kill…animals. I mean, I know that I'm not a vegetarian or anything. But do you honestly believe that I could kill an animal? I mean, I think I would just panic!"

He held back a laugh. "Bella, honey, I know the thought is a little scary to you right now. But when you're actually in that mind set, the one you get into when you hunt, it's almost as if it isn't even you anymore. All of those fears you have will wipe away because it is irrational for a vampire to have those feelings."

I knew that the thought of not being in total control and in my mind set should have scared me, but it didn't. I almost felt relieved. If I didn't have these fears and thoughts while I was actually doing it, then it would be easier to get through with it.

I exhaled.

Edward grabbed my hand. "See, there. Now can you relax and not have a hernia every time the word 'hunting' is uttered?

"If I must," I answered smiling.

We pulled up to my house to find that Charlie was not there. We walked into the house where there was a note on the table.

Hey Bell,

I've gone fishing with Billy for the day…maybe even for the night.

I'll be back tomorrow night.

I know you can take care of yourself.

Have fun and be safe.

- Dad

P.S. I trust you enough to know you will still have curfews for boys.

I laughed. "I love it how he uses the word "boys" when he knows perfectly well that I only have one boy that I love."

Edward read the note over my shoulder. "Well you never know, there are many people who could potentially be of some competition to me."

I laughed. "Edward, how many times do I have to say it? I don't care how many people like me. I wouldn't even care if George Clooney loved me! I love you, I only love you, and I will only love you for the rest of eternity. I mean for heaven sakes Edward! I'm not engaged to be Mrs. Edward Anthony Mason Cullen for no reason!"

He smiled my favorite, breathtaking, smile as I spoke my last line.

"Bella, you have no idea how that line just made me feel."

He kissed me in our kitchen.

"Just a little while longer…" I heard Edward whisper.

"You're unbelievable…" I told him smiling.

"Maybe."

It was quiet for a minute. I knew what he was going to say before he said it.

"Bella, I think it's time for you to hunt. You need to."

I nodded, knowing that I had nothing to fear.

"I'll call Carlisle so he can come get you."

It was then that I fully realized that Edward wouldn't be with me.

He saw my posture change.

"Bella I know you're worried, but I'll be right here waiting for you when you get back. We have the whole night to ourselves." He added with a grin.

"Oh. Well then, the sooner I leave the sooner I come back." I laughed. "Where is Carlisle anyway? It's already been 2 minutes; he should be here by now." I smiled at my own joke. Edward joined me.

Not a second later, Carlisle walked into the house with a smile on his face.

"You ready to hunt?"

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