Spoilers: 7X23: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE DOMINATRIX
Disclaimer: CSI and it's characters belong to its creators and CBS, this is just my fanciful interpretation at what the cameras don't show.
Author's Note: It hasn't been beta'd so all errors are mine. Also this chapter is dedicated to Joan Powers whose review inspired it.

Without looking up from the report he'd been reviewing Grissom was aware Brass had strolled into the office and plunked a pill bottle on the desk. With arms crossed, leaning against the desk's edge, Jim feigned indifference, but Gil had observed too many interrogations to be fooled by that tactic. Setting the report aside, he picked up the bottle noticing it was an over the counter pain killer. "What's this for?"

"Thought you might need it after Sara hears the wild rumors about what you were doing at Lady Heather's place. Sleeping on that monstrosity you call a couch can't be good for your back."

Gil wasn't sure how to respond and was grateful when Jim left as abruptly as he'd arrived. So Brass not only knew about his relationship with Sara, but had made some assumptions about it. Those assumptions were wrong of course, they never fought at home, Gil frowned. In retrospect he spotted a disturbing pattern. This afternoon she'd seemed both angry and upset until she realized he was there, but then she had kissed him instead of yelling at him and they made love rather than discussing what was wrong. It had been the same way with the sabbatical. Staring at the empty chair, he remembered how she'd once sat there and told him that she sometimes looked for validation in inappropriate places.

Shit, he thought as he snatched up his keys and the assignment slips to sprint to the break room to thrust the slips into Catherine's hands. Had she been looking for validation by initiating physical intimacy? He couldn't wait until shift over to fix things with Sara; he'd waited too long already. "Cath you're in charge tonight. I gotta take care of something personal."

"More 'talking' to Lady Heather?" From her snide tone and the not so subtle emphasis, it was obvious Sara wasn't the only one upset about last night. He hated the delay, but decided to deal with Catherine now instead of waiting since Sara wasn't expecting him to join her on her night off.

"A man is truly ethical only when he obeys the compulsion to help all life which he is able to assist, and shrinks from injuring anything that lives. Albert Schweitzer. I wasn't trying to ruin your case, but Heather needed my help. I couldn't stand by and do nothing."

"Go on. We can handle it." Her hostility dissolved into an accepting smile and he smiled back; he could only hope his explanation to Sara would be as successful.

Peeking through the bedroom doorway he saw an unguarded Sara. She was propped against the headboard, wearing her most comfortable pajamas, watching what he guessed was a chick-flick and eating Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie directly from the carton. A quick scan of the bedroom, confirmed ice cream wasn't her only indulgence; he spotted the remains of a medium meatless Garlic Supreme pizza on his side of the bed and a mostly full wineglass of Merlot on the nightstand.

Having witnessed enough of Catherine's post-breakup aftermaths he recognized the signs of a full fledge pity party. It was proof that he'd made her more than angry, his thoughtlessness had hurt her. He hoped the bouquet of roses, tiramisu from her favorite restaurant and a heartfelt apology would be enough to get her to agree to talk about last night and any other issues she had.

Sara yelped in surprised when Gil suddenly appearing holding a bouquet and a take-away bag. "Why aren't you at work?"

"I had somewhere more important to be. I want to apologize to for the last couple days. Sara, I'm sorry I should have handled it better. I should have made sure that you understood what I was doing and why."

"Why did you do it?"

"Because of you." Sara glared at him. "I told you about how she didn't inform the hospital she was diabetic and nearly died. What I didn't tell you is I understood why she did that. That I knew how she was feeling because I've been there." He sat down on the bed, her leg pressing against him, giving him the strength to continue.

"When?"

"Shortly after the Haviland arraignment, You were with Hank, Gerard knew I was losing my hearing and soon I'd lose both my job and my team. I was losing everything and couldn't see a reason to go on."

Sara set her ice cream on the nightstand, dropped the things he was holding onto to the bed so she could entwine their fingers.

"I came up with dozens of different scenarios to end my life, but couldn't do it because of you." He squeezed her hands. "Last night I helped Heather see that even without custody her granddaughter was reason enough to live."

Releasing one hand he brushed away the streaking tear before cupping her cheek. "Honey, I was wrong not to consider how my actions affected you or imagine how much it would hurt you to hear those rumors and I'm sorry. "

"Okay."

And looking into her eyes he believed her. It was okay because she had accepted his apology and could forgive him again. When she brushed her lips against his, he pulled back. "We also need to talk about this afternoon. Sara I know what I did made you angry and hurt, so why didn't you…"

"What? Get angry, yell or start a fight? Because that's how my parents were and I don't..."

"Honey, we aren't going to become your parents, but we need to find a better way to deal with our issues."

"I guess making love didn't solve anything either." Her smile was bashful as she looked up at him.

"It is better than fighting." He admitted with a smirk, he stopped shifting closer to her when a paper crackled. Pulling it out from between them, he recognized it as the letter he'd written while on sabbatical. "Maybe next time we should write letters instead."

Sara's answering smile was radiant as she nodded in agreement.

It was only after Grissom was settled on the bed next to her in his own pajamas eating pizza and sipping wine that he thought maybe Nietzche was right, "The most spiritual men… find their happiness where others would find their destruction:"