A/N: Yeah, finally, another chapter. And this one is back in Marco's POV.

"Dylan!" I hissed. He and Alex continued down the hallway, oblivious to my strangled whispers. "Dylan!"

"Yeah, he's all r― what was that?"

Finally. Dylan glanced around for whoever had called his name.

"What was what?" Alex questioned.

"Someone said 'Dylan'…"

"Me!" I opened the door of the bathroom I was taking refuge in a little wider, and poked my head out.

"Marco?"

"Dylan, we've got a problem…" I said. "Can you come here?"

"I'll be leaving now," said Alex, heading for the stairs.

As soon as Dylan was close enough to reach, I opened the door the rest of the way and yanked him into the bathroom with me, quickly shutting and locking it behind him.

"Dylan, we've got a problem here," I began nervously.

"What kind of problem?" he asked, puzzled.

"I think― I think your cousin likes me," I said. Dylan raised his eyebrows in surprise, then shrugged.

"Well, who could blame them? You're way too cute for your own good, you know," he grinned.

I rolled my eyes. "Flirt later. Help now, Dylan."

He chuckled lightly. "Which cousin?" he asked.

"Patricia."

To my alarm, Dylan let out a bark of laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"I'll bet Paige is having a blast," he said breathlessly, shaking his head.

"Huh?"

To my relief, he managed to calm himself down enough to explain. "Okay, ever since we were kids, Patricia has had to be, well…better. Everything Paige has ever had, Patricia has had to have. It's this stupid rivalry thing between them. And if Patricia couldn't have what Paige did, she always made sure Paige couldn't have it either."

"So…" I said slowly. "Patricia wants me because she thinks I'm dating Paige?"

Dylan nodded. "Precisely."

"That's stupid."

He shrugged. "That's Patricia."

"Okay…so what do I do?" I asked desperately.

"Enjoy it?" he joked.

"I'm being serious."

Dylan sighed, thinking. "Can't you just tell her no? That you love Paige?" he suggested.

I shook my head. "Tried that. But she won't leave me alone. She tried to kiss me."

"Tried?"

I blushed. I probably could've handled that better. "Yeah, she kept getting closer and closer, and I kind of panicked and…"

"And what?"

I cringed. "And maybe shoved a piece of pie in her mouth. And ran away."

Dylan snickered. "And she's still after you?"

"Why do you think we're in here?" I gestured around us at the tiny bathroom. Dylan gave a jerk of his head, as if to say 'point taken.' "Why is everything with your family so…not ever simple?" I demanded.

He considered this. "I think my great-grandparents made it a rule or something."

I snorted. "Well, you all follow it to the letter."

He grinned, and it was that grin of his that let me know immediately what was on his mind. He backed me up gently against the wall, his hands sliding around my waist.

"Hey, we're not all bad, are we?"

I pushed him away. "Not the time, Dylan."

Dylan rested his hands on the wall on either side of my head, as though he planned on trapping me there. "Now, see, that's where you're wrong. It's always the time."

I rolled my eyes in exasperation, easily slipping under his arm and going for the door. "Not when I'm fake-dating your sister. Who, now that I think about it, I should go find. I think Patricia tricked her into going outside for a few minutes.

Dylan looked disappointed. "But…you've been so busy this past week or so, with all those tests and everything. I miss you. I'm really, really horny," he whined. "Really."

I grinned unsympathetically. "Go kiss Alex."

He glared at me. "Oh, thanks."

I opened the door, but before I could leave, he reached past me and shut it again. I turned around in surprise, but before I could even open my mouth to say anything, Dylan kissed me, and all resistance promptly failed.

I bounded down the stairs a little while later, my eyes scanning the room for the female Michalchuk sibling. I located her in the kitchen, munching on a brownie and chatting with Alex, who was perched on a bare edge of the counter.

"Hey guys," I said breathlessly, sliding up next to Paige.

"Hey, boyfriend," she said, smiling.

"You wouldn't have happened to see Patricia around, would you?" My eyes darted nervously to each of the kitchen's two doorways, half-expecting her to come bursting through one at the mention of her name.

"Actually, she's in the basement looking for you," said Alex, choosing a cookie from a plate full and taking a bite.

I relaxed. "Good."

"Marco, why's your hair all messed up?" Paige began fussing over the tousled locks of my hair, trying to groom it to look presentable. I batted her hands away.

"Leave it alone!"

"I'm just trying to fix it!"

Alex was smirking as she observed us. "Well, no one will have any doubt you two are dating. You're already acting like an old married couple."

"I had it all perfect," Paige continued, slapping my hand as I reached up to smack hers away. "What did you do, stick your head out the window of moving car or something?"

"Or something," I muttered.

"Apparently, he had a 'problem'," Alex piped up. "In the bathroom. That he needed Dylan to fix."

