Here's the first real chapter. Enjoy. More to come.
...Irrevocable...
Impossible to be retracted or recalled; unable to be repealed or annulled; unchangeable; irreversible; unalterable; as an irrevocable fate...
XxxXx...2 years later...xXxxX
"Cloudddddd," Sora screamed from the first floor. "You have work in like 30 minutes."
I exited the bathroom and straightened my shirt. I walked slowly down the staircase and eyed my brother, "And you had class at 8 and are still home." I pointed to my wrist like I had a watch. Who used watches these days?
Sora shrugged. "Who cares? I'm not getting paid for that crap." Sora walked away. He sat himself down on the couch and flipped on the PS2. The conversation was obviously over.
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. I never drank before... Things change I guess. I sat at the table and stared out the window. The sun shown. It made me cringe.
He loved being out at night. When we first started dating, I worked nights. He made me switch to days so we could be together after dark. I had considered switching back to my old shift, just to fill the nights. They were bleak and lifeless without him.
I took another drink.
"Sora, I'll be home around 5. Try to be here for dinner, for once," I said, not expecting a response. I grabbed my backpack and took off. Only in SOLDIER would there be a 100 grand paying job that required black jeans and a backpack.
Work was about seven miles away. I usually walked, well ran. I cursed myself for waking up late. I needed to run more. I was out of shape, at risk of losing my position, and yet, I couldn't bring myself to care.
My black Volvo purred under my hands. Zero to 60 in seconds flat. God, I loved this car. It was a gift from him. One of many.
No one said "hi" to me anymore. No reason to. It's not like I ever said anything back. The secretary smiled at me anyway. She always did. I think she's liked me for a while. Pointless.
I jogged up the four flights of stairs and pretended it made up for the months of inactivity. I sprinted to the briefing room and took a seat at the back of the table.
"Nice of you to join us, Mr. Strife," Sephiroth snarled. "Now, before Strife interrupted us, I was discussing the infiltration at..."
And my mind turned off. I didn't care about the specifics. I just needed to know when we were leaving to tell Sora. Then I could go maim whoever I felt like. I needed the release of tension. Dear God, did I need that release.
A few minutes passed filled with maps, charts and "informative packets." None of which I paid any mind to. Sephiroth noticed this and shook his head. He also noticed that I didn't give a shit. Ten to fifteen minutes later, the final screen to his powerpoint appeared.
"We're going to Luca in a week. We'll be there for approximately two weeks," He stood from the table. "You're all dismissed, except you, Strife."
Of course it was me. It's always me. It always has been me. I lean back in my chair as everyone files out behind me. Sephiroth approaches me. A man with red hair stood behind him. I suddenly realized what this was all about.
"As much as I don't like to admit it, you're a damn good fighter," Sephiroth said, looking directly through me. I think the wall behind me was showing through my eyes. "Reno here just joined us from a different division. He can only train at night. The sun burns his eyes. Some medical condition."
He paused. I believe he expected me to say something here, but I knew no matter what I said, I would be stuck with the job. I stared at the wall behind him. It reflected on his hair.
"He'll be perfect for us. We need someone else that's good at night fighting. Cloud, you're new shift will be from 5 to midnight. I made it shorter. I know you have you brother with you," Sephiroth explained.
He paused again. I knew he expected a thank you. I wouldn't give him any of the sort. He was a bastard.
"You're free to leave," Sephiroth said. "Come back around 6."
He turned and walked out of the briefing room. I looked at my new "partner." "Nice sun goggles," I snickered and pointed to his forehead.
He snorted, "Nice hair."
I threw back his insult and moved on. "So, do you really need training? Or can we be adults and slack off?"
"Whatever you want," Reno stood in front of me. "I've been in service for more years than these guys need to know about."
I raised an eyebrow. "Well, then," I stood and stretched. "You new to Balamb?" I didn't know what to think of this guy. He was about the same height as me. He wore all black and a white undershirt. He looked more like he was going out than going to battle.
"You could say that," He said looking over my shoulder. Was the window to the hallway that entertaining?
I walked in front of his gaze. "Whatever. Meet here around 7." I started toward the door.
"I thought Sephiroth said 6?" for a question, his voice was quite monotone.
I snickered, "Rule 1: Everything Sephiroth says is up to interpretation." I opened the door, "See you at 7."
I decided to change into some sweats. If we were really leaving in two weeks, I needed to tone up. I parked my Volvo behind some tress. I didn't need jealous kids keying it.
The park wasn't exactly beautiful. The trees were diseased and the paths were overgrown with moss and weeds. Plus side to the city's lack of involvement in the upkeep of public place: No one ran the paths. I was free to run as fast as I wanted and for as long as I wanted without worrying about tripping over Little Miss Molly and her small yipping dog.
