The bus was late, because buses always are, so it took a little longer than anticipated to reach the fabled resting place of Joey Trombone's body. It had been an awkward ride, especially for the Hitcher as his image still hadn't been updated much and he'd attracted some rather odd looks on the bus. But none of that mattered now, because here they were, outside the cave in the park.
The park was sunny as was the weather, and the sounds of children at play drifted pleasantly on the warm breeze. However, the closer the three pilgrims got to the cave, the chillier the air got and the deader the silence until they could almost believe they had entered a different planet altogether. A lightning crack went off unexpectedly, making them all jump and glance about nervously.
Affecting a laugh to hide his discomfort, the Hitcher ploughed on ahead in to the cave, shouting for his followers to keep up. Nervously, Howard and Vince exchanged looks before doing as they were told.
"Here it is, Joey Trombone's grave," the green Cockney leered, pointing to something on the dank, cold floor. There was silence except for the dripping of unseen water as they two other men crowded closer for a look.
"There's nothing there!" Vince protested.
And he was right, or so it appeared at first. On initial inspection it seemed as if all that remained of the key-holder was a small puddle of lime green goo, which on a closer look turned out to be faintly glowing moss. But if one followed the glow of the moss, the eye fell on the dimly silhouetted form of a particular musical instrument – a trombone, with a scarf wrapped around it - a stripy scarf (coincidence!) that had been intended to keep out the cold and had failed miserably.
"Joey Trombone's skull…" Howard breathed in awe, going down on one knee beside it and laying a reverent hand on its side.
"There 'e is, boy, there 'e is," the Hitcher grinned, giving it a rather irreverent nudge with the tip of his walking cane. "Now all you need to do is unlock it and find the Juju hidden away inside his woodwind cranium."
Howard looked up quickly. "It's not a woodwind instrument; it's actually a member of the brass family."
"Do you want me to piss on your brass family? Hurry up boy, or I'll set my gummy snakes on you."
"Yes sir, thank you sir," was the fearful whimper of a reply. The jazz genius reached under his shirt to retrieve the key, only to find the precious item missing. Jaw dropping a little in surprise, he stood up and turned out both his pockets then turned out his survival pack on the floor of the cave. The key was nowhere to be found.
An ominous silence descended to be suddenly broken with Vince's revelatory "Oh!" as he remembered he had taken the key and its coveted popcorn link chain earlier. "Don't worry, I've got it right here," he smiled confidently, a hand going to his throat to unfasten the chain. Just like his friend before him, he found that it had gone.
"You took it!" Howard accused with wild anger. "You took it and you lost it! Now we'll never bring that Honey Monster to justice! This is all your fault, I don't think I'll ever be able to speak to you again."
"Alright, calm down," Vince sulked vocally to hide his hurt at being blamed. "It must have fallen off on the way; I'll go back and look for it."
He turned to leave, but the Hitcher caught him by the elbow and pulled him back. "It doesn't matter lad, I've got a little secret to tell you. That key didn't contain any Juju magic at all; it was all an elaborate ruse to help you get your crimping confidence back. The last half hour of your life was just wasted, I'm pure evil!"
There was a double chorus of startled and angry "What?"s.
"You heard me, now 'op along and bring justice into the world. All you'll ever need to overcome your fear is here, inside." He reached out and laid a hand on Vince's chest, only to have it slapped away.
"Stop trying to nick my Euros!"
"Sorry boy, old habits die hard. Good luck to the both of you, and remember my promise." The deceitful, but quite possibly kind-hearted Cockney began to turn away, but then an idea struck him and he turned back for one final piece of advice. "There may not be magic in that key, but take Joey Trombone's skull with you, it might come in handy." With a click of his heels that shouldn't have been possible for one of his great age, he hobbled off singing quietly to himself "I'm a Cockney geezer, watch me bleed ya, I knew the ripper when he was…" The sound died in a clap of thunder and lightning that erased him from sight.
Vince looked to Howard, the previous squabble of only a few seconds ago forgotten amongst the multitude of unforgivable others. "What do we do now?"
"Just what he said, sir," Was the grinning reply, as Howard hefted Joey Trombone's dust-covered skull from the floor and slung it expertly over one shoulder. "We're going to go and get justice!"