The One Without The Proposal

Here it is. I would just like to apologize for this episode taking slightly longer to get up here than the others... I got a bit of writers block.

Summary of ep3: Ross' proposal is ruined, Chandler get a surprise when they try a romantic weekend away togather away from the twins for the 1st time and Joey has doubts about his love life.

"Previously on friends"

Ross walked home, uplifted late that afternoon. He walked slowly through the corridors to his apartment; ring in his pocket and flowers in his hands.

Joey and Rachel were both still incredibly drunk; Rachel was trying, still in her drunken state, to clean up the mess on the floor from the shelf falling. Joey, on the other hand, was asleep (and snoring) on the sofa.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ross walked into his apartment, "Hell-" he stopped though and stared at the state of the two people occupying the apartment; Joey asleep on the couch, Rachel hovering above the floor, looking like she would topple over at any moment as she picked up the mess from the shelf that fallen down, and bottle the bottle's that lay all over the place. "Oh."

"Ross!" yelled Rachel, "J-Joey, it's Rossy."

Joey's eyes squinted open, evidently he had not been in a very deep sleep. "Ross," he slurred. "Ross is here!"

Ross stared at them both for a minute, lost for words, "Rach, are you - are you drunk?"

Rachel shook her head violently, "No!" she said as she stood up, only to loose balance and fall back down again. "Well, maybe a lil' bit."

Ross shook his head, "I, I don't believe this? Joey can you-?" but he stopped, seeing Joey lean forward, looking at something behind Ross, his eyes unfocused, "Joey, are you drunk too?"

Joey didn't answer, but stared at the thing behind Ross, with an odd smile on his face and said in his flirty manner, "How you doin'?" Ross turned and saw Joey was looking at a photo behind him of him and Rachel. He shook his head and sighed.

Opening Credits

"Okay, okay Rach, come here," Ross said, pulling Rachel up from the floor and holding her steady. "I think, Rachel, I think, uh, you – you need to go to bed now, okay?"

"Oh, b-but Ross, I think we need a new apartment, because this – this one is w-wobbling," Rachel muttered, as she was lead into their bedroom.

"Okay, okay Rach come on," Ross guided Rachel into their bed, and tucked her in. "You're tired, okay? You uh, you just need to sleep now."

"Oh Ross, oh Ross," murmured Rachel sleepily. "I love you, but you know I'm not tired, and I'm, uh not d-drink either."

"Drunk," Ross corrected her.

"Huh?"

"Doesn't matter, look you- you just need to sleep, okay? I'll, I'm gonna be in the next room," Ross said.

"No, no wait." Rachel muttered, giving Ross a wry smile. "I gotta tell ya something, I – I love you."

Ross smiled back, "I love you too."

"Yeah, and I, I don't, ah, I don't want anything to change, I'm having fun with you and Emma, and you."

"You already said me," muttered Ross.

"Huh?"

"Doesn't matter," Ross shook his head.

"I, I'm having fun, and I don't want that to change… I want it to stay like this forever," Rachel muttered.

Ross' hand brushed the pocket that his ring was in, and he stared at Rachel for a moment, "You want nothing to change?"

Rachel shook her head and drifted off into sleep, leaving Ross' with something to think about.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monica and Chandler were both laid in bed reading; it was quiet and both their bedside lamps were on. Monica looked up from her book to stare at her husband for a moment. "You know what I've been thinking about?" she asked.

"Cleaning?" muttered chandler, not looking up from his book.

Monica smiled at Chandler, "What would make you think I'm thinking about cleaning?"

Chandler looked up at Monica from his book, "Oh, I just though you must think about cleaning a lot."

Monica shook her head, "Well no, actually I was thinking that lately, you and me, we don't get any alone time, you know, just us."

"Well, we're alone right now," said Chandler, he looked around the room, "Aren't we?"

"Yes, but I mean sexy alone time, you know, a romantic night. We've not really had that since the twins were born."

Chandler smiled at Monica and, putting down his book, he put his hands through her hair, "Well, we're alone right now… in a bed."

"How about a weekend?"

Chandler frowned, confused, "Huh?"

"How about a weekend away; just me and you in a romantic inn," Monica said.

"Okay, that sounds good, but aren't you forgetting a little something… called our twins?" Chandler said.

Monica nodded in thought, "Phoebe's pregnant…"

"Yes honey, but I was actually talking about what we're to do with our babies," Chandler said.