It was only 10 a.m. when I started my run. I figured I could go about two hours without stopping. In my prime that number was doubled.
Running gave me time to think. Nothing else was going on except my mp3 player of choice running random songs through my head. Even then, the songs did nothing for my conscious. That's probably why I stopped running for long stretches of time; running left too much time for my thoughts.
TV, movies, video games, cooking, cleaning, doing taxes and talking to Aerith all provided me with distractions from the hideous facts of life. But running, running was mindless and didn't control all my thoughts.
I completed my first lap of the park and was all ready slipping back into the past. The night I got the call burned behind my eyes. I thought they were joking. Vincent was smarter than that. He wouldn't let one of his experiments get the best of him. Then again, this particular experiment he kept quite concealed. He claimed it was top secret, but we worked for the same company.
The past two years were full of theories. Most of them made me sound crazy. Most of them I never thought twice about. Except one.
The calling hours were closed casket. Lazard said the experiment left him unrecognizable. They had to use dental records to identify him. It was for my best record that I didn't see the body. Or so they said.
I tried to tell them that I didn't care, that I needed closure. No one listened. So I said goodbye to a black box. Not exactly what I had in mind.
But what if he wasn't in the box? What if he never really died?
Those thoughts go through everyone's head. I had to keep telling myself that. I had to tell myself that I was sane. That this was normal. I could make up theories that my fiance was still alive somewhere or Lazard was hiding him.
Maybe Vincent had found something the company didn't want him to... Maybe he found something and wanted to leave the company and they wouldn't let him.. Maybe I'm just crazy.
I tripped on a hole and fell to my knees. Something wet fell on my hand. I was, crying? I shook my head. This is exactly why I didn't run.
I glanced at my watch. Only 10:45. Hours until I had to be anywhere. I needed to get my mind off of things. I drove home for a nap.
I woke up to Sora and our cousin Roxas coming home from class. At 4 p.m. I groaned as I sat up from the couch.
"I don't know who he is, I just know he's different," Roxas was telling Sora. "He's in my night classes."
"Just because some guy is tall, beautiful and you only see him at night doesn't mean he's different, Roxas," Sora turned and noticed me on the couch. I wasn't supposed to be home until 5. "Cloud?! Don't tell me they fired you."
I laughed and ran a hand through my hair. "No such luck," I stood and made my way to the kitchen. All of the sudden I was quite perished. "Got moved to nights again. Have to train some guy who supposably can't be out in the day. Something about his eyesight."
Roxas point energetically in my general direction, "See! They're at SOLDIER too!"
Sora laughed as he shook his head, "I'm really doubting that some college student has anything to do with a first at SOLDIER." Sora's face turned to a frown. "So, you're not going to be around much anymore?"
I chuckled and patted my brother's hair. "It's not like you're around enough to miss me," I said with a smile. I loved my brother. I really did. Good kid. Not too many friends, basically just Roxas and Namine. Never did a bad thing in his life. Complete opposite of me.
Sora ducked from my hand. "I'll still miss you." I nodded, expecting him to say more. "Still doing dinner tonight?"
"You bet," I smiled. "You staying for dinner, too, Roxas?"
"Depends. I have class at 7. Will we be done by then?" Roxas plopped himself on the couch.
"Well, considering I have to be at work at 7, I can even drive you to class," I walked to the kitchen and grabbed three steaks from the freezer. I listened to make sure the two were still alive, and that Sora wasn't freaking out.
Sora has lived with me since he started college. Mom and dad lived about an hour out of the city in a small suburb. Sora wanted to go to school here but was against the dorm life. About three months after he moved in, our home was attacked by Wutai troops. They left no survivors.
He's lived with me for three and a half years and dealt with my insanity. He probably knew me switching shifts had some deeper meaning. He was probably waiting for Roxas to leave so I could tell him. I sighed and defrosted the steak.
I had to tell him I was leaving. He would worry. I grabbed a beer and walked back to the living room.
Roxas and Sora were watching some random anime. I tapped Sora's shoulder, "Hey, can you come to the kitchen for a minute?"
Sora stood and shot me a very unhappy face. He nodded as he moved to the kitchen. He took a seat. "When are you leaving?"
I sighed and took a drink. "A week. Sephiroth says we'll be gone for two."
Sora nodded. It had been a few months since I left. He didn't like being left alone in a huge house. "Where are you going?"
"You know I'm not supposed to tell you that," I smiled.
"And you know you will anyway," he stuck out his tongue at me.
"You know me too well," I walked over to the microwave and checked on the thawing steaks. "Luca. I didn't pay attention to the brief. We recruited some new guy to come along with us. Only firsts going. Should be a quick job since we all know what we're doing."
"Or a tough job and they only want the best going and then you'll end up hurt or dead," Sora whined with his puppy dog eyes.
