Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out guys! It took a while to write, and I was sick last week. A sinus infection, bronchitis, and tonsillitis. Can you believe it? Thank you so so so damn much for all the reviews, and as usual, keep reviewing! I'm really counting on you guys to tell me in each chapter sucks or not. Seriously.

Before I Ever Knew Better

Cameron slept fitfully that night. As she tossed and turned, House moaned in pain as she jerked and her hand knocked against his thigh. Grumbling to himself, he got up and staggered into the hallway trying to find his Vicodin. Swallowing the located pills with relief, he stood in the doorway, watching Cameron make faces in her sleep. He would have to take a picture of that one night and save it for a good blackmail opportunity. Wait, one night? As in, a night other than tonight? I only took two pills, right? I'm not high... He rolled his eyes at himself, knowing that there wouldn't be another night. She moaned softly in her sleep, making House chuckle. He would definitely be using that against her in the near future. He limped back to her bed and tried to fall back asleep. Cameron woke up when the mattress dipped beside her. Quickly turning over so he wouldn't notice that she was awake, she curled up into a ball and tried to remember what she had been dreaming about.

"There we go, just like that!" Cameron cheered for the 10-month-old baby in front of her. Giving her a bright grin, the baby stared at the smiling woman in front of her as she took her first steps on her own.

"Jake!" Allison called for her husband, knowing that he wouldn't want to miss this.

"Yeah? Ally, I'm almost done with dinner, can it wait?" Jake said with a loving smile as he walked into the room.

"I don't think so," she said regretfully, grinning as she pointed to Joan who was still upright and mobile.

"Well well well, what do we have here?" Jake said, sitting next to Cameron on the floor, pulling her into a hug.

"We have an bright, intelligent child who is going to drive us crazy. Her looks she gets from you, her curiosity on the other hand comes from me." Cameron said, leaning forward and scooping up their daughter. Leaning back onto the carpet, she wriggled her way closer to her husband, comfortable sandwiching Joan in between the two.

"Love you Jake," Cameron said softly as she closed her eyes.

When she opened them again, she was outside, laying in the grass. Joan was now a toddler, but she was sitting on her chest, smiling down at her as the sun warmed her face.

"Hey there cookiepants," Cameron said to her daughter, smiling up at her husband as he stroked her hair.

"Ally?"

"Yeah?"

"Love you babe," Jake whispered, leaning over to kiss her softly. She hummed happily to herself as she lost herself in the moment. Here, with her family, she knew she was whole. She wasn't damaged Cameron, she was completely functional Ally. Joan jumped off Cameron's chest and ran a few feet, following the butterfly that had captured her attention.

Jake smiled at his daughter and Cameron took his hand, lacing her fingers with his.

"She's beautiful."

Jake nodded in agreement. "Yeah, she sure is. Good thing too. If she had ended up looking like me, I don't know what we would have done," he teased, running his finger along the back of her neck, playing with her halter strap.

Cameron adjusted her green and white sundress so that her legs got a little more sun.

"Now that's more like it." Jake smiled suggestively at his wife. She sighed and placed his hand on her belly.

"Hopefully this one will end up with my good looks too," she smiled coyly as she waited for his reaction. He just stared straight ahead, one hand on her stomach, the other twirling her hair.

"Jake? Jake, what's the matter?" She asked, sitting up, not letting go of his hands. He smiled sadly at her and brushed a tear away from her face, she hadn't even known that she was crying.

"Jake?" she whispered to him, realizing she could no longer hear Joan playing in the grass. Looking around, her daughter was nowhere to be found.

"Jake, where's Joan?" Jake pressed a kiss to her forehead and got up to walk away. Cameron sat in the grass, staring at his back as he left her.

Cameron felt her cheeks burn as the night's second round of tears made their way down her face. She was really going to have to stop crying around House.

The steady sound of House snoring lightly was enough to convince her that he was asleep. Turning over to face him, she noted the orange bottle now resting on the nightstand. Satisfied that he would never hear her, she swallowed and began to whisper.

"I am damaged, House. You were right. I'll never tell you this, but I am. You were right House, everybody lies. I lie. I lied to my husband Jake. After the cancer had metastasized to his brain, we knew there was nothing left that we could do except for a few treatments that would only let him live a month or two longer. So he decided not to continue treatment. I didn't fight his choice because it was what he wanted. I respected his decision. About a month before he died, I found out I was pregnant." House shifted in his sleep, and Cameron waited until he was settled before continuing. Him actually hearing this was the last thing she needed.

"I didn't tell him about the baby," Cameron paused as she waited for the tears that never came. "I figured that it would only hurt him more, knowing that he was leaving a wife and a child. When he died, I was relived in a way. Knowing he wasn't suffering anymore, and knowing that I was no longer keeping anything from him. At his funeral, I had this sudden feeling that it was going to be a girl. I miscarried a week later. I never told anyone but my mother about it. Her name was going to be Joan. And that's it. That's one piece of the puzzle for you." Cameron smiled softly, the kind of smile meant only for herself, and closed her eyes, tiredness numbing her, bringing with it the dark weightlessness of a dreamless sleep. And throughout her whispered confession, House's breathing remained steady. He hadn't slept this well in a long time.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The morning did not bring chirping birds and sunshine streaming through the window. It was snowing, creating a winter wonderland of already plowed dirty snow and an overcast sky. House woke up to a thumping against the side of the apartment, and quickly figured that it was a tree that had decided not to let him rest in the warm bed of the stunning brunette that was currently lying next to him.

