Okay dearhearts, here's the next chapter. I know that it took forever, but I blame writer's block. It is a rat bastard, much like an ex-maurader we all know and hate.

I would like to give big, huge, enormous thinks to Onyx Angel Eyre, who has been insanely helpful, and is generally my own personal cheerleader. Check out that banner on my page for Home Coming. Guess who made it? That's right. OAE. I would like to send much hugs your way. You rock. Go read The Hunt, Unexpectedly, and Who Knew. They all have Siri (not Sirry) goodness.

I want to address what I would like to call the "Spoom Phenomena". As I receive more reviews, I notice more people using Spoom instead of 'her' actual name. I have one thing to say to all of you who have latched on to the name…KEEP IT UP!! Use it in other places. Pass on the joy of Spoom. Make Mama proud. Done now. AND, look it up in Urban Dictionary. Not sure who put it in, but it's there!

Well, I guess I have but one thing left to say before the story commences. Yes. I own Siri, and Harry. I have them… I… Am a really bad liar. Just don't sue me okay?

Harry jumped as the doors to the room were, yet again, thrust open. Mrs. Weasley stood on the other side, holding still for a moment. The only explanation Harry could find was that she wanted dramatic tension, though he could think of any reason for it. She eventually sauntered into the room, her mouth was curled in a smile, fat rolls rippling, and her eyes in what she must of thought was a wicked squint.

He did nothing as Remus, who had chased her into the room rushed to the woman's side, whispering in her ear. Harry had no idea what he was saying, and only knew Remus was gesturing frantically, and Mrs. Weasley had begun to shake her head like her life depended on it. What ever he was saying, she found to be horrible.

As suddenly as everything had begun, Snape billowed through the doors, and joined Remus in talking to Mrs. Weasley, who just kept shaking her head at them, her gaze directed at Sirius, who had finally started to pay attention to the happenings around him, as apposed to just watching Harry, his usual norm. Sirius seemed to be just as confused as Harry, but was waiting to get involved, like Remus and the other one, until he had some bloody clue what the fat broad was going on about.

After a few minutes of Remus and Snape attempting to talk to her, she elbowed her way around them, and stepped closer to the couch, closer to Harry and Sirius. The malevolent grin grew as she looked at the older man.

"Harry, come here a moment, would you darling?" Her voice was sickly sweet, more than normal, even.

Harry moved to stand up, but was dissuaded by a quick head shake from Remus. Snape seemed to even want Harry to stay seated. Sirius, for his part, just tightened his grip around Harry's waist, and pulled Harry closer.

"Harry, I really would like for you to come over here." He smile was fading as she realized that Harry would not be leaving his seat.

"Harry dear, I had so hoped I wouldn't have to do this." She tutted, before casting a quick spell that levitated Harry off of the couch, and over to a dark, slightly dust corner of the room. As Sirius went to help him, Molly turned her wand to him, and with a harsh whisper, said "Avada Kadavra."

As the beam of green light hit him, he crumpled, like a marionette, whose strings had been cut. Harry rushed to his side, expecting a miraculous recovery, hell, if even he could recover from the curse as a baby, of course his Siri could.

But there wasn't a pulse.

And his eyes were empty.

And from somewhere there was a woman's light laughter.

"Harry, I did you a favor. Your life will be so much better now. He was such a bad influence. Someday you'll thank me." Harry knew he should feel rage at the woman who had taken away his love, but there was only a crushing sadness. He felt like screaming, like killing the woman who he had been told to call mum, but all he could manage to do was let out a chocked cry of "Siri", and let the tears come as they may.

He felt a hand shake his shoulder, but he ignored it. The hand shook his shoulder again, and someone called his name. He looked up, prepared to tell off who ever was interrupting his grief, but realized that his grief was not being interrupted, but he was being woken up.

He found himself staring into the kind gray eyes of Sirius.

"What's wrong Harry?" Sirius had begun stroking his back again, in an effort to calm the teenager down. It didn't really have the desired effect. Harry was shaking, and seemed a bit breathless.

"Nothing…Forget it. Bad dream, you know?" Harry had the same look on his face that he did when Ron caught him having a dream about Sirius.

