Hello again. This update was a little slower, but at least the chapter isn't ridiculously short.
You know, I got Warriors Orochi recently (yes, I know I'm behind) and what is wrong with Lu Xun's voice?! And his whole personality for that matter?If that's the voice actor they're going to give him for DW6, I'm going to have to... to...
... SEND KOEI A VERY ANGRY LETTER!!!
Anyways, enjoy!
Ling Tong positively howled with laughter.
"Shut up, Ling Tong! I've already got a headache!" Gan Ning groaned, cradling his hung-over head.
Lu Xun sighed exasperatedly. "Well, did you try being polite? Maybe then she wouldn't have hit you so hard."
Gan Ning glared at Xun. "Yeah, I tried. She just said either I'd been spending too much time with you, or I was drunk."
"And were you?"
"Of course he was," Ling Tong answered, making the pirate look very disgruntled indeed.
"I was not! Not very drunk, anyway."
"If you weren't drunk, then why do you have a hangover?"
"I don't. I just have a really, really bad headache. For no reason at all."
Tong shook his head, still grinning. Then he turned to Lu Xun.
"So? Did you speak to the Lady Sun Qiang last night?"
"Briefly. Why?"
"Oooooh!" Gan Ning oohed, glad of a change of subject. "Someone's got a crush on the princess!"
Ling Tong grinned, but gave him a despairing look, for Xun's sake. "I think we've established he's not the only one who fancies a princess."
Gan Ning waved it away. "Our Xunnie-boy's growing up!"
"What are you two on about?" Lu Xun was looking at them both in shock. "I don't… I don't-"
"But you do think she's pretty, right?"
"What- well, of course I do!" Xun stammered, caught off guard, and earning a grin from the pirate and Ling Tong. "But, I mean, she's the daughter of a Qiao, she can't help but be beautiful."
"Hold on, I said pretty," Gan Ning grinned, momentarily forgetting about his hang-over. Tong sniggered.
Lu Xun gave them both a withering look. "You're picking at straws, here."
"So what did you say to her?"
"Last night? I don't know… I asked her how she was feeling. Her father has just passed away, you know."
That brought a chilly silence over the three friends.
"Ouch," Ling Tong said finally. "You talked to her about that at a party?"
"I think you need some lessons from the lurrve doctor." Ning grinned, putting an arm around the young strategist-in-training and posing.
Lu Xun gave him a one of his patented Looks. "Sorry, didn't Lady Sun punch you last night when you tried to kiss her?"
There was a pause.
Gan Ning grabbed Xun's hat. "Yoink!"
He then stumbled to his feet and proceeded to run off, cackling.
---
It wasn't just Gan Ning who was hung-over from the party. Most of Wu were busy hiding themselves away in dark cupboards and groaning in pain.
But possibly the worst part of it was that some people still had duties to carry out, even on this most horrible of horrible days.
"I don't know, Cheng Pu…" Huang Gai mumbled, resting his pounding head against the blissfully cool wall. "Check in the weapons shed?"
"Right. Hang on, it's a bit dark in there, can I borrow this candle?"
Huang Gai turned slowly, and his eyes widened.
"THAT'S NOT A CANDLE!"
"What?" asked Cheng Pu, lighting the 'cand-
BOOM!
---
Sun Quan himself had somehow managed to avoid being punished with a hangover, despite the copious amounts of alcohol he had chugged down the night before. And so he had decided to use this day of relative quiet while most generals slept, to endeavour to do something potentially embarrassing. And he had dragged his bodyguard and the resident expert on the subject to help him.
Quan had never been good with horses. But, now he was the leader of the Wu kingdom, he thought he should know how to ride one without falling off. And so here he was, on the back of the horse he had chosen himself.
On reflection, it hadn't been a very good choice.
The horse snorted, its eyes rolling.
"That's not good, if it does that, is it?"
Zhou Tai exchanged despairing glances with Taishi Ci. "No."
"Oh dear. Why?"
"The horse you chose is a little bit wild, sir." Ci said, closing his eyes against the harsh sunlight. "Just don't agitate it."
"Okay. Maybe I should give it a sugar cube." So saying, Quan waved one around the horse's eye area, and then, reaching to feed it to the horse, stuffed it up its nose instead.
