Author's Note: Mina! I appreciate you patience. Please give a round of applause to my Editor Priestess of Groove who was working while on vacation in Italy!
Disclaimer: I do not own La Corda D'Oro in any way or form.
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Chapter 4
Kahoko clutched at the hand that held Len's barely a moment ago. She willed her mind to carve the feeling of his fingers into her memory as the coolness started fading.
She felt a hand on her shoulder when a gentle female voice spoke near her. "Dear, why don't I help you to clean up, huh? You look terrible." The voice said soothingly.
Kahoko didn't move. She was fully intended to wait here until Len came out of those chilling double doors. The red sign of "Surgery in Progress" stared at her like the eye of a menacing beast.
"We have to make you presentable when he comes out, ne? And don't you worry about a thing; Dr. Kobayashi is one of our best surgeons at the hospital." The voice assured her.
Kahoko turned her gaze to the sound of the voice, and was greeted by a kind smile. "I am Nishikata Ai, the head nurse here at section two, how may I address you?" The lines across her features and the pair of knowing eyes spoke years of experience.
"Hino…Kahoko…" She stammered, suddenly feeling like a little child.
"Hino-san, let me tidy you up a little so when he wakes up he won't be worried about you." Nishikata told her, ushering her away.
"We won't be far, see that room over there? There is a perfect spot that I know of where you can keep your eyes on the door," she added when Kahoko's steps faltered.
Just like she promised, the nurse seated her where she could watch the door. She sat down numbly. Her tired brain registered the slight tingles on her knees. She cast her eyes down and couldn't keep her hands from shaking when she realized that she was covered in blood. Len's Blood.
She unbuttoned and pulled her sleeves up abruptly to find that her hands and arms were stained scarlet. The sight would forever be seared into her soul.
The feeling of blood rushing to her head nauseated her. She knew she was about to pass out but she no longer had the strength to fight it. Her body pitched forward, and was caught at the last second, before she fell completely to the floor.
"Easy, easy…" Two hands pushed her back to the seat.
"Don't try to stand, just breath normally and keep your head down until you feel better." The same soothing voice instructed. "In the meantime, I am going to patch your knees up, it might sting a bit, but it was chafed pretty badly, OK?"
Kahoko could only bob her head in return.
The burning pain on her knees and the harsh smell of antiseptic reduced the nauseating sensation to a more tolerable level. She pushed herself up slowly just as the nurse finish wrapping bandages on her.
"Thank you." Kahoko whispered. She hissed slightly at the throbbing pain.
"You are welcome; it will probably sting for a while. Do remember to change the dressing tonight and clean it with either antiseptics or rubbing alcohol over eighty-three percent. We don't want you back with bacteria infection." The nurse winked at her even as she gave her the same gentle smile.
Kahoko blushed but was too tired to offer anything so she simply nodded.
"Now, why don't you go to the washroom and clean up a little? Just leave the towels and I'll pick it up later." She helped her to her feet and walked her over.
"Nishikata-san, I am fine, I really don't need—" Kahoko attempted to protest.
"No, you do, Hino-san." Her eyes turned serious. "I cannot allow you to stay here in your current state, please. And you'll understand when you see yourself in the mirror."
She opened the door to the washroom for Kahoko. "Don't worry. I will come get you if anything comes up from Surgery. I am at the counter just across the hall. Let me know if you need anything else." She pressed a stack of towels into her hands and closed the door behind her.
Kahoko was left staring at a ghastly looking woman in the mirror. Her brain did not recognize herself upon first glance. Her Seisou Academy uniform wrinkled messily on her body. The right side of the lapel was tainted into a ghostly brown from the dried blood. Her hair hung limply around her face and she brushed it aside with one, shaky hand.
It was limp due to the blood clinging to every strand. Her face was smudged red like face paint. Like children playing house, all she needed now was a headdress. Len's frantic reaction in the ambulance reflected in volume. She felt sick; the vicious pounding to her head and the acidic taste in the back of her throat was her only warning before she doubled over and threw up into the sink, brutally retching in an ungraceful retort at the terrible event that had occurred.