"No, I mean Phoebe and Mike could look after them, she's been saying for a while she'd like to look after them anyway," Monica told Chandler knowingly.

Chandler snorted, "Good luck to her." Monica gave him a look, and he quickly went on, "I mean, good – good job, she'll make – she'll make a great parent." Monica just shook her head, smiling to herself.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In Ross and Rachel's apartment, Ross stood by the door just inside his bedroom, watching Rachel sleep. Rachel let out a quiet groan from the bed and looked up at Ross standing by the door. She groaned again.

"Morning," greeted Ross. Rachel simply groaned again, her head pounding. Ross nodded and walked towards her, "Yeah…"

"God," Rachel muttered, sitting up. "I uh, I got pretty dunk last night, huh?

"A little," nodded Ross.

Rachel groans yet again, "Oh, I don't remember anything, I didn't do anything stupid did I? Oh my God, did I sleep with Joey?"

"No, no I, I don't think so," Ross muttered.

"God, my head hurts so much. Hey, I'm sorry… coming back to a couple drunken idiots probably wasn't what you wanted," Rachel said, sighing.

"Relax, hey, it's fine. I mean, it's – it's not like I had anything planned, so…" Ross trailed off, thinking about what he did have planned.

"Okay, well, um I'm gonna lay down now before my head explodes."

Ross nodded and left Rachel to sleep. He went into the living area, where Joey was sat rubbing his head on the couch. "Hey," Joey said, seeing Ross.

"Hi," Ross muttered, nodding, he sat next to Joey and sighed.

Joey stared uncomfortably down at his feet for a moment and then looked up at Ross. Joey cleared his throat, "Listen Ross, I'm sorry about me and Rachel being drunk last night… that couldn't have been, uh, easy to deal with."

Ross shrugged, "Yeah, well…"

"You're mad at me, aren't ya?" muttered Joey.

"No, no it's not you," Ross said. "It's just, I was – I was kinda gonna propose to Rachel last night."

"Seriously?" Joey exclaimed. "Well, why didn't you? You could of done it!"

"When she was drunk? Yeah, I think I'd have liked my fiancé to know she's engaged the next day, thanks."

Joey just shrugged, "You didn't tell her you were married after you were supposed to get it annulled the first time you married her."

"Hey, that was different, it was way more complicated than you think!" Ross insisted, "Look, it – it doesn't even matter anymore; last night, she said she, uh, she doesn't even wanna get married."

"Really?" Joey asked, frowning.

"Well no…" Ross admitted. "But, but she did say she wanted everything to stay the same, and if, uh if, that's what she wants… Besides I don't know what I was thinking, asking her to marry me. I mean do I really wanna be that guy, the guy who gets married four times?"

"Did you really wanna be the guy who gets married three times… and divorced?" Joey asked with a wry smile. Ross just gave him a look.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Around three hours later Monica, Chandler and Phoebe sat on the orange couch in Central Perk drinking their coffee. The twins lay in their pram next to Monica, sleeping quietly as Monica told Phoebe how to take care of her babies, "Okay, and you can't put them to sleep without their blankets – Phoebe, Phoebe this is important – they need to have it when they go for a nap, or they won't sleep, Okay?"

Phoebe's head fell back against the couch back and she gave a deep sigh, "Mon, I know how to look after a couple of babies, I have given birth to three you know."

"Yes, but giving birth isn't taking care of them. Now maybe I should go over it all again, I mean do you remember what happens when they wake, can you remember exactly what to do?"

Phoebe stared, "Uh… yeah feed and burp."

"No Phoebe! You feed, you burp, and then you let them sleep," Monica exclaimed. "Now I have to go over it again."

Phoebe was saved right then by the entrance of Ross, and Rachel pushing a sleeping Emma in her buggy. "Hey guys," said Ross and Rachel.

"Hey!" said Chandler, turning around excited. So?"

Rachel frowned, "So…?"

But Monica had just noticed Rachel, "Hey! Chandler told me, congratulations!"

Rachel frowned yet again, "For what?"

Now Monica and Chandler were confused, they then noticed Ross who was stood slightly behind Rachel and shaking his hands about wildly whilst mouthing, "No."

Monica looked sheepish, "Um, congratulations for… uh, those pants you, uh, bought last week…"

Rachel looked oddly at Monica for moment, "Oh…kay." She turned to Ross, "I'm just going to the bathroom."

