The one with all the swimming

The One With All The Swimming

AN: Here it finally is. Sorry I haven't updated in ages, I got sidetracked with another friends fanfic, well several actually. It also seems to be a little shorter than others I've written.

Summary: The gang all decide to go swimming. Where Phoebe and Mike find themselves looking after all the kids. Chandler is surprised when Monica tells him a secret. Joey and Jill have trouble hiding their relationship.

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It was late morning but Joey's bedroom was quiet as if it were three in the morning. Joey turned over, but it wasn't until he sensed someone beside him he really began to wake up. The sight of Rachel's sister made his eyes pop open. What had he done? Horror filled his eyes, how was he going to get out of this?

Beside him, Jill gave a small groan and lifted her head, smiling at Joey who was sitting up next to her, "Hey you."

"Uh, morning Jill," Joey muttered. Wow, he thought, it felt so odd to actually know the name of the person you slept with. If only he knew it in different circumstances.

"So, last night was pretty amazing, huh?" Jill said in her flirtatious tone.

"Uh, yeah. Jill listen, about that, I was thinking maybe we don't tell Rachel?"

"Oh, don't worry Rachel is not going to find out about this," Jill assured Joey.

Joey nodded, "Good."

"Great, so when do you wanna do this again?"

"What? Again! No, no, no. Jill, you're uh, you're a nice person but ah, I can't get involved with a friend's sister," Joey said. "It, it just wouldn't be right."

"Oh come on Joey," cooed Jill, leaning closer to him. She gently caressed his cheek with her hands. "Rachel isn't in control of our lives, we can date if we want."

"I don't know…" Joey mumbled. "I -" Jill kissed on the lips but he pulled away. "Really-" she kissed him again, and again he pulled away, "cant-" and again, "do this." This time she kissed full on and passionately, bringing her hand through his hair. He didn't pull away.

"See," whispered Jill.

"Don't talk," Joey said softly, and he took her under the covers.

Starting credits

When Chandler entered the coffee house later with the twins in the pram he was pushing that day all of the friends, except Joey, were there and greeted him with a grin. "Hi honey," said Monica, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey hon. Hey, listen I had this great idea. How about, this weekend we take the twins swimming," Chandler said, enthusiastically.

"Swimming? Why would you want to take them swimming," Monica laughed nervously.

"Well, you know, to… learn to swim…"

"Chandler, they're five months old, I don't think they'll be doing the breast stroke yet."

"Well, I know that but there's this little club you can go to, to get your kids used to the water," Chandler informed Monica.

"Why would they need to get used to water? There's a bathtub right at home!" Monica said defensively.

"Oh, come on Mon, go swimming," Phoebe muttered, then an idea hit her, "Ooh, we should all go!"

"All go?" repeated Ross.

"Yeah, it'll be so much fun! I've always wanted to go swimming, I never went as a kid," Phoebe said.

"Phoebes, you never went swimming?" Ross asked, shocked.

"Well, my mom was too preoccupied killing herself to teach us to swim," Phoebe said.

Oh," said Monica. "So, you don't know how to swim?"

"Oh yeah, I do! I would teach myself in the bath," Phoebe assured them all. She demonstrated by thrashing her arms around in front of her, "You know I would copy those swimmers off the TV and practice in the bath. You know I actually think I became better than those on TV."

The others smiled, and right then Joey walked into Central Perk, "Hey Joey," the others greeted as he sat down.

"Hey," he muttered.

"So Joey, we're all going swimming this weekend, you coming too?" asked Phoebe.

"Uh," Joey shrugged, "Sure, why not."

"Wait a minute," said Monica. "I'm still not sure about the twins going, maybe they should stay and I'll stay home with them." The others all hailed out cries of protest so finally she gave into the peer pressure, "Fine."

"Maybe Jill could come too," Rachel said. "Hey, Joey do you know if she's at the apartment or is she out shopping?"

"I don't know; she's your sister!" Joey said defensively. "How should I know where she is?"

"Okay, okay," Rachel said, taken aback. "I was only wondering if you'd seen her."

"I'm not seeing her!"

"No Joey, if you'd seen her, not if you're seeing her," Ross said with a frown.

"Oh, uh, no I haven't," Joey lied.

"Oh well okay, I'll ask her later," Rachel said dismissively. "Joey… you okay?"

"I'm fine! God, what's with the third degree around here?" Joey insisted, he got up and went to ask for a coffee from Gunther.

"What's with him?" muttered Ross when he'd gone.

"Maybe he doesn't like Jill," Rachel muttered with a frown.

"What? Joey not like a sexy girl hanging around his place? Impossible," Chandler said.

"Sexy girl!?" cried Monica.