Harry suddenly found that he could look almost anywhere but Sirius at the moment. It wasn't that he thought that Sirius would think his dream was silly, of course not; it was just that he really didn't want to deal with the ensuing pity, or just the inevitable awkwardness. Honestly, how could one say, 'Oh yes, I just had a remarkably vivid dream about you getting killed by some fat broad who wants me to call her Mum. Other than that, I'm just peachy. How about those Cannons, eh?'

Harry thought for a moment, and realized something. He was, in fact, a curse. It seemed that the closer he got to people, the more likely they were to be killed off in some bizarre set of circumstances that ordinarily would take a hundred years to happen when surrounding a single person. And yet, there he was, with odd deaths surrounding him. It's not considered paranoid if they actually are out to get you. And honestly, what better way to protect someone he loved than to get the fuck away from them? If someone was going to try and do Siri in just because Harry was getting too close, than he had to back off. There was no way the fat broad would kill his boyfriend type person, dammit!

But he had to make Sirius believe that everything was fine. The man had suffered so much stress, and most of it had been Harry's fault. Yeah, there had been some things that couldn't be traced back to him, be he was positive that if he thought hard enough, they could be his fault. And some was just obvious. The whole veil thing? His muggle studies professor from third year? No.

"Come on, I know something's wrong. I'm not quite as dim as some take me for. I mean, I'm flighty, hyper, a bit emotional stunted, possessing a dirty mind, constantly fixated on sex…Harry, aren't you going to stop me at some point? You know, this is the part of the show where you say all the wonderful things about me, and vow love forever." Harry was silent for a few moments, looking him over.

"You have a decent arse."

"Ha bloody Ha. Now come on, what's wrong love?" Sirius's expression had turned, well, serious, and Harry knew that the subject would not be dropped soon.

"Um, how about that game? With that guy?" Harry's attempts to change the subject had turned from slightly subtle to shockingly blatant.

"You've tried that before, you know. It didn't work then, not working now. Now spill. If you can't tell me anything, then how do I know that you trust me? And if you don't trust me, how can I be sure that we are doing the right thing? Maybe I should just let you go hump Spoom." Sirius seemed the picture of a woman distressed. Which was very odd, considering his gender, but considering Sirius, it grew far less odd.

"Guilt trips don't work on me."

"Yes they do." Sirius did have a point, Harry was left with very few options.

"Look! A bear!" Harry pointed to a random spot, and took Sirius's momentary distraction to make a run for it. Or h would have if Sirius hadn't closed and latched the doors with some stupid spell.

"Harry, I am ashamed of you. There was no bear. And I like bears. This is very disappointing."

"At least you're pretty."

"Exactly. Now, sit, and tell Uncle Siri everything that upset you."

"Uncle Siri? My, how incestuous."

"Bob, you are not leaving this room until you tell me what about your dream upset you so much."

"You died again! You died and I couldn't do anything, and it was all my fault and Mrs. Weasley said I would thank her later-"

"So the fat broad was behind all of this," Sirius question, his voice quiet, and sad.

"Yeah, pretty much. But only in the dream. No reason to do anything rash."

"Tell me Bob, do you like this woman? Do you think she deserves to continue to be graced with your presence? I can get one of those handy cabinets from the twins, and your worries would be over."

"Siri, you would still probably get in trouble. If nothing else, Remus would be pissed."

"Yeah, I suppose I should fear the wrath of Moony, even if he is far less frustrated these days. Anyway, I have a surprise for you. Something that'll make you feel better. And then we can watch a movie."

"Is it sex?" Harry perked up instantly at the idea of sex.

"Um no." Harry's grin shrunk a bit, but it was still there. "That comes after the movie." The grin returned. "I just got something that I thought you would like."

"Is it an interesting piercing in an interesting place?"

"No, and is my cock all you think about?"

"No, I also think about mine."

"Okay then, moving on." Sirius removed his shirt, and pointed to a spot on his side. Right above the waistband of his well-worn jeans, there was a green lightning bolt, with the letters SB and HP inside it, small, and almost unnoticeable.

Predictably, Harry felt tears well up and attempted to wipe them away before Siri noticed. A task at which he failed miserably.