Wincing, he grabbed for the bottle of vicodin and massaged his leg, waiting for the usual morning stiffness to subside. Unsure as to whether or not she had discovered him in her bed last night, he decided not to take a chance, and stood up slowly, hoping she wouldn't wake up.

"Where do you think you're going?" she croaked, sleep thick in her voice.

"God, you sound sexy in the morning," he shot back. "I was just-"

"It's only 8, neither of us got that much sleep last night, and it's apparently disgusting outside. Not to mention we have the day off," she listed, adding an eye roll. "I'm perfectly content to loaf around in bed for another hour or so, and I know for a fact that that guest bedroom bed isn't nearly as comfortable as this one." He nodded and sat back down, perching on the edge of the bed.

"Well you're halfway there. Loafing is easier if you're actually relaxed."

House rolled his eyes since she couldn't see him and relaxed into the pillows, pulling up the comforter that had been kicked off by Cameron during the night.

"Where the hell are you going?" House yelled at Cameron's retreating form as she tied her robe and tried to leave the room.

"Be right back."

"Cameron! Where are you going!" He whined loudly.

"Keep your pants on, I'll be right there!"

"You want me to keep my pants on? That's not what you were moaning in your sleep last night!" House grinned victoriously as he heard her drop some silverware at that moment.

Cameron reappeared a few minutes later with two coffee cups and a newspaper. A little flushed and smiling brightly, she gave him his cup, and took her robe off, crawling back into bed, newspaper already turned to the crossword.

"I thought only Chase did the crossword." Cameron could hear the frown in his voice.

"Chase sucks at the crossword. Chase only does the crossword to look smart."

"Did it work?"

"For about five minutes, then he opened his mouth," she deadpanned, not even glancing at House as she filled in the little boxes.

"Ouch. I've taught you well. Now, do I get anything or do I just get to stare at you?" He could see the corners of her mouth twitch as she tried suppressing a smile. She leaned over and grabbed a little remote off of the nightstand. His face twisted with confusion as she handed it to him.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this? Is it a remote for your car?"

Shaking her head in amusement she pressed the black button and House watched in amazement as a plasma TV rose up from what he thought was just a really big footboard. He felt something poke his side, and he turned to find Cameron grinning, holding out a remote.

"Do you have any movies?" He asked, trying to play it cool. Cameron silently threw a little party for herself, she knew she had impressed him.

"Try the nightstand next to you." Turning back to her crossword, she watched House out of the corner of her eye. She started laughing to herself when he picked the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, knowing she wouldn't be able to refrain from quoting along with the movie.

"Where's the DVD player?"

"It's built in. On the side there's a slot." House's eyes widened in awe.

She settled back into the pillows and resumed work on her puzzle as House happily drank his coffee.

House watched the movie in silence and tried to refrain from laughing as Cameron said the lines along with the movie perfectly even though she wasnt't really watching.

"So, you watch this movie often?"

"The number's are relatively high," she muttered, not breaking concentration. "Why do you ask?"

"You're speaking along with the movie. Usually that's normal but the accuracy is quite impressive." House rolled his eyes at himself, he didn't know what it was about her that occasionally ruined his usually stellar snarking ability.

"I'll bet you thought I didn't even have a tv before tonight. That all I did was sit around and read medical journals? Maybe talk to my cat a little?"

"You have a cat?"

"No, but I'm betting you thought I did."

House nodded and didn't bother responding. He resumed his concentration on the movie, he hadn't liked it the first time but for some reason it seemed a little less annoying now.

"So you want me to keep my pants on?" House blurted out as Kiera Knightley was being chased around her house by undead pirates.

"What?"

"Earlier. You told me to keep my pants on."

"You're impossible."

"Now that's original," he snarked as he leaned forward and reached over her, grabbing her now empty coffee cup and got up, walking to the kitchen. She sat there, not doing her puzzle, not watching the movie, just waiting to see what was going to happen. She tried to keep her face free of surprise as he came back into the room with the coffee pot and their two cups stacked.

"Couldn't carry two full cups," he said plainly. He unstacked the cups, and she noticed that there was already cream and sugar in both. Taking the pot from him, she poured their coffee and they both went back to what they were doing without saying anything else.

By the time Captain Jack Sparrow had revealed that he had stolen a doubloon from the treasure, she was still working on the crossword, and he had been sitting there and for the past few minutes, had done nothing but stare at her.

"What!" She finally broke down after trying to ignore him.

"You've been working on that crossword puzzle an awfully long time. Are the words too big?" He asked sardonically, attempting to look innocent.