Needless to say, Quan was left in a hay bale, clouds of dust billowing around him, his horse a speck in the distance.
Taishi Ci sighed. "Better luck next time, my lord."
Zhou Tai just grunted.
And, because some people have a knack of choosing the worse days to pay a visit on, that's when the messenger arrived, with news of a guest.
He gave Sun Quan a funny look, then said, "Erm, there's a man from Shu here to see you and Lord Zhou Yu, my lord. He says it's urgent…"
---
Zhuge Liang was not impressed.
He had arrived at Wu and expected a formal welcome, which in itself was something of an oxymoron. But what did he get?
A drunken, half-dressed pirate charging like a maddened horse towards him, carrying a hat, and pursued by … an actual maddened horse. Liang had sidestepped out of the way, and sent a couple of men to calm the horse, and the man.
Oh, and also, two old men who were… slightly singed, to say the least. Not to mention hung-over.
And last, but not least, Sun Quan himself. At least… he thought it was Sun Quan. It was hard to tell underneath all the mud and straw.
Once he had managed to gather the various… individuals, plus two young men who had arrived, out of breath, in pursuance of the pirate, Zhuge Liang raised an eyebrow, and, like a teacher scolding his pupils, addressed them.
"I am most disappointed. This is the mighty Wu kingdom?"
"Most of it," said the pirate, grinning weakly. The boy next to him gave him a sullen glare, and snatched the hat, putting it firmly on his head.
Sun Quan coughed, deeply embarrassed. "You just caught us at a bad time, I'm afraid."
"I'm sure," the Shu strategist said coldly.
"Yes… well… shall we?" Sun Quan said, adjusting his collar.
"Hmmm…"
As they left, Lu Xun narrowed his eyes at Zhuge Liang's retreating back with an intense dislike instilled within him by Zhou Yu. "He thinks he's so clever…"
Liang turned, and walked slowly to the strategist-in-training, appraising him. "Lu Xun, isn't it? Zhou Yu's prodigy."
Xun bowed his head, but not his eyes, holding the great Zhuge Liang's gaze with a sharp golden glare.
Zhuge Liang smiled. This boy, he thought, will one day be as great a rival to me as Sima Yi, if not more...
He turned away and followed Sun Quan, saying over his shoulder, "I don't think I'm so clever, Lu Xun, I know."
---
"Oh, Zhou Yu!" Sun Quan looked at him in surprise as the strategist entered the room. "I thought you were ill!"
"I, er… I was. But then I felt better."
"Oh, good. Since you're feeling better, do you think you could help me with this paperwork-"
"Not that much better."
"Zhou Yu," said a calm voice.
Zhou Yu winced, turning. "Zhuge Liang," he said stiffly.
The two rival strategists were exaggeratedly polite towards each other, bowing and offering other small courtesies until it became almost a competition. But underneath it, they were exchanging veiled threats and insults.
Before long, Sun Quan, stuck in the middle, became increasingly frustrated. He would almost have preferred it if they were at loggerheads. At least it was honest.
"Right, well, small talk aside, what was it you wanted to tell us, Lord Zhuge Liang?"
Zhuge Liang steepled his fingers. "It relates to the situation in Jing. With Cao Cao. I suggest forming an alliance against him."
Zhou Yu and Sun Quan exchanged glances.
Zhuge Liang smiled, and when he did, there was something of his arch rival Sima Yi in him.
"And, Zhou Yu, if you need persuading, I have a little something you might want to hear…"
---
Xiao Qiao whistled she looked absently out the window. She and Zhou Yu had arranged to spend some time together with the 'Zhoulings', as Xiao called them, but Zhuge Liang's visit had thrown it off schedule. So here she was, waiting outside the conference room.
The door burst open and slammed against the wall. Zhou Yu stormed out, his brown eyes blazing with rage. He saw Xiao and took her hand, holding it tightly as he turned back to Zhuge Liang and Sun Quan, who where exiting the room with rather more composure.
"This is an outrage! My lord, I hate to say it, but I agree with Zhuge Liang," he said, losing all pretence of politeness. "We must go to war!"
"Zhou Yu, I agree with you," Sun Quan said patiently, "but you are supposed to be my strategist - decide with your head, not your heart, what you think is best."
