Everyone Knows but You

"Freddie!" Carly called, as he and Sam were leaving after iCarly, "We need to talk."

Sam raised her eyebrows suggestively, earning glares from her two best friends. Well, her best friend and her crush. Same difference, anyway. She left, though.

"Freddie, sit down."

"Carly, what is this about?" he asked nervously, worried that she would finally like him; only now, when he had fallen for someone else.

"This is about you and Sam." She stated simply and in that voice filled with surpressed emotions. "It has gone on too long!"

"What, Carly?"

"It's obvious that you like her! And it's obviously that she likes you! Everyone sees it! Except you two! Seriously, stop acting like you like me, because you clearly don't ,and I'm only fine with that as long as you acknowledge that you like Sam and do something about it! Everyone sees it!"

"I… How did you know?"

"Come on, man. I guess I just pulled it out of thin air. No, I think I must be a mind reader. Because I totally have never noticed the way you blush every time she looks at you, or the way you take all of her crap without complaint, or that every time she pays you a grudging compliment, you hang on to her every word! I just guessed, you know?"

"That obvious?" He asked, wincing.

"Yes, Freddie Benson! Everyone at school thinks your little 'I love Carly' act is so cute, especially when you turn bright red every time she addresses you and your bad pretense of staring at me when you're really staring at her!"

"Oh. Well… what am I supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to give me ten minutes after school to knock Sam upside the head and then come in here and ask her out."

"Okay?"

"Good. You can go, Freddie, before your Mom flips out."

"Thanks. See you tomorrow, Carly."

"Bye, Freddie."

"Hey Sam, we need to talk."

"Sure… but first I want ham, and where's the dork?"

"I asked him to give us ten minutes, because I need to talk to you. About him."

"What about him?" Sam groaned while cutting herself some ham.

"It's so obvious that you like each other!" Carly practically screamed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there Carls. Where'd that come from?"

"Idaho? 'Cause it sure didn't come from you always beating on him, but being sweet in the same way, or the way you smile every time he walks in, or the way your eyes light up when he talks to you, or the way you actually listen when he starts 'geeking'! And don't think I haven't noticed!" Carly was hysterical at this point.

"But… he likes you… a lot…"

"Sam, I know you're not the brightest crayon in the box, but are you so stupid that you believe his little façade? He likes you, Sam, and you're blind not to see it!"

"But…"

Freddie opened the door just as she was about to protest. For the first time, he called out "Sam?" Shy, nervous, quiet, but there.

"Yeah?" The same tone, just twice as rare coming from Sam.

"Ummmm… did Carly actually smack you upside the head?"

"No… did she say she was gonna…" exponentially increasing her pitch and volume, Sam shrieked "Carly did you talk to him about me?"

"Maybe…" Carly backed away slowly.

"Oh my god, Carly! What did you do?"

"ShetoldmetoaskyououtandIthinkIwill." Freddie answered in one incomprehensible breath.

"What?" Sam lost some of the hysteria in her tone.

"Samwillyougooutwithme?"

Her eyes widened. "Fredward, did you just ask me out?"

He looked miserable at her response. "Yeah," he slouched, "Sorry… I'll just go…"

"Fredward, are you going to slouch out before I can say yes?"

"What?" He shot up straight and wheeled around.

"Dork, I said yes once already. Don't make me do it again."

"Okay!" He agreed, breathlessly excited. "Groovy Smoothie?"

"Sure!" she looked over at Carly…

"Sam, GO!"

She ran out the door, following Freddie.

Spencer came out from his room, wiping his hands.

"The building's still standing." He observed with surprise.

"Yeah," Carly agreed. "They're at the Groovy Smoothie."

"So Sam didn't knock down the building, or kill you, and agreed to go out with Freddie, who managed to ask her without dying himself."

"I'm pretty sure," Carly said, trying to dissect her brother's quick analysis.

"Awesome!" He cried, throwing the towel in the air.

"Yeah..."

Cuz you know Carly's gonna HAVE to set them up sometime... seriously people.