"Come here, Bob. And here I was, stupidly thing that it would make you feel better, and you're crying again." He sighed, and looked down at Harry, who was in the process of cuddling up to him

"I'm just not used to having people do grand, permanent gestures of love. The closest I can get is a sweater from Mrs. Weasley. And socks from Dobby. Maybe when I kissed Cho and she cried." Sirius chuckled, but was relived that he wasn't stuck with something that would make his boyfriend cry.

"I think it might be the only one I have gotten fully sober. Hurt like hell. Reminded me why I only get them when I'm smashed." Harry just rolled his eyes. Maybe Sirius and Dean should start some kind of club for alcoholics in denial.

"Didn't you want to watch a movie?"

"Oh yeah! We got a T.V., so I made Moony rent a movie. It's really good too!" Sirius grabbed Harry's hand, and dragged him into the living room, only to stop suddenly at the sight of Remus straddling Severus, snogging the other man quite thoroughly. Siri seemed glued to the spot, only to utter a squeak.

"Oh! I'm sorry. Oh my. Um, it's not…Oh hell, it's exactly what it looks like." Remus had jumped off of Snape, who, for his part, seemed rather calm and nonplussed.

"Remus, do you mind putting in that movie you rented for Sirius? He wanted to watch it, and I need to help him to the couch."

"Not the couch," Sirius croaked.

"It's okay, I can clean it. It'll be just like new, okay?"

"Okay." Harry cast a quick cleaning spell, and led his boyfriend type person to the couch.

"Can't do anything for yourself, can you Black? Have to depend on a child. Positively shameful." Snape had worked his way into full sneer mode, and was trying to goad Sirius into a fight.

"Why can't he depend on me?" Harry had again said far more than he had meant to. He wondered for a moment, if Hagrid has rubbed off on him.

"Is there something that no one is telling me?"

"Sevvey, do you want to watch the movie?" Remus was almost as good as the twins at changing the subject, as he proved to valiantly try and cover Harry's goof.

"Must I?"

"Yes, you must. Now come on, this one's good. And you like that one actor that's in it, Norman something or other." Snape sighed, and prepared himself for 110 minutes of the idiotic Black, and Potter.

They all settled themselves onto the couch, which adjusted it's self to make sure that everyone had room.

"Siri, did you choose some religious movie?" The movie had just started and all Harry had seen was a priest.

"No, now shush, and watch the movie." Sirius was leaning close to the screen, and most likely burning his retinas, but could care less.

"Aw, poor Norman, he doesn't deserve to get hit with bits of poultry." The other three men took a moment to stare at the normally surly potions master who seemed truly upset at the idea of the man getting hit with a turkey leg.

"Hey Sirius, don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen."

"And Harry, a penny saved is worth two in the bush."

"Both of you shut up."

"Yes Remus." There was quite for a while, but soon enough the running commentary started back up.

"Greenley is a moron, isn't he?" Harry was greeted with a cry of 'just like you!' from Sirius and Snape, who seemed shocked that they had agreed on something.

"Yeah! Get that coffee bitch!" Sirius was looking positively gleeful, while the others just rolled their eyes at the strange man-child. And again, for a while, they were quiet, until-

"No! Don't kill him! Norman! I shall save you!"

"Professor, it's a movie."

"Ah yes. That it is Harry."

"Bet they're gonna have fun with that 'fucking rope', huh?"

"Remus! I had no idea you were so kinky! But aren't they brothers?"

"Sevvey, honey, Fred and George. And there are a lot of things you don't know." Harry winced at the mental picture created by both the comments. Especially how Snape had seemed so intrigued.

"Aw, Smecker was so mean. He just wanted to cuddle." Harry rolled his eyes at the statement that was so typically Sirius. He had done the same thing when Siri had wanted to cuddle long into the night, and Harry had wanted to sleep. And of course, Siri had pouted, and Harry had given in. Merlin, he was whipped. But that was another subject for another day.

"Hey Sirius, can you river dance?"

"No. I need to though! And then I can be just like Smecker!"

"Didn't Duffy say that he was shot from a downward angle?"

"Yes Professor, that's whey Greenley is an idiot."

"Again with the rope, the boys have quite a fixation."

"Remus? Stop talking about the rope. Please." Harry looked positively disgusted.

"Look at that arse!"

"Sirius, is it impossible for you to have some measure of decorum?" Sirius nodded, and Remus just rolled his eyes at his old friend.

"Well, it was Norman." Snape received a smack on the back of his head from Remus.

