"OME!!" says Valerie. " You guys are finally here, I've been waiting for like eternity."
"Val, why didn't you tell me you were a vampire? When can you bite me?!" asks Ariana.
"Since when am I a vampire? What would make you think that? I mean I would LOVE to be a vampire but sadly, I am not." answers Val.
"Well, you said you've been waiting for eternity and only a vampire can live for ever. You no what, never mind." Ariana states.
So me, Val, Katie, and Ariana walk into Barnes and Noble. We all dressed in black because we are secret agents from the VIA, Vampire Intelligence Agency. Why you may be asking yourselves are VIA agents sneaking around Barnes and Noble. Well… because they have a video camera. And the people who work there are all like you can't have a video camera. To that we've asked, why can't we have a video camera. And they are all like cause it's the rules, but the real reason is because "The Man' doesn't want us to have a video camera. We learned this last time we were here, right before we got kicked out.
So… we all pretend like we had guns and all covered each others backs. We even rolled on the ground to escape the view of the video cameras that the store has ("The Man" lets the people who work there have cameras, CAMERAIST!!). After a few minutes we make it to the YA Fiction section. We walk to the authors/ authoresses who's last names start with a M. And we find Meyer comma Stephenie. In all their glory stands Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. In regular and special edition!
Katie whips out the camera! And sets it on one of the comfy reading chairs that are there to be sat in. But as we've learned from experience your not allowed to a.) have a sleep over in the store and use the chairs as beds and b.) sit in them and read all day if you have no intention of buying something. But I digress.
We turn the camera on , and point it at the books. And start to tell our viewers about what you can do with these magical books.
"Hi! There are many uses for the amazingly spectacular books that Stephenie Meyer, that's Stephenie with an e! has typed, cause no one hand writes things anymore. Not since Johannes Gutenburg, cause he invented the printing press." Says Katie.
" Yup, Yup. You can make a fort. Now this fort can protect you from most people ages 5- 17 cause they don't like to read. To keep the same age group away you can throw the books at them. When you do this they will either run for their mommies, not realize the book is coming and let is bonk them on their heads, or step out of the way and throw the book back at you." I say.
"Also with the books you could practice your posture, by placing it on the top of your head, and walking around. You could also make and UGLY dress B-E-A-UTIFUL by gluing the books on. But be careful, cause your dress might be a little heavy, and if you do this you CAN'T rip any pages out cause that would be unholy." Says Val.
"Which brings us to our next point. You can use these books to help teach and preach the religion of Cullenism. Where Twilight is the book of creation, and New Moon, Eclipse are the old testament. But we don't know if Breaking Dawn will start the new testament or just continue the Old testament. Cause it all depends it Edward BITES Bella!! Come on man, you know you want to, just do it all ready!!" says Ariana.
" Or the simplest, most world renown, most widely used practice of these books is TO READ IT!!" We all say in unison.
After this we do a little dance, make a little love (to the books), get down tonight. Cause this series is amazing. The best books written. After we show these books our love we had to give a little appreciation to the other Stephenie Meyer book The Host, and then we say a little hello to Harry Potter.
Then we go to the little café in the book store to gain some energy. I get some cereal, even though it's no irritable grizzly. Ariana gets Diet Pepsi because it's what Spunk Ransom aka Robert Pattinson aka the guy that plays Edward in the movie, drinks, but she also says she drinks it because it is good. Valerie gets vegetarian lasagna, cause she's vegetarian, like the Cullens, and because Bella makes lasagna. But we don't know why a café sells lasagna. And Katie gets fish because Charlie likes fish.
We all eat in silence until Katie screams out, "You know the guy from brother bear, the guy that turns into the bear, Kenai, he's like the cartoon version of Jacob Black."
"OMFC!" I say, "Your right he is, but why are we talking about Jacob, he's yucky! I don't know how Bella can still care fro him. He isn't even man enough to go to Bella's wedding. He's such a baby!"
After we all finish eating. We head back towards the Twilight book. And in one of the Comfy reading chairs we find Andrew reading Twilight. We all share a delighted scream, and Valerie screams, " I didn't know you read Twilight! What do you think of it, cause I've never met a Twilight guy."
"It's good." Andrew says. "I can see why you guys love Edward so much. But I gotta go. I need to get a book for AP. Bye!"
So after Andrew leaves we act out some of the scenes from Twilight. Then when we get to the part where Edward saves Bella's life. The time when the car almost runs her over. One of the Barnes and Noblers are like, " Dudes you can't have a camera in here."
And Ariana's response to that is, " We're not dudes, we're dudettes. And we are on a sekrit mission from the VIA. I can't tell you what the VIA is cause then if I did, I'd have to suck all o your blood."
After that comment we run to the ladies potty room, cause he can't come in here. The we catch our breath, and climb out the window, but we lock the door and keep the sink running, cause we need revenge for last time.
When we make it to the parking lot, a thought looked like it was coming closer, and closer, until it hit me. "Val" I said, "would you be interested in coming to Forks with us."
"I don't know," says Val, " I don't like to fly, cause I don't have wings, so I usually fall."
"We're not flying. We're gonna take a car, and go on a road trip, and Drive real FAST!" says Ariana.
"Alright, I'll come. It's better than what I was planning to do this summer, which was nothing!" Val replies.
Then we all put our hands in the middle and scream, "YAY Forks!! Here we come!" and this time we had no reason to fear for our lives.