Yu took a deep breath and looked at the little Qiao, then back at Sun Quan.
"Strategically… yes. Yes, I still say we should go to war."
"Zhou Yu?" this time it was Xiao who spoke, looking away from Zhuge Liang's smirk to her husband. "What's going on?"
"Nothing, Xiao, just… It doesn't matter." He squeezed her hand. "Come on, let's go and see the children." He led her down the hall, Xiao looking back, confused, at the other two men.
---
Gossip spreads fast in Wu, even if the people who knew first don't tell a soul. And most of the time, the people involved are the last to find out.
And the first?
"Cao Cao!" Ling Tong made a face. "That's disgusting!"
"Zhou Yu must have flipped." Taishi Ci frowned. "How do you know this anyway?"
Gan Ning grinned and tapped the side of his nose. "I have ears everywhere…"
Ling Tong snorted. "What, even-"
"Except there."
---
"Lord Lu Meng? You're mumbling again."
"Sorry," Lu Meng said, his voice slurred. He whacked his head against the desk and sat up, shaking his head vigorously.
Lu Xun stared at him in alarm. "Does that help?"
"Not really," Meng said, blinking, "but it drowns out the other pain for a while. As I was saying…" he groaned, "Urgh… I don't know what I was saying. I don't even know where I am anymore…" He whacked his head against the desk again.
"Maybe you should stop doing that, Lord Lu Meng…"
"Splendiferous idea, my boy. I don't know why I'm teaching you, you should be teaching me!" Meng's head sank slowly down to the desk.
"Yes, well." Lu Xun stood up and propped his mentor up against the chair.
Lu Meng was renowned for having the worst hangovers in Wu, possibly even in all of the three kingdoms. He had vowed never to touch a drop of alcohol ever again just the week before. And the week before that… and the week before that…
Somehow, he always found an excuse to break that vow.
"Lord Lu Meng, do you think we should continue this lesson tomorrow? When you're feeling better?"
"When? You mean if! Oh, will the pain never stop?" So saying, he hit his head against the desk again, with an almighty THWACK!
"Ooh… that's better…" he collapsed on the floor, twitching.
Lu Xun backed away cautiously and edged out of the room.
"Lu Xun?"
He stood up sharply and slammed the door shut. Lu Meng squeaked from inside.
Sun Qiang was looking at him with a concerned expression on her face.
"Um, did I hear a noise?"
"It's Lord Lu Meng, princess, he's, he's, er…" Xun tried to think of a word to describe Lu Meng's current state, and failed, so he went with: "He's not feeling very well."
"Oh. Erm, do you know where Zhou Yu is? He's finished with Zhuge Liang, but I don't know where he went after that."
Lu Xun frowned. "Didn't you talk to him yesterday?"
"Yes, but… he didn't really give me a straight answer."
"Oh. No, I'm sorry; I don't know where he is, then."
"'Kay. Thanks anyway." She turned to go, and then stopped as if she'd thought of something.
"Lu Xun?"
"Yes?" Xun said, a little too quickly.
"I don't suppose you know who Yu Ji is, do you?"
Xun stared. 'Gods above. She doesn't know who…She doesn't even know… She's been so sheltered from… from everything…'
"Xun?"
"Ahm…" Xun didn't know whether to tell her or not. "I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask, princess."
"But you do know."
"…Ye-es…"
"And are you going to tell me?"
"… I don't know."
Qiang sighed. "Why not?"
Lu Xun swallowed. "Because..."
Sun Qiang waited patiently while he squirmed, then gave up.
"Oh, it doesn't matter. I'll ask Uncle Yu. I just don't see why everyone's keeping secrets from me."
Lu Xun watched her walk away.
'Because we don't want to spoil your innocence, Princess. That's why.'
---
"Daddy! Daddy, look, I drew a picture!"
Zhou Yu smiled distractedly. "It's wonderful, darling. What is it?"
His daughter pouted. "It's you, thilly."
Yu looked dispassionately at the colourful, smiling scribble that was supposedly him, feigning interest. "Oh, yes. Of course."
"Daddy!" Ying whined. "You're thupposed to thay it's a mathterpieth!"
