The One With A Thanksgiving Without The Turkey
AN: Once again, I thank you for your reviews. If you haven't guessed this episode will be the thanksgiving one, which – if you were watching a real 11th season – I think would appear about now. By the way I'm not much familiar with American culture as I'm English and only know of thanksgiving ways from watching friends episodes. So if I get something wrong please tell me, the only thing I'm sure of is that it's on the third Thursday of November and you eat turkey. Anyone care to give me any history?
………
"So, who's here for thanksgiving on Thursday?" Chandler asked his wife as he read newspaper one morning at the kitchen table. When his wife didn't reply he looked up at her, "Mon?" still she didn't move, just continued to stare at her toast. "Mon!"
Her head raised, startled at the sound of his loud voice, "What?"
"Who's here for thanksgiving on Thursday?" Chandler repeated.
"Oh, um… the usual; Ross and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike, Joey, Jill…" said Monica, snapping out of her trance and busying herself by clearing the table. "Oh, by the way could you pick up the turkey and thanksgiving stuff tomorrow?"
"Sure," Chandler replied. "Say, are you okay? You seem -" he was interrupted then however by the arrival of Joey, who entered without knocking.
"Hey," he greeted, sitting down at their table.
Chandler frowned at him, "So, did you forget where the doorbell is or…?"
"What? I used to come in without knocking all the time at your old place," Joey shrugged.
Monica smiled, "I'm just gonna go check on the twins." She disappeared into the living room, leaving Chandler and Joey alone.
Chandler smiled at Joey, "You told Jill you know about her being pregnant?"
Joey felt himself tense; he'd just forced himself to temporarily forget about that, "No."
"God, fancy her pregnant. You know who the farther might be? I mean, have you seen her bring home any men who you think it might be?" Chandler asked.
"No! Man, what's with the third degree?" Joey said, clearly annoyed.
"Okay, okay. Geez, is it the time of month for everyone today? God," Chandler muttered on his way to the fridge.
Starting CreditsJill came out of her bedroom early the following morning and frowned at the lack of Joey in the living area. Only Rachel was there, feeding Emma. "Morning Rach."
"Hey, morning Jill," Rachel greeted. "Hey, you're coming to thanksgiving at Mon's tomorrow, right?"
"Yep, you bet," Jill nodded. "Uh, so do you know where Joey is?"
Rachel shook her head, frowning slightly, "No, he left before I got up. Why?"
"Oh, uh, he said he would, um… make me breakfast."
"Joey offered to make you breakfast?" Rachel laughed. "Wow, and coming from the man who wouldn't offer me one of his seven pancakes he baked one morning."
Jill shrugged nervously, "People change Rach."
"Oh, well I haven't seen him this morning Jill."
"Oh, right okay," she sighed, more annoyed than anything, and headed back to her room, just as Ross entered from his and Rachel's.
"Morning honey," Rachel said, lifting Emma up from her highchair and holding her close. "Say morning to daddy Emma."
"Dada dada…" Emma cooed.
Ross simply smiled and gave a short nod, heading for the front door. "Where are you going?" Rachel asked.
"Work," Ross said, and he was out of the door. Rachel sighed; he's been like that ever since she told him she didn't want to get married, distant, quiet. It was reaching the point where she wasn't sure what to do anymore.
……………………
Thursday came around and as Joey sat in the living area whilst the food preparations went on the kitchen, he couldn't help but to glance at Jill much more than necessary. He had been avoiding her since he found out she was pregnant, but now he was sat right next to her, where she was secretly caressing her hand against his ass. Joey got up suddenly; he needed to talk to someone… his last hope.
He made his way into the kitchen, leaving a disappointed Jill sitting next to Rachel. He found Phoebe making the cranberry sauce. "Hey Phoebes, there you are, listen I -"
"There you are. Have you decided?" Phoebe said, giving a huge sigh.
Joey's face was fogged with confusion, "Huh?"
"Joey! Don't tell me you've forgot! Do not tell me you have forgotten!"
Joey tried forcing a laugh, "No! Of course I haven't forgot." He looked at Phoebe's relieved face and gave her a hopeful smile, "Forgot what?"
Phoebe sighed, exasperated, "Don't you remember? You were supposed to have decided what to do about the whole, " she lowered her voice, "Jill situation by today."