Paige's expression quickly went from dawning realization to horrified disgust. "Marco!"

I winced. "What? I was hiding from Patricia, and I couldn't find you, and he was the only other option I could ask for help," I tried to justify myself.

Paige gave me a look. "So, you guys didn't…?"

"Well…"

She groaned. "Ugh! Can't you two keep your hands off each other for just a few hours? Really, it's not asking a lot!" she cried.

"Shh! Keep your voice down!" I shushed her.

She lowered her voice, but did not stop berating me. "I cannot believe you guys! I am going to kill Dylan!" she hissed angrily.

"Look, we just made-out, okay? I didn't let it go any further. And really, you should be commending me for that. It wasn't easy," I said defensively. "Besides, we were in the bathroom. Who was going to walk in on us in there?"

"And what about when you left? Did you come out together?" Paige demanded. "Someone could have seen you then."

"We waited!" I assured her. "Actually, Dylan should be coming out right about now."

"And what if someone saw you leaving and went in right after you and saw Dylan standing there?" she asked, her eyes still shooting daggers at me.

"Paige, chill, all right? We're experts. We never get caught. No one noticed us having sex in the utility closet at graduation, did they?" I pointed out.

"What!?" Alex's shrill exclamation made me wince. "Are you serious? You guys did it in a utility closet?"

I blushed, shrugging, and averting my eyes. "Dylan talked me into it. We snuck into the school, and…yeah."

Alex snickered. "Maybe we should do something like that, Paigey," she said seriously, turning to look at her girlfriend. "Liven up our sex life a little."

Paige glared at her, then turned her icy blue stare to me. "Just be careful, all right? This is working great…we don't need you two blowing everything because you can't keep something in your pants."

"I told you we just ma―" I began, but Paige's surprised, falsely cheery exclamation cut me off.

"Patricia!" she said, flashing her cousin a smile that showed off every tooth. I felt my stomach sink. I turned around, and sure enough, the Satan Cousin herself stood in the doorway.

To my slight surprise, considering how furious she'd been with me a half a second earlier, Paige jovially looped her arm through mine, laughing.

"Marco and I were just talking about the amazing date we had last Friday," she giggled. "Why don't you tell her about it, Marco?"

I blanched, thoroughly confused and put on the spot. "Um, yeah. It was fun."

Paige's fake grin broadened. "He took me to this great restaurant, then we went dancing at the best club in Toronto."

Patricia gave a smile that was as transparent as water, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "Wow. That sounds fun…and expensive," she added, chuckling.

Paige elbowed me in the ribs. My cue to speak up. "Oh, uh…well, only the best for my darling Paige," I said awkwardly.

Patricia grinned slyly. "Right. So, how long have you two been going out?" She was slowly closing in, sidling further into the room toward us.

"Three years."

"Five years."

My eyes widened as I glanced over at Paige. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Patricia's smirk widen.

"Well, we've known each other for five, but we've only been dating these past three," Paige tried to amend. I nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Uh-huh," said Patricia, eyeing us shrewdly. "So where'd you meet?"

This time, I waited for Paige to answer. "Work."

"Really?"

"Yeah. At… a movie theater," Paige invented. I saw Alex trying not to grin at that.

"Well, I certainly commend you on your taste, Paige." I squirmed uncomfortably under the intensity of Patricia's gaze. "He's cute."

I felt Paige's hold on my arm tighten. "And smart. And so hilarious. And did you know he was Valedictorian at our high school?"

Patricia's eyebrows shot up her forehead. "Really? Wow, that's pretty impressive. Smart guys are so sexy," she flirted shamelessly. Paige cleared her throat loudly, and Patricia's attention snapped back to her. "So, I heard you were going to Banting, Paige. How's that working out for you?"

I forced myself not to groan. Bad topic…Bad topic…

Paige flushed. "Uh, actually…" she swallowed hard, and I suddenly felt quite sympathetic towards my friend. "I left."

"What? You left Banting?" Patricia shrieked, obviously shocked by this news.

"Um, yeah, I― well, I transferred back to Toronto U. ― to be closer to Marco." One could only hope that Patricia didn't realize that Paige was making the majority of this up as she went along.

"Wow, Paige, Banting's been, like, your dream school since the seventh grade," Patricia said, looking almost impressed. "And you gave it up for Marco, huh? You must really love him."

"More than anything," Paige said quietly. It was the tiniest of movements, you could have blinked and missed it, but I was certain I saw my friend's eyes flick towards Alex for a fraction of a second. Patricia, thankfully, hadn't appeared to notice anything. Her eyes were fixed intently on me. After a moment, Paige seemed to realize this, and pulled me a bit closer, suddenly possessive.