Rachel left and Ross sighed and sat down. Immediately Chandler flared him with a question, "What the hell happened? I thought you were gonna propose…"

"I was," Ross stated. "But I couldn't because when I got back Rachel and Joey were drunk."

"Wait a minute," Phoebe put in. "You were gonna propose?"

Ross nodded glumly, "I was."

Phoebe stared, "But… why? I mean haven't you guys been going out for only like three months?"

"Yeah," Monica said. "But they've known each other like forever, that must be why he proposed…" she turned to her brother, "Right Ross?"

"Um, well…" he glanced at Chandler who gave him a look that said it all; 'If you don't tell them, I will.' Ross sighed, "Well that, that wasn't the whole reason. Me and Rachel, we kinda had a fight and… well I though proposing might – "

"Wait a minute," interrupted Phoebe. "You were gonna propose because you and Rachel had a disagreement?"

"Yes."

"But instead you found Rachel drunk?"

"Yes"

"So… she got drunk to forget about that stupid fight, and you were gonna propose to forget about it?" asked Phoebe, full of confusion.

Ross stared at her for a moment, he'd never thought of it like that, "Well, no I – I mean it, uh, I – It isn't like that!"

Chandler gave a small smile, "Well, clearly Ross sees proposing as some kind of relaxing treatment, you know to forget his problems."

Ross shook his head, "Look, you guys it doesn't matter anyway, she said last night she uh, she doesn't want anything to change so, so I've got to respect that."

Just then, they were interrupted by the arrival of Joey, and Rachel coming from the bathroom. "Hey guys," Joey greeted them.

At the same time Monica and Chandler got up. "Right," said Monica. "We'd better get going. We're not gonna get much lovin' time here talking to you guys are we? See you on Sunday." Monica and Chandler said goodbye to the twins and, after being assured by Phoebe that she knew what to do in an emergency, they left for their romantic inn.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On arrival, Monica and Chandler entered their room full of excitement. It didn't last long…

Chandler lay down on the bed and patted the place next to him, "Wanna get the romance going?"

Monica raised her eyebrows, "When we just got here… and have dinner in, like, ten minutes?"

Chandler nodded, "uh huh."

Monica smiled and was about climb next chandler when a sound from outside stopped her; the unmistakable laughter of chandler's ex, Janice.

Monica and chandler simply paused where they were for a few seconds, quite terrified to admit what they'd just heard. Monica finally broke the silence, "W- wha-? Was -?

Chandler nodded, "I know."

"Was that Janice?"

Her answer came from outside the door as Janice let out a loud cry of "Oh My God!"

Chandler lay in shock for a moment, he then turned to his wife and said softly, "She's out there… we're never leaving this room."

Commercial break

Monica and Chandler sat either side of one another on the bed; still greatly distraught about whose voice they've just heard.

"We can't stay in here," Monica muttered. "We have reservations at seven."

"Well we can't go out there, do you want to have this weekend filled with that voice!"

"Well, well maybe it, it wasn't Janice. Maybe it's just, like, some other annoying woman with the same voice and laugh."

"Are you… trying… to make my worst nightmare come alive?" Chandler asked, terrified by the thought of two women like Janice.

"Look, we can't stay in here," said Monica. She went over and peeked a look outside the door. "See, I don't see her."

"Really?" Chandler came off the bed and went over to peep too, "Oh, me neither. I guess we should get to dinner then."

They grabbed the key and left for dinner, they only got into the hall however when a loud scream of "Oh My God!" made them pause in their tracks. Chandler turned around to see Janice grinning at him with her husband Sid stood behind her. "Well, oh my God! What are the chances?" Janice shrieked.

Chandler muttered in his wife's ear, "Did she see us or can we still get away?"

Monica tried a smile as Janice came up to them both although she found it difficult. "Janice!" she said through gritted teeth. "What are -? What are you doing here?"

"Well, what do you think? Sid and me are having a weekend away together. Hey, if you guys are staying too, we can spend the whole weekend together! Oh, this will be so much fun!"

"Oh, I don't know about that… I mean you two probably want to be alone," Chandler said.

"Nonsense!" Janice insisted. "You guys have reservations?"

"Well yes, but -"

"Great, come one then, lets get going!" Janice exclaimed. She began dragging Monica and Chandler along the hall, towards the restaurant in the building.

Before Monica and Chandler knew it they were both sat at a table with Janice and her husband, listening to her shrill voice, wishing they were anywhere else.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ross was sat in his apartment, marking students essays when Joey walked in, fresh from an audition. "Hey, how'd the audition go?" he asked.