Joey put his head in his hands when he realised that was true, "Damn it!"
Phoebe shook her head, "You don't know what you're going to do, do you?"
Joey looked up, "No, no I don't… and I kinda gotta tell you something too."
Phoebe sighed, "Shoot."
"Did you take a pregnancy test, say, sometime last Friday?"
"That isn't telling me something Joey, that's asking me something."
"Did you or didn't you?"
"No. I already know I'm pregnant."
Joey felt his head drop down towards the floor, his last chance – gone.
Phoebe stared at Joey, "Is someone else pregnant?" Joey didn't look up. "Okay Joey, it's one of two possibilities here. Either you're pregnant or Jill's pregnant, and I'm guessing you getting pregnant is a little difficult, you know until them DNA geeks understand it'd be better to share the birth burden."
Joey nodded, "Jill's pregnant. Chandler found the test in the trash."
"Oh my God! Joey, what were you doing? I thought you kept dozens of condoms!" Phoebe hissed at him, making sure Monica couldn't here from the over by the oven.
"I do! We were very careful, I swear."
Phoebe shook her head, "God, I can't even imagine what Rachel's gonna say…"
Joey looked at Phoebe, "What? No, no, no, no… I can't tell her now, she'll kill me!"
"She was gonna kill you anyway Joey," Phoebe assured him.
"No, but now she's gonna be double mad, I knocked up her sister, she's gonna kill me twice!"
Phoebe gave a grave nod, "That is true, but kill you twice or not, you still have to tell her, you got her sister pregnant, she deserves to know. You never know, she might be fine with it."
Joey looked up hopefully, "Really, you think she might?"
Phoebe bit her lip, "Hmm, honestly no."
…………………………………………..
Rachel had decided it was time to talk to Ross, he had been pretty much avoiding her all day, she needed to know what was going on; she followed him up when he went to the bathroom and was waiting right outside when he came out. "Ah ha!" she screamed as soon as he entered the hall.
Ross gave a small shriek and then placed his hand on his chest and gasped, "You know that's traditional for Halloween – which by the way was weeks ago."
"Ross, you have been avoiding me all day, and I think we need to talk."
"Wh – what? I, uh, I haven't been avoiding you."
"This morning you said you had to leave to go to the doctors… because you had the hiccups," Rachel said.
Ross stared at her for a second, "They were irritating."
"Ross!"
"Okay, okay, Rachel I'm sorry. I just – I guess I'm still a bit off because you, well you don't wanna marry me do you?" Ross said sadly.
"Oh, Ross…. I'm sorry, I am but, you know -"
"I know, I know," said Ross quickly. "You're scared it wont work out."
Rachel nodded, "Yeah." She tried to smile, "Is this going to be a problem because I just I don't if -"
"No, no… it isn't it – I mean I'll be fine. We'll be fine."
Rachel nodded, "We will, we will." They tried to convince each other.
……………………………………….
"Hey Joey," Chandler said to Joey as the sat in the living room. "You found anything else about Jill's baby? I mean, have you told her you know about it?"
Joey sighed, "No chandler! Would you quit it already!"
"Okay man relax," Chandler muttered. "I was only asking. I thought you might wanna tell her so she has support."
"She has support!" Joey yelled. "Or she will anyway."
Chandler frowned, "Is something…"
"What?"
Chandler eyes widened, "Oh my God! You – you're – you-"
"Shhhh," Joey begged, as his eyes found Rachel and Jill talking by the door. "Be quiet man!"
"Sorry," Chandler muttered. "But I don't believe this, you knocked up Rachel's little sister? Oh my God – she is gonna kill you!"
"Don't you think I know that!" Joey yelled. "Now please Chandler, don't tell her. I will, but not just yet."
"Chandler nodded, "Okay, but man oh man… good luck!"
…………………………………………
"Mon?" Chandler muttered, going through to the kitchen as Monica chopped the carrots. "The guys wanna know when the food will be ready?"
Monica looked up, oddly spaced out, "Oh, uh, the turkey should be done now. Hey, can you do me a favour and get it out the oven?"
"Touch the disgusting feeder of this awful holiday? Yeah, why not," Chandler shrugged and went over to open the oven. "Um, Mon, any chance that was an invisible turkey you were referring to there?"