I took the seat beside him and put an arm around his shoulder. "It's going to take a lot more than some Luca soldiers to hurt let alone kill me."
"A bit cocky are we?" Sora chuckled.
"Just enough," I released him and remained seated. I was the best out there. Sephiroth even said so. Sure, I wasn't in the greatest shape, but I was the best regardless. "Just try not to worry too much. I'll ask Roxas to stay with you while I'm away."
Sora shifted in his seat, staring at a cup on the table. "You don't have to..."
"I know, but we both know it will be for the best," I moved from the table and set the over to broil. "Go have fun with Roxas. Don't worry about me. I'll be training all day and night."
Sora walked over to the counter and grabbed my beer. I thought he was going to take a drink. Nope. He poured it down the sink. He then walked to the fridge and grabbed the remaining cans. "You're not drinking. You're doing nothing that will increase the chances of you... of you dying."
I nodded. Vincent's death was hard on Sora, too. He looked up to him like he was a brother. He practically was, to Sora. I couldn't imagine what losing me would do to him. I should have known better than to drink in front of him. "I won't do anything that will potentially cause harm to me."
"Thank you!" Sora exclaimed. He was suddenly hugging my waist. "You're the best!"
"There's the Sora I know and love." He released his grip and smiled. "Now go keep Roxas company. Leave him in there too long and he'll have created some theory that we'll be abducted by the new guys in town and turned into vampires."
We both bursted into laughter. Roxas was one to suspect. If only Sora knew about my little habit. He would probably laugh at me as well. Then again, it could just run in the family.
Sora exited the kitchen and I was left to my cooking. I never cooked when Vincent was alive. I never had the need to. The man could do everything. When he passed away, I was thrown into some altered reality. I couldn't even remember how to do laundry.
I met Vincent Valentine when I was 20 years old, seven years ago. My first day with SOLDIER. I wasn't really with SOLDIER, just at the headquarters. An orientation of sorts. I walked into the room with the rest of the would-be thirds, and there he was. He was standing with men in white lab coats, but he wore black, tight fitting clothing. I didn't know what to think of him.
The whole briefing was pointless. Well, I'm sure I could have learned something, but I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He wore a red bandanna. His leather pants... I don't know why, but I was hooked the moment I saw him. Then, somewhere between Sephiroth telling us we were merely pawns to the organization and Lazard demanding our lives, he looked at me.
His eyes were red. I remembered that. I wasn't sure if he was looking at me. There were at least 50 other people in the room. I was dressed exactly like they were. I didn't stand out. Then I realized I was still staring at him. I quickly looked away, but something inside of me made me look back. He was still gazing in my general direction, this time, he chuckled. I blushed.
Then, like clockwork, Sephiroth broke the orientation for lunch and within seconds he was beside me.
"Do you have a staring problem, Cloud Strife?" he said, suddenly turning to look me straight in the eyes.
My jaw dropped. I had never seen this man in my life. He knew my name. I tried to form a coherent sentence, but all I came up with was, "Yes." So many times, even now, I look back at that response and smack myself.
He laughed. His laugh was dark and infectious, but also brief. "I am Vincent Valentine. I recruited you."
I nodded. That reaction, too, in retrospect made no sense.
"I'm a scientist here. I work part time at the university doing research. Saw you on the track team once or twice," he explained. He knew I needed the explanation. "You have any plans for lunch?"
Something was burning. My veggie mix was smoking. I shook my head. I thought that after two years the flashbacks would become less frequent. I was horribly mistaken. My hands had been making dinner throughout my memory of the past. It was nearly finished. I turned from my creation to set the table.
"Roxas, Sora, dinner," I called. They walked in discussing the plot to whatever they were watching. I sighed when I thought about how this would be the last dinner we would share for upward of a month. I shook off the disappointment and put a smile on my face. No use upsetting anyone.
"Sora tells me you're leaving soon," Roxas blurted out with a mouthful of steak.
I sighed. Roxas was one for bringing up taboo subjects. "Yeah. Duty calls, I guess."
He nodded. "Do I need to worry or tell my parents or anything?" Roxas knew I couldn't tell him everything. I knew that since Vincent's death, my whole family had me on their radar, waiting for something that may make me snap.
"Nah," I glanced at Sora. He was staring at his uneaten food. I hated the thought of leaving him. "Routine stuff. The briefing was pretty basic. Just some unruly soldiers needing an ass kicking. Most of the time needed for the mission will be spent hiking through a jungle to find the dammed city."
"Good," Roxas said, now more amused by the task of slicing his food into tiny bites.
Dinner progressed quickly. I tried to keep the conversation as light as possible considering the current situation. I actually made Sora laugh a few times. Before everything happened, Sora was always smiling. He was a happy kid. Sometimes I blame myself for his change in moods. If I could only move on, maybe things would go back to normal.