Alex slid off the counter, slipping past Paige and I, a stick of celery in her hand. As she passed, she bumped lightly into Paige's shoulder. They shared a quick glance, and it was type of glance that spoke volumes, in the tongue of secret silent languages. Then Alex was gone, and Paige and I were left alone with the Satan Cousin.

"You know, actually…" said Paige slowly. "Marco and I were thinking about getting a house together next year. I mean, we already live together now, but we have all those roommates… it'd be just the two of us."

Patricia and I both gaped unabashedly at her. I recovered first.

"Uh, that's…that's right, honey. I― I can't wait." I stammered. I didn't like the way Paige was looking at me. It was the look I often saw her exchange with―

Alex.

Oh, no.

"Yeah, I can't wait until it's just me…" By now she was just freaking me out. Getting closer and closer and…

"…and you."

And then, several feelings seemed to explode inside me at once. Shock, disgust, and a strong desire to push my best friend from me with all the strength I could muster, as her lips met mine in a simple, innocent kiss. I wasn't sure if I was just too shocked to do anything, or if somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that Patricia was still watching, but I just stood there, motionless, until it was over. Once it was, it took a moment for my seemingly fried brain to register what was going on. Paige was giggling. Rambling on about how adorable I was or something. Patricia was looking murderous. And I was still standing there, with jelly-legs and a sudden urge to down an entire bottle of mouthwash threatening to overcome me.

"I'm going to go say hi to Dylan," Patricia spat contemptuously, turning huffily on her heel and storming out of the room.

I turned to my best friend. My best friend, who, sexual preferences, promises, and deceitful fake relationship aside, had just kissed me. I wondered vaguely if this was how Craig had felt that time I'd kissed him.

"What the hell was that? You weren't supposed to do that!" I hissed.

She winced. "I'm sorry. Look, I was talking to Alex, and―"

I groaned. "Oh, no. Oh, no no. Alex and Dylan. What are they going to say when they find out we―"

"Will you just shut up and listen?" Paige snapped. "I was talking to Alex, telling her about Patricia, and she said that if I really wanted to piss her off, I had to―"

"Kiss me?!" I demanded. "I mean Alex has had her share of insane ideas, and I know how much Patricia gets on your nerves… but us― doing this― look, Paige, I just can't. I'm sorry," I said.

"I know it's weird," acknowledged Paige. "I know. It is for me too, believe me. But I've never seen her look so mad! It's like I'm finally starting to get her back for all those years of her always getting the better of me," she explained, a hint of a slightly corrupt grin creeping onto her face. I swear Alex is a bad influence on her.

"But, Paige, c'mon. You can't seriously think the best way to do that is us putting on a nice little hetero-display-of-affection every time she walks in the room?" I said desperately.

"It doesn't mean anything. If we can just get past the awkwardness…"

"Okay, even if we could manage to suck it up and get past that…what about Alex and Dylan? What about our minimum-of-PDA rule?" I reminded her.

She shrugged. "Well, it was Alex's idea, so I don't think she'd have a problem with it. And Dylan knows the deal with me and Patricia. You could convince him to let me mess with her."

"Yeah, but that would actually require me wanting to do this."

"Marco, come on! You know you could do it," she pleaded. "You can get Dylan to do anything! And Alex is okay with it...if it's in the name of messing with someone's head. You can get Dylan to agree."

"Quick question: was Alex, by any chance, high at the time she suggested all this?"

Paige scowled at me. "No," then her face softened into an expression of thoughtfulness. "But you know, it is really scary how far she'll willingly go to piss somebody off."

Inwardly, I made a note never to get on Alex's bad side. I sighed heavily. "If…" I began through gritted teeth. "If― Dylan is okay with it…"

Paige eyed me hopefully.

"…I'll go along with it," I agreed reluctantly. Honestly, the things I did for the Michalchuk siblings.

Paige flung her arms around me, squealing happily and thanking me profusely.

"God, you owe me double time now," I said as she nearly choked me with her boa-constrictor hug.

She rolled her eyes, finally releasing me. "No, I just owe you. Dylan already took care of our first debt to you for the date swap thing up in the bathroom."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "You don't plan on making this up to me that way, do you?" I joked.

She looked disgusted by the very idea. "Ugh. No. I was going to buy you dinner."

I laughed. "So, any ideas on getting past that feeling of vomit rising from the pit of my stomach next time you kiss me?" I joked.

She smacked me on the shoulder, glaring at me. "Excuse me! You know, kissing you wasn't exactly my idea of fun, either."

I scoffed, indignant. "I've never heard Dylan complain," I said haughtily.

She snickered, shoving me playfully as she strode past me. "I never really did think much of his taste."

Paige, how could you insult Marco's gorgeous-ness!? Lol.

So, was it worth the wait? I promise I've got some more drama planned later on. ;)