Pushing herself up shakily, she cleansed herself the best she could, scrubbing futilely at the blood. She managed to remove most of it and smeared the rest, making the presence fainter but still a reminder – the only physical link to Len.
Her head whirled around when the door swung open and revealed a pain stricken Hamai Misa.
"Kahoko!" She covered the distance between them and raised her right hand.
Kahoko snapped her eyes shut, bracing against the sink for a slap across the face that she knew was coming. But instead, a finger swiped at the tears she didn't know she was shedding.
"I am so glad that you are OK." His mother croaked through a mouthful of tears.
"NO!" She cried out, pushing away, her hastily mended façade falling apart, "You should hate me! You should wish me dead because I was the one…" She choked between sobs and tears, all her pent up emotions let loose like a broken dam: fear, grief, regret, sadness, and anger coursed through her body. Before Kahoko realized what happened, she was being hugged.
"WAHHHHHHHH……I am…sorry, I am so sorry, I…liked him…I loved him so much…" Kahoko cried brokenly into his mother's shoulder.
They sank down to the cold tiled floor together, clinging to eachother for dear life, drawing strength from their sorrow.
"I know…" Hamai-san replied, after a moment of recomposing herself. "I've known that for quite some time now." She smiled tearfully at her.
Kahoko could barely open her eyes now, she had never cried so much in her life. She accepted a handkerchief from his mother, wiping at her puffy eyes and watery nose.
"Hamai-san…" Kahoko began but was interrupted.
"Call me Mom." Hamai Misa prodded.
"O…Okaa-sama…" Kakoho stammered. Her flushed feature grew a shade more crimson at the implication.
"Don't think for a moment that he was oblivious to you, he had asked me so many questions about girls I took the hint silently." Her now Mother-In-Law to be managed to winked at her.
"No matter what happens to him I will be by his side." Kahoko blurted out, eyes cast down at their clasped hands.
"Silly girl, don't tell me. Tell him that when he wakes up," Her Mother-In-Law tilted her chin up with a finger.
"I did." Kahoko whispered.
Their gaze met, Mamai Misa's eyes teared up again and she could only nod in reply.
They helped each other up from the floor and took some time to freshen their faces, and then they headed for the waiting room. They went to the nurse station and spoke to Nurse Nishikata, but all she could tell them was that Len was still in surgery. They thanked her then, and the nurse assured them that they would be the first ones to be notified if anything new developed.
Kahoko had learned from Misa-san (at her insistence) that she was on her way to the airport when the call came in from the investigator at the scene of the accident. The police found Len's wallet and was able to cross-reference with the ambulance report filed by the hospital.
At Misa-san's request, Kahoko gave her best eye-witness account of the event. It was told with much regret and self-loathing. Misa-san stopped her at one point, looked direct into her eyes.
"Please keep this in mind, Kahoko. Len is very much like me in every aspect. No one can force us to do anything." She clasped her trembling hands, "He did what he did today because he thought it was important and worthwhile." She squeezed her hands reassuringly.
"Did you know he was going to Austria to study at the Conservatory in Vienna?"
Kahoko's eyes widened at the news, her mouth hung open, speechless. She could feel her breath started to hitch again.
"Kahoko, no more crying," Misa-san nudged her, "I passed by a group of nurses on the way in, and they were speaking of a young couple's spellbinding declaration of love…" Kahoko couldn't help but lower her gaze.
"That was how I found you," Misa-san added, "And how you brought him back from the brink of death with your sheer will."
"For that I am thankful." Misa-san bowed her head slightly, Kahoko mimicked in returned.
"I…didn't know what else…" Kahoko muttered.
"You saved him, Kahoko, more then you ever know. Whether it was through your music or your feelings," Misa-san told her solemnly. "Kami-Sama forbids, but even if he does not survive the surgery, at least he knows what love is. Which was what neither I nor his father was able to teach him."
She pressed on, "Don't doubt for a second that he did not understand the consequences of putting himself at risk. He discusses his future plans with us numerous times and he knew full well what he was doing."