"That's my sister!" Rachel yelled.

"His place!?" Ross said angrily.

Chandler stared around at the angry people in shock, "Oh dear God… Uh, Joey, what was that? You want a coffee joke? I'll be right there." Chandler disappeared to the counter before the others could cry out a protest.

…………………………………..

"You didn't have to offer to take care of all three of them," Mike muttered holding an exited Emma in the shallow part of the little pool. Phoebe had kindly offered to Ross, Rachel, Chandler and Monica that her and Mike would look after their kids there at the swimming baths.

"We have to learn Mike, anyway they didn't have to hand them over to us," Phoebe said hold Jack as Erica floated close by in a special baby rubber ring.

"Yeah," said Mike. "Well, I don't think you gave them much of a choice when you started yelling and demanding that we look after them."

"Mike, Mike, Mike," sighed Phoebe. "You don't understand my friends at all, they like me to look after their children. Anyway, do you have any idea how unprepared we are? Do realise that in seven and a half months time we will have another human being to take care of? Do you know how hard it'll be? Do you Mike!? Do you!?"

"Okay, Phoebes I know it'll be hard, but… it wont be that hard."

"Oh yeah! How many babies have you pushed out a vagina, fed, bathed and looked after day and night?" Phoebe demanded.

"Well, not many I guess," Mike said.

"Mike, do you know how hard this is gonna be? I know, I've seen how my brother has to cope with the triplets," Phoebe said, stroking Jack's head with her wet hands as he let out a small smile.

"I know it'll be hard, but we're not having triplets. I think we'll be fine, we're managing this okay."

Phoebe nodded, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Plus, you know, it'll also be fun, having a little mini version of us. Ooh, we could teach it tap dancing! That'd be so cute!"

Mike simply smiled.

…………………………………………….

Joey and Jill were making out in the women's bathroom. Jill was pushing her body up against Joey's, pushing him into the wall, but somehow Joey found the breath to say, "We really shouldn't be doing this."

"Oh, come on," Jill muttered. "I thought you said you'd made out in the girls room before."

"No," said Joey, pulling away from her kisses and standing back. "I mean you're… you're my friend's sister. It's wrong."

Jill nodded. "That's right," she said. "It's wrong. It's… naughty. Right tiger." She went to kiss him again.

Quickly he pulled away again, "No! I mean I shouldn't have done this – I should be doing this – Rachel'd kill me."

"Hey, you can stop any time you want," Jill said. "But you know you just don't wanna."

"If Rachel ever found out she'd kill me," Joey repeated.

"I know," grinned Jill. "Exciting, huh?"

Joey said nothing, but stared at Jill in incredibility instead.

……………………………………

"I can't believe Phoebe took the twins off us!" Chandler said, annoyed, as he and Monica walked along with the big pool beside them. "Oh well, you wanna get in then?" he asked, dropping to a sitting position with his legs dangled in the water.

"Oh, you know what. I think that, uh, pool over there looks way more fun. Let's go in that pool!" Monica said, pointing.

"Uh, honey, that's a Jacuzzi," said Chandler.

"Exactly, you know I think I need time to relax. Come on," Monica said, walking towards the Jacuzzi a bit further along.

"Um, Mon, are you okay?" asked Chandler.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" Monica said, a bit too enthusiastically.

"Mon…"

"Okay! Okay! Fine!" Monica said in aggravation. "I can't swim, okay? I can't swim!"

"You… you can't swim?" said Chandler, amazed. "Is that it? Oh, Monica that's okay. I mean lots of people cant swim."

"So?" said Monica sighing. "I'm not supposed to be people!"

Chandler frowned, "Well no, of course not. You're not people, you're… well you're not a fish either."

"Chandler!"

"Come on, I'm kidding. I don't think it matters that you can't swim. But you know if it bothers you, I could teach you to swim."

Monica stared at him, "You?"

"Hey, I'm not a bad swimmer!" Chandler cried.

Monica raised her eyebrows, "Are you a good swimmer."

Chandler shrugged, "Fine, have fun out on the side lines being one of the people , I'm gonna go for a little swim."

"Chandler, wait. Okay fine," Monica muttered reluctantly. "Teach me then."

"Alright then, why don't you get in the water… God it feels weird telling you what to do for once."

Monica ignored that last comment and gently lifted her self into the water. "Okay," she said. "Now what?"

"Now… can you swim at all?" Chandler asked, lowering himself into the water too.

"Oh, sure…" Monica said. She let go of the side and began doing a weird kind of thrashing at the water.

"Has, uh, the water done something bad to you?" asked Chandler with a frown.

Monica grabbed the side again and gave him a look.