Move on, hah. Like I could do that.
I cleared the table and Roxas went to gather his things for class. Sora started to wash the dishes. "Cloud?" his voice was quiet. Obvious he didn't want anyone else to hear.
"Hm?" I said while sticking left overs in the fridge. "What's up?"
"You're not as OK as you seem, right?" I looked at him. His eyes glistened in the fluorescent lighting.
I closed he refrigerator door and pulled Sora close to my body. "Sora..." his body trembled in my arms. "I don't think things are ever going to be OK again." So much loss in three years will do that to a family.
I could feel his tears soaking through my shirt. "I miss them all. So much." He took a few shallow breaths before he spoke again. "Mom.. Dad... Vincent.."
"Me too," I pulled him away a little and wiped away a few of the tears streaming down his face. "We'll make it through this. I'll be home soon then I'll work on saving up some money so I can quit SOLDIER. Please don't worry about me."
He was like this every time I left. He pictured me never coming home. Just like the rest of our family. I couldn't keep doing this to him.
"You mean it this time?" His face lightened a bit. "You'll actually work on getting out?"
I nodded. "It's what's best for us. And who knows, maybe it will help us move on. Soon you'll be done with college and we can move out of this godforsaken city."
"I like that idea," Sora nodded. "I should probably get upstairs before Roxas finds out I've been crying. He won't let me live that down for days."
"Something tells me that given the current circumstances, he wouldn't say a word," I gave him one more quick hug. "Now go upstairs and do your homework. I'll be back around midnight."
He smiled and was off to the stairs.
I grabbed my backpack and went upstairs. I picked out some clothes for tonight and shoved them into the bag. I had no plans in showing Reno how to fight; I'm sure he knew how to anyway. What I was looking for was a little human contact with someone over the age of 21. I loved Sora and Roxas, but I was pushing 30 at a rapid pace and needed a little more maturity in my life at times.
I ran down the stairs, worried I was going to get Roxas to class late. He was all ready by the door, arms crossed and tapping his foot. "You know, for someone who yells at us to get to class on time, you're late a lot."
"Pfft," I turned to find Sora at the base of the stairs. "My cell's on if you need me."
"Be good," Sora said and fell onto the couch. He really needs more friends, I thought to myself.
Once in the car, Roxas wouldn't shut up about some new guys at school. They only took night classes and didn't talk to anyone. Apparently, they were in all of Roxas' classes.
"This one, Axel I think, won't leave me alone," he seemed quite flustered by this fact. "They don't talk to anyone! But he insists on talking to me! Ugh." He slouched in the passenger seat. "I get all sorts of bad vibes from them."
"Maybe he wants you," I joked.
Roxas crossed his arms across his chest. "Not funny, Cloud," he looked out the window trying to seem upset, but then fell back into his last few thoughts. "Seriously, Cloud, you should look into them."
I raised an eyebrow to my cousin, "And just what do you think I could do?" I was in SOLDIER, but I knew nothing about weird college kids who took night classes.
"I don't know," Roxas looked out the window. "Maybe talk to your new partner...maybe he will know something."
I saw past Roxas' request. "Why are you so worried?" I said, looking at him out of the corner of my eye.
"It's just...," Roxas struggled with his words. "They remind me of something Vincent once talked about..." I could tell he was trying hard not to hurt me.
"Really?" I tried to make my voice sound more surprised than depressed. "How so?"
I saw Roxas glance at the clock, probably deciding if we had time to discuss the matters at hand. "He used to try to scare me with 'experiment stories.' I knew they were all fake. He was just trying to rattle me and Sora."
I nodded, "Sounds like something he would would do." I tried hard to pay attention and not drift away.
"This one time, he told us about a new defense he was studying," he fooled with his phone, opening and closing it, avoiding looking at me. "He said they found a way to enhance night fighting, but it had gone wrong and produced monsters that stalked the streets preying on helpless victims."
I chuckled a little. "And this is why you think these poor kids with medical conditions are a threat." I glanced away from the road long enough to see Roxas nod. "Roxas, let me assure you, there are no monsters. Vincent liked to make up stories, or glorify old ones. These guys in class are nothing to worry about." I pulled into the parking lot in front of his class. I looked at Rocas again, "You understand?"
He nodded again, "Yeah, it is kinda childish." He shrugged and grabbed his bag from the backseat. "Thanks for the ride," he said as he exited the car. "See you soon."
"Bye, Roxas," I said before he closed the door, trying not to think about the story Roxas told me, but it wasn't working. I was all ready over analyzing my cousin's brief dialouge, ripping it apart and fitting it in with my insane theories. I shook my head and started toward work.
But still, I couldn't help but think, what if some of those stories Vincent told us were real?