"He did it today because he thinks that you are important, Kahoko. He thinks that your wellbeing is more important than being able to play the violin, than studying music or his life. Do not ever let anyone convince you otherwise! He is my son, and I knew him." Misa-san said it with conviction.
Kahoko study her features, looking for signs of resentment or bitterness but found only sincerity. She nodded in consent and acceptance as both women closed for a heartfelt embrace. Each choked with their own set of emotions.
"Have you talked to your family yet?" Misa-san asked after both had calmed down.
Kahoko's hand flew to her lips, "Oh no…" She had completely forgotten and she had no idea of the whereabouts of her carrying case.
"Here, call them now. They must be worrying sick by now." Misa-san handed her a mobile phone.
She dialed the numbers and was greeted by her mother's relieved voice, "Ah, Kaho-chan, I was about to send your sister over to the school. I've seen the news about an accident happening near the school and you didn't answer your phone, is everything alright?"
"Hai, Kaa-chan, everything is OK, please don't wait for me for dinner tonight. I will be very late," She shook her head at Misa-san's arched eyebrows, "I lost my phone somewhere but I will find it quickly. I'll call you in a little while, ne?"
"More practice?! Kaho, you better keep your grades up like you promised me or else I will talk to your teacher about it, you hear?" Her mother grumbled.
"I will Kaa-chan, ja ne." She ended the call trying to sound cheerful.
"I have to see him." She said as though to explain her action. She wasn't really lying, but she didn't tell the truth either, Misa thought. And from the looked of her eyes, there was no other way to sway her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kahoko jolted awake from a bad dream she didn't want to remember. For a moment she didn't know where she was until the smell of antiseptics reminded her. She must have fallen asleep somewhere along the line. She grimaced and shifted uncomfortably on the hard vinyl chair, which was now really digging into her sore back.
How long has it been…?
"Kahoko, are you feeling a little better?" Misa-san asked with a small grin holding out a cup of water to her.
She accepted it gratefully and gulped it down in one swig; just now realizing how thirsty she was.
"How long…" She began, but stop mid sentence as she saw Dr. Kobayashi exit through the doors.
Kahoko grabbed Misa's hand and dragged both of them toward the physician.
"Kobayashi-sensei!" Kahoko yelled.
Doctor Kobayashi stopped and followed the sound of her voice. His eyes flashed in recognition of Hino and stood patiently for their arrival.
"Hino-san, you look much better." Kobayashi offered politely. "And this is…?" He looked to the woman standing next to her.
"I am Hamai Misa, Tsukimori Len's mother," Misa bowed formally in which he returned, finally understanding the situation.
"Please, sensei, is Len…?" Misa could feel Hino's fingers on her arm tightened in apprehension.
"He is not well, but alive." Both women released an audible sigh of relief.
"Hamai-san, we need to talk in private regarding his condition." Dr. Kobayashi quirked his brow when Misa pulled Kahoko closer with her.
"She IS family." She informed him. He gave a curt node in acknowledgement.
He guided the pair to an empty staff room and seated them. He took a deep breath and detailed the operations. Kahoko was listening numbly with a sinking heart.
"The extents of his injuries were severe. His right arm was broken in two places and we have to secure it with titanium plates. There were also minor fractures at the right wrist so his right arms would be in cast for a few months. The left knee had sign of hyper extension so a cast was also needed there."
"Most notable subjects were his lung and pelvis; the lungs was punctured in three different places by the broken ribs resulted from the impact. There was also a penetration wound to his side by one of the broken rib fragments. We were able to close the wounds and drain the cavity of excess liquids, but it will probably result in a reduced lung capacity in the future." He paused for a few seconds, gauging their reactions before continuing.
"The pelvic fracture was the major cause of his severe blood loss. We were able to isolate the bleedings but we have to wait until his lung is stabilized before we perform a second procedure. We can reconstruct the damaged sections with prefabricated skeletons but his bi-pedal movements will most likely be impaired." Kobayashi fought hard to suppress a sigh.
Both women cast their faces downward to appear impassive, but the distress emanating from them was almost tangible. He cleared his throat and tried to sound cheerful.
