AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hope all my loyal readers are enjoying the musical numbers. Everything is a bit helter skelter, so the story line won't be absolutely positively accurate. But I hope you'll all enjoy anyway! Any requests, by the way?
read and review!
lola
(The curtain opens to reveal a beach. The survivors have all set up camp, and the remnants of the plane have vanished. Claire and Charlie are on stage left, talking. Sawyer helps Kate gather some wood for a fire that they're building up on center stage. Claire, and Kate, as well as the other Oceanics, run off stage, as Sawyer and Charlie waltz around. Hugo walks on stage, looking confused.)
HUGO: Hey, where is everyone? Sawyer? Sawyer!?
SAWYER: (carrying firewood and daydreaming) Ex-con Kate, Ex-Con Kate,
Sawyer got a kiss from Ex-Con Kate.
HUGO: Yo- Charlie?
CHARLIE: (daydreaming) Claire, Claire, did I say, what pretty hair?
Claire, Claire, she's the fairest of the fair.
SAYID: (leaping on the beach) Shannon, Shannon, one of a kind,
Shannon is a cannon that blows my mind.
(Jack walks on stage)
JACK: Whoa! Look at all you cool cats, all in love.
HUGO: How do you know?
SAWYER: He's a doctor. He knows those things.
HUGO: Well, I'm not in love.
ALL: You're not?
SAWYER: Ex-Con Kate,
CHARLIE: Claire, so fair.
SAYID: Shannon…
HUGO: Nope. Two words, Lottery.
LOCKE: (walking by) That's one word, Hugo.
HUGO: (sighs) You'd think that money could buy you smarts. Well, it doesn't.
(Curtain closes- and then opens, to the fanfare from Carmen- Hugo is wearing a Viking helmet and a metal bra)
HUGO: (coughs) wrong number, dude.
JACK: Awkward.
(Curtain closes again and then opens to reveal a recliner in the middle of the stage. A reporter lady runs up in front of him)
REPORTER: Here it is- the lottery,
The winner of it surely is has a life party,
They've got it easy, breezy and true,
here's the number- 48151623...four two!
HUGO: What?
REPORTER: I'll say it again, if you're mentally bruised,
four eight one five one six two three...four two.
HUGO: I won.
(Hugo turns to Locke, Sayid, Sawyer, Jack and Charlie)
HUGO: ahem (to the tune of 'The sound of Music')
I won lottery, with a scratch off lot-to card,
I bought everything, everything in sight,
But then I realized, with my scratch off lot-to card,
That I was cursed, cursed as cursed can bite.
My lot-to number was 4-815,1-16-2-3-4-2,
And that, for me was, the end of my life,
Because I was cursed for good,
I crashed 815, with my scratch off lot-to card,
It's my fault we are here, cause I've been cursed before,
I want to go to the shrink, with my scratch off lot-to card,
And talk to dead people, and have delusions galore.
LOCKE: Wow, that's rather grim, Hugo.
HUGO: Story of my life, dude.
Now I live with the curse, of my scratch-off lot-to mat,
And I'm done, and I'm cursed, and I'm still fat.
(Everyone walks off except for Sayid, who finds a wire that leads to the Ocean)
(To the tune of 'OMG, you guys!' from Legally Blonde the Musical)
SAYID: (On Tranciever) Hugo!
HUGO: (On Tranciever) Yeah!
SAYID: Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, guess what's going on?
HUGO: You found a big boat dude, and it's gonna take us home?
SAYID: Nope, but-
JACK: (On tranciever) Hey guys- what is going on?
HUGO: I didn't know this had threeway-
SAYID: Listen to what I say...
Go tell Locke, Go tell Locke you guys,
I found a wire in this par-a-dise,
It must lead to something, it must lead to it now,
Or open up or slice- go get Locke you guys!
JACK: hey hey hey!
SAYID: (To himself)
I'll make these things my way, I'm gonna take the high way,
And find out where it leads,
One way goes to the ocean, where the waves are in motion,
And the other goes into the trees!
(On tranciever)
Don't tell Locke, Don't tell Locke you guys,
I'll check this out in my own de-vice,
I'm gonna find where it goes, and soon on my own,
So I'll be back twice- don't tell Locke you guys!
JACK: hey o-k.
(Sayid runs through the jungle. Trees fall around him and he suddenly is picked up in a net)
SAYID: Traps, not a trap, not a trap demise,
I thought I, I thought that I had eyes,
I should have known better not to run into the jungle,
Stupid pride,
Go get Locke, you guys!
(Silence)
SAYID: Well this is great.
(A gun clicks- Sayid looks from his net to Danielle Rousseau)
DANIELLE: That would be your...last mistake.
Don't move now, Where is Ben?
Where is Alex- she should be with him.
(Danielle begins to cut him out of the net. She then handcuffs him, as the curtains close)
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lola