Ch. 8 The Park

Let me begin by saying that I hate public transportation in all its forms. I really did love riding in our car, especially when I got to drive. Unfortunately, I had a penchant for speeding and the police officers in certain areas liked to give me a hard time. I had one give me a breathalyzer test once. I made it a point to use him henceforth whenever it was convenient and strangely enough my reflexes were dulled to the point where he was shot a total of seven times. Must have been all the alcohol.

I did not have to deal with sticky or torn seats, strange smells, misplaced hands, grouchy or incompetent cab drivers, or any of the infinite (and I truly do believe they are infinite) problems with public transportation. I would not mind walking except that it takes a long time and you still have to deal with all those damn people.

Everyone assumed that I hated humans. The truth of the matter was I was indifferent to them unless they were a threat to the system and then I hated them to an incalculable degree. So long as they didn't touch me. I hated being touched by them, they just felt unclean as if something would come off onto me and so I only handled them when it was required of me and then I tried to touch only their clothing. It was silly, really. There was no possible way they could infect me with anything. But it bothered me just the same, which explained much of my reluctance toward public transportation. They were everywhere.

Even when I successfully avoided bumping into any of them, none of them were nearly so courteous. So I didn't like walking any more than the other methods except the subway, which was particularly horrible in every dimension.

The poison the Glitch Manager chose for us was a cab, whose driver I'm sure hadn't bathed in the last month and spoke with such a terrible accent that it really would have been far more efficient if he had spoken in his native language. But the cab was clean and he did get us to our intended destination without hitting any of the pedestrians that dared to venture into the crosswalk as he was making turns. The Glitch Manager paid the man with money she manifested and the driver made a crack about how if she went with him, he wouldn't make her pay for anything. Asshole.

We settled ourselves onto a park bench in front of the artificial pond stocked with koi and surrounded by an assortment of waterfowl, the most prominent of which were ducks.

I could not say that I minded the ducks because they were rather amusing and I wondered briefly if I would have been better off as a duck program. One of the pretty white ones, not the ugly Muscovy ducks that looked like they had been dunked in a vat of chemical waste. I quickly dismissed the idea as I attributed the program more faculties than it possessed. It was a short string of algorithms that merely had the appearance of being conscious. But it was just a duck, there were millions of them, all alike, and if half of them died, all of them died, the ducks were no worse off. The environmentalists sure would be pissed if they knew. I saw a mother chastising her young daughter about chasing the ducks and I knew that it did not matter; the duck did not care. The duck ran because it was programmed to run and under certain circumstances it would reverse its directions and come after the little human; it made no decision either way.

"I think we spend most of our lives as ducks," the Glitch Manager said.

It was an unusual thing to say, but I nodded in agreement. Yes, I felt like a duck right then.

"But sometimes we do things," she continued, "things we were never intended to do. I once saw a duck climb into someone's car parked over there." She pointed. "Not just into the car, but up into the front seat. It sat down and started quacking. I asked the owner of the car what she had in there and she said she didn't have anything but her school books, that there was nothing that the duck could possibly want. I could not find anything wrong with the duck so I sometimes imagine it just fancied a ride."

I was looking at her inquiringly. I knew that ducks were quite stupid, but had never seen one behave like that. What in its programming could have made it behave that way? She was looking me straight in the face, her dark eyes boring into my own.

"Do you fancy a ride, Charlie?"

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't stay where I was, I knew that. But I knew everything here and anywhere else would be New and Different and I was afraid. New and Different could be dangerous. But so was here.

"Where would we go?"

"The destination is not as important as the commitment to make the journey, because who knows if you will ever get there? Do you fancy a ride?"

"Not if I don't know where I'm going."

"Oh, but you did not know you would end up here, but you made the journey just the same. Rather lousy place to make a life, I might add. You don't have to stay here. All you have to do is get in."

"But what if we find ourselves somewhere worse? What then?"

"Don't you trust me? Have I ever let anything unspeakable befall you? You were about to let those rebels kill you. How could anyplace be worse?"

What she said made sense to me in a maddening sort of way. I didn't have anything to lose, except my life, which I was unable to decide if I was willing to forfeit.

"I think I might. But can you get us a car? I really hate public transportation."

AN: Sorry it's been a while. Life changes and such. Updates should be steady for the next few weeks or so and then...we'll see. Yeah, I know not much of anything happens in this chapter, but it was too dang cute to cut out completely. Hope you enjoyed the cuteness!