"What?" Monica frowned.
"There's no turkey in here."
"What? Yes there is!"
"Well, if there is, then I must have that disease where poultry becomes see through…" Chandler said.
Monica went over, and saw that Chandler was right, the oven was empty, "Oh no! I forgot to put the turkey in."
"You forgot to put the turkey in the oven… on thanksgiving!" Chandler said disbelievingly.
Monica sighed, "Hold on." She went to get it from the other side of the kitchen but came back empty handed, and with an angry look on her face. "Where's the turkey Chandler!?"
Chandler looked confused for a moment… then the fog cleared, "Ah…"
Just then Ross, Rachel, Joey, Jill, Phoebe and Mike walked in. "S'up?" said Ross. "We, uh, heard raised voices."
"Monica forgot to put the turkey in the oven!" Chandler yelled.
"Chandler forgot to pick up the turkey from the store!" Monica yelled.
"What, there's no turkey!?" Joey demanded.
Monica sighed, "I can't believe you forgot the turkey! I mean you bring all the vegetables anyone could want – parsnips, leeks, some brown I don't even know the name of! And yet you didn't get the turkey!"
"Well, well I'll go out now and get some," Chandler assured them all.
"But if we cook it now, we won't have thanksgiving until like, you know, late," said Jill.
"Well great," said Monica. "We'll have a delicious vegetable and potato thanksgiving! We can all be vegetarians for a day!"
"Oh yay!" said Phoebe excitedly.
"Um, actually, now you mention it, I think it'll just be vegetable's. we might of lost the potatoes somewhere…" Chandler muttered, meaning that he'd forgotten those too.
……………………………………………………..
Forty-five minutes later, and indeed all eight of them were settled around the table for their vegetable based thanksgiving. They all ate mostly in silence, all thinking of their own problems. It was really only Mike who seemed to be willing to make polite conversation, although he wasn't much enjoying the atmosphere. "So… how are the twins?" he asked Monica. Monica gave a small shrug. Mike nodded, "Great." He turned to Ross and Rachel, "So Ross, I heard you proposed again?" Ross gave him a scalding look and Phoebe kicked him in the shin for being thoughtless. Mike sighed and gave up.
"Joey," Chandler whispered to Joey sitting next to him. "When you gonna tell Rachel?"
Joey leaned closer to Chandler so the others wouldn't hear, "Well, I was thinking of maybe sending an e-mail sometime next month."
"Joey!" Chandler hissed.
"Alright, look I don't know, okay?" Joey hissed back.
"What are you girls whispering about over there?" demanded Monica, who was still cheesed off about Chandler forgetting the turkey.
"Nothing," Joey muttered.
"No, what is it?" asked Ross.
"I heard Rachel's name," said Mike, glad for the conversation.
"What? My name? Why – why were you talking about me?" Rachel asked.
"No! No we weren't," Joey said quickly and much too loudly. "We weren't. We weren't!"
Ross frowned, "Seriously guys what is it?"
Joey gave a pleading look to Phoebe, who simply shrugged helpless. Joey looked at Chandler who also shrugged. Then Joey looked at Jill whose eyes went wide when she realised what Joey wanted to do. "Um, well…"
"Joey!" yelled Jill. "You were just talking about your… um audition, right?" Joey looked at her. "Right!?"
"Okay seriously guys, what is going on?" asked Rachel. "Chandler, do you know?"
Chandler opened his mouth for a second but before he could speak Monica said quickly, but under her breath, "Unless he's forgotten."
"I – I don't know…" muttered Chandler.
"Joey?" Rachel questioned.
Joey looked away from her, then he sighed, "Fine, okay, here it is…"
"Oh good, here it comes, the fight scene…" Phoebe whispered.
Mike frowned, "Fight scene?"
"Yeah, you'll see," Phoebe said.
"Okay," Joey stood up. "Rach, me and Jill kinda – uh – well, we uh, um," he cleared his throat. "We are, um…"
Phoebe sighed, "They had sex and now she's pregnant!"
Joey's eyes widened as Rachel's mouth widened in amazement…
Ending CreditsAN: Sorry there are no closing credits… they're all together and, well, you know…