Welcome to the Suck

Chapter One.

Holy hell. It's been 6 months since I got here. 6 months, of scalding hot days (and freezing nights). Don't let any one tell you differently. This place sucks.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I saw my best friend Sheik walk through the tent flap. In his hands he carried five water bottles under each arm. The trek to the mess hall made him break out in sweat, that might as well have been water poured on top of him.

As for me. I was laying on my back hoping to god some kind of miracle would happen. Maybe if I prayed real hard, the temperature would drop 40. I wasn't much better off than Sheik. My shirt was a dark brown consecutively through. And it was most definitely supposed to be light tan.

"Oh Dear Lord what did I do deserve this?" I heard Him moan in agony from across the tent..

"You were stupid enough to join the Marines..." I replied back "Now give me some water, I'm gonna die here"

"Bitch what? What do you say?" He replied with a smirk.

"Give me some water, please" with extra emphasis on the latter word.

"Ah now I hear ya. You were all silent the first time" He replied with a smirk. He tossed a bottle over to me. But I wasn't ready and it hit me square in the head.

"Ow holy fuck! Plastic shouldn't hurt like that!"

Sheik smirked a little at my misery as he took a swig. The room went quiet for a few seconds as I nursed my plasticy wound. Long enough for him to bust out the youtube song he heard just the other day.

"I'm hot cuz I'm deployed. You aint cuz you not." I grinned for a few seconds.

"Shit man turn up the AC" I replied faithfully quoting the lines

"Yo man you are the AC..." We laughed a few times. "Yo lets get some Halo 3 going bro." Sheik went on changing the subject.

"Dude the thing will die if I turn it on. Its like 140 degrees out man."

"True dat... This suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks"

This was the True reason We hated Afghanistan... It wasn't the combat or really even the thought of dieing. It was the 130+ degree days. Every day. And having absolutely nothing to do. Ever. To be honest, in a sick way we almost liked the combat. Honestly though, We really haven't taken that many casualties. The thought of death doesn't really go through our head. Our sergeant makes sure of that.

Gannondorf Dragmire. Was one hell of a hard ass. He was also one of the biggest dicks you'll ever meet. But time after time. Mission after mission, that man gets us through it. Hes the best leader I've seen so far. Hes a career man. Went straight from High school to Infantry. Although he looks years younger than he is. We were all pretty shocked to find out hes 41. My first guess had been 34 at the oldest. But the Military does have a way of either keeping you young. Or aging you in unnatural speed. The guys in the Admin buildings had hair as white as snows.

Sheik looked up from his unusual silence, his red eyes holding a deep questioning gaze.

"Hey Link, you ever think of what it'd be like if we joined the ARMY instead?"

"Uh... well no. I figure It'd be kinda the same. Just with better body armor and over all equipment ya know? But I mean, there's nothing more bad ass than a marine..."

I never really got it. Whats the point of having top of the Line camouflage. And then giving it a way with a solid tan Kevlar Vest? If the Marine Corp would just invest some money into putting the same camo pattern on their vests. Then not only would casualty's most likely go down. They would save a hell of a lot of money as well.

"Liiiiiink, There needs to be SOMETHING to do." Sheik moaned in agonized boredom.

My eyes lit up.

"Dude! Go check the post office for me!" I exclaimed excitedly.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeell no, I got us water. And why?" Sheik responded bitterly.

"I ordered some stuff the other day."

"Dude, believe when I say, I dont need your porn. I've jac-"

"I bought a hookah and a stock pile of stoges."

"Were resorting to destroying our lunges for our sheer enjoyment and boredom?... I like this. What brand did you get?"

"Camels and American Spirits, only shit thats worth the lung cancer"

"How right you are... Shit dude I'm gonna pass out if I stand up."

"... how in the flying hell do these people live like this?"

"I have absolutely no clue..." Sheik replied as he decided to just give in to his body and lay on his bed. He fell asleep almost immediately.

I decided to boot my lap top up. It was 15:00 and I might be able to catch my Fiancé Malon while she was still up. The familiar whirring of the machine hummed to life with that horrible start up chime. I proposed to her a week before I was told my ass is going to Afghanistan. She took it pretty hard. But she was tough girl. Besides we weren't one of those disgustingly sappy couples that needed each other constantly

I positioned the web cam right on top of the screen and clicked the application to open. It took a few minuets but the program booted up and I was checking to see if she was on. Sending the request to her would take another good few minuets.

You know I'm really not one to delve into the sappy romance of my life. Ever. In fact I've been in the blood spit and gore scene since I was born. But, I could say with dead honesty I actually did love this girl. Granted yes, I'm only 19. But I have gotten the chance to play the field very well. I was a stud in High school. Hell my band and I almost made it big. We were so fucking close. I flinched at the memory. Our drummer and Lead Guitarist, Two of my best friends since birth. Died from a drunk driver. It was a pretty painful memory. We thought about keeping the band going. But no one could replace them. It felt sacrilegious almost.

But still the point I was trying to make. Is I have definitely had enough time to think about it. I just wish she would pick up every once in a while. I haven't had any sort of communication with her for over a week. It almost made me a little uneasy now that I thought about it. But I'm not the kind of guy to take everything as a bad omen. Shes probably has nursing finals this week. It is June...

I waited for another 3 minuets to see if she where there. But when no response came I closed up shop and passed out on my bed in the same fashion Sheik had... I was hot, I was bored. And I hated it here. This is the Marine Corp. Boredom and Fear.

--

So this is a hella boring chapter. But I'm setting everything up! This plot is gonna be huge! And it had the added side bonus of kinda conveying that. Their not getting shot at everyday. Most of its boring as hell. And I have one review! Thank you! Your the reason I stayed up till 3:35 AM writing this! That and I was hella psyched to write it.

I'm actually kinda not wanting to have that much character description when it comes Link Sheik, Gannondorf, Malon or anyone else that was human in the game. Cause that way your mind kind of does it for you. Cause at this point, most of you have read so many fics. You have one image of these characters ingrained in you. That and I'm lazy. But I will go into heavy description for characters like Darunia.