"Don't worry about it, Ying." Xiao said, stroking her daughter's hair. "Daddy's just being a little funny today." She gave him a disapproving look.
"Humph." Little Ying toddled off to pester her brothers.
Zhou Yu shook his head. "I swear she puts on that lisp just to sound cute."
"I don't know where she'd get that idea from," Xiao said innocently. "But stop trying to change the subject! What's wrong?"
Yu tried to avoid his wife's gaze.
"Zhou Yu, look at me."
He did as he was told.
Xiao sat up straight and folded her arms, appraising him. "What's up?"
"Nothing," Zhou Yu lied.
"You can't lie to me. You've been acting strangely ever since you came out of that meeting. Now, I know Zhuge Liang gets you all riled up, and frankly I can't blame you. That man is a manipulating bast-"
"Language, Xiao. The children are here."
She looked put off. "Fine, he's a manipulating… erm… silly-billy." She ignored Yu's chuckles. "But that's not what's bothering you, is it?"
"… Not really…" Yu said, noncommittally.
"Yu-u!" She rested her chin on his shoulder and looked up imploringly at him, fluttering her eyelashes. "Please tell me what's wrong."
He exhaled deeply. "It's just… something Zhuge Liang told me."
"So it is him?"
"…No. No, it's Cao Cao…"
Xiao Qiao kept her eyes on him, aware she was getting somewhere. "Yes?"
He shook his head. "I can't tell you with the children here."
Xiao rolled her eyes. "Zhoulings!" she called. "Atten-shun!"
The three children assembled in a row before their mother. Yin even saluted. Their mother took a good, long look at them.
"Zhoulings… dismissed!" she saluted, and her children marched off.
Xiao turned back to Zhou Yu. "Go on."
Zhou Yu blinked, astonished at his wife's command over the unruly 'Zhoulings'.
"Er…" He turned his attention back to Xiao, looking her in the eyes. "Xiao, I… I don't want to scare you."
"Scare me! Now I'm scared!"
Yu took a deep breath. "Zhuge Liang… read a poem to me-"
"And that's what upset you? Blimey, I thought you were made of sterner stuff than that! Okay, Yu, calm down. I know the thought of Zhuge Liang reading, of all things, a poem, might be scary, but-"
"No, Xiao, I had more."
"Oh."
Some people who didn't know Xiao as well as Yu did might have thought she was making fun. Zhou Yu knew better, so he knew how Xiao Qiao took things very seriously.
"It was written by Cao Cao's son. It, er… talks about Cao Cao's Bronze Bird Pavilion." He chanced a look at his wife. She was watching him intently. He said the last bit in one breath. "He wants you and Da to be his concubines."
Xiao's eyes widened fearfully. She curled up and hid her face. "It's Dong Zhuo all over again…"
Zhou Yu shuffled closer and cuddled her. "Xiao, Xiao, Xiao," he murmured, kissing the top of her head and rocking her gently. "I'm not going to let him take you away. Hey? I'm not going to let him. I'm going to fight him."
Xiao looked up at him and smiled sweetly, wiping frightened tears away.
"Really? You're going to go to war for me? That's so romantic…"
Zhou Yu chuckled. He was no longer in that terrible rage. Just a moment in Xiao's company lifted his spirits.
"That's right. I'm going to war for you."
---
And as Zhuge Liang left Wu, he allowed himself a small smile. Oh, his rivals might think they were staying a step ahead, but he was on his second lap.
Oh dear, I wanted so badly to write Zhuge Liang thinking 'Dayum, I'm good! Those other strategists ain't got nothin' on me', but I it would ruin the dramatic effect.
This wasn't meant to be a comedy btw, (it still isn't :p) but I have discovered I can't write seriously all the way through. A perfect example of this is Lu Meng... I'm not sure if I was on a sugar high or what when I wrote that bit.
Hmm... there's not a lot of Qiang in this chapter, but I haven't lost the plot... yet. She just couldn't think of anything to say.
And so ends the incredibly condensed an historically innaccurate version of events leading up to Chi Bi. R&R! Speaking of which, 300 hits and 7 reviews?! Shocking:p Unless, of course, it's the same few people reading it over and over again, which is fine. But I do worry about their social lives.
So, to save me from worrying, R&R!