"On a more hopeful note, X-ray showed no signs of irregularities to his spinal region or his skull. MRI scan also cleared him of any physical trauma to his brain, his neurological responses were also positive however…" He trailed off, debating on how to deliver the hardest part.
Both women looked up sharply at him. Kahoko was the one carrying a trembling voice, "But…what, sensei?"
It was Kobayashi's turn to look down at the floor, "His heart flat lined on us at the scene, although there were no physical injuries to the brain itself. Impact of this magnitude would no doubt cause concussion to the brain and coupled with the fact that his brain was out of oxygen for the maximum timeframe allowed…"
"But he was conscious, he came back to me!" Kahoko protested fiercely, standing up.
"Which was a miracle all by itself, Hino-san," the physician reassured.
"He is NOT comatose." He said which caused Hino's knees to give out in relief, almost missing the chair. Misa caught her at the last second.
"Not by any medical standard," he continued, "but the EKG did show a decrease in brain activities then normal and we have to wait for more evaluation when he regains consciousness…" he left it at that.
If he regained consciousness. He didn't have the heart to add.
Both women were silent for a long time, hands held together. Finally Misa cleared her throat, "Sensei, would you be able to provide us with an estimate…?"
Kobayashi sighted and shacked his head slowly, "Unfortunately, Hamai-san, I wouldn't. He could be waking up tomorrow or ten years from tomorrow. I really can't say."
He gave another sigh, "It is up to the patient at this point. With your help and Kami-sama's blessing, l sincerely hope that he will be back with us soon."
"I want to see him." Kahoko stated. It wasn't a request.
Kobayashi looked from face to face, "After surgery, briefly," he warned.
The ICU ward was closely monitored by a group of nurses. Kahoko walked among them numbly. She led Misa-san with one hand who seemed dazed with all that had happened. They followed the doctor until he led them to his side.
The sight was both delightful and horrific to her. There he was, alive and yet soulless. He was surrounded by all sorts of machineries she couldn't name; almost every orifice was supported by some sort of tubing. He even had tubes trailing from his chest and abdomen, with reddish/yellowish liquid flowing through them. He eyes were taped over with small white discs. The right side of his face had swollen to shade of purple. Bandages and tapes covered most of his body. Only his ears remained untouched. He was barely recognizable as a human being, let alone Len.
His mother let loose a sob and Kahoko instinctively wrapped her into an embrace, away from the bed, her own eyes stung with tears. She waited until the shuddering subsided. It was her turn to comfort Misa.
"Okaa-sama, please be strong, we have to be strong for Len, ne? I know he will come back to us however long it takes." Kahoko tried to catch her gaze.
After a moment of hesitation, "Hai, I am sorry, you are absolutely right." She dabbed the last of her tears of her eyes and wiped some off Kahoko's.
They both walked over to each of his sides. As each held onto one of his hand gingerly, making sure nothing was disturbed.
Kahoko was the first one to speak, in a hushed tone, kneeling down by the bed.
"Len, Okaa-sama is also here to see you." She choked back another lump, "Please rest for now, we will be back soon and we will be at your side when you wake up."
She hoped feverishly that he would sit up then and tell them that everything was going to be OK. But his only response was the steady rise and fall of his chest accompanied by the gentle hissings of the machine that seemed to be breathing for him (later she learned that was the respirator), and the rhythmic beeping of the machinery that measured his heartbeats.
Misa wordlessly fingered his blood-spattered hair, fighting back waves of emotions.
The nurses asked them to leave at some point a few minutes later as they brought in another cartload of equipment. Kahoko reluctantly untangled her fingers with his but not before placing a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth.
"Len, tatakai onegai, please, fight this for us." She whispered to him tenderly before joining his mother's waiting hand at the door.
--
Vocabulary:
Mina: Everyone
Okaa-sama: Mother (Formal)
Kaa-chan: Mom (Informal)
Tatakai: Fight
Onegai: Please
Author's Note 2: I will be changing the rating from T to M in Chapter 5, you have been warned :)