"It's the Sunday New York Times puzzle. It's difficult."

"Well let me help,' he commanded, and pulled her closer, looking over her shoulder. They sat like that for the rest of the movie, and by the end of the credits, they were done.

"See? That wasn't so bad! All you needed was for a man to bail you out and give you the answers!"

"Oh right, and by help you mean telling me to make dirty acrostics out of the answers."

"I hold that my way is more fun. What do you get out of those?"

"It's fun."

"Ehhhh, wrong!" House buzzed. He leaned over, disappearing for a moment before coming back up with another movie. "This is fun!"

"Only you would think "Misery" was fun. Put it in." She said, getting up again, this time with no shouts from House. She came back with a box of pop tarts and it landed in his lap with a thump as she threw it at him.

"Pop tarts? You eat pop tarts?" House asked as he tore a packet open, amazed that Cameron ate junk food.

"Rarely. And by rarely I mean on my mornings off. Now shut up and watch the movie," she smirked as she took a huge bite of her breakfast.

Halfway through the movie, she felt herself drifting off, and she turned on her stomach to stretch out and fall asleep. House smiled softly as he watched her. He decided that she slept like a cat. First she stretched out, then cuddled against the nearest object for reassurance. He nodded in confirmation as she rolled over, and stopped about an inch away from him, her hand resting against his. He stopped the movie and lay down, covering them with her comforter. Half asleep already, he reached out and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her against him, the warmth of her body lulling him into a deep sleep.

He woke with a start, drenched in a cold sweat. He sat up quickly, wincing as the sudden movement pulled against his IV. Pausing, he noticed that he was blessedly pain free. He moved to call the nurse but before he could, his hospital door opened.

"Stacy, what are you doing here?" He stared at his ex, noting how time had changed her. The lines on her face were deeper and her eyes were blank. She no longer wore her crucifix necklace.

"Greg, last night you woke up writhing and screaming. The pain was so bad you blacked out. I called an ambulance. There was another infarction," she said, no trace of emotion in her voice. For the first time, he couldn't figure out whether it was on purpose or not. He could not read this woman standing in front of him.

"No, that's not possible," he croaked, staring her down. "I don't feel any pain."

"I told them to amputate. It was too much pain for you." House looked down in horror and saw that she was not lying.

"What the fuck did you do! You knew I wouldn't want this!"

"House, I did what was best for us."

"You did what was best for you, you bitch! Get the hell out!" In his fury, he could slowly feel the leg pain coming back.

"Greg-"

"Get out of here! Nurse! Nurse!" House screamed as he frantically pushed the call button, while Stacy stood there unmoving, just watching him. No one came. House called until he blacked out again, the pain too strong.

When House opened his eyes again, he was in the same hospital room, sans Stacy. Closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, he placed his hand at his hip and slowly moved down, feeling only bandaged leg. He couldn't tell what kind of condition his leg was in, if he even had a whole leg left. The door slid open.

"Allison." He eyed her warily, unsure of the road this was going to go down.

"Greg-"

"What happened?" He asked softly, dreading her answer.

"You woke up last night, writhing and screaming in pain. I gave you a shot of morphine but that only worked for a few minutes. It hurt too much, you blacked out. I called Wilson and he met me here. He's waiting outside. There was another infarction." He watched her eyes as she spoke, and could only find sorrow.

"That's impossible, I don't feel any pain," he whispered, confused as to why she was smiling.

"We couldn't wake you up Greg. Since you named me your medical proxy, I had to decide what to do."

"What-"

'"I had them bypass the dead muscle. They put you in a coma. That was three weeks ago," she said, not quite looking him in the eye, afraid of what he would say next.

"Ally-'

"If the pain is still too much, they can go in and remove the dead muscle. I didn't want them to amputate because I knew that's what you wouldn't want. I knew that you originally wanted the bypass the first time. This way, you still have some say in the matter." Her voice regained some confidence as she supported her decision.

"Cameron, why didn't you amputate? You're right in saying it wasn't what I would have wanted, but I'm sure everyone was pressuring you to make that decision, even Jimmy." Cameron nodded as she quickly walked over to his side, sitting gently on the bed so she wouldn't jostle his IV.

"Because I knew you wouldn't want it. It's your decision, not mine, even though I'm the one who had to make the call." She closed her eyes and sighed in exhaustion as she reached out and smoothed out some of his hair. He reached out and caught her wrist, forcing her to look at him.

"Thank you."

House slowly woke up, and quickly calculated that only half an hour had gone by. He pulled Cameron tighter against him and buried his face in her hair.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Don't know where to put you anymore
You can't be kept inside my dresser drawer
I find the pieces of you in my dreams
And in the evenings
Spill out the edge of my mind.
Memories of you feel like they're miles wide
It's all I can do to get to the other side
Of these evenings

I'll see you tonight in the back of my mind
When I remember your skin like I remembered it then
When you would dress me in white with the look in your eyes
Knew you'd love me forever
Before I ever knew better

Before I Ever Knew Better- Sara Bareilles