"So that's what they're gonna need the rope for!"

"Well Harry, that and…" This time, Remus received the smack from Sirius.

"Moony, no one needs to know about your sexual escapades with the git."

"Jaffar? Honestly? Does this guy look anything but Italian?" Harry gestured to the screen, only to have the three other men shush him.

"So, their friend comes, and they decide to scare him half to death, and make him almost wet himself? I like these guys!" Sirius was positively bouncing in his excitement over the torment of Rocco.

"Wow. Look at all those close ups. Norman looks great…" Snape again was stared at, but his companions were growing increasingly used to him swooning over the man.

"No Rocco, it's not dead. Splattering its self all over the wall is its new trick. It can also do long division." Harry rolled his eyes at the package boy (or man, as he appeared to be pushing 35)'s stupidity.

"Say that cat's name bitch! Say its name!" The statement once more reaffirmed the idea that Sirius Black was a moron.

"Why do they call him the funny man? He's really not. It's kind of sad." Harry wasn't sure if Sirius was pretending to be confused, or was actually confused. It could easily be either.

"Sevvey, are you obee-kaybee?"

"Remus, please kindly shut up."

"You are so touchy when you can't see Norman's face."

"Yes, he'll tip her. That will make everything okay. Idiot." Harry's comment was again met with a chorus of 'just like you!'

"A human cage…Kinky!"

"Remus, if you talk about something being kinky again, and thus giving me mental images I don't need, I will hex you into next week!"

"And how many times have I heard about your sexual exploits in graphic detail, huh Padfoot?" Harry took a moment to whisper what might have been 'we'll talk about this later' into Sirius's ear.

"Yes! Vindication for Greenley! One man, six guns!" Harry was exstatic that finally, Greenley bested Smecker, if only because he was doomed to have the nickname.

"No! Norman got hit! Nooo!" Snape seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"Hey, he's fine. Rocco lost a bloody finger!" Harry seemed indignant that Rocco's sacrifice be noticed.

"No one cares about Rocco, Potter." And the room was silent, except for the movie, at least for a few minutes.

"Moment of silence for the fall of Rocco, please. Moment over," said Sirius, attempting to be serious.

"Hey Black, are you still exactly like Smecker? Because I doubt you look that good as a woman," ribbed Snape, in an oddly not hostile tone.

"Well, we can just ask all of Moony's students about how you looked, huh?" Sirius, for his part, was smiling, and not in the process of trying to kill his mortal enemy.

"Il Duce was their dad? What the fucking fuck?" Three sets of eyes turned to the cussing man in tweed, quite confused as to where the expletives came from. Later, he would blame it on the movie and no on would believe him. The men finally, as the end of the movie was upon them, sat without speaking until the credits rolled.

"Well, that was good. Sevvey, do you want to get some lunch or something? I cued up a movie already for these two. It's about the bassist in a band Sirius liked from the seventies."

Harry and Sirius cuddled together, watching the movie for a while before Harry spoke up.

"The man who plays the lead is quite sexy, isn't he?"

Well, that's all folks. For this chapter, I mean. Not the story. Certainly not that. Harry's still so deep in the closet he's in Narnia, isn't he? Or at least to most of his friends...-cough- Remmy and Siri(obviously) -cough-

If you didn't understand the movie watching bit, never fear! The whole thing was written while watching one of my favorite movies, a bit of a cult classic, really. While anyone who has seen the movie will instantly know, if you haven't, it really looses its appeal. Basically, it was written for a lovely person who has been reviewing since HC, and wanted the lads to watch it. And for the record, she rocks.

If you can guess both movies, I will give you cookies. The second is a bit harder, because there aren't as many hints, but I thought it was a clever idea, so it made it in.

Next, I will again be doing random drabbles. Again, I need prompts. Gimme!

Far more on the random side than normal, I need to name my new computer. And I shall have a contest. Whoever suggests the best name will get a banner in the theme of their choosing, to display a proud link to on their page. Get to thinking!

Ah, obligatory threat time! If you do not press the happy blue button, Ginny will force Harry to have sex with her, and get preggers. Then he will be forced, out of his sense of duty to Ginny, to leave Siri and marry her. I am that sick and twisted. Just reread the beginning of the chapter if you don't believe me.