"It blew. I don't have an agent anymore, so I had to arrange myself, but I got all the times mixed up and somehow I ended up at some commercial for dog food, and apparently" Joey sighed and sat down next to Ross, "So, you still not proposing to Rachel?"

Ross looked up from his papers and shook his head, "No Joey, my mind's made up. She doesn't want to get married yet… it was stupid to think she'd want to, we've only been dating a few months."

"Yeah, but you've known each other, like, forever." Joey insisted. "And you don't even know for sure –"

"Joey, my mind's made up!" Ross said loudly. "Tomorrow I'm gonna go to the jewelers and give that bastard his ring back."

Joey shrugged, "Alright... If you're sure." Joey sat back and sighed, "Your so lucky, you know, to have each other."

"I know," Ross looked up at Joey and smiled, "Hey, don't worry, you'll get it too one day."

"What?" Joey frowned. "What're you mean I'll get it too one day?"

"Oh, nothing," Ross muttered. "I'm just saying, uh, that you, you'll get a, uh, a serious relationship one day that'll mean something."

"Hey! My relationships with women mean something!"

"They do?"

"Yeah, they, uh..." Joey racked his brains for a moment, "Ooh! They mean sex with a new woman each week!" Joey looked down at the floor and said quietly, "Man, I, I'm never gonna have what you have."

"Oh, come on that's not true.You'll get it," Ross said.

Joey nodded, but he couldn't shake the horrific feeling inside him that he would never get what all his friends now had...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monica and Chandler sat opposite Janice and Sid and tried hard not to listen as Janice rambled on about something or other. It was difficult though, because even though they weren't really listening they could still hear her.

Sid began to get up, "I'll get us more drinks, want anything sweetums?"

"Yes honey bunny!" Janice said, letting out an annoying laugh. "I'll have a scotch."

"You guys?" Sid asked Monica and Chandler smiling.

Monica and Chandler shook their heads so Sid left for the bar. Janice went on with what she was saying before, "So, basically, once me and Sid have stopped trying again, then I think we should all go on a cruise together; you guys, Sid and me. But you know me and Sid have to wait until I'm pregnant, because I can't have sex on boats... you know that Chandler." She let out a long laugh. Monica and Chandler gritted their teeth, smiled and nodded along politely. "Would you two excuse me for a moment," Janice said."Bathroom."

Chandler waited until he was sure Janice was out of ear shot until he turned to his wife, "We are leaving!"

Monica stared, "What?"

"We are leaving right now! We have to put ourselves as far away from that woman as humanly possible!"

"But we paid so much to be here," Monica argued.

"Do you want to go on a cruise and listen to her talking about her sex life some more?!"

"Okay, let's go," Monica nodded. They stood up and pretty much ran from the table, almost making it to the door until Sid bumped into them as he made his way back with the drinks.

"Where you guys going?" he asked.

"Um, uh," Chandler stuttered, and struggled to find an excuse."We have to uh, to... Monica?" he turned to his wife.

"Uh, an emergency!"

Sid frowned, "Sorry?"

"Yes!" Chandler nodded. "We have a big emergency at home... our dog... uh, ate our cat!"

"Your dog ate your cat?"

"Yes, uh huh, now we have to go now, bye bye. Our dog needs to go to the vet."

They ran out the door and headed for the street. Monica turned to Chandler, "Our dog ate our cat?"

"Hey, It could happen! Dogs are vicious!"

Ending credits

Monica and Chandler entered Phoebe's apartment to pick up the twins a few hours later, to find Mike with both babies on the sofa. "Hi babies," Monica cooed , going to take them off Mike. "Were they any trouble?"

"No, fine."

"Good,where's Phoebe?" Monica asked.

"Oh, she's taking a nap. They kinda wore her out."

"I thought you said they were no trouble."

"Oh no, they weren'tforme. But for Phoebe... well there was a lot of disagreement... and not just from the twins."

Just then Phoebe entered from the bedroom, "Hey, you're early."

"Yeah," Chandler muttered. "Well lets just say there was a cruise on offer that we would not be able to stick."

"Phoebe, Mike said you had trouble with the twins?" Monica asked.

"Yeah," Phoebe smiled. "Well lets just say you can keep your terror twins next time you wanna have sex in a hotel."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N Hope you liked the third episode of the 11th season of friends! There's still 20 more to go though. Please Review.

Thank You And Goodnight