………………………………….

"I'm just going to the bathroom," Phoebe told Mike, handing Jack and Erica to him.

"What, you're just going to leave these children with me?"

"Yep," Phoebe said. She grinned at Mike, got up out the little pool, and went into the girl's bathroom where a surprise greeted her…

Joey saw Phoebe straight away and shoved Jill from his lips and into the nearest cubicle, she fell to floor and screamed. He hadn't been quick enough though and Phoebe had seen everything, "Joey!" she cried. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I, uh…" Joey couldn't find the words, but right then Jill popped her head from behind the cubicle door.

"Joey… why the hell…" began Jill, but then she saw Phoebe. "Oh hi there."

"Don't you 'hi there' me little miss," spat Phoebe. "Joey, what are doing? This is Rachel's little sister!"

"I know. I know, it's bad, but-"

"Bad?" interrupted Phoebe, very much overreacting. "This is worse than bad! This is very bad! Very bad with a capital v!"

" Now Phoebes lets not overreact… I mean it's not that bad." Joey said.

"Yeah," said Jill. "I mean it's only sex..."

"Jill!" Joey exclaimed.

"You had sex!?" Phoebe demanded.

"Now, see what you did Jill!" Joey yelled.

………………………….

Ross and Rachel, meanwhile, were both sat in the Jacuzzi with their heads laid back in relaxation. Something was bothering Ross, he still was unsure of what Rachel had meant the other day about wanting more kids. He was just about to ask her about it when he noticed Mike was insight, carrying both twins with Emma toddling along beside him. "Hey," he said.

"Hi," Rachel greeted. "Hey Emma, come to mommy." Emma toddled over and jumped into her mother's arms, smiling as the warmness of the water hit her.

"You okay there?" Ross asked, seeing Mike carrying both twins.

"Oh, yeah, don't worry I got them." Mike assured him. "Hey, you guys haven't seen Phoebe, have you? She went to the bathroom, like, a half hour ago."

"No, why, think she's doing s bit of rough play, do you?" joked Rachel.

Mike stared for a moment "I do now." Then he shook his head, "No, no, she's not gonna do that… if you see her tell her I'm looking for her anyway."

"Sure," they promised.

…………………………

Phoebe and Joey sat on the waters edge, after lots of yelling Phoebe had finally calmed down and relaxed. Jill was swimming in the pool their feet were swashing around in. And Joey, subconsciously, was staring at her. After several minutes of looking at Joey staring at Jill, Phoebe had to say something, "You like her?"

Joey looked up at her, "What?"

"Come on Joey, I may be blonde but I'm not stupid, you haven't stopped staring at her since we got out the bathroom."

Joey shrugged, "I don't know. I do, but… she's Rachel sister… you wont tell, will you?"

"Tell Jill, that you like her more than just the sex? No."

"Uh, actually I meant, you, you wont tell Rach?" Joey said, biting his lip.

"Please Phoebes, I'll do anything," Joey begged. He put on sweet tone and stuck out his bottom lip, "I love you…"

"Alright! Fine! But I hope you realise what you're getting yourself into!" Phoebe said loudly. "You know nothing good can come of this!"

"Alright, alright, don't worry," Joey assured Phoebe with a grin.

"You know Rachel's gonna kill you when she finds out."

"No she won't," Joey said disbelievingly.

"Heh, you think?"

"Do you think?" Joey's went wide.

"I know , Joey." Phoebe nodded.

"Oh my God! She's gonna kill me!" Joey yelped. "She's gonna hate me, isn't she? She's gonna hate me for the rest of my life… however long she'll let that be."

Phoebe looked down sadly, "I think you gotta do the right thing right about here."

"Which is?"

"Either tell Rachel or… break up with Jill," Phoebe said sadly.

Joey stared at Phoebe as realisation took hold and he couldn't help but nod, "You're right, but if I – if Rachel finds out… do you think she'll hate me?"

Phoebe said nothing, which was all Joey needed to hear to know the answer to his question… and know exactly what he was going to do.

Ending Credits

Monica made her way back to the side of the pool, in total annoyance at how she was not getting any better at how to swim at all.

"Come on," complained Chandler. "You almost had it then."

Monica looked at Chandler disbelievingly, "Really?"

"Well… maybe after more practice," Chandler shrugged.

Monica made a grab for him with an angry but playful look on her face, but Chandler laughed and simply swam out into the pool where Monica couldn't get him.

………………………………………………….

A/N: Here you go. Not as good as previous ones in my own opinion (laughter wise anyway), but what do you think? Personally I think I've been reading too much drama fanfic and not watching enough friends lately, but that's just me. Please read and Review, it's what keeps me going.